trumptman
08-09-2004, 04:31 PM
Biggest new divorce court issue (http://signonsandiego.printthis.clickability.com/pt/cpt?action=cpt&title=More+parents+going+to+court+when+ex-spouse+wants+to+move+kids+%7C+The+San+Diego+Union-Tribune&expire=&urlID=11258870&fb=Y&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.signonsandiego.com%2Funiontri b%2F20040808%2Fnews_1n8custody.html&partnerID=616)
Not too long ago, Jacqueline Scott Sheid was a pretty typical mother on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Divorced and with a young daughter, she had quickly remarried, had a son and interrupted her career to stay home with the children while her husband, Xavier Sheid, worked on Wall Street.
Early last year, Xavier Sheid lost his job and saw his only career opportunity in California. But Jacqueline Sheid's ex-husband, who shares joint legal custody of their daughter, refused to allow the girl to move away. So Jacqueline Sheid has spent much of the last year using JetBlue to shuttle between her son and husband on the West Coast and her daughter (and ex) on the East.
The New York court system, which she hoped would help her family to resolve the problem, has cost her tens of thousands of dollars in fees for court-appointed experts, she said, and has helped to prolong the process by objecting to her choice of lawyers.
Worst, she added, "they are making me choose between my children."
Is she really being asked to choose between her children or is it just that she can't get rid of her past marriage and the associated strings by moving off and forgetting about Daddy?
More and more states seem to be abolishing the presumptive right of the custodial parent to move away from the non-custodial parent. This is in part because many fathers are getting more custody or even joint custody.
Of course the mother (or father) isn't really held within a certain community, just given the choice that leaving will alter the custody arrangement, possibly resulting in them moving from primary custody to a form of visitation.
Since the percentage of custody often changes who must pay what with regard to child support, they could end up losing money as well in a move.
What are the answers for matters like this? Would non-custodial parents (usually fathers) be more likely to let a child go if they knew their visitation rights would be enforced even across state borders? What about if they knew that the time away couldn't be used against them in a child support dispute. (aka Your honor s/he hasn't seen their child in nine months (Yes but I was supposed to have them all summer and you wouldn't send them.))
The courts have been pretty clear that if you can't parent, you better pay, and pay heavily. Now we have the flip side which is, well you better not prevent me from parenting, even if it means you can't move our child away. They enforce this even if it could be to the detriment of your own lifestyle.
But what are the answers? I mean what was once one is now two. Divorce is a division. When you have a family that is made up of parts of a prior life and your current life, they aren't always going to smoothly mesh together. So how is it resolved in a manner that is best for the child?
Nick
Not too long ago, Jacqueline Scott Sheid was a pretty typical mother on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Divorced and with a young daughter, she had quickly remarried, had a son and interrupted her career to stay home with the children while her husband, Xavier Sheid, worked on Wall Street.
Early last year, Xavier Sheid lost his job and saw his only career opportunity in California. But Jacqueline Sheid's ex-husband, who shares joint legal custody of their daughter, refused to allow the girl to move away. So Jacqueline Sheid has spent much of the last year using JetBlue to shuttle between her son and husband on the West Coast and her daughter (and ex) on the East.
The New York court system, which she hoped would help her family to resolve the problem, has cost her tens of thousands of dollars in fees for court-appointed experts, she said, and has helped to prolong the process by objecting to her choice of lawyers.
Worst, she added, "they are making me choose between my children."
Is she really being asked to choose between her children or is it just that she can't get rid of her past marriage and the associated strings by moving off and forgetting about Daddy?
More and more states seem to be abolishing the presumptive right of the custodial parent to move away from the non-custodial parent. This is in part because many fathers are getting more custody or even joint custody.
Of course the mother (or father) isn't really held within a certain community, just given the choice that leaving will alter the custody arrangement, possibly resulting in them moving from primary custody to a form of visitation.
Since the percentage of custody often changes who must pay what with regard to child support, they could end up losing money as well in a move.
What are the answers for matters like this? Would non-custodial parents (usually fathers) be more likely to let a child go if they knew their visitation rights would be enforced even across state borders? What about if they knew that the time away couldn't be used against them in a child support dispute. (aka Your honor s/he hasn't seen their child in nine months (Yes but I was supposed to have them all summer and you wouldn't send them.))
The courts have been pretty clear that if you can't parent, you better pay, and pay heavily. Now we have the flip side which is, well you better not prevent me from parenting, even if it means you can't move our child away. They enforce this even if it could be to the detriment of your own lifestyle.
But what are the answers? I mean what was once one is now two. Divorce is a division. When you have a family that is made up of parts of a prior life and your current life, they aren't always going to smoothly mesh together. So how is it resolved in a manner that is best for the child?
Nick