New and Exciting Ways to Get Drunk

[crazychester]

Think there's got to be more to drinking alcohol than tequila slammers and depth charges?

Has opening beer bottles with your eye socket lost its challenge?

Wish you could get pissed and risk death at the same time without a driver's license?

Well your wish can come true when you subscribe to OH! The Weekly Magazine for Creative, Thrill-Seeking Alcoholics.

Issue 1

Special Report (http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/3021400): Nil By Mouth - Drinking for the Sick and Infirm.

It's easy to take dangerous drinking methods for granted when you're young and healthy. But Mother Nature can be cruel, and what could be more cruel than finding yourself physically incapacitated and unable to drink. Here at OH! Magazine we decided we wanted to do something to help those too sick to drink the normal way, and to give them the opportunity to kill themselves in the process, just like the rest of us. Our team of researchers worked day and night investigating non-oral means of ingesting alcohol, painstakingly evaluating the risk potential of each method. We're delighted to finally be able to say, Eureka! as we bring you.......

The Sherry Enema - A How-To Guide

Step 1 Find yourself a woman prepared to love you and give you enemas, and marry her. Most women nowadays already know how to give an enema but if she's unsure, download the "Enemas for Your Man" Fact Sheet from our website.
Step 2 Get her to pump a minimum of 3 litres of sherry up your arse. This is guaranteed to raise your blood alcohol level to at least 47 per cent but much higher readings* can be achieved.
Step 3 Die.

Yes it's that easy!

* For higher blood alcohol levels, substitute a tawny port or Stone's Green Ginger Wine.


Regular Feature (http://thewest.com.au/20041215/news/general/tw-news-general-home-sto130036.html): High Risk Drinking Games

You're a guy. You're 21. And you're Australian. Suddenly, blowing your hand off with a petrol bomb you made in your dad's garage seems so childish. So yesterday. During those special moments of male bonding with your mates, you want to risk life and limb like men, not boys.

Sounds like it's time for a game of Thar She Blows! Will you manage to imbibe all the beer or will your STOMACH EXPLODE???

As with all great drinking games, Thar She Blows requires a simple home made device. We call it The Amazing Powered Beer Helmet. It might sound complicated but if you can make a bucket bong, you can make a Beer Helmet. DIY instructions with an easy-to-understand diagram are available from our web site.
To get started you'll need: a helmet, a jug, a length of hose, a pump, a power drill, beer of your choice

Once you've assembled your Beer Helmet, take turns pumping beer into each others stomachs. When someone spews, check the vomit for signs of blood. No blood, bad luck their stomach hasn't exploded. The game is over when someone starts spewing blood and feeling really sick. They need to get to a hospital smart quick. If they die before you arrive, they've exploded their oesophagus as well and are disqualified. First person on life support wins.

Next week's issue
Thrill your family and friends by bleeding from the ears when we show you how to mainline tequila into your jugular vein using a 23 gauge needle, a butterfly clamp, a baby feeder and a bicycle pump.

Transfusion Fun! Hey Brainiac, want to replace your cerebrospinal fluid with vodka? It might not be Alcohol Dementia but it's certainly alcoholic and demented.

Plus you could win a case of Grange Hermitage in our new Catheters and Cannulas Competition!

To purchase your copy of OH! go to www.betterlivingthroughchemistry.com
Single issue $4.95 plus P&H
***Special Offer***
Order a 12 month subscription of OH! for a special low, low price of $54.95 and we'll include free P&H and a pack of Arse-OHs, the all new Alcohol Suppositories available in 5 exciting flavours: Dry Martini, Brandy Alexander, Pina Colada, Black Russian and Margarita. Offer ends 21/02/05.

[BRussell]

:D

Uh I mean :no:

[Splinemodel]

You have a very vivid imagination.

As far as new and exciting, some guys showed me this drink called a "snakebite," which supposedly is illegal in the UK. It's only hard cider and beer, but they say there's a strange chemical interaction that results in its banned status.

Of course, I had already had a few beers, and didn't know if the "snakebite" was anything special or not. I'm going to try another one today, which is Thursday and the date of our weekly gathering to place bets on sports events of the weekend.

[datamodel]

Originally posted by Splinemodel
You have a very vivid imagination.

As far as new and exciting, some guys showed me this drink called a "snakebite," which supposedly is illegal in the UK. It's only hard cider and beer, but they say there's a strange chemical interaction that results in its banned status.


They're yanking your chain. It's not illegal, but quite a lot of landlords/bar staff won't serve it as it gets the younger crowd pissed and vomitty much earlier in the evening than usual.

Particularly popular in the West Country.

Cheers,

Martin (in the UK, and, er, from the West Country...)

[Common Man]

Then there is the sherry enima


Wife accused of giving man lethal sherry enema
By RICHARD STEWART
Copyright 2005 Houston Chronicle


LAKE JACKSON - Investigators say a Lake Jackson woman caused her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, leading to alcohol poisoning. The enema caused his blood alcohol level to soar to 0.47 percent — almost six times the legal intoxication limit, a toxicology report showed.
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Tammy Jean Warner, 42, was indicted on a charge of negligent homicide. She is also charged with burning the will of her husband, Michael Warner, a month before his death on May 21.

Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop owner, had a long history of alcoholism, but couldn't ingest alcohol by mouth because of painful medical problems with his throat, said Lake Jackson police detective Robert Turner. The enema was a way he could become intoxicated without drinking alcohol, Turner said.

"I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," Turner said.

Turner said police think Warner gave her husband at least two large bottles of sherry, which is stronger than wine, in the enema.

"We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said, "These were at least 1.5 liter bottles."

Turner said police don't know if the victim had ever become intoxicated in that manner before the lethal incident.

Tammy Warner told police that she found her husband dead in their bed. Turner said she admitted giving him the sherry enema, but not to causing his death.

"A person drinking alcohol will usually pass out before getting a lethal dose," Turner said.

"But if you're getting it through an enema, you can pass out and still be ingesting more alcohol."

Tammy Warner surrendered to Lake Jackson police Monday and was released on $30,000 bond. She could not be reached for comment Wednesday.

Neither Turner nor Brazoria County District Attorney Jeri Yenne would comment on the charge related to the will.

The indictment said providing him with alcohol and destroying the will constituted a "criminal episode."

Although Michael Warner may have agreed initially to the enema as a way to become intoxicated, Yenne said, "he was not a willing participant in something that would cause his death."

"He knew that it was very dangerous for him to have any form of alcohol and she knew it was very dangerous for him to have alcohol," Yenne said.

The couple's neighbors said they were surprised Wednesday to learn of the indictment.

John Criswell, 24, said the widow had mostly been away from the modest brown frame house at the end of the street since her husband died.

"She said she was scared to stay there by herself alone," Criswell said. "She said she'd been having trouble with his family."

The couple had been married about two years, police said.

"She asked me to keep an eye on the place," Criswell said. He said he last saw her about three weeks ago.



http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/3021969

[Splinemodel]

Originally posted by datamodel
They're yanking your chain. It's not illegal, but quite a lot of landlords/bar staff won't serve it as it gets the younger crowd pissed and vomitty much earlier in the evening than usual.

Particularly popular in the West Country.

Cheers,

Martin (in the UK, and, er, from the West Country...)

Thanks for the info on the "snakebite." I figured that it was a myth.

As you may gather, there is a handful of Englishmen in the betting circle. Many of us play on a fairly competitive, amateur soccer (er, football) club team, and the league seems to attract any red-blooded Briton, who, for whatever reason, has found his way to the Florida coast. Just out of curiosity, where do you live? One of the big areas of betting over the last few weeks has been the FA Cup, which has given me a decent knowledge of the geography of the UK.

[mmmpie]

Originally posted by Splinemodel
Thanks for the info on the "snakebite." I figured that it was a myth.

Ahhh, snakebite, favourite of the under agers. I dont ever remember it ( hmmm, not sure that I remember it at all ) being more effective than beer or cider in equal quantities. It is really good at giving you a hang over.

My fave is snorting tea spoons of vodka.
Fast up and down.

[SpcMs]

Originally posted by mmmpie
My fave is snorting tea spoons of vodka.

:D Excellent!

[Splinemodel]

I can't say that I've ever snorted a teaspoon of vodka, although I might have to try it, just to say that I have.

[datamodel]

Originally posted by Splinemodel
Thanks for the info on the "snakebite." I figured that it was a myth.

Just out of curiosity, where do you live?

Nowadays in the South East - near Maidenhead/Reading way. I was brought up in a town called Clevedon, just down the coast from Bristol.

Did they also tell you about Scrumpy? Cider made by farmers, bought in plastic 1 gallon flagons and and opaque light orange colour. *That's* dangerous stuff.

Mainly because you don't feel drunk until you try to stand, then realise you've lost the use of your lower body and it's all going dark. Which is especially frustrating if you were only getting up to go for a wee.

:D

Cheers,

Martin.

[Common Man]

Sherry enema Update:

http://www.lonestartimes.com/content/images/enemasetup.jpg

The sherry enema story gets another twist:

A Lake Jackson (texas) widow denied Wednesday that she provided the alcohol that led to her husband's death from a sherry enema.
Tammy Jean Warner said her husband, Michael Warner, 58, not only had a longtime alcohol problem but had been addicted to enemas since he was a child.
He gave himself the enema that led to his death May 21, she said.

Ms. Warner claims the man used all manner of substances to get his enema fix:

She said he paid $1,000 to study colonics at a school and corresponded with other enema users on the Internet. Not all of his enemas involved liquor, she said.
"He did coffee enemas, he did Castile soap, Ivory soap," she said. "He had enema recipes."

She's saddened by her husbands death, but:

"My husband told me he loved me more than anything in the world except for God," she said. "I'm not ashamed of my husband because I loved him, and I supported him 1,000 percent, whatever he wanted to do. That's the way he went out, and I'm sure that's the way he wanted to go out because he loved his enemas."
Don't we all?


http://www.lonestartimes.com/index.php?id=0,1819,0,0,1,0

[ThinkingDifferent]

I pity the cop who has to give a breath test to somebody who has had a sherry enema.:lol:

[Aquatic]

My favorite it straight shots of Everclear. Or in Jello.

[Amorya]

Originally posted by Splinemodel
You have a very vivid imagination.

As far as new and exciting, some guys showed me this drink called a "snakebite," which supposedly is illegal in the UK. It's only hard cider and beer, but they say there's a strange chemical interaction that results in its banned status.

Of course, I had already had a few beers, and didn't know if the "snakebite" was anything special or not. I'm going to try another one today, which is Thursday and the date of our weekly gathering to place bets on sports events of the weekend.

At my students' union, they mix it with blackcurrant and call it a Purple. I drank it for a bit after arriving at uni - have moved onto Real Ale now though, and left the awful stuff behind :)

Amorya