BEST quote ever:

[a_greer]

Just heard a GREAT quote on the radio: Mike Berbiglea, a comedian, on Bob And Tom...

he said
"I am looking for a girlfriend, I want a girl who loves me for my money but doesnt know math!"

Any other insainly funny quotes?

[Placebo]

Algol's sig cracks me up every time I see it.

"People don't want handouts! People want hand jobs!"
- Connecticut governor William O'Neil at a political rally, followed by riotous applause

[a_greer]

Originally posted by Placebo
Algol's sig cracks me up every time I see it.

"People don't want handouts! People want hand jobs!"
- Connecticut governor William O'Neil at a political rally, followed by riotous applause Your sig is a good quote too

[Placebo]

So's yours, I just quoted that in "reality" yesterday if you can believe it.

[Vargas]

If there's anything more important than my ego round here I want it caught and killed

Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, I think

[Vox Barbara]

Generally i love G. W. Bush for quote's sake;)
I'm sure you can imagine how unimaginable it is to live in that horror. (GWB)

[Relic]

"We've got bush!", from Revenge of The Nerds.

[Vox Barbara]

The United States is committed to the worldwide elimination of torture and we are leading this fight by example.
June 2003 26[19][20]

Browse through amazing Wikipedia, gorgeous i tell you.

[Relic]

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

[Vox Barbara]

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
--Philip K. Dick

[Relic]

Originally posted by Vox Barbara


Try LSD.

[Vox Barbara]

Originally posted by Relic
Originally posted by Vox Barbara
Try LSD.
Nice.

[Splinemodel]

One that I like is from The Big Lebowski, but out of context it's hard to follow.

"Dude, we can't do that. It fucks up the plan."

In other words, a good plan is one that can't easily be fucked up. Sobchek's plan was most certainly a bad one, although it made for a funny scene in perhaps the best comedy movie ever made.