occam whisker
07-03-2006, 04:33 PM
I’ll admit I didn’t like Osama Bin Laden at first. The whole 9/11 thing kinda left me little reason to. Of course Bush was completely responsible, but it would be the height of insanity to deny that Bin Laden was not somehow involved. At the very least, he knew of Bush’s plans yet did nothing, allowing the Shrub’s carefully planned Reichstag Fires to draw the nation’s attention away from more important matters, like affordable heath care for gay seniors. However, my disgust for Bin Laden’s participation in Bush\\\'s twisted crime lasted about three seconds longer than Michael Moore’s. Quickly anger gave way to reason, reason to understanding, understanding to sympathy, and sympathy to limp-wristed acquiescence. By 9/12 I had realized a sort of philosophical fellowship with this modern day Ché Guevara and his romantic struggle against imperialist U.S. aggression. After all, anyone with such an intense hatred of Western Civilization can’t be all that bad. However, his newly released audio message may force me to rethink my capitulation.
It’s typical for any politician to inch a little towards the opposite side of the political spectrum around election time, but Osama’s hard swing to the right just confounds me. His speech rife with attacks on Bush’s illegal and immoral war for oil, (he had a few choice words for the wanton slaughter of innocents by bloodthirsty U.S. troops, though Jack Murtha beat him to the draw on that one), Bin Laden mocked Bush’s sinking approval numbers. Then he demanded Bush close his Gitmo gulag, remove all U.S. troops from the Muslim Holy Land, and repeal his tax cuts for the wealthiest one percent of Americans. All was pretty much standard Party fare, until Bin Laden went off the deep end and started yammering about God.
“Our Islamic nation was surprised to find its knight, the lion of jihad, the man of determination and will, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, killed in a shameful American raid,\\\" said a voice, purportedly that of Bin Laden.
And then he throws all rationale to the wind and concludes with this whopper:
\"We hope to God he accepts him as a martyr.\"
Whoa…where did that come from? I understand that he’s just trying to woo the red state evangelicals, but all this God talk is liable to alienate his liberal base! The Party is fairly open-minded about whom it accepts within its ranks. Perverts, cop killers, Arkansas hillbilly rapists; there’s room enough in the Big Tent for everyone who thinks like we do. We even encourage a certain amount of religious faith, as long as it is 100% insincere and tempered with a progressive attitude towards sodomy. But every time Mr. Bin Laden mentions God in a public forum, he continues to chips away at the Wall Between Church and State – a wall he must understand, that was constructed to protect him from religious fanatics like George Bush. Osama really needs to remember that, if he’s ever to win the hearts and minds of the few of us remaining liberals that don’t already see him as a kindred spirit.
It’s typical for any politician to inch a little towards the opposite side of the political spectrum around election time, but Osama’s hard swing to the right just confounds me. His speech rife with attacks on Bush’s illegal and immoral war for oil, (he had a few choice words for the wanton slaughter of innocents by bloodthirsty U.S. troops, though Jack Murtha beat him to the draw on that one), Bin Laden mocked Bush’s sinking approval numbers. Then he demanded Bush close his Gitmo gulag, remove all U.S. troops from the Muslim Holy Land, and repeal his tax cuts for the wealthiest one percent of Americans. All was pretty much standard Party fare, until Bin Laden went off the deep end and started yammering about God.
“Our Islamic nation was surprised to find its knight, the lion of jihad, the man of determination and will, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, killed in a shameful American raid,\\\" said a voice, purportedly that of Bin Laden.
And then he throws all rationale to the wind and concludes with this whopper:
\"We hope to God he accepts him as a martyr.\"
Whoa…where did that come from? I understand that he’s just trying to woo the red state evangelicals, but all this God talk is liable to alienate his liberal base! The Party is fairly open-minded about whom it accepts within its ranks. Perverts, cop killers, Arkansas hillbilly rapists; there’s room enough in the Big Tent for everyone who thinks like we do. We even encourage a certain amount of religious faith, as long as it is 100% insincere and tempered with a progressive attitude towards sodomy. But every time Mr. Bin Laden mentions God in a public forum, he continues to chips away at the Wall Between Church and State – a wall he must understand, that was constructed to protect him from religious fanatics like George Bush. Osama really needs to remember that, if he’s ever to win the hearts and minds of the few of us remaining liberals that don’t already see him as a kindred spirit.