What's The Weirdest Dream You've Ever Had?

[midwinter]

The question is prompted by my dream last night:

I dreamed I was playing basketball with some of the staff writers for The New Yorker against some of the staff writers for The National Review and I had the ball and James Surowiecki would not get open and it was making me very angry.

And then I woke up.


How about y'all?

[BR]

I've had some really fucked up dreams but I don't remember much more than how freaking weird they were.

The Sweeper of Dreams by Neil Gaiman

"After all the dreaming is over, after you wake, and leave the world of madness and glory for the mundane day-lit daily grind, through the wreckage of your abandoned fancies walks the sweeper of dreams.

Who knows what he was when he was alive? Or if, for that matter, he ever was alive. He certainly will not answer your questions. The sweeper talks little, in his gruff gray voice, and when he does speak it is mostly about the weather and the prospects, victories and defeats of certain sports teams. He despises everyone who is not him.

Just as you wake he comes to you, and he sweeps up kingdoms and castles, and angels and owls, mountains and oceans. He sweeps up the lust and love and the lovers, the sages who are not butterflies, the flowers of meat, the running of deer and the sinking of the Lusitania. He sweeps up everything you left behind in your dreams, the life you wore, the eyes through which you gazed, the examination paper you were never able to find. One by one he sweeps them away: the sharp-toothed woman who sank her teeth into your face; the nuns in the woods; the dead arm that broke through the tepid water of the bath; the scarlet worms that crawled in your chest when you opened your shirt.

He will sweep it up-- everything you left behind when you woke. And then he will burn it, to leave the stage fresh for your dreams tomorrow.

Treat him well, if you see him. Be polite with him. Ask him no questions. Applaud his teams' victories, commiserate with him over their losses, agree with him about the weather. Give him the respect he feels he is due.
For there are people he no longer visits, the sweeper of dreams, with his hand-rolled cigarettes and his dragon tattoo.

You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. Some of them walk the cities in ragged clothes, their belongings under their arms. Others of their number are locked in the dark, in places where they can no longer harm themselves or others. They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their samity is the lesser of their problems. It is worse than madness. They will tell you, if you let them: they are the ones who live, each day, in the wreckage of their dreams.

And if the sweeper of dreams leaves you, he will never come back."

[Placebo]

I dunno, but my friend had a dream that there was a game show where parents competed to see who could keep the baby in the freezer the longest. :err:

[e1618978]

I once dreamed that I was waking up in a parked VW beetle, while somebody was trying to break into the car. My body was frozen, and I was really trying to get my body to move so I could defend myself from the attacker.

I woke up in real life just as I was punching my wife in the head.

[Splinemodel]

My dreams are usually fantastic if I take some Benadryl or NyQuill. Drugs. . .

I'm what you'd call a visual thinker, so usually my dreams are mostly just vivid images and sounds, rarely any actual dialog. About 50% are third person, and I'm usually aware that I'm dreaming. One particular good one involved being trapped on a space station full of vampires, and I needed some way to take care of the problem. Since I realized that I was dreaming, I was able to apply Matrix-esque techniques to quell the situation. Most of the time, my dreams are far less action-packed.

[e1618978]

Originally posted by Splinemodel
My dreams are usually fantastic if I take some Benadryl or NyQuill. Drugs. . .

I'm what you'd call a visual thinker, so usually my dreams are mostly just vivid images and sounds, rarely any actual dialog. About 50% are third person, and I'm usually aware that I'm dreaming. One particular good one involved being trapped on a space station full of vampires, and I needed some way to take care of the problem. Since I realized that I was dreaming, I was able to apply Matrix-esque techniques to quell the situation. Most of the time, my dreams are far less action-packed.

It sounds like you are a "lucid dreamer" - evidently you can develop the skill into a full blown second life by writing a diary of your dreams every morning.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dreaming

[cubs23]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by midwinter
[B]The question is prompted by my dream last night:

... James Surowiecki would not get open and it was making me very angry.

And then I woke up.


ha ha ha... that is funny. I use to dream about something one night, then the next night, the dream would pick up right where It ended the night before (like an ongoing story)... I thought that was always weird. Anyone else have that happen?

[midwinter]

Originally posted by cubs23
[QUOTE]Originally posted by midwinter
[B]The question is prompted by my dream last night:

... James Surowiecki would not get open and it was making me very angry.

And then I woke up.


ha ha ha... that is funny. I use to dream about something one night, then the next night, the dream would pick up right where It ended the night before (like an ongoing story)... I thought that was always weird. Anyone else have that happen?

That's happened to me before, both over a succession of nights and within one night (i.e. I'll wake up and go "damn! I wanted to finished that dream! Where was I? zzzzzzzzzzzz")

I should also mention that, as a kid, I had a dream that my friend and I were walking along and I would periodically reach over, pluck off a part of his head (which had become kind of like play-doh) and eat it. I kept doing this until I'd eaten him entirely.

Still disturbs me.

[meelash]

I hardly ever remember my dreams...Sigh...

[CosmoNut]

I had a dream once where I wanted to see what it was like to freeze my cat alive. I wrapped him up in a zip-lock bag and put him in. After sufficient freezing time I started feeling bad. I went back to the freezer, opened it up and called his name. I heard a low, dull "Mrrrrrrroooooooooowwwwwwww," and then took him out to defrost.

No kidding.

When I was a kid I'd have this one dream every now and then: In it are all these really small, but deep swimming pools. None were more than 5 or 6 feet on any side, but all of them were at least 10 or 12 feet deep. A park shelter house sat overhead of all of them. A bunch of us would just stand around waiting for some particular thing to happen. I don't remember what, but the group I was in couldn't start our activity until this thing occurred. Meanwhile, this old guy with an old, beat up Ford pickup would also be there outside of the shelter house. I understood him to be the caretaker of the facility. The dream would end with him standing there by his truck and all of us waiting to use the pools.

Any ideas on that one?

[Placebo]

Originally posted by e1618978
It sounds like you are a "lucid dreamer" - evidently you can develop the skill into a full blown second life by writing a diary of your dreams every morning.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dreaming
I think I ask this question for the forum when I say, can it be used for sex?

[dac0nvu]

Originally posted by Placebo
I think I ask this question for the forum when I say, can it be used for sex?
Absolutely! That's when dreaming is the best. Once you realize you're dreaming, you can take control of the dream. ;)

[aplnub]

The dreams are so distrubing I can't even speak of them.

[progmac]

For a while when I was younger I had this dream where I would be digging in the back yard and then we'd strike orange marmalade (like oil, strike). Then the next thing was we would be overlooking this giant pit of orange marmalade and I was thinking, 'wow, we're rich'

[gregmightdothat]

I just realized this morning that I've been having recurring dreams involving Darth Vader. My mom got pissed off when I was going to have dinner with him.

[Splinemodel]

Originally posted by dac0nvu
Absolutely! That's when dreaming is the best. Once you realize you're dreaming, you can take control of the dream. ;)

I actually don't think I've ever had a sex dream, so I can't tell you how much control I'd have granted myself. :smokey:

[Placebo]

You would've been out of control no doubt. :p

[hardeeharhar]

Last night:

Small molecules (or perhaps plants) take over people around me... They behave and look like humans but are actually crystalline...

[midwinter]

Originally posted by hardeeharhar
Last night:

Small molecules (or perhaps plants) take over people around me... They behave and look like humans but are actually crystalline...

Did Michael Crichton write your dream? (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002STNQ2/sr=8-5/qid=1153589591/ref=pd_bbs_5/102-3440949-7188153?ie=UTF8)

[hardeeharhar]

I hope not...

[midwinter]

Originally posted by hardeeharhar
I hope not...

Indeed. If Michael Crichton DID write your dream, there would be some kind of incredible accident, perhaps involving a new kind of printing press, very tall monkeys, and the DNA of a pre-historic plant. LUCKILY, in your dream, the world's foremost expert on printing presses, very tall monkeys, and pre-historic botany would happen to be there and would save the day!

[maimezvous]

A few nights ago I had a very vivid and disturbing dream that involved me chopping my grandparents up into pieces and tossing them in the forest behind my house. I then proceeded to live in their house and pay the bills. I also sold their cars. It was really creepy.

[midwinter]

Originally posted by maimezvous
A few nights ago I had a very vivid and disturbing dream that involved me chopping my grandparents up into pieces and tossing them in the forest behind my house. I then proceeded to live in their house and pay the bills. I also sold their cars. It was really creepy.

Maybe you should call your grandparents just to make sure it was a dream. ;)

[maimezvous]

Originally posted by midwinter
Maybe you should call your grandparents just to make sure it was a dream. ;)

Well, what made it so much more disturbing than anything else is that I live with my grandparents.

[midwinter]

Originally posted by maimezvous
Well, what made it so much more disturbing than anything else is that I live with my grandparents.

Um. Have you checked to make sure you weren't sleep-killing?

[Placebo]

That whole sleepwalking scandal with the sleep medication must be a boon to serial killers who love excuses. :p

[Bergermeister]

This IS my dream.

[Placebo]

My dream is to end poverty. Or cure AIDS, forget which my agent announced for me.

[e1618978]

Originally posted by Placebo
My dream is to end poverty. Or cure AIDS, forget which my agent announced for me.

Mine are:

1. Become Emperor of Mars, change name to "Ming the Merciless".

2. Build space elevator

3. Screw cloned Marylin Monroe

in whichever order works out the best.

[hardeeharhar]

First you build the space elevator.

Then you become emperor Ming the Merciless of Mars.

Then you get to screw a clone of Marilyn Monroe...

[midwinter]

Um. Guys? Check the thread title again.

[e1618978]

Originally posted by midwinter
Um. Guys? Check the thread title again.

I thought it was traditional to move off topic after the first few pages. 8)

[midwinter]

Originally posted by e1618978
I thought it was traditional to move off topic after the first few pages. 8)

No. Those moves are only permissable if the poster references abortion, stem-cell research, the evils of Bill Clinton, the evils of George Bush, or grammar.

;)

[hardeeharhar]

Originally posted by midwinter
No. Those moves are only permissable if the poster references abortion, stem-cell research, the evils of Bill Clinton, the evils of George Bush, or grammar.

;)

I believe you have an extra comma in there, sir.

[midwinter]

Originally posted by hardeeharhar
I believe you have an extra comma in there, sir.

OK, NOW we we are properly off-topic.

[Bergermeister]

This is becoming a recurring dream... er, theme, er, nightmare,;/?!

[gregmightdothat]

Originally posted by Placebo
My dream is to end poverty. Or cure AIDS, forget which my agent announced for me.

That IS a weird dream.

[gregmightdothat]

Originally posted by hardeeharhar
I believe you have an extra comma in there, sir.

Actually, that comma's grammatically correct. While often omitted, it's supposed to be there ;)

[Ichiban_jay]

I had a dream last night where I had magic powers, I could point at things and command stuff like "fix yourself" or "move over there."

I spent the dream rearranging furniture in a room for some reason with my magic powers.... Talk about weird!



For some reason, when I dream I'm always around 10-12 years old, never my actual age. Usually my dreams revolve around playing with my little brother and stuff relating to it, or getting annoyed by my brother because we have to run errands, or a nightmare where my brother and I would be in a creepy dark place trying to find our way out.

It's really strange...

[Placebo]

Originally posted by hardeeharhar
I believe you have an extra comma in there, sir.
Jesus christ, that's the single thing from elementary school grammar that I retained and you just shat all over it.

[hardeeharhar]

Originally posted by Placebo
Jesus christ, that's the single thing from elementary school grammar that I retained and you just shat all over it.

You are far far closer to elementary school than I... so don't worry about it...

[BRussell]

This isn't the weirdest, but it's the most recent - I had it about an hour ago.

Me and da wife were driving around England, and trying to figure out how to drive on the other side of the street. But somehow driving on the other side also turned into driving backwards, and it became this mad dash through England, trying not to hit various Englishmen while driving backward and on the wrong side of the street. Watch out for that double-decker bus! Don't hit that group of self-hating football fans wandering around in the streets! Last thing, our bad driving had gotten the attention of a group of gangsta chavs who were chasing us, but I guess that was too frightening and I woke up.

It would make a great video game.

[MarcUK]

Originally posted by BRussell
This isn't the weirdest, but it's the most recent - I had it about an hour ago.

Me and da wife were driving around England, and trying to figure out how to drive on the other side of the street. But somehow driving on the other side also turned into driving backwards, and it became this mad dash through England, trying not to hit various Englishmen while driving backward and on the wrong side of the street. Watch out for that double-decker bus! Don't hit that group of self-hating football fans wandering around in the streets! Last thing, our bad driving had gotten the attention of a group of gangsta chavs who were chasing us, but I guess that was too frightening and I woke up.

It would make a great video game.

I've analysed your dream, the concensus is that your sexually repressed!

[hardeeharhar]

Originally posted by MarcUK
I've analysed your dream, the concensus is that your sexually repressed!

(and he wants to get rear ended... heheheh)

[BRussell]

And did I forget to mention the earlier part about being in a cigar-shaped canoe entering a cave?

[hardeeharhar]

Sometimes a cigar shaped canoe is just a cigar shaped canoe...

[midwinter]

Dreamed last night

1) That I was delivering a paper at a conference and decided to wing it and then forgot all the important stuff but didn't realize it until later, when people were asking me questions and saying "Wow! Why didn't you include this in your talk?!"

2) That I was tricked into losing my place in a game of Golden Tee so that a crazy woman I went to grad school with could play

3) That I was cleaning large rocks off of the stairwell in my house.

No clue about any other than #1, which makes perfect sense considering what I was doing right before I went to bed.