you're completely f'cked for the next three years probably, but you have two choices here.
if she's at all tolerable, invite the two of them to do things and get to know her. better to be on her good side than her bad side. not sure how things will pan out, but if your friend ends up pussy whipped, at least she'll let him hang out with you if she thinks you're ok.
if she's a bitch, kiss your friend goodbye. had a good friend get married to a total bitch, haven't seen him more than three times now in 5 years, and this is after we used to hang out every day.
Happens to all of us, I guess. I've on both sides of it and it's just something that happens. I've had friends get involved in serious relationships and I'm left in the cold, so to speak.
But I've done the same to others as well, I guess.
Part of life, growing up, etc.
Make the best of it. Hopefully, she's nice and a good person and there's still a place in your friend's life for you?
But he's right: nothing worse than to watch a good friend slowly be p.w.'d into submission and have all the fun and smuttiness zapped out of him by a dame.
Yeah your relationship is gone. And if they break up, you'll have to be the shoulder to whine on for a while if you're wanting to keep this friend around.
I'd say my time w/ my best friend at the time cut down 50-60% when I first started dating my gf of 3 years. Now it's 0% since I'm in Austin now.
Anyway, don't just stop contacting him because after a little bit he'll want someone else to talk to besides the girlfriend. After a while guys get tired of only having the girlfriend as a friend.
The best approach is to not resent your buddy too much, or act hateful to his girlfriend, because both things could end up having negative consequences that will last -- whether he stays with her or breaks up with her.
bros before hoes, is our philosophy.</strong><hr></blockquote>
LOL I like it.
I think we're cool, I just talked to him over the phone and we're gona do something tomorrow. I'm now kind of happy he has this girl because he would be more stupid if he didn't have one. We have been friends since we were two years old so I doubt this thing could seperate us.
[quote] any friend worth having won't dick you over for his girl. if he does, he's a prick anyway so fsck him.
bros before hoes, is our philosophy. <hr></blockquote>
Yeah, and we talk about our penises whenever we can cause we like them so much, all us booyeez and our cocks gainst them hoes . . .and we like guns too, cuse we such bad boyz that don't takes to no hoes separating us: no, we the guyz. In fact they should covuh they stupid faces cause they just seprating us from each other, us band of brothers, us boys bonded together by our penis... they won't 'dick' us around, we won't become stupid 'pricks' **** em all!! **** em with our "pricks" our 'dicks' etcetc
oh how we worship our pricks together cause they threaten to take them away... them "hoes"
(oh yeah . . . and phallocentrism is only an illusion)
--------------------------------------------
but on topic: become friends with both of them and maybe find another friend, a partner of your own (man or woman) and you can still all be friends. Growing older often involves the loss of friends for all sorts of reasons. .. as it involves teh loss of almost everything (if there is one thing you can be certain about aging, its that its all about loss . . that and gaining the knowledge of how to lose things gracefully)
That said, I have to agree with 'cates. For the most part it's something everyone goes through, especially between the ages of 17-24. Those seem to be the years most guys get hooked / pw'd by "the light of their lives." The older guys get (at the time they get involved with someone), generally the less likely they are to stiff their best friends, though they'll certainly do it some in the beginning. "Behold - the power of vagina" as the say (Sorry Wisconsin, nothing trumps the Slippery Tunnel of Love, not even Cheese).
Anyway, the best way to deal with it is to see how your friend treats you over a period of time. For the first three months or so, you can expect standard "she is my life" behavior, but after that I wouldn't stand for it. Give him an ultimatum but not and either/or deal. Just say something like "hey, you know how much time you used to spend with me and how much you spend now...if you want the friendship to last you, better find a way to change things a little" and just leave it at that. Leave the ball in his court (even if his balls are in her hand).
Secondarily I also agree that if the girl happens to be a fun person to hang around, make the best of it. You never know, she could become a friend too and then one day when they break up, you're in like Flynn. Just kidding.
I actually had two different opportunities in my life to hook up with a friends GF after she left him (like some months after, not right away) but I couldn't do it. One guy even knew his ex wanted to date me and told me he wouldn't care, but I knew probably he would lose a little respect for me, so I bagged it. No woman is worth throwing away a good friend. An acquiantance or "buddy" from work, absolutely, but not a good friend.
yes, it's curt. but my point is that we've all sworn never to let any boyfriend/girlfriend break us up. the idea of losing friends for mates being an inevitable part of life is stupid. there are too many cool people in the world to spend life with a boyfriend/girlfriend who separates you from the rest of your friends. i may meet the most amazing guy in the world, even if i thought i could get serious with him, there's no way i would stay with him if he wanted me to stop hanging out with my boys. why would anyone sell out the people who have helped make you who you are, just for one person? the thought is so shallow it makes me queasy.
My close circle of friends has a very important saying that applies here. One of my friends picked it up from some stoner firends of his, but its good none the less.
Comments
if she's at all tolerable, invite the two of them to do things and get to know her. better to be on her good side than her bad side. not sure how things will pan out, but if your friend ends up pussy whipped, at least she'll let him hang out with you if she thinks you're ok.
if she's a bitch, kiss your friend goodbye. had a good friend get married to a total bitch, haven't seen him more than three times now in 5 years, and this is after we used to hang out every day.
best of luck to you.
But I've done the same to others as well, I guess.
Part of life, growing up, etc.
Make the best of it. Hopefully, she's nice and a good person and there's still a place in your friend's life for you?
But he's right: nothing worse than to watch a good friend slowly be p.w.'d into submission and have all the fun and smuttiness zapped out of him by a dame.
I'd say my time w/ my best friend at the time cut down 50-60% when I first started dating my gf of 3 years. Now it's 0% since I'm in Austin now.
Anyway, don't just stop contacting him because after a little bit he'll want someone else to talk to besides the girlfriend. After a while guys get tired of only having the girlfriend as a friend.
bros before hoes, is our philosophy.
<strong>
bros before hoes, is our philosophy.</strong><hr></blockquote>
LOL I like it.
I think we're cool, I just talked to him over the phone and we're gona do something tomorrow. I'm now kind of happy he has this girl because he would be more stupid if he didn't have one. We have been friends since we were two years old so I doubt this thing could seperate us.
bros before hoes, is our philosophy. <hr></blockquote>
Yeah, and we talk about our penises whenever we can cause we like them so much, all us booyeez and our cocks gainst them hoes . . .and we like guns too, cuse we such bad boyz that don't takes to no hoes separating us: no, we the guyz. In fact they should covuh they stupid faces cause they just seprating us from each other, us band of brothers, us boys bonded together by our penis... they won't 'dick' us around, we won't become stupid 'pricks' **** em all!! **** em with our "pricks" our 'dicks' etcetc
oh how we worship our pricks together cause they threaten to take them away... them "hoes"
(oh yeah . . . and phallocentrism is only an illusion)
--------------------------------------------
but on topic: become friends with both of them and maybe find another friend, a partner of your own (man or woman) and you can still all be friends. Growing older often involves the loss of friends for all sorts of reasons. .. as it involves teh loss of almost everything (if there is one thing you can be certain about aging, its that its all about loss . . that and gaining the knowledge of how to lose things gracefully)
<strong>any friend worth having won't dick you over for his girl.
bros before hoes, is our philosophy.</strong><hr></blockquote>
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> That's freakin' hilarious.
That said, I have to agree with 'cates. For the most part it's something everyone goes through, especially between the ages of 17-24. Those seem to be the years most guys get hooked / pw'd by "the light of their lives." The older guys get (at the time they get involved with someone), generally the less likely they are to stiff their best friends, though they'll certainly do it some in the beginning. "Behold - the power of vagina" as the say (Sorry Wisconsin, nothing trumps the Slippery Tunnel of Love, not even Cheese).
Anyway, the best way to deal with it is to see how your friend treats you over a period of time. For the first three months or so, you can expect standard "she is my life" behavior, but after that I wouldn't stand for it. Give him an ultimatum but not and either/or deal. Just say something like "hey, you know how much time you used to spend with me and how much you spend now...if you want the friendship to last you, better find a way to change things a little" and just leave it at that. Leave the ball in his court (even if his balls are in her hand).
Secondarily I also agree that if the girl happens to be a fun person to hang around, make the best of it. You never know, she could become a friend too and then one day when they break up, you're in like Flynn. Just kidding.
I actually had two different opportunities in my life to hook up with a friends GF after she left him (like some months after, not right away) but I couldn't do it. One guy even knew his ex wanted to date me and told me he wouldn't care, but I knew probably he would lose a little respect for me, so I bagged it. No woman is worth throwing away a good friend. An acquiantance or "buddy" from work, absolutely, but not a good friend.
[ 02-19-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ? ]</p>
yes, it's curt. but my point is that we've all sworn never to let any boyfriend/girlfriend break us up. the idea of losing friends for mates being an inevitable part of life is stupid. there are too many cool people in the world to spend life with a boyfriend/girlfriend who separates you from the rest of your friends. i may meet the most amazing guy in the world, even if i thought i could get serious with him, there's no way i would stay with him if he wanted me to stop hanging out with my boys. why would anyone sell out the people who have helped make you who you are, just for one person? the thought is so shallow it makes me queasy.
"Bro's becore Hoe's"