Sorry To The USA

Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
This is for thegelding.



Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television:



On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the

United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well

recently and for that, I am truly sorry.



I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.



He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any

consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the

people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.



I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees

than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and

better than your own.



I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our

excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than

yours.



I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I

notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.



I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer

but, we Feel your Pain.



I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up

against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I

realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against

Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.



And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly

apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a

thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over

this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.



Thank you.



[ 02-28-2003: Message edited by: murbot ]</p>
«1

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 40
    and bush writes in his to do list on his palm (not his palm pilot, he couldn't figure out how to turn that on)...



    attak irak

    attak n.korea

    attak iran

    shooters at TGIF

    attak canada

    break will ferrel's legs





    g





    beer's in your belly so early on a friday mur??



    family away again??







    [ 02-28-2003: Message edited by: thegelding ]</p>
  • Reply 2 of 40
    murbotmurbot Posts: 5,262member
    Nah, work for another 25 minutes. What can I say, it's Friday, and it's slow.



    Being the boss is fun.



  • Reply 3 of 40
    fran441fran441 Posts: 3,715member
    Don't worry murbot. I can confirm there is no American troop build up in NH near our northern border.
  • Reply 4 of 40
    defiantdefiant Posts: 4,876member
    But Fran, what's this?:



  • Reply 5 of 40
    satchmosatchmo Posts: 2,699member
    You gotta love Rick Mercer and the gang. They tell like it is.
  • Reply 6 of 40
    buonrottobuonrotto Posts: 6,368member
    [quote]I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our

    excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than

    yours.<hr></blockquote>



    I'm happy we pay your hockey players all that money because otherwise they'd be honing those skills with brooms and trash cans in elementary school corridors -- after they get out of class, that is!
  • Reply 7 of 40
    eugeneeugene Posts: 8,254member
    [quote]I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.<hr></blockquote>



    The funny thing about this statement is the fact that quite a few members of the US team were Canadian. Brett Hull anyone?



    "Our Canadians are better than your Canadians!" <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[surprised]" />



    "Our crappy beer is better than your crappy beer!"





    <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />



    I've got Speakeasy, Full Sail, Anchor and Lagunitas in my fridge right now.



    [ 02-28-2003: Message edited by: Eugene ]</p>
  • Reply 8 of 40
    Oh, just one more:



    We Americans are sorry we've set such a high standard for the value of currency. We're sorry to invade your country, buy everything for half price and take it back with us. I hear we're even doing it with prescription drugs! (That one really cuts us actually.)
  • Reply 9 of 40
    We Americans would like to say that we're sorry about the Winnipeg Jets and the Quebec Nordiques and we'd also like to preemptively apologize for taking the Oilers, Canucks, and Flames as well sometime during the coming decade or so. But on the bright side, it will be much easier to guess which teams are going to be playing on Hockey Night in Canada in the future.
  • Reply 10 of 40
    buonrottobuonrotto Posts: 6,368member
    Notice how the only thing we can come up with is hockey stuff?
  • Reply 11 of 40
    [quote]Originally posted by BuonRotto:

    <strong>Notice how the only thing we can come up with is hockey stuff? </strong><hr></blockquote>



    ... and currency. Our currency is better
  • Reply 12 of 40
    [quote]Originally posted by BuonRotto:

    <strong>Oh, just one more:



    We Americans are sorry we've set such a high standard for the value of currency. We're sorry to invade your country, buy everything for half price and take it back with us. I hear we're even doing it with prescription drugs! (That one really cuts us actually.) </strong><hr></blockquote>



    By the way thanks for the 6 cents back on the dollar in the last few months. Oh yeah, were not offended by you buying stuff from us, its called 'the economy'. Please buy your drugs or whatever from us (have you tried our weed? its dreamy).



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    by the by, that mercer skit made me $hit in my canadian-manufactured-marketed-purchased-adult-diapers.



    ok, I dont wear diapers, but if I did I would have a clean canadian chesterfield <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 13 of 40
    matsumatsu Posts: 6,558member
    F-ing canadian dollar, at this rate the Mexicans will be laughing at us.



    I still don't understand what the point of free-trade or NAFTA was supposed to be, well actually, I understand them both, which is what cheeses me off about them. If you're going to sell out your countries to the corporate big-wigs to the extent that they can now challenge the legal autonomy of a foreign elected government, you ought to get something in return, like harmonized NA currency. You see, I actually don't mind giving the yankees all the timber and water they want, or gas, or anything else they can pull out of the ground, but I want something in return for it. NAFTA is great for big businesses on either side of the borders, but it doesn't do much for American labourers, or Canadian consumers. I suppose Mexican auto-workers love it, but how long will that last? Harmonized currency could have been better for everyone. Opened up the borders and kept big corporations playing nice, not to mention protected canadian buying power, and American jobs. Oh well...



    Murbot, that's a lot of beer. Cheers -- twists off a cap -- let's watch some hockey!
  • Reply 14 of 40
    It's coming. Give it 5-10 years. Chrétien should be retired by then.



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 15 of 40
    thegeldingthegelding Posts: 3,230member
    i agree with matsu...bring down both borders and make north america one country...that would be cool....lots of room, lots of water, lots of weed.....



    opps...who's laws would this one country take?? i pretty much imagine that since we (the blessed USA) are the 800 lb gorilla of the world that both mexico and canada would have to adopt almost all our laws and such...first course of action...no more mounties...what the hell is that all about??



    one love, one country...like i said before...i think of canadians as our drunk, slow brothers from the north...as for mexico...hell, i live in new mexico...opening that border would do very little to change my life here



    now what would be the language?? english, spanish, french?? a combo of the three...spaengench....nahh, that sounds kinda german....

    frengish....frespanglish....engspanench....??



    g





    i say open those borders now...i am waiting the arrive down south of those famed medicine hat hookers...



    [ 03-01-2003: Message edited by: thegelding ]</p>
  • Reply 16 of 40
    Has Canada gone back to one dollar bills yet or do you still have to use those sorry ass loony coins? That shit is booty wack. You had some nice colorful pretty dollars too.
  • Reply 17 of 40
    [quote]Originally posted by ColanderOfDeath:

    <strong>Has Canada gone back to one dollar bills yet or do you still have to use those sorry ass loony coins? That shit is booty wack. You had some nice colorful pretty dollars too.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    our 1 dollars were boring green. not like the 2, 5, 10, 50, 1000
  • Reply 18 of 40
    adpowersadpowers Posts: 188member
    We could all speak Esperanto.
  • Reply 19 of 40
    agent302agent302 Posts: 974member
    [quote]Originally posted by ColanderOfDeath:

    <strong>Has Canada gone back to one dollar bills yet or do you still have to use those sorry ass loony coins? That shit is booty wack. You had some nice colorful pretty dollars too.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    You know, the U.S. is like the only country with $1 bills. Even those crazy Yurropeans have coins for 1 and 2!
  • Reply 20 of 40
    kraig911kraig911 Posts: 912member
    god canadian beer sucks...
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