Sorry To The USA
This is for thegelding.
Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television:
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.
He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the
people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees
than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and
better than your own.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I
notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer
but, we Feel your Pain.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up
against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I
realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against
Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over
this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Thank you.
[ 02-28-2003: Message edited by: murbot ]</p>
Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television:
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.
He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the
people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees
than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and
better than your own.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I
notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer
but, we Feel your Pain.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up
against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I
realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against
Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over
this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Thank you.
[ 02-28-2003: Message edited by: murbot ]</p>
Comments
attak irak
attak n.korea
attak iran
shooters at TGIF
attak canada
break will ferrel's legs
g
beer's in your belly so early on a friday mur??
family away again??
[ 02-28-2003: Message edited by: thegelding ]</p>
Being the boss is fun.
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.<hr></blockquote>
I'm happy we pay your hockey players all that money because otherwise they'd be honing those skills with brooms and trash cans in elementary school corridors -- after they get out of class, that is!
The funny thing about this statement is the fact that quite a few members of the US team were Canadian. Brett Hull anyone?
"Our Canadians are better than your Canadians!" <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[surprised]" />
"Our crappy beer is better than your crappy beer!"
<img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
I've got Speakeasy, Full Sail, Anchor and Lagunitas in my fridge right now.
[ 02-28-2003: Message edited by: Eugene ]</p>
We Americans are sorry we've set such a high standard for the value of currency. We're sorry to invade your country, buy everything for half price and take it back with us. I hear we're even doing it with prescription drugs! (That one really cuts us actually.)
<strong>Notice how the only thing we can come up with is hockey stuff? </strong><hr></blockquote>
... and currency. Our currency is better
<strong>Oh, just one more:
We Americans are sorry we've set such a high standard for the value of currency. We're sorry to invade your country, buy everything for half price and take it back with us. I hear we're even doing it with prescription drugs! (That one really cuts us actually.) </strong><hr></blockquote>
By the way thanks for the 6 cents back on the dollar in the last few months. Oh yeah, were not offended by you buying stuff from us, its called 'the economy'. Please buy your drugs or whatever from us (have you tried our weed? its dreamy).
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
by the by, that mercer skit made me $hit in my canadian-manufactured-marketed-purchased-adult-diapers.
ok, I dont wear diapers, but if I did I would have a clean canadian chesterfield <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
I still don't understand what the point of free-trade or NAFTA was supposed to be, well actually, I understand them both, which is what cheeses me off about them. If you're going to sell out your countries to the corporate big-wigs to the extent that they can now challenge the legal autonomy of a foreign elected government, you ought to get something in return, like harmonized NA currency. You see, I actually don't mind giving the yankees all the timber and water they want, or gas, or anything else they can pull out of the ground, but I want something in return for it. NAFTA is great for big businesses on either side of the borders, but it doesn't do much for American labourers, or Canadian consumers. I suppose Mexican auto-workers love it, but how long will that last? Harmonized currency could have been better for everyone. Opened up the borders and kept big corporations playing nice, not to mention protected canadian buying power, and American jobs. Oh well...
Murbot, that's a lot of beer. Cheers -- twists off a cap -- let's watch some hockey!
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
opps...who's laws would this one country take?? i pretty much imagine that since we (the blessed USA) are the 800 lb gorilla of the world that both mexico and canada would have to adopt almost all our laws and such...first course of action...no more mounties...what the hell is that all about??
one love, one country...like i said before...i think of canadians as our drunk, slow brothers from the north...as for mexico...hell, i live in new mexico...opening that border would do very little to change my life here
now what would be the language?? english, spanish, french?? a combo of the three...spaengench....nahh, that sounds kinda german....
frengish....frespanglish....engspanench....??
g
i say open those borders now...i am waiting the arrive down south of those famed medicine hat hookers...
[ 03-01-2003: Message edited by: thegelding ]</p>
<strong>Has Canada gone back to one dollar bills yet or do you still have to use those sorry ass loony coins? That shit is booty wack. You had some nice colorful pretty dollars too.</strong><hr></blockquote>
our 1 dollars were boring green. not like the 2, 5, 10, 50, 1000
<strong>Has Canada gone back to one dollar bills yet or do you still have to use those sorry ass loony coins? That shit is booty wack. You had some nice colorful pretty dollars too.</strong><hr></blockquote>
You know, the U.S. is like the only country with $1 bills. Even those crazy Yurropeans have coins for 1 and 2!