funniest thread ever

Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
i just got this link to another board from a co-worker. i have not stopped laughing since i read it regarding some graphics off a government site. my god make it stop.



<a href="http://board.crewcial.org/t.php?id=16330&r=57"; target="_blank">board.crewcial.org</a>



here are some of my favs with captions provided by the other board's members...









if you ever grow to be 60 feet tall, go here for the antidote.









In the event of an emergency your filing cabinets will become intimidating. Do not file or organize for they are tall and angry.









juke that bitch out, just cuz.

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 17
    That was wonderful. Thank you.



    Cheers,

    Dan
  • Reply 2 of 17
    gspottergspotter Posts: 342member
    Just found this on our intranet today:



    Some genuine translations from around the world ...



    Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

    GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.



    Hotel notice, Tokyo:

    IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO

    SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTIS.



    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

    OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.



    In a Tokyo bar:

    SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.



    In a Bangkok temple:

    IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.



    Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:

    PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM



    Hotel brochure,Italy:

    THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL

    OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.



    Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

    THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT

    YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.



    In a Leipzig lift:

    DO NOT ENTER THE LIFT BACKWARDS, AND ONLY WHEN LIT UP.



    Hotel elevator, Belgrade:

    TO MOVE THE CABIN, PUSH BUTTON FOR WISHING FLOOR. IF THE CABIN SHOULD ENTER

    MORE PERSONS, EACH ONE SHOULD PRESS A NUMBER OF WISHING FLOOR. DRIVING IS

    THEN GOING ALPHABETICALLY BY NATIONAL ORDER.



    Hotel lift, Paris:

    PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.



    Hotel, Athens:

    VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9 AND

    11 AM DAILY.



    Hotel, Yugoslavia:

    THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.



    Hotel, Japan:

    YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.



    Sign in Japanese public bath:

    FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.



    Sign in men's toilet in Japan:

    TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.



    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET

    COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.



    Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:

    NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF

    ASCENSION.



    Taken from a menu, Poland:

    SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE

    FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN UP IN THE

    COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.



    Supermarket, Hong Kong:

    FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.



    Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:

    DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.



    Outside a dress shop, Paris:

    DRESSES FOR STREET WALKING.



    Outside a dress shop, Hong Kong:

    LADIES HAVE FITS UPSTAIRS.



    Tailor shop, Rhodes:

    ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT.BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH, WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN

    STRICT ROTATION.



    In an East African newspaper:

    A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE

    THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.



    Hotel, Vienna:

    IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.



    A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

    IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF

    DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS

    THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.



    Hotel, Zurich:

    BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE

    BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.



    An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

    TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.



    From a Russian book on Chess:

    A LOT OF WATER HAS BEEN PASSED UNDER THE BRIDGE SINCE THIS VARIATION HAS

    BEEN PLAYED.



    A laundry in Rome:

    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.



    Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

    TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.



    Advert for donkey rides, Thailand:

    WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?



    In the window on a Swedish furrier:

    FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.



    The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

    GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.



    Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:

    STOP. DRIVE SIDEWAYS.



    In a Swiss mountain inn:

    SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.



    Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.



    On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

    IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.



    Cocktail lounge, Norway:

    LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.



    At a Budapest zoo:

    PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO

    THE GUARD ON DUTY.



    Doctor's office, Rome:

    SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.



    Hotel, Acapulco:

    THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.



    Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND

    HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL

    YOURSELF.



    Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

    WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM

    MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM

    WITH VIGOR.
  • Reply 3 of 17
    thegeldingthegelding Posts: 3,230member
    i thought maybe you were linking to <a href="http://forums.appleinsider.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=11&t=000283"; target="_blank">this thread....</a>



    sigh, i miss belle...she was a wonderful trouble maker....hope you are healthy and happy and exploring a life outside of AI....i gotta try that some day... <img src="embarrassed.gif" border="0">



    g
  • Reply 4 of 17
    artman @_@artman @_@ Posts: 2,546member
    Thot this was funny...







    From the cheeky folks at <a href="http://www.b3ta.com"; target="_blank">B3TA.COM</a>
  • Reply 5 of 17
    [quote]Originally posted by thegelding:

    <strong><a href="http://forums.appleinsider.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=11&t=000283"; target="_blank">this thread....</a>



    </strong><hr></blockquote>



    that's just ... wrong.



    (Belle's gone? Oh.)
  • Reply 6 of 17


    Do not let your bridge float over telephone poles or billboards.
  • Reply 7 of 17
    or how about this one...







    Radiation is red, and round. If you see a fat person wearing red, they may be a terrorist.



    or...







    Texas is the Reason... that America's Fvcked.





    just caught this ona as well...









    Masturbation will make you go blind



    [ 03-06-2003: Message edited by: running with scissors ]</p>
  • Reply 8 of 17
    xterra48xterra48 Posts: 169member
    once on a list of banned cary-on items at the airport i saw "No toy transformer robots" no joke.
  • Reply 9 of 17
    curiousuburbcuriousuburb Posts: 3,325member




    Lady Macbeth can't get damn spots out.
  • Reply 10 of 17
    mrbilldatamrbilldata Posts: 489member
    Some of my fellow workers were in the breakroom today when the radio announcer started the news talking about some power outages that were due to "A local transformer being blown and it was starting to smoke"...blah blah blah



    We all looked up and almost in unison said "It probably had a smile on its face too".



    Life is funny that way some times, just when you least expect it.



    [ 03-06-2003: Message edited by: MrBillData ]</p>
  • Reply 11 of 17
    scottscott Posts: 7,431member
    He he he





    It was getting ready to snow here this week and one of the women at work said, joking, her husband called to say she was getting 6 to 10 inches tonight. Another woman retorted, "Who's he inviting over."



    [ 03-06-2003: Message edited by: Scott ]</p>
  • Reply 12 of 17
    pfflampfflam Posts: 5,053member
    <a href="http://www.engrish.com/"; target="_blank">Good language taday so beautifully full of fun. You funny</a>
  • Reply 13 of 17
    fellowshipfellowship Posts: 5,038member
    [quote]Originally posted by pfflam:

    <strong><a href="http://www.engrish.com/"; target="_blank">Good language taday so beautifully full of fun. You funny</a></strong><hr></blockquote>



    Grate site flamn



    This is funny:







    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 14 of 17
    gspottergspotter Posts: 342member
    [quote]Originally posted by FellowshipChurch iBook:

    <strong>Grate site flamn </strong><hr></blockquote>



    There's <a href="http://www.swr3.de/dialoge/"; target="_blank">a german site with lots of hilarious error messages</a>. One of my favorites is this one



    Translation: This program can not be executed on this computer.

    - Feature Internet Config

    - Computer not present

    - required Minimum required



    [ 03-09-2003: Message edited by: GSpotter ]</p>
  • Reply 15 of 17
    curiousuburbcuriousuburb Posts: 3,325member
    the original link in this thread board.crewcial.org is now requiring login



    anybody got uid/pw?

    anyone archive it before it disappeared?





    and on the humourous error message theme



    <a href="http://forums.appleinsider.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=6&t=002924"; target="_blank">the 'error message haiku' thread... contribute</a>
  • Reply 16 of 17
    the "how often do you poo" thread was pretty funny as well. unfortunately, the powers that be killed it when they changed the posting guidelines. but i'm not bitter.
  • Reply 17 of 17
    moogsmoogs Posts: 4,296member
    Nah. Really the poo thread wasn't that funny. But it's good that you're not bitter. We'd worry about you otherwise.





    Personally I liked the 60' tall man sign. Very informative.
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