What do you think the first 60 seconds of the keynote will be? (minus clapping clapping and more clapping) I have a feeling its going to be something that send chills up everyone's spines
<strong>What do you think the first 60 seconds of the keynote will be? (minus clapping clapping and more clapping) I have a feeling its going to be something that send chills up everyone's spines </strong><hr></blockquote>
He'll probably be so bold as to smoke a joint, knowing that he "owns the place".
Spot light hits center stage...empty...smoke effects creep over the stage...spot light dims slightly...then...as if by magic, Steve's head starts to rise from the smoke until he is revealed in all his acid-tripping glory!! Yep, he'll use a riser underneath the stage and "pop up" - that's what I said. You heard it here first sports fans.
I think there will be deadly silence when he takes the stage. Nobody will breathe. The expectation will be unbearable.
Then Steve will walk on stage with a sheepish look on his face. "Hello everyone.. Welcome to Macworld. And now, we have some new iCards that will blow you away! The rumour sites never told you about these, did they?".
Suddenly a giant rotten tomato the size of a house buries Steve, and the rioting begins...
he'll walk out, and stand in the middle of the stage. Then he puts his hands together right under his nose. "Thanks for coming today, we have a lot to cover so let's get started."
Maybe he should take a cue from the other Steve. No, not Woz...Ballmer.
He'll come out jumping around to some Gloria Estafan, sweaty pits a steaming and scaring small children. Yelling how much he loves us. Come to think of it, he probably planned to do it that way first, but one of the MS spys told Ballmer about it and thus we now have Dancing Monkeyboy Ballmer instead of Dancing Monkyboy Jobs. Dang those MS guys. They really get all the credit don't they?
Or perhaps it was a rouse. Like, disinformation to throw em off, you know?
Or maybe he'll just walk out slowly, as always, waving his little slide projector remote around, while talking about the iStuff and Sales numbers. Throw in a long and boring OS X demo, for consistency's sake, and you've got a Macworld intro.
Better yet, perhaps he'll be shot onto the stage from a huge clear plastic cannon (fired by a giggling phil schiller) at the back of the conference hall. While he's flying through the air he'll do exactly 1000 flips before barely making it through the spindle hole in a giant burning CD. When he lands (hopefully on his feet), he'll say "Tada! There you have it 1000 Gigaflops! Try our new Apple iCannons at our exhibit on the main floor. It'll blow you away!".
As he walks off stage, Apple reps jam PCs and other fodder into the cannon and begin firing it into the crowd. Screams ensue and you'll just have to wait to try one for yourself.
[quote]What do you think the first 60 seconds of the keynote will be? I have a feeling its going to be something that send chills up everyone's spines<hr></blockquote>
Steve "Howling" Ballmer takes the stage: All your fruit are belong to us, mouahahah !!!
Nah they should make it like a highschool pep rally. Have a big poster of the Dell Kid and that stupid Gateway cow and let Jobs, Schiller, etc. break through the poster wearing Apple Jerseys. Have cheerleaders the whole deal.
One day after P.E. my whole class (girls only ofcourse)were in the locker room changeing and showering and i was at my locker and just as i was pulling down my underware i let out a loud one that went BRRRRP and it stunk like rotten eggs and i didnt realize that this girl kim was sittin on the bench right next to my bare butt so i did it just about in her face,she jumped up and screamed WHATS WRONG WITH YOU THAT WAS DISCUSTING! And i felt so embarresed and people were going EWWWWWW GROSS and stuff like that and the girl doesn't talk to me anymore. Now i try harder to hold it in,especialy when i have my period because they reallstink bad.
One day after P.E. my whole class (girls only ofcourse)were in the locker room changeing and showering and i was at my locker and just as i was pulling down my underware i let out a loud one that went BRRRRP and it stunk like rotten eggs and i didnt realize that this girl kim was sittin on the bench right next to my bare butt so i did it just about in her face,she jumped up and screamed WHATS WRONG WITH YOU THAT WAS DISCUSTING! And i felt so embarresed and people were going EWWWWWW GROSS and stuff like that and the girl doesn't talk to me anymore. Now i try harder to hold it in,especialy when i have my period because they reallstink bad.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Comments
<strong>What do you think the first 60 seconds of the keynote will be? (minus clapping clapping and more clapping) I have a feeling its going to be something that send chills up everyone's spines
He'll probably be so bold as to smoke a joint, knowing that he "owns the place".
:eek:
[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ? ]</p>
Then Steve will walk on stage with a sheepish look on his face. "Hello everyone.. Welcome to Macworld. And now, we have some new iCards that will blow you away! The rumour sites never told you about these, did they?".
Suddenly a giant rotten tomato the size of a house buries Steve, and the rioting begins...
-robo
<img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
<strong>He'll come gliding out on his new Apple endorsed Segway HT.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Exactly.
He'll come out jumping around to some Gloria Estafan, sweaty pits a steaming and scaring small children. Yelling how much he loves us. Come to think of it, he probably planned to do it that way first, but one of the MS spys told Ballmer about it and thus we now have Dancing Monkeyboy Ballmer instead of Dancing Monkyboy Jobs. Dang those MS guys. They really get all the credit don't they?
Or perhaps it was a rouse. Like, disinformation to throw em off, you know?
Or maybe he'll just walk out slowly, as always, waving his little slide projector remote around, while talking about the iStuff and Sales numbers. Throw in a long and boring OS X demo, for consistency's sake, and you've got a Macworld intro.
Better yet, perhaps he'll be shot onto the stage from a huge clear plastic cannon (fired by a giggling phil schiller) at the back of the conference hall. While he's flying through the air he'll do exactly 1000 flips before barely making it through the spindle hole in a giant burning CD. When he lands (hopefully on his feet), he'll say "Tada! There you have it 1000 Gigaflops! Try our new Apple iCannons at our exhibit on the main floor. It'll blow you away!".
As he walks off stage, Apple reps jam PCs and other fodder into the cannon and begin firing it into the crowd. Screams ensue and you'll just have to wait to try one for yourself.
Steve "Howling" Ballmer takes the stage: All your fruit are belong to us, mouahahah !!!
<strong>He will get a piggy back ride from Schiller all the way out to center stage.
hahahahah LOL!!
That would be classic!
[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: imacSE ]</p>
One day after P.E. my whole class (girls only ofcourse)were in the locker room changeing and showering and i was at my locker and just as i was pulling down my underware i let out a loud one that went BRRRRP and it stunk like rotten eggs and i didnt realize that this girl kim was sittin on the bench right next to my bare butt so i did it just about in her face,she jumped up and screamed WHATS WRONG WITH YOU THAT WAS DISCUSTING! And i felt so embarresed and people were going EWWWWWW GROSS and stuff like that and the girl doesn't talk to me anymore. Now i try harder to hold it in,especialy when i have my period because they reallstink bad.
<strong>He'll come out and tell a fart joke.
One day after P.E. my whole class (girls only ofcourse)were in the locker room changeing and showering and i was at my locker and just as i was pulling down my underware i let out a loud one that went BRRRRP and it stunk like rotten eggs and i didnt realize that this girl kim was sittin on the bench right next to my bare butt so i did it just about in her face,she jumped up and screamed WHATS WRONG WITH YOU THAT WAS DISCUSTING! And i felt so embarresed and people were going EWWWWWW GROSS and stuff like that and the girl doesn't talk to me anymore. Now i try harder to hold it in,especialy when i have my period because they reallstink bad.</strong><hr></blockquote>
I'm pretty sure I did not need to know that.
Steve will say, "Let's see what Steve-o Claus is bringing all the good little Maccies this year!"
Shiller and Rubenstein, dressed as elves will help Steve-o Claus open and unwrap all of the new hardware.
Then, just before he leaves, he'll look in the cart, and say, "Ooops, we missed one!"
He'll reach in, and pull out then newest member of the Apple line-up, the [removed by Apple Legal Goon Squad].
SdC
[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: suckfuldotcom ]</p>