InactionMan VS Raccoon. ...Raccoon Wins.
Damn raccoon has decided that I have the tastiest garbage in town. I've got a wood garage that he bored a hole through and now feasts nightly on the remnants of my Kraft Dinner and coffee grinds.
I've tried throwing ammonia soaked rags in the garbage can, I've tried using bungie cords, I even strung the garbage can to the rafters of the garage. Nothing. Every morning I wake and feel the shame of losing to a giant rodent.
Last night I heard the little bugger in there again and decided to confront him to ask him why he thought my garbage was so much tastier than everyone else's. So I stood in wait with a flashlight in one hand and my left hiking boot in the other. The flashlight was off because well the element of surprise and stuff, when I turned it on the raccoon was sitting five feet in front of me staring me down.
Needless to say, I screamed, dropped both the boot and the flashlight and ran inside to the womb-like comfort of AppleInsider. But AI isn't enough this time, I need to rid myself of this problem.
So, how the hell do I defeat this beast?
He's in there right now. I can hear him.........quietly laughing at me.
I've tried throwing ammonia soaked rags in the garbage can, I've tried using bungie cords, I even strung the garbage can to the rafters of the garage. Nothing. Every morning I wake and feel the shame of losing to a giant rodent.
Last night I heard the little bugger in there again and decided to confront him to ask him why he thought my garbage was so much tastier than everyone else's. So I stood in wait with a flashlight in one hand and my left hiking boot in the other. The flashlight was off because well the element of surprise and stuff, when I turned it on the raccoon was sitting five feet in front of me staring me down.
Needless to say, I screamed, dropped both the boot and the flashlight and ran inside to the womb-like comfort of AppleInsider. But AI isn't enough this time, I need to rid myself of this problem.
So, how the hell do I defeat this beast?
He's in there right now. I can hear him.........quietly laughing at me.
Comments
Originally posted by InactionMan
Damn raccoon has decided that I have the tastiest garbage in town. I've got a wood garage that he bored a hole through and now feasts nightly on the remnants of my Kraft Dinner and coffee grinds.
I've tried throwing ammonia soaked rags in the garbage can, I've tried using bungie cords, I even strung the garbage can to the rafters of the garage. Nothing. Every morning I wake and feel the shame of losing to a giant rodent.
Last night I heard the little bugger in there again and decided to confront him to ask him why he thought my garbage was so much tastier than everyone else's. So I stood in wait with a flashlight in one hand and my left hiking boot in the other. The flashlight was off because well the element of surprise and stuff, when I turned it on the raccoon was sitting five feet in front of me staring me down.
So, how the hell do I defeat this beast?
He's in there right now. I can hear him.........quietly laughing at me.
We had a racoon come into our backyard and my brother had to beat it off with some golf clubs. Do you have a BB gun. That's what I armed myself with, but never got the chance to shoot the bugger because once my dad put up a fence he never came back.
Originally posted by Argento
But if you want to listen to all those PEDA people...
They'd probably tell ya that feeding garbage to a racoon is inhumane and constitutes animal cruelty, and you should be thrown in jail. Because of that, I wouldn't listen to any PETA people.
Originally posted by LiquidR
Has the UN banned the use of Napalm against racoons?
No, but I think bunge and PETA have. Just kidding, bunge.
Originally posted by InactionMan
So, how the hell do I defeat this beast?
Posion or a gun.
Racoons, although they have cute hands and a neat mask, are vile creatures which spread rabies - don't shed a tear.
I recommend a gun. Kraft Dinner? You are Canadian?
Canada has more guns than trees. Shoot the son of a bitch and move on.
Originally posted by InactionMan
I've tried throwing ammonia soaked rags in the garbage can, I've tried using bungie cords, I even strung the garbage can to the rafters of the garage. Nothing. Every morning I wake and feel the shame of losing to a giant rodent.
If it helps ease your shame, you haven't been bested by a mere rodent. Raccoons are members not of the order Rodentia, but of the order Carnivora. Yes, you can hold your head high and say that your latest can of whoop-ass has been delivered to you by a fearsome carnivore!
Poison sounds good, but not kill-him-poison. Perhaps poison that makes him feel a bit quesey. What do I use? Rat poison? That probably wouldn't kill him because as far as I know Raccoons can puke so the wouldn't dehydrate the way rats would.
And indeed I am Canadian and like all good canucks I eat KD atleast twice a week.
If nothing else works I will have to napalm his ass.
Originally posted by running with scissors
buy some bear or wolf urine, and pour it on your garbage and or around your garage. should scare the living shit out of the little bastard.
The hard part will be getting the bear to stand still while you hold the jar.
I bought a bigger less-tippable garbage can - a big strong plastic one on wheels - with a lockable lid and put it in a spot where it was hard for him to jump down on it. That worked. I suppose that there might still be a way for the critter to get into it, but it would be pretty hard. In any case, making it much harder is all I really need: with all the bother to get into our garbage, the racoon just moves on and gets at the garbage of a neighbour.
Originally posted by groverat
Fantastic first post.
I recommend a gun. Kraft Dinner? You are Canadian?
Canada has more guns than trees. Shoot the son of a bitch and move on.
More guns per capita than the US and yet less gun deaths per capita than the US. Gee, maybe the problem is societal and less about the shiny metal death stick.
Originally posted by BR
More guns per capita than the US and yet less gun deaths per capita than the US. Gee, maybe the problem is societal and less about the shiny metal death stick.
This statistic, often quoted, is misleading. Most guns in Canada are hunting rifles. And even ownership of these, while common - especially in rural areas - is still subject to controls. What Canada does not have, for all intents and purposes, is general private ownership of handguns. These shiny metal 'mini' death sticks are the big problem.
Originally posted by InactionMan
Needless to say, I screamed, dropped both the boot and the flashlight and ran inside to the womb-like comfort of AppleInsider.
Sorry, but that was too much! Based on your location "the big smoke", you must also be from Toronto. I know the feeling, I've met some myself.
Yeah, we city folk are a bunch of yellow belly cowards when it comes to wildlife!