How do you and spouse set up bank account
With the divorce rate being so high, I'm wondering how couples today cope with money issues and joint bank accounts. Not asking about pre-nups although it may apply as well.
So, do you share your income with your spouse. Is what is yours, hers and vice versa? Do you each contribute to a joint account to pay bills with?
*Waits for Trumpetman to reply*
So, do you share your income with your spouse. Is what is yours, hers and vice versa? Do you each contribute to a joint account to pay bills with?
*Waits for Trumpetman to reply*
Comments
Assuming you trust your partner fully and have open communication, there should be no issues over money. Issues arise when one (or both) have difficulty controlling spending. Hiding assets from your spouse does not help with regards to maintaining a healthy relationship. Most 'big spender' problems can be controlled by budgeting week to week or month to month where both can see the balances in savings/checking accounts.
I saw a huge red flag a few years ago when I dated a woman who stated that she had to have her own savings account under her maiden name because she was afraid of divorce. Not only did I earn more than her and had more in savings, I read her statement as 'I don't trust you'.
To me 'Trust' is the operative word. If one person can't trust another enough to share their earnings and assets, then maybe they are not ready for marriage.
--Mark
Originally posted by satchmo
With the divorce rate being so high, I'm wondering how couples today cope with money issues and joint bank accounts. Not asking about pre-nups although it may apply as well.
So, do you share your income with your spouse. Is what is yours, hers and vice versa? Do you each contribute to a joint account to pay bills with?
*Waits for Trumpetman to reply*
one account, it all goes into one account
I mean really, if one runs out of money one month, is the other going to go out alone for supper? Not let her/him buy something they want? Sounds a little silly to me.
I know in an ideal world, trust, understanding and compromise would rule, but what happens when you want a big screen LCD display and she wants to re-do the kitchen?
Originally posted by satchmo
What happens when you want a big screen LCD display and she wants to re-do the kitchen?
We *comprimise* which means either I get the TV and sleep on the couch or she gets the kitchen and I get lots of *CENSORED*.
Originally posted by satchmo
With the divorce rate being so high, I'm wondering how couples today cope with money issues and joint bank accounts. Not asking about pre-nups although it may apply as well.
So, do you share your income with your spouse. Is what is yours, hers and vice versa? Do you each contribute to a joint account to pay bills with?
*Waits for Trumpetman to reply*
You mean my wife is supposed to share my income with me? She assured me it was all her's.
When I got married 8 years ago, we eloped to Vegas. She asked ME to marry her! We have and always will hold everything jointly. Although we currently live on my salary the money is considered ours.
We are both pretty frugal and that helps with a lot of things. She also hates clutter and so she doesn't go shopping too often for what I would call "junk."
We have two checking accounts but not to seperate our finances. Rather it is to keep our finances seperate from the rentals. Either way she balances both of them and pays all the bills both personal and business related. I do all the research, planning and people business.
Originally posted by satchmo
So for those who have one account, does this ever present any problems when one wants to buy a large ticket item that the other doesn't?
I know in an ideal world, trust, understanding and compromise would rule, but what happens when you want a big screen LCD display and she wants to re-do the kitchen?
That's a good question. I guess my wife and I do pretty well at this. When we moved to our new house, she had three demands. New/more kitchen cabinets, french doors, and a new banister for the stairs. However she chipped in with the labor too and helped save us money there.
She can usually tell when I want something because print outs will appear when I am researching it. This tips her off and she gets her 2 cents in which often heavily influences my opinion. I think I do the same in reverse. We often talk about numbers first and then find solutions that fit the numbers.
Nick
We had one joint account. Right after we got married she was put on. I don't think there was a big discussion about it either. Then my wife's work would only direct deposit to one bank in Chicago. So we got two, her's and ours. From then on her agreed upon allowance stayed in her account and the rest was moved into the joint one. Now that we make a lot more money we don't worry so much. Also her work will split her check between multiple banks so it's all automagical now. Stuff that she "should" pay for gets paid out of the joint account and it doesn't matter.
Due to some ... trouble ... I manage the money month to month. Plan the bigger spending, pay all the bill. We talk about that a lot though so it's not like I'm the control freak of the account.
I'm dead set against separate accounts though. I think couples that keep things separate and split up who pays for what are odd. What happens if one gets laid off and can't pay? Are they going to feel like a loser because the other spouse has to pay the mortgage now? I think it is hedging bets against divorce and that's not a great way to build on the relationship.
Separate personal accounts for our individual bills (credit cards, cell phones, etc).
It' s worked great for 8 years.
Cheers
Scott
Originally posted by Scott
... but what's your opinion on separate accounts?
You asking me?
Cheers
Scott
Originally posted by Scott
... yea.
I generally tend to think it's a little odd. That is, it's awfully roommate-ish. But my real problem with it is that it just makes things more complicated. Splitting utility bills, dinner bills, rent, and whatnot is a pain in the ass.
I mean, my wife and I know how much it'll take from both of us to cover our *joint* bills (mortgage, utilities, etc). We split that in half and each deposit our half into our joint account. What's left over is our own individual money, and we can buy whatever we want without having to ask permission or anything, since all of our bills are already covered.
I think our system is a nice compromise between the two extremes (individual accounts vs. all in one), since it removes any issues of having to ask for permission from the spouse. My wife likes jewelry. I like computers and guitars. We both routinely tell one another "Buy whatever you want. It's your money."
I'm told fairly often that what we do is just flat-out strange. Makes sense to us, though.
Cheers
Scott
Originally posted by Scott
Sounds like what we do. You're not alone
Actually, that JUST happened to us, except it was the other way around. Here's the story: My wife accepted a job at a new university. At around the same time, I graduated with my PhD, and shortly before, interviewed for a job at the same university, and eventually accepted an offer from them (sorry for this awful sentence). Here's where things get awfully fun:
My wife was paid on a 12-month scale, which meant that in between giving up her old job in May and taking the new job in August, she was paid. When I graduated, I was unemployed. For three months, until my new paychecks kicked in.
She had to float me.
I'm telling you, once you get over the feelings of helplessness and inadequacy, being a kept man isn't all that bad.
Cheers
Scott
N1(k <--- Look I'm practicing an alternative lifestyle now too.