Honestly, what is hard or time consuming about opening System Preferences? That is probably the easiest way to start/stop Apache that I've yet seen.
Write a bash script (type text into a plain text document with Textedit and then 'chmod +x' it to make it executable) and simply execute that whenever you want Apache to start stop.
Comments
apachectl -k start
apachectl -k stop
apachectl -k graceful
The last one is the best way to quickly stop and restart apache. I'm sure you could write an applescript to send those to the command line.
Write a bash script (type text into a plain text document with Textedit and then 'chmod +x' it to make it executable) and simply execute that whenever you want Apache to start stop.