Are you one of "those people" LiquidR? What's your story here?
Nope. I just heard about it on NPR and thought it would be a nice departure from all the venom and vitriol on AO. Plus, I thought it could excercise everyone's wit on something fun rather than zingers.
Words unfortunately are not my stock and trade. I've been trying to come up with something to my satifaction but no luck so far.
But it has been a pleasure to see what the rest of you have been doing with it.
These people are completely batty. Just recapping:
Arms akimbo and looking askance
You ask "Why adopt such a stance?"
Hands on hips, elbows out,
My expression of doubt
Is because you are wearing no pants.
I received this workshop comment from Richard English (do you think that's a pseudonym? ):
Quote:
I like it - but I find L5 unclear. It implies that the observer is sans cullot and, if this is the case, then why would one in such a state challenge one standing akimbo? The image is, I agree. a delcious one, though.
I'm glad you asked Dick.
My response to Dick's searching question:
Quote:
I figured there were two possible interpretations by the reader:
1. The observer is unaware of their pantslessness - L2 translates as "why are you giving me that funny look?"
2. The observer is consciously and unashamedly pantsless - L2 translates as "yeah so I'm not wearing any pants, what of it?"
I'm a frickin' undiscovered genius, I am. I expect that my brilliance won't be fully appreciated until several hundred years after my death. Better late than never I guess.....
I feel like I'm here all by myself. It's quite nice actually. The rest of you should fuck off more often. Give me a bit of peace and quiet. Too bad it's cyberspace. Otherwise I could have a poke through your personal stuff while you're out. Find out what you're hiding from me.
I could breach a few guidelines while nobody's looking. Go through the joint leaving a trail of scathing ad hominem's behind me, start threads in PO with titles like "George Bush takes it up the arse for money", make a few scandalous allegations about Amorph's sex life, the mind boggles. Could be fun. Sit back and watch the ensuing fracas - "Oh my god, chester's gone ape shit."
Of course, the only problem is I'd get caught. Then the official PM would arrive. Bad chester, naughty chester, chester banned. Reckon I'd get life? Guess so. Still there'd be that satisfying feeling from going down in a blaze of glory. Get a few things off my chest in the process. Gotta admit it's tempting. Then again it'd be my luck to have a mod show up when I was just getting started; end up with nothing more than a lousy 2 day banning and a lecture from Powerdoc about how disappointed he is in me.
Sigh. So much for that idea. I'll sing a song instead. Round of applause please ladies and germs.
Thanks maestro. <Cue music> Folks this is a song my daddy used to sing me to sleep with when I was just a little girl. I like to sing it whenever I'm feeling low or life's getting me down. It always lifts my spirits and puts a smile back on my face. It's a special little song. I hope you like it and it makes you smile too. <Fade up music>
<Start crooning>
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
<Take hand of woman in front row>
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
<Walk along front row smiling>
Have faith in your dreams and someday (some way)
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
<Take hand of young girl in audience, go down on one knee>
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true
<Get up; move to centre stage>
No matter how your heart is grieving
<String out this bit>
If you keep on believing
<More>
the dream
<Insert longish pause here>
that you wish
<Milk it for all its worth chester>
will come true
<Raise arms and eyes as if looking up to a star, bow head, drop mic by side on last long note>
<Insert 2.5 seconds of complete silence>
<Applause, starts quietly graduating to thunderous, wolf whistles, stamping feet, standing ovation, roses thrown from the dress circle, someone sitting near the front rushes onto stage and kisses me then returns to seat sobbing with joy and looking slightly embarrassed, shouts of encore, blow kisses to audience, couple more deep bows, wave, blow another kiss, lift mic, raise hand to indicate quiet>
<applause drops, hush falls over audience>
<Big crescendo>No matter how your heart is grieving
<Softly>If you keep on believing
<sing>the dream
<speak>Thank you all very much
<sing>that you wish
<speak>You've been a really wonderful audience
<sing>will come true
<speak>Goodnight and god bless.
<wave and blow kisses while exiting stage right to el mucho adulation>
Bit of Bette, bit of Bing, bit of Frank, bit of sexual ambiguity, maybe even a bit of Englebert, it's got it all. Don't say I never do anything special for ya.
So did anybody think to say "Hey Chester, you've completely screwed up the meter in those limericks?" What's that? Nobody's paying any attention you say. Yes I know that. So? As an excuse that ranks as piss poor.
What about you staphy? What's your story? You're well-educated, first class honours, you must have noticed my limericks were not anapest meter. Thought you were me mate. Geez you're a fellow Australian. We're supposed to look out for each other but no, you left me to the hungry wolf that is.....
....Meg. Oh yes indeedy. Gee I had her pegged from the start. This was Workshop Comment 1 from good old Meg:
Quote:
Well...it's an interesting verse, but it isn't a limerick. Limericks use anapest meter, like so ?
<snip>
Happy New Year, welcome to the OEDILF, and back to the drawing board.
Excuse me? "Back to the drawing board"??????? Now I'm not normally one to advocate physical violence but at this point I find myself wondering if perhaps there is a role to be played by facial disfigurement in modern society.
So I'm sitting there thinking "Well Meg Beale is probably her real name. I could track the bitch down. See if we can't do something about that chip on Meg's shoulder. Sledge hammer should do the trick....."
And then I thought, "Chester, get a grip. Meg's just got a bit of a problem with anal retention."
Right. What was that thing about drawing boards, oh yeah
Quote:
chester
01 Jan 2005 23:37
I'm on my way, Meg.
Meter; what a nuisance, eh? Anapest.
Just a tiny piss take for starters Meg, honey. Now Workshop Comment 2. Yes Meg, I'm all ears:
Quote:
Meg Beagle
01 Jan 2005 18:30
Chester, every verse of yours I've seen has problems with both meter and rhyme. You need to do a bit more work on them since many of your underlying ideas are good. Remember that anapest meter goes ?
<snip>
Good luck....
Every verse Meg? Really? Never done one of those courses where they teach you not to make all encompassing statements. Oh well, the price you pay for being a limerick expert I guess.
Quote:
chester
01 Jan 2005 23:53
Don't hold back, Meg. Hit me with your rhythm stick. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.
So will Meg give in gracefully or is it going to be a battle of wills? Will chester be able to get the bug out of Meg's arse before it reaches her brain? What does Meg's next workshop comment hold in store for chester? Is chester going to make Meg cry?
What about you staphy? What's your story? You're well-educated, first class honours, you must have noticed my limericks were not anapest meter. Thought you were me mate. Geez you're a fellow Australian. We're supposed to look out for each other but no, you left me to the hungry wolf that is.....
Sorry Chester, I only pay attention to normal metres, like dactylic hexameter, iambic pentameter, and my all-time favourite, the hendecasyllabic.
Comments
If you submit a limerick to them, please also post it here. I think it will be great amusement.
Arms akimbo and looking askance
You ask "Why adopt such a stance?"
Hands on hips, elbows out,
My expression of doubt
Is because you are wearing no pants.
I had another version that squeezed in the definition of "adopt" as well. But it was insulting to the French so I thought better of it.
Is really a bit of a tease
There's no fever or spots
Swelling or clots
Not even so much as a sneeze.
Can't wait to be workshopped.
A Limerick of Unrequited Love.
My heart's broken; you tore it asunder.
My love, care and trust didst thou plunder.
Now my life is in shreds,
I'm on daily meds,
And you're rotting out back six feet under.
Are you one of "those people" LiquidR? What's your story here?
I may have a limerick later when my AI irritation subsides.
Originally posted by tonton
Yay! Got my first RFA!
Go away. I hate you.
I think I pissed one of them off. Knocked back her suggestion. Told her I thought it was too repetitive. Reply seemed a bit terse.
Sigh. Some days.....never mind.
"As you like it."
<Caustic paragraph that would have made this post positively withering for poor old Meg removed from here at Chester's discretion>
She knows you're needy and highly sexual tonton and she just wants you for your body.
Joke's on you Meg 'cause I'm the better root.
originally posted by crazychester
Are you one of "those people" LiquidR? What's your story here?
Nope. I just heard about it on NPR and thought it would be a nice departure from all the venom and vitriol on AO. Plus, I thought it could excercise everyone's wit on something fun rather than zingers.
Words unfortunately are not my stock and trade. I've been trying to come up with something to my satifaction but no luck so far.
But it has been a pleasure to see what the rest of you have been doing with it.
Arms akimbo and looking askance
You ask "Why adopt such a stance?"
Hands on hips, elbows out,
My expression of doubt
Is because you are wearing no pants.
I received this workshop comment from Richard English (do you think that's a pseudonym?
I like it - but I find L5 unclear. It implies that the observer is sans cullot and, if this is the case, then why would one in such a state challenge one standing akimbo? The image is, I agree. a delcious one, though.
I'm glad you asked Dick.
My response to Dick's searching question:
I figured there were two possible interpretations by the reader:
1. The observer is unaware of their pantslessness - L2 translates as "why are you giving me that funny look?"
2. The observer is consciously and unashamedly pantsless - L2 translates as "yeah so I'm not wearing any pants, what of it?"
See if that gets Dick's stamp of approval.
My first metaphysical limerick:
With arbitrariness,
A life path diverges.
It's a cosmic dice roll
That may entice your soul,
Down the road that's travelled less.
Amenorrhoea can-
not happen to a man.
There's no more menstrual flow
The hormones start to slow
Ne'er to be seen again.
In jungles African,
Lived a famous ape man
Who would swing through the vines,
And then wrestle with lines
Like, "You Jane, me Tarzan."
I'm a frickin' undiscovered genius, I am. I expect that my brilliance won't be fully appreciated until several hundred years after my death. Better late than never I guess.....
When quite accidentally,
You find you can't foresee,
Cases of happenstance
There's a very good chance
Of improbability.
I feel like I'm here all by myself. It's quite nice actually. The rest of you should fuck off more often. Give me a bit of peace and quiet. Too bad it's cyberspace. Otherwise I could have a poke through your personal stuff while you're out. Find out what you're hiding from me.
I could breach a few guidelines while nobody's looking. Go through the joint leaving a trail of scathing ad hominem's behind me, start threads in PO with titles like "George Bush takes it up the arse for money", make a few scandalous allegations about Amorph's sex life, the mind boggles. Could be fun. Sit back and watch the ensuing fracas - "Oh my god, chester's gone ape shit."
Of course, the only problem is I'd get caught. Then the official PM would arrive. Bad chester, naughty chester, chester banned. Reckon I'd get life? Guess so. Still there'd be that satisfying feeling from going down in a blaze of glory. Get a few things off my chest in the process. Gotta admit it's tempting. Then again it'd be my luck to have a mod show up when I was just getting started; end up with nothing more than a lousy 2 day banning and a lecture from Powerdoc about how disappointed he is in me.
Sigh. So much for that idea. I'll sing a song instead. Round of applause please ladies and germs.
Thanks maestro. <Cue music> Folks this is a song my daddy used to sing me to sleep with when I was just a little girl. I like to sing it whenever I'm feeling low or life's getting me down. It always lifts my spirits and puts a smile back on my face. It's a special little song. I hope you like it and it makes you smile too. <Fade up music>
<Start crooning>
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
<Take hand of woman in front row>
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
<Walk along front row smiling>
Have faith in your dreams and someday (some way)
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
<Take hand of young girl in audience, go down on one knee>
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true
<Get up; move to centre stage>
No matter how your heart is grieving
<String out this bit>
If you keep on believing
<More>
the dream
<Insert longish pause here>
that you wish
<Milk it for all its worth chester>
will come true
<Raise arms and eyes as if looking up to a star, bow head, drop mic by side on last long note>
<Insert 2.5 seconds of complete silence>
<Applause, starts quietly graduating to thunderous, wolf whistles, stamping feet, standing ovation, roses thrown from the dress circle, someone sitting near the front rushes onto stage and kisses me then returns to seat sobbing with joy and looking slightly embarrassed, shouts of encore, blow kisses to audience, couple more deep bows, wave, blow another kiss, lift mic, raise hand to indicate quiet>
<applause drops, hush falls over audience>
<Big crescendo>No matter how your heart is grieving
<Softly>If you keep on believing
<sing>the dream
<speak>Thank you all very much
<sing>that you wish
<speak>You've been a really wonderful audience
<sing>will come true
<speak>Goodnight and god bless.
<wave and blow kisses while exiting stage right to el mucho adulation>
Bit of Bette, bit of Bing, bit of Frank, bit of sexual ambiguity, maybe even a bit of Englebert, it's got it all. Don't say I never do anything special for ya.
Originally posted by crazychester
Don't say I never do anything special for ya.
I'd never say that Chester, although Barto might like to.
Originally posted by staphbaby
I'd never say that Chester, although Barto might like to.
Barto knows Aunty Chester loves him, and watches over him, every minute.....
.....of every day......
.....watching.......
......and waiting......
Bite me, tonton.
Update when the delirium passes.
What about you staphy? What's your story? You're well-educated, first class honours, you must have noticed my limericks were not anapest meter. Thought you were me mate. Geez you're a fellow Australian. We're supposed to look out for each other but no, you left me to the hungry wolf that is.....
....Meg. Oh yes indeedy. Gee I had her pegged from the start. This was Workshop Comment 1 from good old Meg:
Well...it's an interesting verse, but it isn't a limerick. Limericks use anapest meter, like so ?
<snip>
Happy New Year, welcome to the OEDILF, and back to the drawing board.
Excuse me? "Back to the drawing board"??????? Now I'm not normally one to advocate physical violence but at this point I find myself wondering if perhaps there is a role to be played by facial disfigurement in modern society.
So I'm sitting there thinking "Well Meg Beale is probably her real name. I could track the bitch down. See if we can't do something about that chip on Meg's shoulder. Sledge hammer should do the trick....."
And then I thought, "Chester, get a grip. Meg's just got a bit of a problem with anal retention."
Right. What was that thing about drawing boards, oh yeah
chester
01 Jan 2005 23:37
I'm on my way, Meg.
Meter; what a nuisance, eh? Anapest.
Just a tiny piss take for starters Meg, honey. Now Workshop Comment 2. Yes Meg, I'm all ears:
Meg Beagle
01 Jan 2005 18:30
Chester, every verse of yours I've seen has problems with both meter and rhyme. You need to do a bit more work on them since many of your underlying ideas are good. Remember that anapest meter goes ?
<snip>
Good luck....
Every verse Meg? Really? Never done one of those courses where they teach you not to make all encompassing statements. Oh well, the price you pay for being a limerick expert I guess.
chester
01 Jan 2005 23:53
Don't hold back, Meg. Hit me with your rhythm stick. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.
So will Meg give in gracefully or is it going to be a battle of wills? Will chester be able to get the bug out of Meg's arse before it reaches her brain? What does Meg's next workshop comment hold in store for chester? Is chester going to make Meg cry?
Find out in the next thrilling episode of OEDILF!
Hot off the presses. New and improved limericks!
Arbitrariness, chance and bad luck,
May see that by lightning your struck
You were flying a kite
Now your hair is alight
and your flesh smells a bit like roast duck.
A famously vocal ape man
With the African wildebeests ran
He would swing through the vines,
And then wrestle with lines
Like, "Him Cheetah, you Jane, me Tarzan."
Amenorrhea's a physical state
But not one to which men can relate
If you're saying a prayer
Then you should be aware
Amen won't help you menstruate.
"Accidentally", the man said with ease,
"describes things that nobody foresees."
Then he tripped on a rock
Hit his head, lost a sock
Broke a toe, missed the bus and caught fleas.
- See ya next time, chester.
- Right on, chester. Loved the song by the way.
- Oh thanks chester.
- Don't mention it. Ciao.
- Later.
Here's a tale about fruit boring scandal.
Apple maggots are bugs I can't handle.
A larval rough rider,
An apple insider!
It's an entomological vandal.
Originally posted by crazychester
What about you staphy? What's your story? You're well-educated, first class honours, you must have noticed my limericks were not anapest meter. Thought you were me mate. Geez you're a fellow Australian. We're supposed to look out for each other but no, you left me to the hungry wolf that is.....
Sorry Chester, I only pay attention to normal metres, like dactylic hexameter, iambic pentameter, and my all-time favourite, the hendecasyllabic.