Let's be civil, shall we? I know how shares work.
I see a flaw in your reasoning, and I'll use round numbers to demonstrate it. Suppose a company has 10 shares outstanding and a market cap of $100. Each share is worth $10. Now imagine the company buys 9 of the shares. They'll sink $90 into the purchase and the value of that last share of stock is still $10, because the company as a whole is still worth $100.