Hilarious! :) When I was 17, I was in a pool with my friend and there was a cute lifeguard. I started swimming and splashing as much as I could. I looked like a steamboat in the pool. She came up to me and said if I "knife" the water with my hand instead of slapping, I would swim better. I looked at her and said "Huh, OK." I swam the length of the pool, did a flip turn like Tarzan. Came back to her and said, "Like that?" She said I was an a**hole. She was right. Best.