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The Stream of Consciousness - Page 3

post #81 of 100
Get this off topic thread back on topic so it's off topic properly or I'll be forced to close it!
"If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the...
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"If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the...
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post #82 of 100
Joker captain
Captain welcomes you
photocopier, environmentalist
Joke electric home
The welcome home
electricity, artifices
Joke bugler
Bugling jokers
instructions, fires

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Mac The Fork ]</p>
We're investigating reports of indecent acts being committed at the YMCA.
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We're investigating reports of indecent acts being committed at the YMCA.
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post #83 of 100
Yes, Sinewave, we're a bit more lax here than we used to be ... that doesn't mean that you can turn it into MacMonkey

Please exercise some taste and judgement, before we have to do it for you.
post #84 of 100
[quote]Your a liberal zealot Samantha. Plain and simple. While I am not a Democrat OR a Republican. I can see right through you. You believe anything the liberal propaganda machine feeds you.<hr></blockquote>

Sorry to disappoint you, but I did not vote for Al Gore. Perish the thought! Similarly, I am neither a Democrat or a Republican. At least we have that in common. Truth be known, if you watched those so-called 'debates' between Bush and Gore, they were in agreement with each other on more than 75% of all the issues covered, indicating that both parties are more like the 2 heads of a hydra, sharing a common body, or paymaster. Wanna get me started on the political leanings of the mass media?
Why of course the people don't want war ... But after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a...
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Why of course the people don't want war ... But after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a...
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post #85 of 100
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Jonathan:
<strong>Yes, Sinewave, we're a bit more lax here than we used to be ... that doesn't mean that you can turn it into MacMonkey

Please exercise some taste and judgement, before we have to do it for you.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Well I don't know your guidelines as to what is distasteful Some people get upset over such things like telling jokes.. or posting pictures that offends them. I guess we should all step on egg shells for these people.
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post #86 of 100
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Samantha Joanne Ollendale:
<strong>

Sorry to disappoint you, but I did not vote for Al Gore. Perish the thought! Similarly, I am neither a Democrat or a Republican. At least we have that in common. Truth be known, if you watched those so-called 'debates' between Bush and Gore, they were in agreement with each other on more than 75% of all the issues covered, indicating that both parties are more like the 2 heads of a hydra, sharing a common body, or paymaster. Wanna get me started on the political leanings of the mass media?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Here where I can agree with you. Both sides try to ride the political fence.. it's very disgraceful. Do away wth parties and the person running can say what he or she is REALLY for.
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post #87 of 100
[quote]Originally posted by Samantha Joanne Ollendale:
<strong>Truth be known, if you watched those so-called 'debates' between Bush and Gore, they were in agreement with each other on more than 75% of all the issues covered, indicating that both parties are more like the 2 heads of a hydra, sharing a common body, or paymaster.</strong><hr></blockquote>
And neither one was willing to go within a million miles of the gun law debate. And, other than the odd cliched editorial piece, the media completely avoided the issue too.
Chicanery.
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Chicanery.
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post #88 of 100
I think my sig says it all...I'll stream some more later only if we ALL GET BACK ON TOPIC!
I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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post #89 of 100
Thread Starter 
The plural of spouse is spice.
\t\t-- R.A. Heinlein
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post #90 of 100
I was sitting through a back-to-school night presentation on "Some Tips For Reading Aloud With Your Child", and to keep my mind awake, I noticed that if you changed the words:

reading aloud -&gt; ****ing
child -&gt; partner
book -&gt; position
word -&gt; body part

it becomes a sex manual!

I present for your edification...

SOME TIPS FOR ****ING WITH YOUR PARTNER

1. Try to set a regular time for ****ing. This might be before school or before bedtime.
2. Select positions that are appropriate for the age and interest of your partner. Start with picture positions and build to story positions and novels.
3. Involve your partner in the ****ing by asking him or her to predict what will happen next, chime in on repetitive phrases, say a body part he or she knows, or link the picture to the position.
4. Engage in discussions about the positions and talk about the meaning of some body parts your partner is interested in.
5. From time to time, choose positions to **** with your partner that he or she cannot ****.
6. Use lots of expression when you ****. Be dramatic when you **** and make the position come to life.
7. Change the pace of your ****ing to match the position. If there is suspense in the position, slow down the ****ing to build the suspense. If there is a lot of action in a part of the ****ing, increase the pace for effect.
8. Don't **** too fast.
9. Let your partner see you ****ing for pleasure at times other than when ****ing together. Share what you are ****ing with your partner.
post #91 of 100
Anyone got a good Haiku to share with us?

If not, then I shall spin the thread this way (because someone's rantings are getting old and are not in the spirit of "the stream."):

How long will it be before we see one of those wildlife clowns...the ones who consantly get up-close-and-too-personal with various types of wildlife...[foghorn]I say, how long befo one-a those boys gets bitten in the beak by a pit vipah ow bent into a pretzel by a salt watah crock?[/foghorn]

Wouldn't it be more entertaining to watch them actually become part of the food chain, than it is listening to them yap on and on (and on) about all the "incredibly beautiful" creatures (half of which are hideously ugly)?
Aldo is watching....
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Aldo is watching....
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post #92 of 100
Thread Starter 
A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block
of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an
elephant.
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post #93 of 100
I've got you just where I want you now.
We're investigating reports of indecent acts being committed at the YMCA.
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We're investigating reports of indecent acts being committed at the YMCA.
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post #94 of 100
Thread Starter 
What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clintonwishes he had?An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.
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post #95 of 100
--5-7-9
-5-----10
5--------7
We're investigating reports of indecent acts being committed at the YMCA.
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We're investigating reports of indecent acts being committed at the YMCA.
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post #96 of 100
Thread Starter 
You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an
uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Since this is definitely a
no-no, you:

(a) Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one fluid
motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up to the 4th
joint.

(b) Get everyone drunk and organize a nose picking contest with a prize
to the one who makes his nose bleed first.

(c) Drop your napkin on the floor, and when you bend over to pick it up,
blow your nose on your sock.
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The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by
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post #97 of 100
Thread Starter 
How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Let the bitch cook in the dark!
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post #98 of 100
a recent post to a mailing list set up for myself and a few of my best friends. felt it was good enough to share, at least in this thread.

have you ever run into someone that you hadn't seen in a few years, and they completely did not remember you at all? this has happened to me twice now. first time was at that rich mullins concert in cathedral square a few years ago. i ran into these two girls i met at this summer week-long retreat. one of them remembered me, the other one didnt. me and the girl who did remember me spent the next five minutes trying to get the other girl to remember me. she never did. this was really disturbing, as we had become pretty good friends over the weekend, and had even seen eachother a few months later and she remembered me. then two years later, nada. not even after i tried to do things from vision to help her place me. it was like she was a zombie. anyway today i went back to work, and they've hired this girl i was friends with in high school as a secretary. so i started talking to her, and she totally did not remember me. i was like, remember me? we had yearbook together, we talked every day, you rode in my car to go sell ads, nothing could make her remember. i felt so dumb in front of the other people there.then to top it all off, she goes "are you sure that was me?" like i am some sort of psycho rememberer that remembers girls that i've never met. what a bitch. the only saving grace is the hope that she was in a horrible car accident and lost her memory, and that's why she doesnt remember me. oh and in the car accident, the trauma to her brain made her a bitch. whatever. don't remember me. see if i care. you stupid whore.

[ 12-02-2001: Message edited by: poor taylor ]</p>
post #99 of 100
Thread Starter 
President Clinton was being entertained by anAfrican leader. They'd spent the day discussingwhat the country had received from the Russiansbefore the new government kicked them out."The Russians built us a power plant, a highway,and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka andplay Russian roulette."President Clinton frowned. "Russian roulette's nota very friendly game." The African leader smiled."That's why we developed African roulette. If youwant to have good relations with our country,you'll have to play. I'II show you how."He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later sixmagnificently built, nude women were ushered in."You can choose any one of those women to give youoral sex," he told Clinton."Unreal," Clinton said, "But it doesn't seem muchlike Russian roulette.""Trust me!" he said. "One of them is a cannibal."
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post #100 of 100
Thread Starter 
"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think
Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?

\t(1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
\t(2) Advising the President.
\t(3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
\t\t-- David Letterman
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