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Geraldo Rivera death pool...

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Well I see now that the Mustached Marauder is now a FOX "war correspondent". And he's milking the drama and tough talk for all it's worth.

He hasn't been this wacky and far-out since his chair throwing days as a Jerry Springer competitor (back before he put on a snazzy pair of eyeglasses and apparently decided he was now a "serious" journalist).

But what a raging hot dog and war jock.

I'm going on record right now, December 6, 2001, that Geraldo buys it over there. He's too close to the fighting and he was shot at by snipers yesterday while ON CAMERA!

Something tells me too that no one asked this clown to go over there and risk his balls for jittery, hyperbole-laden "you're there now" reports. I can see him storming into Roger Ailes' office and saying "you guys HAVE to let me go there...I'm ****ing Geraldo Rivera!".



It would be the crowning achievement in a career marked by putting himself in harm's way for a bitchin' piece of footage.

In any case, I just have a feeling that he's "filing his last report" and won't come back from Afghanistan alive. He'll most likely get shot while live on camera and I'll bet my left nut that he already has a death speech planned and pre-loaded into the teleprompter...just in case.



Any takers?
post #2 of 29
According to the NY Daily News:
[quote]Geraldo Rivera's dream of being a war correspondent is said to be running into some resistance from our own armed forces. And even former fighting leatherneck Oliver North, who's been shown the red carpet on U.S. Navy carriers, is powerless to help him, we hear.

Rivera quit a $5 million job as a CNBC talkmeister last month to cover Afghanistan for Fox News. But not everyone is cooperating with his career change.
Geraldo Rivera

Bad enough that gun-toting Afghans have been blocking his way to Kandahar. Worse still, sources claim, he's been getting precious little cooperation from U.S. military officials who apparently don't cotton to the left-leaning TV star.

"The military remembers his support of Bill Clinton," says one insider. "They won't let him get near stories he wants particularly if it involves interviewing U.S. personnel."

Rivera has been trying to get into the gung-ho Fox spirit declaring on air that he was packing a gun and might personally plug Osama Bin Laden if he found him.

Last week, Fox News chief Roger Ailes is said to have enlisted help from Marine officer-turned-pundit North, who just headed to Bahrain also as a correspondent for Fox. Ailes, says the insider, asked North to put in a good word for his colleague with the brass.

According to the source, North sent word back that his military contacts had dryly responded: "Geraldo's paperwork is not in order, and it won't be in order until the war is over."

Rivera couldn't be reached for comment. A Fox spokesman could confirm only that locals have blocked Rivera's trip to the front lines.

On his broadcast last night, Geraldo himself called his new beat "an armed no-man's land filled with murderous danger."

An amused Pentagon spokesman said he'd "received no reports of [Rivera] experiencing any trouble," but that he was welcome to file a complaint.<hr></blockquote>The military isn't letting him get close enough to get killed
Too bad <img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />
j/k. I don't want to see him killed. Just maimed a little.
post #3 of 29
Thread Starter 
Hahaha...that's HILARIOUS! I love it!

I wish more people in would do that to the press and celebrities. As long as we kiss their butt, they continue to ego trip and carry on as they do.

I'm still waiting for someone to tell Madonna to go jump in a lake and that she isn't quite a cool and talented as she seems to believe she is.



Rivera's show was SO left-leaning and pro-Clinton and anti-anything REMOTELY to the right (or hell, even the center), that I'm not surprised the military is shutting him out and not helping at all.

Good for them! They just went up about 7 notches in my opinion, on this one issue alone.



[ 12-06-2001: Message edited by: pscates ]</p>
post #4 of 29
That is hilarious. I just had this image of a broadcast...

"Geraldo Rivera here, today the Northern Allian..."

*thwack*

"Ungh!!"

&lt;scrambles to feet&gt;

"Ladies and gentleman, I have just been shot by a sniper! This is as real as it gets, folks. Taliban forces have ju..."

*thwack*

"This is the real deal here, I am actually being shot at by Taliban snipers! I can see them perched up ..."

*thwack!*


SNL or Mad TV should do this skit... I can picture it in my head right now... and I'm laughing my ass off!!

Well, it could be the 4 Smirnoff Ice's I've downed tonight talking...
post #5 of 29
Geraldo digusts me. I have not the slightest clue why Fox hired him.
post #6 of 29
How much do you want to bet that Geraldo will have a Fox News special where he opens "the cave containing Osama Bin Laden"

For those of you that don't know, some years ago, Geraldo had a big TV special where he had a team excavate Al Capone's vault.

It was hyped to the extreme.

The vault was opened live in front of millions of viewers.

And it was empty.

Completely, utterly empty.

Geraldo was nearly finished.
post #7 of 29
Geraldo = Rico Suave
The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by
the paper clip of the overlying memo and go to file.
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The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by
the paper clip of the overlying memo and go to file.
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post #8 of 29
[quote]Geraldo digusts me. I have not the slightest clue why Fox hired him.<hr></blockquote>

Because Fox News sucks. Plain and simple.
post #9 of 29
&lt;snickers&gt; keep it up guys, I love it.
post #10 of 29
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Fran441:
<strong>Because Fox News sucks. Plain and simple.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Does CNN?
post #11 of 29
[quote]Does CNN? <hr></blockquote>

Of course, they both do.

And one thing I hate.......and CNN is especially guilty of this.....is they way they use the term "America Strikes Back".

A proper use of the term would be "This is when America Strikes Back".

However, it is often used like:

"And stay tuned for the latest developments in America Strikes Back".

Grrrrrrrr
post #12 of 29
Geraldo Rivera couldn't find a story in his own glove compartment...

He better watch out...not for the Taliban, or our forces. Adganistan right now is Road Warrior country. No holds barred savagery. Those four other gonzo journalists were killed by bandits. I wouldn't be surprised if he's blown away and skinned alive by some Afgan teenagers. <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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post #13 of 29
Thread Starter 
EXACTLY...that's what I'm talking about. He's in a dangerous place and he seems to be the kind of guy who would do something reckless and stupid if it meant him looking studly and courageous on TV.

He's that kind of person.

I really do think he'll get plugged. Not being mean or morbid, just thinking out loud I guess...
post #14 of 29
Jim Knipfel
<a href="http://www.nypress.com/static/billboard.cfm#727" target="_blank">Manly Newsreader One-Upmanship</a>

[quote]Not about to be outdone by a "geezer" like Dan Rather in the "journalists in the line of fire" sweepstakes, former talk show host and sideshow impresario Geraldo Rivera let everyone know yesterday that he actually had to dodge a sniper's bullet while covering a story. "Let's see old man Rather do that," he boasted with a smile later yesterday afternoon. "He's so old and fat, I bet he could never do it. Not like I had to do today." ... <hr></blockquote>
shooby doo, shooby doo
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shooby doo, shooby doo
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post #15 of 29
Thread Starter 
Okay, can we perhaps issue an order to our own military to, perhaps, wing him? Just a surface, "chew on this, pal" kind of a shot?

Avoid the major arteries and all, of course.

Has anyone ever died from a small shoulder nick?

I don't know. I'm asking...

At the very least, could we perhaps arrange a boxing match between the two highest ranking journalistic buffoons, Rather and Rivera, and let them go at it for 26 rounds or so, for OUR viewing pleasure?

The proceeds could be donated to the September 11th Fund, of course.

post #16 of 29
Man, I can't resist this one....

Yesterday Geraldo (evidently Tipped off in advance) was reporting from where B-52(s) were supposed to bomb. He was all agog with excitement at the prospect of having a B-52 strike for a back ground. He built it up and up (with that liberal Geek -what's his face) on the Mister Sean Hannity & what's his face show . What's his face was feeding off of Geraldo's excitement and it was just building and building and... nothing. No bombs, no back drop, just a facial expression containing the dawning realization of "I've been had.". Excellent.

He's a defense lawyer for the Democratic Party who is smooth at denying the evidence of an observer's senses. The choice is up to the observer: believe your senses or believe Geraldo.

Usually I won't watch when that bastard (Geraldo-not What's his face) is on-he's an insult, but that missing bombing was sweet.

Does Geraldo have a working mine detector?

Thanks for listening.
Aries 1B
"I pictured myself sitting in the shade of a leafy tree in a public park, a stylus in hand, a shiny Apple Tablet computer in my lap, and a pouty Jennifer Connelly stirring a pitcher of gimlets a...
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"I pictured myself sitting in the shade of a leafy tree in a public park, a stylus in hand, a shiny Apple Tablet computer in my lap, and a pouty Jennifer Connelly stirring a pitcher of gimlets a...
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post #17 of 29
"And here, left on the feilds where the fighting once took place, nothing is left except this xhildrens toy, this toy left affter the Russian fighting which..." *BAM*
I can dream, cant I?

when America Strikes Back
Yes, this needs to be on Fox, right after "When good pets go bad!"
Those who dance the dance must look very foolish to those who can't hear the music
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Those who dance the dance must look very foolish to those who can't hear the music
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post #18 of 29
[quote]Originally posted by Fran441:
<strong>

Because Fox News sucks. Plain and simple.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I disagree. FoxNews is currently kicking the shit out of CNN, and they aren't even in as many markets.

Secondly, I find Fox to be the ONLY fair network for news. CBS and ABC are bordering on the CRIMINAL with their liberal bias. NBC Nightly News is slanted, but not horribly. And CNN and MSNBC, good lord!

I used to watch CBS Sunday, but I just don't think I can do it anymore. I have seen two weeks in a row of the most liberally biased stories I have EVER seen. Then again, that is more of a magazine show.

Fox and Friends ROCKS.

[ 12-09-2001: Message edited by: SDW2001 ]</p>
I can only please one person per day.  Today is not your day.  Tomorrow doesn't look good either.  
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I can only please one person per day.  Today is not your day.  Tomorrow doesn't look good either.  
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post #19 of 29
Uh, OK. Frankly, I think:

1. Rivera is being surprisingly (even for him) self-glorifying this whole time, and while I cannot think that all the others are to some extent too, they at least managed to swallow their egos a bit (just a bit sometimes). even when CNN reports that they are the first crew inside Kandahar, they can do it with some boasting and some actual content to report. Blame whoever you like for that.

2. All the media outlets cannot help but be biased in some way. Sorry, but when this kind of thing happens, even the media is not above it, and one has to be pretty naive to think they are. Get over it real quick, this isn't anything new after all.

They are tug our little heartstrings with snazzy graphics and titles like "America Fights Back!" Don't expect any of these guys to attempt the "just-the-facts" approach. Ratings (that is, statistically what you and I watch) go to the most maudlin performance. Dateline has won many awards.

Besides, what the hell does any of this have to do with "conservative" or "liberal" biases anyway? the very thought that we can be so distracted by petty differences is only slightly disturbing.

3. As for Mr. Rivera, I've never really respected him, being that he is such a nihilistic person by nature. I've always found his job was to parody real talk show hosts (if there are any) or real reporters (liberal or conservative). Anything he does I'm not aware of? Perhaps the fact that he is treated as a real reporter debunks the whole idea of a real reporter in the end.

4. It's our job to sift through the trash and find the real facts and ideas. Don't let anyone tell you what they are, don't let anyone make up your mind for you. Don't blame the media for not doing your homework.
post #20 of 29
Here's the perfect gift for the liberal with an open mind:

<a href="http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2001/12/7/183759.shtml" target="_blank">http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2001/12/7/183759.shtml</a>

If you find a liberal with an open mind, please alert the media (after which time you may expect to be slurred from here to hell).

<img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />

Aries 1B
"I pictured myself sitting in the shade of a leafy tree in a public park, a stylus in hand, a shiny Apple Tablet computer in my lap, and a pouty Jennifer Connelly stirring a pitcher of gimlets a...
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"I pictured myself sitting in the shade of a leafy tree in a public park, a stylus in hand, a shiny Apple Tablet computer in my lap, and a pouty Jennifer Connelly stirring a pitcher of gimlets a...
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post #21 of 29
[quote]Originally posted by SDW2001:
<strong>
Secondly, I find Fox to be the ONLY fair network for news. CBS and ABC are bordering on the CRIMINAL with their liberal bias. NBC Nightly News is slanted, but not horribly. And CNN and MSNBC, good lord!

...

Fox and Friends ROCKS.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

I disagree about FOX being fair. All of their shows have a strong conservative bias, with the exception of the bits involving Rivera, but he's doing combat reporting, so that doesn't count. I do like that FOX is right biased. Even though I'm strongly leftist, I think that all opinions need to be voiced. The other networks don't do enough from the right so FOXNews is a good thing.
42
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42
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post #22 of 29
A couple more for the Rivera file:

<a href="http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/tvaradarajan/?id=95001577" target="_blank">Geraldo's War</a>

When showbiz is news, ignorance prevails.

BY TUNKU VARADARAJAN

Monday, December 10, 2001 12:01 a.m. EST

[quote]A couple of days after Fox News hired Geraldo Rivera away from CNBC to be its hunter-gatherer in Afghanistan, a friend of mine, a media personality, made a counterintuitive prediction. Dismissing my conviction, shared by every sentient being in Christendom, that Mr. Rivera would prove to be an embarrassment to his new employers, she said: "He'll turn out to do fabulous work in Afghanistan. Here are the reasons: It's his last chance to be taken seriously. He becomes excited by war. Because of his dark good looks, and his vaguely Tajik mustache, some idiot fighters there will think he's more sympathetic than the paler correspondents. And on top of all that he'll do anything - anything - to show Roger Ailes [the head of Fox News] his appreciation for this big chance. So, I say, watch that boy!"

I did watch him. She was wrong.

Mr. Rivera, who appears daily from the front line on Fox's news programs - popping up like a tawdry jack-in-the-box on "The O'Reilly Factor," "Hannity & Colmes" and every other news segment, it seems, morning, noon and night - has turned the war zone into a vast shrine to himself...<hr></blockquote>

And from the old stories made new again department, here's a "news" flashback. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

<a href="http://www.bsnn.net/Headline%20News/flashback.htm" target="_blank">This Just In: Bill Clinton resting comfortably after emergency surgery</a>

[quote]HARLEM - Ex-president Bill Clinton was resting comfortably in a local hospital late last night after emergency surgery to remove talk show host Geraldo Rivera's head from inside the former president's ass.

Clinton was brought to the hospital complaining of severe abdominal cramping and crippling constipation. A quick examination led doctors to recommend the immediate removal of Mr. Rivera and in order to end the pain, a reluctant Mr. Clinton acquiesced. Unfortunately, both Mr. Clinton and Mr. Rivera are expected to make full recoveries. <hr></blockquote>

[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: roger_ramjet ]</p>
shooby doo, shooby doo
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shooby doo, shooby doo
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post #23 of 29
Thread Starter 


Now THAT'S funny...

And the comment about the "shrine to himself" is SO accurate. I watch Rivera's reports almost nightly, while flipping around back and forth during O'Reilly and Hannity & Colmes and he just has this way of making himself seem like the focus...and NOT the explosions and chaos taking place over his shoulder.

EVERYTHING is "I" or "me" and every phrase is so overblown and pumped-up with self-important, "he man" grandstanding.

Idiot.

I'll ask again...is there not anyway our boys could "accidentally" wing him just a bit? Enough to send him home and shut him up? A small, superficial shoulder wound or something?



[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: pscates ]</p>
post #24 of 29
Well, he must figure this is his last chance to make up for the Al Capone's Secret Vault fiasco. Now it's Osama Bin Laden's Secret Cave...the stupid fuk. I hope he DOES go into one of the militarized zones, gets captuared, and strung up by his testicles. <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />

Biggest dumbass ever to be aired on TV short of Morton Downey Jr.

If this country wants some truly cutting edge commentary over there, send Hunter S. Thomson and a platoon of Seals in the back country...THAT would make good reading.
Aldo is watching....
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Aldo is watching....
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post #25 of 29
By the way, you guys who are arguing about Fox vs. CNN vs. the networks. It's POINTLESS. They're ALL screwed, but for different reasons.

Fox is the most sensationalist network on television. They over-hype everything and spin everything as if it's a matter of life and death. They suck the worst, plain and simple.

MSNBC suffers from the same disease although not to the same extent.

CNN is nothing but sound bites and meaningless statistical blurbs. They give little or no context and focus only on those stories that carry good footage with them (usually).

ABC is the best of the three networks (at least during the month following the WTC attack, I don't know about since then). They are somewhat liberal leaning, however their commentators and specialists are much more knowledgeable and impartial than the other networks. Peter Jennings, John Miller and John McQuethy put their counterparts on CBS and NBC to shame.


That said, the ONLY relatively unbiased news show, that WILL give you BOTH sides of the story IN SOME DEPTH, is the News Hour with Jim Lehrer on PBS. Yes, it's boring, yes Jim looks like he needs a vacation. But if you want decent context-driven information, that's the only place you're likely to get it (on television anyway). To look elsewhere is to kid yourself.

And it's no coincidence that the only impartial news show that gives context, asks tough questions and gets the answer from multiple parties...is the one that doesn't depend on ratings. All network news shows are by definition Nielsen whores.

[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Moogs ]</p>
Aldo is watching....
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Aldo is watching....
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post #26 of 29
Just heard a new name for Geraldo: Horrendo Retardo.
shooby doo, shooby doo
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shooby doo, shooby doo
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post #27 of 29
Carl Hiaasen wrote a really funny book (actually he has written several really funny books) called Skin Tight that has a dead-on parody of Geraldo Rivera. It's a great read.

<a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0449219410/qid=1009220199/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_74_1/107-4950742-6982123" target="_blank">Skin Tight on Amazon.com</a>
"..do you remember where you parked the car?"
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"..do you remember where you parked the car?"
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post #28 of 29
<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A19486-2001Dec23.html" target="_blank">http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A19486-2001Dec23.html</a>

The upshot: Geraldo made a bulls*** report about being at the site of the friendly fire incident in Afghanistan complete with phrases like "walking on hallowed ground" and "I said the Lord's Prayer."

Trouble is, he was hundreds of miles from the site. When he got called on it he backtracked and claimed he was at a different site where Alliance fighters were accidently killed.

But oops, that incident was days after his report.

What an ass!

Jeff
What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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post #29 of 29
[quote]Fox is the most sensationalist network on television. They over-hype everything and spin everything as if it's a matter of life and death. They suck the worst, plain and simple.

MSNBC suffers from the same disease although not to the same extent.<hr></blockquote>

I find it hard to form an opinion of MSNBC. I never seem to find news on the network when I turn it on. It's all Headliners and Legends, or one of 50,000 magazine shows. September 11th seemed to be the only day when there was someone present in the news department.

It's not like CNBC, where they have a legitimate reason to stop showing business news during certain times of certain days (when the markets are closed) and they can get away with showing some excellent National Geographic Explorer eps.
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