Okay, I DO like people. Most people, actually. But there's that small inconsiderate, buttheaded segment of the population that just makes the world (and life) tougher than it has to be.
I've had a wonderful relaxing Sunday. Chilling out, crosswords, surfing, reading, playing guitar, talking to friends back home on the phone, etc.
I knew I needed to make a "Target run" for some stuff before the night was over.
I go there and I have my stuff and I'm checking out. First, I've been in line FOR-FÜCKING-EVER because the cashier is slower than maple syrup and is just SLOOOOOOOOWLY running stuff through of the person in front of me, stopping to comment on the packaging, the price, how SHE uses it, etc.
7 hours later, I'm finally next. Guess what? The credit/debit machine is busted. The lady KNOWS this, but she proceeds to attempt a McGyver-inspired repair job with an ink pen and a few well-placed whacks with the heel of her hand.
Mind you, the line behind me is quite long and thick (heehee...I said "long and thick...").
Basically, I suddenly remembered I had $40 cash tucked away in my wallet from last week and I said "listen, forget it...let me just pay cash. That cool?".
Okay. What HUMAN BEING would not have said, "oh, okay...great. Sorry for the inconvenience..." and took MY MONEY. This lady? She INSISTS on continuing to fück with the machine, EVEN THOUGH I'M STANDING THERE WAVING MONEY IN HER FACE!
Long story short, she FINALLY takes my cash. Doesn't say "thank you", "come again", "kiss my ass", "have a glorious day", etc.
Twit.
So now I'm out and I'm hungry and I dart over to Rubio's (for those of you not in SoCal, Rubio's is a Baja California fish taco place: Mexican stuff, but with a seafood angle...kinda upper-middle fast food. Better than Taco Bell, but not quite a full-tilt "sit down" restaurant either).
I'm walking to the door and this lady, coming from the other direction just SPRINTS to the door, as if she doesn't get fed in 20 seconds, she'd done for. She sprinted for the door ONLY after looking up and seeing me and obviously thinking "hey, I can't let this guy in from of me...that would be wrong!". We basically crash into each other, her ramming into my shoulder in her haste to beat me inside. This isn't some stupid 15-year-old either. This is an adult, well into her 40's.
Does she say "Excuse me?" or "I'm sorry!". Why, of course not. That would be too expected.
After that sterling example of speed, I expected she'd be a Rubio's regular: "2 fish tacos, lobster combo, salsa on the side, beans, hold the rice and a Corona...".
NOOOOOOOOOOO.
It's the asshole's FIRST TIME. So while she's standing there looking at the menu the way I look at poetry (slightly impressed, but not really knowing what to truly make of it all), the girl behind the counter (who saw the NFL-level door block moments earlier) is looking at me like "Dude, I'm sorry...".
This lady, after damn near dislocating my shoulder to beat me to the counter to order first DOESN'T HAVE THE FAINTEST IDEA what she wants, where she is, what a lobster is and how it fits on a burrito, etc.
She's bitching to the cashier about the price, asking every stupid question a human could possibly muster, bitching about the font on the menu being to small to read, etc.
AND SHE HASN'T EVEN ORDERED YET!!!
I swear to God, I almost kicked her in the back of the head.
She finally said to the girl behind the counter "what's in the lobster burrito?".
At this point, emboldened with anger and a sore shoulder, I uncharacteristically chime in "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say...lobster?".
She turns around and goes "but what else?".
She doesn't even know that I'm fücking with her.
Finally, after a good 9 minutes (honest to God), I get to order and get my food and head home.
I stop at the gas station to top of my car.
I walk in and there's a line of people, 7 deep. The cashier? Oh, she's TALKING ON THE GODDAMN PHONE AND IGNORING EVERYONE!
Finally, she starts acting like an employee and serving the customers (hey, I was shocked too!) and the dumbass in front of me buys $12 worth of gas with NICKELS AND PENNIES.
NICKELS AND PENNIES. Let me say that again: $12 worth of gas with NICKELS AND PENNIES.
I stood in there for a good 4-5 minutes while dumbass and surly cashier chick count it all out. TWICE.
Finally, I get my gas and go home.
Basically, guys, what SHOULD have been a 45 minute trip turned into almost 90 minutes. Add up the time screwing around with the idiot from Target, the lady from Rubio's and the dynamic duo of Dumbass Coin Boy and Phone Talker Cashier and there's a good 30 minutes or so of my life wasted.
Wasted, NOT for any good reason (like flirting or smooching or anything), but because the world is crawling with dumbasses who a) don't know how to act themselves, b) treat other people and c) well, I can't think of a "c", but I'm sure I could.
Here's a tip for you guys, in case you're either IN or CONTRIBUTING TO the above scenarios:
1. If you're working a cash register, be quick. Be polite and personable, if you want, but be quick and efficient. DO NOT read and comment on the products being purchased, ESPECIALLY if there is a line of 9-12 people all waiting. Secondly, if your stupid credit/debit machine is broken and the customer offers you good cash money to expedite things, TAKE IT. The people behind me have better things to do than watch you bang around on a machine you're obviously not qualified to fix.
2. If you're out in public and you're REALLY hungry, do not make it a habit of sprinting and lunging past others, possibly causing injury. Certainly causing anger and resentment. I hate to sound mean, but to that lady who busted in front of me at Rubios: "I hope your debut experience with a lobster burrito leaves you with cramps and a serious case of the screaming shits for 2-3 days. You deserve it, asshole. Happy crapping.
3. If you're going to purchase anything over, say $1.15, DO NOT PAY WITH COINS! Do you know how long it takes to count out $12 worth of nickels and pennies? Yeah, I didn't think so. DON'T DO IT!
Okay, there.
I feel SO much better. I just had to vent, get this off my chest.
Mods, you can even close this. I don't care. I just had to share my crappy, one-lame-scenario-after-another evening with all my buddies here.
Hey, Macworld is tomorrow!!!
YOWSAH!!!
I've had a wonderful relaxing Sunday. Chilling out, crosswords, surfing, reading, playing guitar, talking to friends back home on the phone, etc.
I knew I needed to make a "Target run" for some stuff before the night was over.
I go there and I have my stuff and I'm checking out. First, I've been in line FOR-FÜCKING-EVER because the cashier is slower than maple syrup and is just SLOOOOOOOOWLY running stuff through of the person in front of me, stopping to comment on the packaging, the price, how SHE uses it, etc.
7 hours later, I'm finally next. Guess what? The credit/debit machine is busted. The lady KNOWS this, but she proceeds to attempt a McGyver-inspired repair job with an ink pen and a few well-placed whacks with the heel of her hand.
Mind you, the line behind me is quite long and thick (heehee...I said "long and thick...").
Basically, I suddenly remembered I had $40 cash tucked away in my wallet from last week and I said "listen, forget it...let me just pay cash. That cool?".
Okay. What HUMAN BEING would not have said, "oh, okay...great. Sorry for the inconvenience..." and took MY MONEY. This lady? She INSISTS on continuing to fück with the machine, EVEN THOUGH I'M STANDING THERE WAVING MONEY IN HER FACE!
Long story short, she FINALLY takes my cash. Doesn't say "thank you", "come again", "kiss my ass", "have a glorious day", etc.
Twit.
So now I'm out and I'm hungry and I dart over to Rubio's (for those of you not in SoCal, Rubio's is a Baja California fish taco place: Mexican stuff, but with a seafood angle...kinda upper-middle fast food. Better than Taco Bell, but not quite a full-tilt "sit down" restaurant either).
I'm walking to the door and this lady, coming from the other direction just SPRINTS to the door, as if she doesn't get fed in 20 seconds, she'd done for. She sprinted for the door ONLY after looking up and seeing me and obviously thinking "hey, I can't let this guy in from of me...that would be wrong!". We basically crash into each other, her ramming into my shoulder in her haste to beat me inside. This isn't some stupid 15-year-old either. This is an adult, well into her 40's.
Does she say "Excuse me?" or "I'm sorry!". Why, of course not. That would be too expected.
After that sterling example of speed, I expected she'd be a Rubio's regular: "2 fish tacos, lobster combo, salsa on the side, beans, hold the rice and a Corona...".
NOOOOOOOOOOO.
It's the asshole's FIRST TIME. So while she's standing there looking at the menu the way I look at poetry (slightly impressed, but not really knowing what to truly make of it all), the girl behind the counter (who saw the NFL-level door block moments earlier) is looking at me like "Dude, I'm sorry...".
This lady, after damn near dislocating my shoulder to beat me to the counter to order first DOESN'T HAVE THE FAINTEST IDEA what she wants, where she is, what a lobster is and how it fits on a burrito, etc.
She's bitching to the cashier about the price, asking every stupid question a human could possibly muster, bitching about the font on the menu being to small to read, etc.
AND SHE HASN'T EVEN ORDERED YET!!!
I swear to God, I almost kicked her in the back of the head.
She finally said to the girl behind the counter "what's in the lobster burrito?".
At this point, emboldened with anger and a sore shoulder, I uncharacteristically chime in "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say...lobster?".
She turns around and goes "but what else?".
She doesn't even know that I'm fücking with her.
Finally, after a good 9 minutes (honest to God), I get to order and get my food and head home.
I stop at the gas station to top of my car.
I walk in and there's a line of people, 7 deep. The cashier? Oh, she's TALKING ON THE GODDAMN PHONE AND IGNORING EVERYONE!
Finally, she starts acting like an employee and serving the customers (hey, I was shocked too!) and the dumbass in front of me buys $12 worth of gas with NICKELS AND PENNIES.
NICKELS AND PENNIES. Let me say that again: $12 worth of gas with NICKELS AND PENNIES.
I stood in there for a good 4-5 minutes while dumbass and surly cashier chick count it all out. TWICE.
Finally, I get my gas and go home.
Basically, guys, what SHOULD have been a 45 minute trip turned into almost 90 minutes. Add up the time screwing around with the idiot from Target, the lady from Rubio's and the dynamic duo of Dumbass Coin Boy and Phone Talker Cashier and there's a good 30 minutes or so of my life wasted.
Wasted, NOT for any good reason (like flirting or smooching or anything), but because the world is crawling with dumbasses who a) don't know how to act themselves, b) treat other people and c) well, I can't think of a "c", but I'm sure I could.
Here's a tip for you guys, in case you're either IN or CONTRIBUTING TO the above scenarios:
1. If you're working a cash register, be quick. Be polite and personable, if you want, but be quick and efficient. DO NOT read and comment on the products being purchased, ESPECIALLY if there is a line of 9-12 people all waiting. Secondly, if your stupid credit/debit machine is broken and the customer offers you good cash money to expedite things, TAKE IT. The people behind me have better things to do than watch you bang around on a machine you're obviously not qualified to fix.
2. If you're out in public and you're REALLY hungry, do not make it a habit of sprinting and lunging past others, possibly causing injury. Certainly causing anger and resentment. I hate to sound mean, but to that lady who busted in front of me at Rubios: "I hope your debut experience with a lobster burrito leaves you with cramps and a serious case of the screaming shits for 2-3 days. You deserve it, asshole. Happy crapping.
3. If you're going to purchase anything over, say $1.15, DO NOT PAY WITH COINS! Do you know how long it takes to count out $12 worth of nickels and pennies? Yeah, I didn't think so. DON'T DO IT!
Okay, there.
I feel SO much better. I just had to vent, get this off my chest.
Mods, you can even close this. I don't care. I just had to share my crappy, one-lame-scenario-after-another evening with all my buddies here.
Hey, Macworld is tomorrow!!!
YOWSAH!!!
)
