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American D-Bag of the Century Award!

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I want to thank the academy for instituting this award on the behalf of normal common folk everywhere, and to Groverat, whose recent thread about basketball reminded me that the time for this award is long overdue. And now...without any further delay...

...the American Douche Bag of the 20th Century IS...


MARK CUBAN, in a landslide!

*wild applause and pandamonium ensues*


Runners up were Jerry Springer, Rupert Murdoch, Dennis Rodman and the various mayors of Berkley California...but not necessarily in that order.


Stay tuned next century when Mark Cuban defends his title against new comers Osama Bin Laden (sure he's not American, but his d-baggedness transcends nationality and all other boundaries, real or imagined) and of course, the lead singer for an as-yet-unnamed boy-toy band ('N'Sync was child's play compared to this band)!

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ]

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ]</p>
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post #2 of 19
Why no love for Mark Cuban.

He is my hero!

(Of course, as a die-hard Mavericks fan I'm more than a little biased.)
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post #3 of 19
What praytell are the requirements for being a douschebag?
post #4 of 19
[quote]Originally posted by groverat:

<strong>Why no love for Mark Cuban.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

I like Mark Cuban too.
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post #5 of 19
I started out liking the guy for being outspoken and funny, but he's gone off the deep end into self-indulgent Dennis Rodman territory, doing things just to provoke. It's like he thinks "Hmmm, I said those controversial things before and everybody loved me, so maybe I should start saying the most outlanding stuff I can think of."

What's the first thing people think of when you say "Dallas Mavericks?" That's right, Mark Cuban. He's become the whole show down there.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the guy. I just think his act has become a bit self-conscious and publicity-oriented.
post #6 of 19
Mark Cuban is Mark Cuban, I don't really compare him to Dennis Rodman since his manner isn't at all disruptive.

He doesn't say things to get fined, he just gets heavily fined because the NBA suits hate him and he refuses to be a stuff-shirted greybeard.

One of his first fines was for sitting on the floor near the bench! He's the OWNER for God's sake, why can't he sit anywhere he wants aside from the court itself?

He acts like a normal human being and gets fined for it. He's not a 60 year old from a family of historical wealth so they hate him, it's that simple.

David Stern can suck my fat Texan wang.
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post #7 of 19
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by sizzle chest:
<strong>I started out liking the guy for being outspoken and funny, but he's gone off the deep end into self-indulgent Dennis Rodman territory, doing things just to provoke. </strong><hr></blockquote>


Exactly. You know, I thought maybe he was just trying to be another Pat Croce (or whatever the owner of the 76ers name is)...just very outgoing and liked to do a lot of crazy shit, in part to get an up-and-coming team some media attention in the era of Shaq-fu-shnikens. But the more I watched Cuban the more he reminded me a little spoiled child who would do anything to get people's attention. It's sad that the Mavericks is more about him than about the players - [at least to most outsiders].

Then that time when he ran out onto the floor and pretended like he was going to kick someone's ass...that was just pathetic and comical at the same time. An owner with even an OUNCE of personal integrity would never do something like that. It's called being a professional and representing your team with some class - that's his job, and he doesn't do it very well. Personally I wished he had taken a swing at one of those players and gotten his ass kicked all over the floor. Might've done him some good.

In short, he's Dennis Rodman without the wedding dresses and tatoos. He just gets his attention in other ways. Really lame ways if you ask me.

I don't like David Stern much (and it's no secret that some NBA games are rigged in one way or another to get the desired outcome and TV drama) but I like Cuban even less. Gives the game a bad name to my way of thinking. Between guys like him and Allen Iverson and Latreen Sprewell I don't even like the game anymore. Too many self-indulgent punks.

Now hockey...THERE's a team game with some attitude. I'd rather have a beer with Darien Hatcher vs. Dirk Nivitsky anyday!

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ]</p>
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post #8 of 19
Cuban didn't charge onto the court to kick anyone's ass, he came out onto the court because there was a scuffle involving his players.

And this isn't your regular businessman, he made his billions selling Broadcast.Com to Yahoo! and played rugby for 15 years (which might do a little bit of explaining as to why he felt like defending his players).

His fines have been the result of idiotic action by the NBA. He said "I'm sure he was a great ref, but I wouldn't hire him to manage a Dairy Queen." - $500,000 fine for that?

He's a good guy.
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post #9 of 19
[quote]Originally posted by Moogs :
<strong>I want to thank the academy for instituting this award on the behalf of normal common folk everywhere, and to Groverat, whose recent thread about basketball reminded me that the time for this award is long overdue. And now...without any further delay...

...the American Douche Bag of the 20th Century IS...


MARK CUBAN, in a landslide!

*wild applause and pandamonium ensues*


Runners up were Jerry Springer, Rupert Murdoch, Dennis Rodman and the various mayors of Berkley California...but not necessarily in that order.


Stay tuned next century when Mark Cuban defends his title against new comers Osama Bin Laden (sure he's not American, but his d-baggedness transcends nationality and all other boundaries, real or imagined) and of course, the lead singer for an as-yet-unnamed boy-toy band ('N'Sync was child's play compared to this band)!

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ]

[ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Mark Cuban? You're a man after my heart. I was just complaining about that rodent today.

Go to dairyqueen.com

How about Bobby Knight?
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post #10 of 19
I have no idea what any of you polpel are talking about. Maybe I should pay maore attntion.
post #11 of 19
The NBA gets more and more bland every year. There are no real personalities (outside of guys fighting to "get theirs,")
and, despite rules changes, the gameplay itself is still 90% numbing (and I'm as passionate about basketball as anyone I know.)

The league was intruging in the Bird/Magic era because they were on the best teams, and the teams HATED each other.
The Pistons were great because EVERYONE hated them.
The Bulls had Jordan, the arguably the best and most dramatic player ever.

Now? Despite a ton of hugely talented stars, and Jordan's return, the league's popularity is still declining fast.

The NBA needs stories. Cuban is one. He's an average guy who won part of the .com lottery, so he bought a sports team. He has none of the other owners political agenda, so he has fun and speaks his mind! One of the bests things that could happen for the league is for the Mavs to become a real, long-term rival to the Lakers, with Cuban vs. the old guard at the center of it all.

Jeff

Edit: PS-he matches his fines with donations to charity, which is where they go in the first place.

[ 01-16-2002: Message edited by: jeffyboy ]</p>
What are you up to, Norm?

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post #12 of 19
I want a Mark Cuban Blizzard!!!!

Sure he's a maniac, but he's done a lot of good for the game. Dallas is a much better team with him as the owner. Plus all his fines goto charity.
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post #13 of 19
[quote]Originally posted by i am monkey:
<strong>I want a Mark Cuban Blizzard!!!!

Sure he's a maniac, but he's done a lot of good for the game. Dallas is a much better team with him as the owner. Plus all his fines goto charity.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Can you believe that DQ thing? I was looking to see if they still had their $2.99 lunch specials and I saw that. I about choked.
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post #14 of 19
Who's Mark Cuban?
post #15 of 19
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by pscates:
<strong>Who's Mark Cuban?</strong><hr></blockquote>


*lol* I think 'cates and cdhostage have the right perspective...I wish I didn't know who Mark Cuban was.

But seriously Groverat, do you see other owners or GM's running onto the floor when players get into a fight? You could be right - it might've just been his rugby instincts but more likely he was just getting himself in the spotlights again. Did that "it's the rugby player in me" come out as his excuse afterwards, or is that just something you know about him in general?

If nothing else, the guy knows what will get his mug on television - again and again. Which of course is one of the ever-evolving criteria for the prestigious ADBOC award.

And someone mentioned Bobby Knight. I have to say that were he a little less transparent, he might be in the running. Clearly he has a big ego and thinks he's special to the extent that certain standards shouldn't apply to him - so he qualifies in that regard. But in general, I think Bobby is just an a-hole, plain and simple. It's a fine line of distinction between a-hole and d-bag, I realize...but the judges have to draw the lines somewhere!

I'll admit he has done a good job of making sure his kids graduate over the years, which is the main thing that disqualifies him from the ADBOC award...but his behavior is rarely befitting of his title, so he and Cuban definitely have that in common. The thing that really separates them is that Cuban *wants* all the media frenzy he can get...Knight probably wishes the media was banned from interviewing him - or maybe dead. I think their motivations are quite different, even if the end result is similar.

[ 01-16-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ]</p>
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post #16 of 19
[quote]But seriously Groverat, do you see other owners or GM's running onto the floor when players get into a fight?<hr></blockquote>

Coaches do it all the time. Is Jeff van Gundy a spotlight hungry moron?

I'll tell you why other owners don't, they're fat old rich men sitting up in luxury boxes.

He's not a typical NBA owner, guilty as charged. That's a good thing, in my opinion.

[quote]Did that "it's the rugby player in me" come out as his excuse afterwards, or is that just something you know about him in general?<hr></blockquote>

I don't remember him making any excuses for it, I believe he got fined for saying it was stupid for him to get fined for it.

The rugby thing is something mentioned in his bios.

[quote]If nothing else, the guy knows what will get his mug on television - again and again. Which of course is one of the ever-evolving criteria for the prestigious ADBOC award.<hr></blockquote>

The media loves a good story. I don't know how everything he does would be pre-meditated to this end; getting publicity. Seems a like a billionaire .commer could get all the publicity he likes without antics.

[quote]And someone mentioned Bobby Knight. I have to say that were he a little less transparent, he might be in the running.<hr></blockquote>

Bobby Knight chokes players, they're on a different level. He's a pissed off, violent old guy.

[quote]Clearly he has a big ego and thinks he's special to the extent that certain standards shouldn't apply to him - so he qualifies in that regard.<hr></blockquote>

Sometimes rules shouldn't be there in the first place. Owners should be allowed to sit with their goddam teams.

[quote]The thing that really separates them is that Cuban *wants* all the media frenzy he can get...<hr></blockquote>

I'm sure he likes the exposure for the Mavericks or whatever, but I don't get the impression that he's a mediawhore. You are entitled to your opinion, of course.
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post #17 of 19
Thread Starter 
[quote]
Coaches do it all the time. Is Jeff van Gundy a spotlight hungry moron?<hr></blockquote>

No, I just think Jeff genuinely lacked sound judgement at times. Although I will say the "Chief Triangle" press conference back in the Bulls' heyday was one of the funnier NBA moments I can recall.

Here is a man who truly lets his emotions get the better of him. I guess what I'm saying is, I think Cuban's emotions are manufactured for the most part, whereas guys like Knight or VanGundy for all their faults, are at least being genuine. Cuban's just so...I dunno...over-the-top in the way he acts and speaks at times that you know its for the cameras. Spontaneous he ain't; at least it doesn't look that way based on my years of human interaction.


[quote]I'll tell you why other owners don't, they're fat old rich men sitting up in luxury boxes.<hr></blockquote>

Granted, and very true in general (all sports). Bill Wirtz, owner of the Chicago Blackhawks is the poster-child for out-of-touch-old-fuks who don't run great franchises the way they should. If I could get 10 minutes along with that POS, I might just be able to terrorize him into selling the team to someone who knows what the hell he's doing...despite this year's decent squad.


Either way, though I refuse to strip Cuban of this righteous award. He's still earned it, IMO.

[ 01-16-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ]</p>
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post #18 of 19
UPDATE:

[quote]
COPPELL, Texas -- Hundreds of people surrounded a suburban Dallas Dairy Queen on Wednesday to be served lunch by billionaire Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban.


Wearing a navy blue denim shirt and a manager's badge with the name Tony printed in it, Cuban took orders, made change and pumped his own soft-serve ice cream cones.


"It might not be pretty, but it works," Cuban said with a smile and a wink as he handed the treat to a happy customer.


Cuban was making good on a promise to the fast-food chain to manage one of its restaurants for a day to see how hard the job is. The company's challenge came in response to Cuban's criticism of the NBA's head of officiating: "I wouldn't hire him to manage a Dairy Queen."


The league fined Cuban $500,000 for the comment, the largest against an individual in NBA history.


He left the high-level work, such as making the company's trademark Blizzard, to more experienced employees.


"This is the best thing to happen to Dairy Queen since the invention of the Blizzard 16 years ago," said Dean Peters, the company's head spokesman, who traveled from the Minneapolis headquarters to be part of the event.


Fans and customers began lining up hours in advance. A carnival atmosphere surrounded the store, with inflatable play areas for children, portable basketball games and more than a dozen television and radio stations broadcast live. One TV station even flew its helicopter for an overhead view. The store was handing out free ice cream.


The first customer ordered a strawberry blizzard. "I came here to join in on the festivities," said James Kelly, who had Cuban autograph a $1 million bill

<hr></blockquote>
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post #19 of 19
Thread Starter 
At least he went ahead and worked at the DQ with a smile on his face. Maybe I should ask the academy to institute a human-side-show award and let him battle it out with Pat Croce and that crazy bastard from the Discovery channel who molests crocodiles and other large reptiles for a living. "CRAHYGEE!"

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