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Masturbation - Page 3

post #81 of 133
Moanique, see my previous post about frustration.
IBL!
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IBL!
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post #82 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Matsu:
<strong>Moanique, see my previous post about frustration. </strong><hr></blockquote>

Matsu you are not very nice with her, like me you have the right to don't agree with her , not to try to turn her in a ridiculous way.
post #83 of 133
Yeah, Matsu! Be nice!

powerdoc is a doctor, he knows what he's talking about.

My only true evidence that women *can* have orgasms during sex would be an interview with Eskimo's mother.

*shuffles off quietly*
proud resident of a failed state
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post #84 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by groverat:
<strong>

My only true evidence that women *can* have orgasms during sex would be an interview with Eskimo's mother.

*shuffles off quietly*</strong><hr></blockquote>

post #85 of 133
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef strokinoff <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> ok let the flames fly!
"Blessed is the rebel..for without him there would be no progress"
Hugh Hefner
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"Blessed is the rebel..for without him there would be no progress"
Hugh Hefner
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post #86 of 133
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Robertp:
<strong>What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef strokinoff <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> ok let the flames fly!</strong><hr></blockquote>

<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
post #87 of 133
There's so much nonsense spoken about the female orgasm. It's all about rubbing the right bit in the right way, and so obviously it's going to be easier for many women to do it themselves using their hands (Uh, or some form of battery-powered assistance).

However, it's entirely possible for a man to rub the right bit in the right way, and often (*gasp*) with his little soldier*. It's just a matter of taking the time to work it all out. That's half the fun! It's recreational sex, so if you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong somewhere.
[quote]Originally posted by groverat:
<strong>My only true evidence that women *can* have orgasms during sex would be an interview with Eskimo's mother.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Eskimo, want me to kick my foil's ass?

[* Thought I ought to set an example and keep it clean. No jokes about saluting, please.]

[ 02-28-2002: Message edited by: Belle ]</p>
Chicanery.
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Chicanery.
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post #88 of 133
Hey, if Eskimo (and everyone else at OI) can joke about sleeping with my girlfriend, surely I can make a few references to the wonderful nights I've spent with his red-hot mother (and cousin).

p.s. - ATTEN-SHUN!
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post #89 of 133
Oh no, BRussell, scientists have captured the elusive <a href="http://www.theonion.com/onion3537/male_orgasm.html" target="_blank">male orgasm</a> on tape!

(*warning* - The link is semi-naughty. If you moderators think it's inappropriate then feel free to delete the URL.)
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post #90 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by groverat:
<strong>Hey, if Eskimo (and everyone else at OI) can joke about sleeping with my girlfriend, surely I can make a few references to the wonderful nights I've spent with his red-hot mother (and cousin).</strong><hr></blockquote>
Ah, there is a difference. As far as I'm aware, only the entire membership of OI, the crew of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, all players involved in the 2001 AFC Central division (and several referees), and the Boy Scouts of Chattanooga have slept with Eskimo's mom.

Even I've slept with your girlfriend.
[quote]<strong>p.s. - ATTEN-SHUN!</strong><hr></blockquote>
Watch it, bucko.
Chicanery.
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post #91 of 133
[quote]Even I've slept with your girlfriend.
<hr></blockquote>

and I have the tape to prove it!

Howdy Grover! hehe
<a href="http://www.toolband.com" target="_blank">www.toolband.com</a>
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post #92 of 133
[quote]Even I've slept with your girlfriend.<hr></blockquote>

I demand the videotaped evidence for my... uhh... perusal... and stuff.

I don't know if that was supposed to get to me, Belle, because that wouldn't even upset me.
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post #93 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by groverat:
<strong>I don't know if that was supposed to get to me, Belle, because that wouldn't even upset me. </strong><hr></blockquote>
Why would I want to upset my favorite foil?

Actually, reading my post, I think the lovely Eskimo has more reason to be aggrieved. Uh, or his mom...
Chicanery.
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Chicanery.
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post #94 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Belle:
[Ah, there is a difference. As far as I'm aware, only the entire membership of OI, the crew of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, all players involved in the 2001 AFC Central division (and several referees), and the Boy Scouts of Chattanooga have slept with Eskimo's mom.<hr></blockquote>

Hey! My son is one of those "Boy Scouts of Chattanooga"! No wonder he was so anxious to go on the Camp-o-ree last fall! And why didn't the little creep invite me? <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> I sure hope he remembered to "be prepared."
"Mathematics is the language with which God has written the Universe" - Galileo Galilei
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"Mathematics is the language with which God has written the Universe" - Galileo Galilei
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post #95 of 133
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Belle:
<strong>

There's so much nonsense spoken about the female orgasm. &lt;snip blah&gt; (Uh, or some form of battery-powered assistance).
</strong><hr></blockquote>

Talking of battery-powered assistance, has anyone been in a sex shop recently?? I was *cough* dragged *cough* into an <a href="http://www.annsummers.co.uk" target="_blank">Ann Summers</a> shop and was amazed at the variety of stuff they had for women!!

I was most impressed by a tiny vibrator which was disguised as an ickle lipstick. So next time your wife/girlfriend/bitch goes to the bathroom to "re-apply her lipstick", time her.

J :cool:
post #96 of 133
Thread Starter 
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> While <a href="http://forums.appleinsider.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=6&t=000625" target="_blank">Googlewhacking</a> I found this page: <a href="http://www.xandria.com/learn/sextalk/sextalk22.shtml" target="_blank">Masturbation for Beginners</a>. I thought it might be useful to some of the girlies out there!

J :cool:
post #97 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Jamie:
<strong> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> While <a href="http://forums.appleinsider.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=6&t=000625" target="_blank">Googlewhacking</a> I found this page: <a href="http://www.xandria.com/learn/sextalk/sextalk22.shtml" target="_blank">Masturbation for Beginners</a>.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Hmm. Jamie, you do understand that Googlewhacking doesn't involve any kind of physical whacking, right?
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post #98 of 133
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Belle:
<strong>
Hmm. Jamie, you do understand that Googlewhacking doesn't involve any kind of physical whacking, right? </strong><hr></blockquote>

What?! :confused: <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> I thought that was whole idea??! Search Google and whack off at the same time? No? Damn.

It's no wonder the people in my office were giving me disapproving looks.

J :cool:

[ 03-03-2002: Message edited by: Jamie ]</p>
post #99 of 133
Why didn't my post show up, WTF???

Anyway, thank you for your insight Xidius.

Gotta love the ol' "wrestling the trouser snake" thread. It's about time it was brought back
I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
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I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
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post #100 of 133
Wow, talk about digging up old threads...

and dear god, these are my moderators...
post #101 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Jonathan:
<strong>Wow, talk about digging up old threads...

and dear god, these are my moderators...</strong><hr></blockquote>

Jonathan, how silly you are
post #102 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Jonathan:
<strong>Wow, talk about digging up old threads...

and dear god, these are my moderators...</strong><hr></blockquote>

Yeah, I thought that was wierd too, especially because when I logged on while drinking my Sunkist breakfast, this was up towards the top of the threads, but had no new posts. I just figured UBB threw up or something...
post #103 of 133
so i take it it's officially ok to have sexual content in AO?

i believe that question may have come up in the suggestions thread -kudos-.

guess this was someone's idea of an affirmative.
post #104 of 133
Well...you know the old saying...
You're a liar if you say you don't and a fool if you say you do.
"Sex is o.k. but it's hard to beat the real thing"

People have been beating their meat for centuries, its quite normal...



[ 07-11-2002: Message edited by: MiMac ]</p>
post #105 of 133
Thread Starter 
Oh my, I thought this thread was long gone! <img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />

J :cool:
post #106 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Jamie:
<strong>Oh my, I thought this thread was long gone! <img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />

J :cool: </strong><hr></blockquote>

It looks like it will die again if nobody else confessses to "yanking their plank."
I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
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I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
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post #107 of 133
My personal favorite...

boxin' the clown!
"What buzz? What the $*#@ is the internet?!" - Jay
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"What buzz? What the $*#@ is the internet?!" - Jay
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post #108 of 133
As a cyclist, I am often forced to
"pull my crank," purely for maintenance purposes.
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
Thoth
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No. Jump good.
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You can fly?!?
No. Jump good.
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post #109 of 133
Jane:

I'm sorry if the men in your life do not satisfy you, but I really disagree with your comments. I am very sure that my wife achieves orgasm with me. We communicate very well and over the years she has taught me what she likes.

I suspect the average one night stand guy is not going to work too hard to satisfy a girl, but those of us with strong affection for our partners do.
Grandma yelled, "Praise Gawd!".

From "The Grapes of Wrath"
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Grandma yelled, "Praise Gawd!".

From "The Grapes of Wrath"
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post #110 of 133
[quote] Originally posted by Jane:
At least in Europe men respect women and they do not talk down to women. <hr></blockquote>

[quote]Originally posted by BuonRotto:
<strong>
Certainly not true in Italy and Switzerland at least. Back to your regularly scheduled thread. </strong><hr></blockquote>

Not quite... <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
post #111 of 133
ah, BTW, I choke the bishop almost every day... <img src="graemlins/embarrassed.gif" border="0" alt="[Embarrassed]" />
post #112 of 133
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Defiant:
<strong>ah, BTW, I choke the bishop almost every day... <img src="graemlins/embarrassed.gif" border="0" alt="[Embarrassed]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>

Only once? :confused: <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" />
post #113 of 133
Don't forget that until recently women didn't even know what masturbation was. They just knew doing somethings were a lot better then others.

The historic women and their horses is an example.

~Kuku
post #114 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Jamie:
<strong>

Only once? :confused: <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>

alright, after BIG pressure from Jamie I have to say; it is more than that...

up to 3 times a day
post #115 of 133
I've been known to tame the one-eyed snake on occasion.
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~Winner of the Official 2003 AppleInsider NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Pool~
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post #116 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Kuku:
<strong>Don't forget that until recently women didn't even know what masturbation was. They just knew doing somethings were a lot better then others.

The historic women and their horses is an example.

~Kuku</strong><hr></blockquote>This is the first time I've looked in on this thread. I read this post. I don't think I'll come back.
<img src="confused.gif" border="0">
post #117 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by BRussell:
<strong>This is the first time I've looked in on this thread. I read this post. I don't think I'll come back.
:confused: </strong><hr></blockquote>

ah, c'mon !
post #118 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Matsu:
<strong>Ok, everybody does it, but how often?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Guess what I'm doing? No, really guess. Wrong, drinking a Dr. Pepper and getting ready to go to the Mexican restaurant for dinner. I really need this expo to come and go so I can buy some new computers. Thing is, I need to know what they are coming out with so I know if I need to hold off more or not.

PS, Masturbation is something which is just too dull to talk about. I don't have anything funny to say either. (which is kinda odd!)
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post #119 of 133
[quote]Originally posted by Defiant:
<strong>ah, c'mon !</strong><hr></blockquote>OK, you caught me. Just this once, though.
post #120 of 133
Anyone see "The Road to Wellville"? "I feel a smile coming on."

Anyway, how about:
Hitchiking under the bigtop
Hanging with Rosy Palm and her five daughters
flogging the log (might've been said already)

<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
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