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Commentators say the darndest things

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Pat Glenn - Weightlifting Commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria...I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."

Murray Walker: "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."

Greg Norman: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

Alan Minter: "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing -- but none of them serious."

Terry Venables: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again"

Ron Atkinson: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it... you can see it all over their faces."

Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."

Metro Radio: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics: "There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."

US tv commentator: "One of the reasons Arnold Palmer is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...Oh my God, what have I just said?"
I can change my sig again!
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I can change my sig again!
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post #2 of 11
Why has this been all over the friggin' intarweb lately?
proud resident of a failed state
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proud resident of a failed state
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post #3 of 11
Maybe cause it's funny, ya bastard!
post #4 of 11
Could have sworn I posted these a few months ago...

Funny as hell though man!
post #5 of 11
Heard about the weatherman who predicted a big snow storm that never materialized? On the next night's news program, the segway to the weather report was a classic. The pretty young female news anchor turned to the weather desk, and asks, "Well, Dick, what happened to that 8 inches you promised me last night?" The entire set howled in laughter, and someone had the sense to break for commercials.
post #6 of 11
The Arnold Palmer one is an urban legend that originated with a joke Johnny Carson once made on the "Tonight Show."

<a href="http://www.snopes2.com/radiotv/tv/palmer.htm" target="_blank">http://www.snopes2.com/radiotv/tv/palmer.htm</a>
Why am I whispering?
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Why am I whispering?
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post #7 of 11
Thanks, I needed a good laugh. Supposed to get my G4 400 I bought on ebay today and I STILL haven't received it. Even worse, I didn't check which version of OSX was on it when I purchased it and I realize its only OSX 10.0. Now I have to go out and spend over $100 on 10.1! OK, now I'm upset again. Say something to make me laugh...............
post #8 of 11
Some other classics:

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields

"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca

"A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn

"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper
in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-Batman costume warning label

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-parish magazine

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

"I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor

The world is more like it is now then it ever has been before.
-Dwight Eisenhower

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.
-Sen. Chris Dodd (D, Conn.) on campaigning

If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
-Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, Thank God, I'm still alive. But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
-Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, Calif.)

Joey Bishop (talk-show host): Would you like to become a regular on the show?
Barry Goldwater: No, thank you. I'd much rather watch you in bed with my wife.

You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy!
-President Bill Clinton, looking at the recently-discovered Inca mummy 'Juanita'

You can't just let nature run wild.
-Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska

I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity.
-Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

Dan Quayle (extending his hand during a campaign stop): I'm Dan Quayle. Who are you?
Woman: I'm your Secret Service agent.

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment,
it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle

"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that
is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well,
all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
-Dan Quayle

"It is wonderful to be here today in the great state of Chicago."
- Dan Quayle

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind.
Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-Dan Quayle


<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

[ 03-02-2002: Message edited by: The Blue Meanie ]</p>
--
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All wor k and no play makes Jack a dull boyy
Alll work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
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--
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All wor k and no play makes Jack a dull boyy
Alll work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Reply
post #9 of 11
Well come on, spell potatoe for us.
IBL!
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IBL!
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post #10 of 11
[quote]Originally posted by Gregg:
<strong>Heard about the weatherman who predicted a big snow storm that never materialized? On the next night's news program, the segway to the weather report was a classic. The pretty young female news anchor turned to the weather desk, and asks, "Well, Dick, what happened to that 8 inches you promised me last night?" The entire set howled in laughter, and someone had the sense to break for commercials.</strong><hr></blockquote>


<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

You made that up, right?
<img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
Aldo is watching....
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Aldo is watching....
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post #11 of 11
[quote]Originally posted by Moogs :
<strong>


<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

You made that up, right?
<img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>

I didn't make it up. I picked it up from somewhere. It could be fact, could be fiction. It's funny either way.

One that happened here... We have a suburb called Whitefish Bay. A news anchor called it "Whitefolks Bay" on the air. No need to explain.
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