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If Steve Jobs was the US president?

post #1 of 22
3/28/10 at 12:15pm
Thread Starter 
in lieu on SpotOn's comment on the "Apple's Steve Jobs named world's most valuable CEO" thread I'm starting this thread for people to vent their politics, hopefully in a funny manner.

So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?
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post #2 of 22
3/28/10 at 12:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by solipsism View Post

So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?

Houses would be much darker, as they would have no windows.
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post #3 of 22
3/28/10 at 12:36pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsNly View Post

Houses would be much darker, as they would have no windows.

So, energy conservation?
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post #4 of 22
3/28/10 at 12:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by solipsism View Post

So, energy conservation?

Health reform too, less viruses and filth without the windows
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post #5 of 22
3/28/10 at 1:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by solipsism View Post

So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?

Alas, our borders would be closed to all except those with signed papers.

But so many would want to come to America (as it would be the coolest and most popular country) that they'd all line up for permission to enter, despite the sometimes inscrutable nature of the immigration policy.
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post #6 of 22
3/28/10 at 2:25pm
The first thing would be that OSX and Macs would be put in place in all government offices and departments. This would make the government run smoother and more efficiently at least.
無心 The idea of wilderness needs no defense, it only needs defenders., Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit__Edward Abbey
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post #7 of 22
3/28/10 at 2:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LTMP View Post

Alas, our borders would be closed to all except those with signed papers.

But foreign policy is over 9000.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijh8u12jjG4
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post #8 of 22
3/28/10 at 2:53pm
What his policies would be is anybody's guess, but I'm picturing him giving the State of the Union address in jeans and a black turtleneck, wandering back and forth across the podium and showing Keynote slides, telling us how cool and magical his plans will be. I'm picturing puzzlement on the faces of members of Congress from not knowing when they're supposed to stand up and applaud. I also picture him at press conferences telling members of the media to sit down and shut up if he doesn't like their questions.

I know this meant to be a jokey question, but it's a fact that people in top corporate management positions would have a big problem in politics. They're way too used to people jumping on command. It doesn't work that way in political office.
Please don't be insane.
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Please don't be insane.
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post #9 of 22
3/28/10 at 3:05pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LTMP View Post

Alas, our borders would be closed to all except those with signed papers.

But so many would want to come to America (as it would be the coolest and most popular country) that they'd all line up for permission to enter, despite the sometimes inscrutable nature of the immigration policy.

All people are signed like App Store apps with the always present danger of a Remote Kill Switch.
Dick Applebaum on whether the iPad is a personal computer: "BTW, I am posting this from my iPad pc while sitting on the throne... personal enough for you?"
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Dick Applebaum on whether the iPad is a personal computer: "BTW, I am posting this from my iPad pc while sitting on the throne... personal enough for you?"
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post #10 of 22
3/28/10 at 3:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by solipsism View Post

All people are signedlike App Store apps with the always present danger of a Remote Kill Switch.

OH SHITE! *Looks for switch*
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post #11 of 22
3/28/10 at 5:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by solipsism View Post

So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?


We all have bar codes for license plates and there be a mandatory college class "Psychedelics 101".


In reality he wouldn't be able to pass his agenda through Congress unless he made it some sort of national emergency, possible economic collapse or if it deprived Congress of money for pork projects.
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post #12 of 22
3/28/10 at 7:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpotOn View Post

In reality he wouldn't be able to pass his agenda through Congress unless he made it some sort of national emergency, possible economic collapse or if it deprived Congress of money for pork projects.

You forget his reality distortion field.
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post #13 of 22
3/28/10 at 7:51pm
Thread Starter 
The military would be referred to as The Core Animation which will be the most efficient military in the world and the Reality Distortion Field will be weaponized.

edit: I see MsNly was moving along the same idea.
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post #14 of 22
3/28/10 at 8:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by solipsism View Post

and the Reality Distortion Field will be weaponized.

"We do want to put these guns down and play with those shiny iPods." -Enemy Soldier

"Yes, yes you do." -Steve
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post #15 of 22
3/28/10 at 9:07pm
USA becomes like Apple, Inc ???

So, we'd have no national debt, but tons of $$ in the "bank".
We'd have several cool government programs that actually addressed what people need, even if they're not as cutting edge as some other countries programs. We'd not only have a balanced national budget... but we'd be setting aside funds for future needs...

Yep... Steve would never make it in Washington!
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From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that!" -...
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post #16 of 22
3/28/10 at 11:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingOfSomewhereHot View Post

........
Yep... Steve would never make it in Washington!

Because as President the capitol would be Cupertino CA
無心 The idea of wilderness needs no defense, it only needs defenders., Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit__Edward Abbey
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無心 The idea of wilderness needs no defense, it only needs defenders., Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit__Edward Abbey
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post #17 of 22
3/28/10 at 11:12pm
Question:

If SJ was Mr. President, who would be VP and name a few of his Cabinet members.
無心 The idea of wilderness needs no defense, it only needs defenders., Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit__Edward Abbey
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無心 The idea of wilderness needs no defense, it only needs defenders., Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit__Edward Abbey
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post #18 of 22
3/29/10 at 10:26am
It would be hell on earth. Just as you were familiarizing yourself with "government", the next day it would be (nominally) "upgraded" and you'd have to start over from scratch.
"We've never made the case, or argued the case that somehow Osama bin Laden was directly involved in 9/11. That evidence has never been forthcoming". VP Cheney, 3/29/2006. Interview by Tony Snow
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"We've never made the case, or argued the case that somehow Osama bin Laden was directly involved in 9/11. That evidence has never been forthcoming". VP Cheney, 3/29/2006. Interview by Tony Snow
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post #19 of 22
3/29/10 at 10:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsNly View Post

You forget his reality distortion field.


It's already working overtime trying to convince 2 billion Chinese to buy a more expensive, wifi-less version of iPhone rather than the normal grey market ones.

No, Sir Steve will certainly have to replace Congress, with a couple of glass cubes and spiral glass staircases to heaven so he can invite Buddha and his disciples to come visit.
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post #20 of 22
3/30/10 at 11:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by solipsism View Post

So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?

He would keep changing the constitution and ask you to agree to it on opening iTunes.
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post #21 of 22
3/30/10 at 11:55am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marvin View Post

He would keep changing the constitution and ask you to agree to it on opening iTunes.

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Dick Applebaum on whether the iPad is a personal computer: "BTW, I am posting this from my iPad pc while sitting on the throne... personal enough for you?"
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post #22 of 22
3/31/10 at 7:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marvin View Post

He would keep changing the constitution and ask you to agree to it on opening iTunes.


LOL, no sh*t.
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