or Connect
AppleInsider › Forums › Mobile › iPhone › Least Common iPad Complaints
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Least Common iPad Complaints

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
From the New Yorker:

Quote:
LEAST COMMON COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NEW IPAD
by Billy Kimball
APRIL 26, 2010
· Too salty.

· Time-travel app does not automatically adjust for Julian calendar.

· When used as tanning bed, battery life is limited.

· Not rhino-proof.

· Salesperson in Apple Store not wearing ironic jazzman hat.

· Not available in soothing Harvest Gold color.

· Strange odor coming from husband while using iPad.

· For $499, I was expecting a few more sequins.

· No USB port for whatever it is that they do.

· The iBookstore ichthyology section includes almost nothing on lampreys.

· When used as murder weapon, oleophobic coating does not completely eliminate incriminating fingerprints.

· Copying document files requires installation of forty-dollar iCarbonCopy app.

· Virtual cupholder does not actually hold cups.

· Unwilling to buy anything from Apple ever since Steve Jobs killed my parents.

· Insufficient media coverage.

· Original iPad was good enough for Grandpa and its good enough for me.

· Upscaling makes porn unexpectedly upsetting.

· After owning a Kindle for three weeks, I have become deeply loyal to the brand.

· The virtual keyboard is too %&@#! hard to use.

· New York Herald Tribune not available online anyway.

http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2010/0...a_talk_kimball
Please don't be insane.
Reply
Please don't be insane.
Reply
post #2 of 5
Those are hilarious. The "upscaled porn" item made me spit coffee.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #3 of 5
Thread Starter 
Anybody can play:

Not entirely edible.

Inappropriate for leveling tables, unless one leg is really short.

Can cause injury if used as Frisbee.
Please don't be insane.
Reply
Please don't be insane.
Reply
post #4 of 5
The guacamole tastes like Apple
post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by addabox View Post

Those are hilarious. The "upscaled porn" item made me spit coffee.

And you weren't even drinking any.
Please don't be insane.
Reply
Please don't be insane.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: iPhone
AppleInsider › Forums › Mobile › iPhone › Least Common iPad Complaints