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Whoopi...

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
:confused:

Whoop-ee...



Being curious, does anyone here actually think this woman is funny? I mean, seriously? And does she possess some sort of mysterious, hidden emcee talent I'm not seeing?

Honestly, this woman bugs me to no end: she's not funny, she's not particularly smart or insightful and, to be quite frank, she's not even attractive (which might go a long way in cancelling out the two previous factors).

I'm telling you now, this will be her thing: she'll come out, dressed dowdy and frumpy as usual (wearing some stupid smock-like thing, with Birkenstock type clogs or sandals, with big wool socks no less, and wearing little round Lennon-esque sunglasses that were cutting edge and hip about 14 years ago.

And she'll spend a significant portion of her onscreen time taking cowardly, lame-ass jabs at Bush (and the right, in general). I say "cowardly" because she knows she's in front of an auditorium filled with like-minded Hollywood assheads who'll cheer, applaud and cackle hysterically at her every sentence or "biting social commentary" (as if the Oscars is the place for it).



Seriously, last year, for the first time EVER, I sat and watched and Oscar broadcast straight through from start to finish and (gasp...) genuinely enjoyed it.

Why? Two words:

Steve Martin.

Now THERE'S a host. Funny, easy on the eyes, upbeat, funny, sharp, on his feet and funny. Oh, and did I mention funny?

Not even Billy "I'm little so I always try too hard" Crystal was watchable.

Honestly, due to lack of true funniness AND the fact that they'd work in their little political jabs all night long, I can only think of two people on the planet who would suck worse at hosting the Oscars:

Robin Williams or Rosie O'Donnell.

I guess in light of that fact, I should count my blessings that it's only Ms. Goldberg. I suppose it could be worse...

<img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />

In any case, I think my strategy will be this: the "mute" button on the remote will be activated during any and all appearances by Ms. Goldberg on the screen, just so I can somewhat enjoy the rest of the show.

I mean, come on: the chances of her actually saying something truly funny, touching, endearing, sharp or poignant are basically slim to none, right?

Let's all meet back here later tonight or tomorrow morning to discuss how right I am and how solidly I nailed tonight's presentation.



[ 03-24-2002: Message edited by: pscates ]</p>
post #2 of 32
I agree. Viva Steve Martin!

The fact that this is apparently the FOURTH time Whoopi has hosted the Oscars is insane.
"If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the...
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"If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the...
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post #3 of 32
Blah, Billy Crystal is funnier than Steve Martin any day. That's why they keep bringing him back.

Curious, this is the first time, Crystal hasn't been host 'every other year' for a long time.

And I *liked* Letterman.
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post #4 of 32
Best Possible Host: Tom Greene.

Might as well complete the farce.
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IBL!
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post #5 of 32
Tom Green would be an excellent choice!
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post #6 of 32
I'll go out on a limb and say Whoopi pleasently surprises. Just a feeling I have.

PS-Matsu's signature: <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

Jeff
What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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post #7 of 32
Whoopee - Prisoner to her hairstyle...

Robin Williams - Has he ever hosted? That would be amazing. He'd probably explode.

Billy Crystal -He made it bearable. Hey, this is like a "three degrees of Comic Relief"...

Not watching the Oscars tonight. <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
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I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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post #8 of 32
Whoopi as host is tedious, banal, and thoroughly dull and boring. I liked her in Ghost though.
post #9 of 32
lol.. looks like Whoopi read pscates' post and did the exact opposite of everything
post #10 of 32
Funny moment when she said Moulin Rouge looked like it was directed by no one/cut to/Baz looking not in the least amused.
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
Jeff
What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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post #11 of 32
jeez, Halle Berry looks like she is in sever pain rather than joy :eek:
post #12 of 32
If only she'd quit before "&gt;snif, snif&lt; I'd like to thank my agents, my lawyers..."

Still, a pretty moving moment, especially the other nominees choking up.

Jeff

[ 03-25-2002: Message edited by: jeffyboy ]</p>
What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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What are you up to, Norm?

My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
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post #13 of 32
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by applenut:
<strong>lol.. looks like Whoopi read pscates' post and did the exact opposite of everything</strong><hr></blockquote>

You know, I noticed that. She was halfway bearable. She still isn't funny, but I was shocked at how little I actually wanted to smack her.

Of course, I wasn't paying lots of attention to begin with, but when I did, I wasn't enraged.

She left her sunglasses off, she wore a nice dress and seemed to keep the wise-ass, divisive political jabs in check.

Color me shocked.



Steve Martin still did a better job though...
post #14 of 32
Maybe I'm off base here, but I thought her little "joke" about the Hobbit vs. Beautiful Mind was kind of in bad taste.

I forget what exactly she said leading up to it, but she ended up saying "The Hobbits are leading the schizophrenic mathematicians 4 to 2."

Considering that Mr. Nash and his wife were in the audience... (he's still a schizophrenic mathematician isn't he?) isn't that a little mean? I don't know, everyone in my house let out a little "jeeeeesssussss" and rolled our eyes after that comment.

Oh, and I'll add one more vote for Steve Martin. I'll take him over the whoopi cushion anyday.

[ 03-26-2002: Message edited by: murbot ]</p>
post #15 of 32
Here's some news on who next year's host could be: <a href="http://www.drudgereport.com/mattosc.htm" target="_blank">http://www.drudgereport.com/mattosc.htm</a>

Looks like it could be Um-- I mean, Oprah.

Fantastic. NOT!

I think I could dig Leno though.

[ 03-26-2002: Message edited by: Arakageeta ]</p>
post #16 of 32
Thread Starter 
Oh man, I missed the "Hobbits and schizophrenic math geniuses" remark.

I guess I take some of my kind remarks back. It's likely that she is a clueless idiot after all.

<img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />

And I'd like to tweak my original post to add Oprah (along with Robin Williams and Rosie O'Donnell) to the list of people I'd like to NOT see host the Oscars.

Or any other live televised event, for that matter.

post #17 of 32
Oprah as the host:
"Dave, Uma. Uma, Dave."

Whoopi was quite unfunny. The "hallucination" bit was awkward and I'm becoming more and more convinced that 90% of the crap they do at the Oscars is unnecessary.

They give the presenters 5 minutes to do an idiotic bit but the actual winner gets 2 seconds to say thanks. I know that priorities are the last thing on these freaks' minds, but let's use a fraction of common sense...
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post #18 of 32
Why was Whoopie picked again?

Lets see-
Sidney poitier was chosen to be honored on a night when halle Berry and Denzel (Mr. Overact) Washington won the awards for best actor and best actress(gee, do you think the producers knew something beforehand?). Therefore-

Black Acheivement Award winner
Black Best Actress winner
Black Best Actor winner
Black Host

This show is so political its nauseating. A Simple Mind wins Best Picture, Best Director, Best Supporting Actress, but the Best Actor award is not given to the person who carried the movie because he's, well, White. Also an ass but thats besides the point.......................................
post #19 of 32
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by steve666:
<strong>Lets see-
Sidney poitier was chosen to be honored on a night when halle Berry and Denzel (Mr. Overact) Washington won the awards for best actor and best actress(gee, do you think the producers knew something beforehand?). Therefore-

Black Acheivement Award winner
Black Best Actress winner
Black Best Actor winner
Black Host</strong><hr></blockquote>

They probably just didn't want Jesse organizing a protest or shakedown...



"Give Denzel a statue, or we're comin' back at you...
Don't deny Ms. Berry, or things are gonna get scary..."



Jesse...the people's poet...
post #20 of 32
Thread Starter 
By the way, I thought Sidney Poitier's speech was very nice. He exhibited class and grace, two things otherwise missing from the evening.

He deserved that honor, in my opinion.
post #21 of 32
[quote] Being curious, does anyone here actually think this woman is funny? I mean, seriously? And does she possess some sort of mysterious, hidden emcee talent I'm not seeing? <hr></blockquote>

Big money - makes anyone funny!!!
post #22 of 32
[quote] Tom Green would be an excellent choice! <hr></blockquote>

Billy Connely!!! (Spelling)
post #23 of 32
[quote]Originally posted by pscates:
<strong>

They probably just didn't want Jesse organizing a protest or shakedown...
</strong><hr></blockquote>

Or?

With two funny lines in 4hrs & 22 minutes, Whoopi Goldberg is now officially the most boring / least funny person in all of showbiz.
post #24 of 32
Face it, no one will EVER be as good as Billy Crystal
I thought Whoppie was ok this time though.

but the Best Actor award is not given to the person who carried the movie because he's, well, White

Or perhaps it was that he won last year, and the year before that... and quite frankly he did NOT deserve it for Gladiator.
Why does every one always call discrimination though?
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post #25 of 32
&gt;Or perhaps it was that he won last year, and the year before that... and quite frankly he did NOT deserve it for Gladiator.
Why does every one always call discrimination though?&lt;

You may be right, his role in Gladiator was pretty one dimensional, as was Denzel Washingtons this year. Crowes role this year was a difficult one................
post #26 of 32
[quote]Originally posted by glurx:
<strong>

Or?

With two funny lines in 4hrs & 22 minutes, Whoopi Goldberg is now officially the most boring / least funny person in all of showbiz.</strong><hr></blockquote>

no. nothing has topped the wayans brothers at the MTV awards for worst host(s) of all time anywhere. I almost felt bad for them when they were on.
post #27 of 32
I watched part of that for some odd reason... and yes, it was one of the most painful experiences ever.
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post #28 of 32
I like Whoopi.
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post #29 of 32
Did you like her as host of the Oscar show?

I don't hate her in everything. I liked her in Ghost.
post #30 of 32
[quote]Originally posted by Eugene:
<strong>Blah, Billy Crystal is funnier than Steve Martin any day. That's why they keep bringing him back.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

Billy Crystal and Robin Williams AND Whoopi Goldberg USED TO BE funny. Way back when. What changed?

They found politics.

None of these amateurs can hold a candle to Steve Martin. On physical comedy, RW is close, but he's rehashing the same funnies over and over again. On intellectual comedy, BC's strength, SM trounces him. As for WG, she lost "funny" when she gave up the Valley Girl act (about the time of Comic Relief 2 or 3).

Seriously, though, do you hear much about Steve Martin's politics. Nope.

He's old school, really a pro.

[ 04-02-2002: Message edited by: finboy ]</p>
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post #31 of 32
I don't know finboy, I just never found Steve Martin funny at all.

Steve666, while I was on vacation in Hawaii last week, I watched Training Day in the hotel. I don't know about you, but I think Denzel deserved his Oscar.

I didn't watch Monster's Ball...nobody did, but critics said it was good. Halle Berry's half white anyway, so I don't know what that means. It probably means something!

Sidney Poitier, well, he's Sidney...this award could have come last year or next year. It doesn't matter. Sidney has a white wife. I'm sure you can find some hidden meaning in that too, I guess...

And Whoopi. Yeah, i don't think she's as good a host as Crystal, but she was watchable that day.

Now the real question is:
Would you buy an iMac assembled by Russell Crowe or an iMac assembled by Denzel Washington?
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post #32 of 32
Persoanlly I think Denzel would be more meticulous putting the iMac together so he gets my vote there.

I didn't mean to say that Denzel didn't give an oscar worthy performance but Crowe's role was far more difficult and when his movie wins for best supporting actress, best director, AND best movie I find it a little odd that the star vehicle didn't win also.

As for Sidney, the guy is awesome. He should've gotten the lifetime achievement award sooner. To Sir........With Love. Need I say more?

Halle Berry-didn't see the movie but heard that she was excellent in it. My hats off to her. She's also a fox. But do you notice that she (and seemingly most other mixed race folks) completely ignores her white side? I guess its hip to be a minority these days but come on, can you imagine if she ignored her black side and went around saying she was white? Quite a double standard going on there. Same goes for Geraldo Rivera-the guy is half Puerto Rican and half Jewish-he never mentions his white Jewish side. Go with what sells, I guess..........................................
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