And let me translate the above into more traditional pirate language:
"Avast ye thar! We's got to free ar iPhones damme for a lubber else! Belike we's not stealin' softwarez, matey we's legit mariners, all free enterprise an' the like! Summ'us e'en got's letters of marque damm yer eyes! The guvner a' Cupertino done made it easier fer us to make a livin' as honest seamen yar, but until we'uns gets ar pardons and such, we'll ply the seas to make sure that thar aren't too many free-roamin' app lackin' fer PROPER seamanlike use else! An' we'uns aren'y no pirates no sir! We're freebootin' privateer traders we are! We got's rules *nudge* well, more like guidelines, and belong to the Distributed Enterprise Voleurs Transportation Eschalon Association of Merchants! Arrrrrrrrr."
there. Much better.
HAHAHAHA! *More like Guidelines*