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how was your first night single?

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
mmmmkay, I just came back from a major party. As some of you will know, I left my girlfirend after a 7 year relationship.

How is it that as soon as you leave or are left by someone, you attract 10x more women? Is it an aura of somekind? Os it just your attitude?

I had about a dozen girls all over me last night that, for some weird ass reason, I sort of tried to dodge. One would see the other talking to me, get jelous, bitch at the other, interrupt, etc... Weird thing when you have a bunch of nice looking chicks in a disco start fighting over you... damn... what have I been missing out on these last 7 years???????? Ugh... confusion.

Man... what the hell am I doing home alone in the end? I guess they all beat themselves up or something. Just too frikken weird!!!

I'm sure some of you guys and/or girls have had other experiences of this kind. Fess up.
I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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post #2 of 32
seven years?

Which one of you had the fear of commitment?
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post #3 of 32
umm,

well kinda... i broke up with mine after 10 years about 3 years ago... but i didn't go to any 'discos'... i've gone out to see bands but not to hook up with anything that's gonna frequent nightspots(too old fer that)... dated a freak fer a year(she was gorgeous... so i found it tolerable/fell in love anyway)... all my gal-pals have been trying to hook me up with their single friends but after that 10 years zo, i've found i'm very picky. i spent a good year sorting things out... before i hooked up with that aforementioned hotty. i'm glad i did... it helped me see things, see her and my ex... helped me decide what i'm after. a monogamous/egalitarian one... a lifetime of it.

good to get an ego boost tho' zo...

cuss

p.s. i've always been a loner with a gang of hobbies... so it's easy fer me. whatever gets you through it is kingodhell... just be safe. 1 in 4 have herpes. 50 percent of those show no symptoms and don't know they've got it and condoms don't work on that... at a disco? well dood, you might be lookin' at much higher numbers.
post #4 of 32
if you notice, he said that he left her....
post #5 of 32
yeah zo... give us some details.

we have no lives,

cuss
post #6 of 32
Man, I could never dream of leaving my girlfriend.........
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post #7 of 32
oops... i just noticed. she left me... sorry. subconscious wish... freudian stroke slip. heheee... which brings me to the orthopsychiatric journals i poured over fer a year afterwards...

naw... won't get started on that. suffice it to say that it depends very much on how yer respective parents got along... and who feared real committment. I discovered i balked at the thought of marriage to her fer some very strange reasons, ones i wasn't very aware of at the time... subconscious stuff ya know?

cuss
post #8 of 32
[quote]Originally posted by TigerWoods99:
<strong>Man, I could never dream of leaving my girlfriend.........</strong><hr></blockquote>

So you really think you're gunna be with her forever?
post #9 of 32
I broke up with my wife after 13 years together about 4 years ago,since then my love life has been downright weird,one relationship after another that starts to get off the ground then ends in a spectacular fashion-crash and burn.I thought I met the girl of my dreams last week,actually I had known her as a friend for a while,but I was talking to her one night and she spilled her heart out to me and since then she either is filled with enthusiasm when she sees me,or won't even say hello-basically I've decided not to talk to her,which I am sure will make her want me,then when I want her she'll run away...and the cycle continues.The last girl before that,I went to her house one night and was attacked by pit bulls,which didn't worry me much,just the dogs smelled horrible-like a dead possum-she let the dogs run freely on her bed,god,I had to get out of there.I never called her again.Now summer is coming and the town will be filled with hundreds of Irish and Russian girls-open season begins-and I plan to have a good one.
post #10 of 32
Thread Starter 
uuuuugh....

the morning has arrived...

I just started going through the forums and saw a thread by me! I freaked out a moment thinking someone had started a thread with my login/pass! Then I suddenly remembered that I HAD written this thread.... oooooh... it was one of those nigthts.

Actually quite surprised I wrote so well!! Dang

Umm, so details you want?

It was a 7 year thing going on and we had some amazing times together. Some people say I'm nuts because she is just simply beautiful girl and intelligent (very) and this and that...

But, I just felt all of a sudden that the love ran out on my part. We got together when we were both 19 and now we are 26... I really really need to get out and change. I feel I have to do it. I was a bit confused at first. I was talking to myself kind of amazed that I didnt have love for her anymore... I just couldnt think of it. I then realized finally that I had to accept the fact that I wasnt in love anymore. It just ended. Pooof. I didnt think it was possible... but it is.
I tried in many ways to try and kickstart myself to love her again... but decided that was stupid. Either you love or you don't. It comes from within.
So, instead of continue living a lie, I just ended it. Who knows, maybe in a few months or even a few years we'll get back together again. For now though, I'm scaring myself because I really dont miss her at all... as if she was just a friend you hear every now and then. Its friggen weird.

Why did I go to a disco? Well, old college buddies just finished studies and told me to get my ass over and party... so I didnt take much convincing.

In any case, it was a wild wild party. The weather has finally become something resembling Summer here so the girls are all getting really sexy and 'un'dressed. The hormones are exploding and its just chaos in general. What I still can't figure out is how I DIDNT end up coming home with a girl :-/ Bah, I guess now that its morning Im glad I didnt. I wouldn't have liked to find someone beside me this morning... just want to be alone.

Little Cuss... you sound like me in 10 year
I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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post #11 of 32
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by little cuss:
<strong>
naw... won't get started on that. suffice it to say that it depends very much on how yer respective parents got along... and who feared real committment. I discovered i balked at the thought of marriage to her fer some very strange reasons, ones i wasn't very aware of at the time... subconscious stuff ya know?
</strong><hr></blockquote>

now that you mention it... I'm having a clearly parallel "lifestyle" as my Dad. Thats all I really need to say. I guess your 'studies' have helped someone else too thanks
I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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post #12 of 32
Well, it wasn't until I started dating someone that suddenly about 8 of my female friends started letting it be known they liked me. My girlfriend was still living in CA at the time while I was in Boston... *shrugs*
post #13 of 32
Girlfriends!?
You must be kidding...we're computer nerds. Nerds don't get chicks. I can't leave the house because within an hour I'll NEED to have access to a computer. Yes, I know it's a problem but because I get creative at odd times, being at a bar without a way to be productive just kills me.

Not to mention I frequently get song ideas especially when seeing crappy bands at smokey bars. Check my band out <a href="http://www.misery-index.com" target="_blank">HERE</a> to see what I mean.

\\m/
The purpose of this exercise is to accentuate the cheesier parts.
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The purpose of this exercise is to accentuate the cheesier parts.
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post #14 of 32
[quote]So you really think you're gunna be with her forever? <hr></blockquote>

That or no one else. I just know I dont deserve someone like her. She's the only one who truly believes in me and makes me believe. I couldnt do without her. I just pray that she'll never leave me.

I'm not going to get into the details of my whole life or what not, but distance has started to take its toll on us I feel. What we need is a good talk about things.
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post #15 of 32
[quote]Originally posted by Mr. Fantastic:
<strong>Girlfriends!?
You must be kidding...we're computer nerds. Nerds don't get chicks. I can't leave the house because within an hour I'll NEED to have access to a computer. Yes, I know it's a problem but because I get creative at odd times, being at a bar without a way to be productive just kills me.

Not to mention I frequently get song ideas especially when seeing crappy bands at smokey bars. Check my band out <a href="http://www.misery-index.com" target="_blank">HERE</a> to see what I mean.

\\m/</strong><hr></blockquote>


everyone needs someone...

bars have napkins, i cary a pen

[ 05-18-2002: Message edited by: janitor ]</p>
post #16 of 32
I've been in a relationship for about 2.5 years. Sadly, I think the love is dissapearing... Don't know what to do about it. Don't know if I want to do anything about it. Sometimes I think it's time to move on, but it's not that easy... yet life goes on. I'll figure it out... soon I hope.
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"What buzz? What the $*#@ is the internet?!" - Jay
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post #17 of 32
well zo,

in a long term relationship, yer gonna fall out of love. sadly, it's as natural as falling in love at the first of one... and, i don't know a single long-term relationship that didn't suffer the doldrums and doubts of falling out, many, many times. going through just that is how we learn to love forever. it's what you do in that dark time, based on what was imprinted upon you as a child, that counts the most. the good times and bad times always pass.

go easy my friend,

cuss
post #18 of 32
sometimes you never realize just how much you love someone/thing until it is taken away from you. Take a vacation, like, by yourself for a couple of weeks. Doing something like that always reminds me how much I love my girlfriend.
post #19 of 32
The best thing to do is find some fat Irish girls,then you wil be happy.
post #20 of 32
Thread Starter 
little cuss, thanks for some of that advice. I am of the opinion that, just as everything in nature, we go by cycles. My cycle with her, for now at least, is over.

Its been a week to this day that I ended it and I have 'forced' myself not to have any communication with her at all. I tried calling her today but there was no answer so I left a message. Just wanted to know how she is doing and stuff like that.

Nonetheless I feel pretty good being alone. Had a great weekend with friends... was great weather and life keeps going.

any more advice is well taken
I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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post #21 of 32
[quote]Originally posted by little cuss:
<strong>well zo,

in a long term relationship, yer gonna fall out of love. sadly, it's as natural as falling in love at the first of one... and, i don't know a single long-term relationship that didn't suffer the doldrums and doubts of falling out, many, many times. going through just that is how we learn to love forever. it's what you do in that dark time, based on what was imprinted upon you as a child, that counts the most. the good times and bad times always pass.

go easy my friend,

cuss</strong><hr></blockquote>

Have children, then there will be predetermined steps you must take.
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post #22 of 32
[quote]Originally posted by Mr. Fantastic:
<strong>Girlfriends!?
You must be kidding...we're computer nerds. Nerds don't get chicks.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

Nerds with money get girlfriends.

Of course, at this point I don't have much money, and even so I'm not in a location where there's a real concern over it. Lastly, I'm not saying that money is a good way to get girlfriends, but it does have the same affect as pheremones.

edit:
Listened to your band's MP3's. What is your part in the band?

I pulled it up in iTunes and the Genre was "Grindcore." I take it that's self-titled. It's what I call "Improv Death Metal." Not too unique, but I guess there's a place for it or else nobody would do it. Good luck.

[ 05-21-2002: Message edited by: Splinemodel ]</p>
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post #23 of 32
well pal,

and this is coming from her side of things. coming as i do similarly from the side of the rejectee... i wouldn't call her or pretend you want to be friends. you made yer juice right? so stew in it. she's not okay right now... and that's not much of an assumption right? think of it this way, how many ex hubby's and wives are anything but civil? and if they don't have kids, how many of those 'stay in touch' or check to see if the other's okay? you know the answer...

Don't take all this too harshly but i came from a very stable and loving two-parent background... my ex didn't and when she came home one day and said she was leaving... well zo, i was devestated... for as much as i was imprinted to trust everything would be okay, she was imprinted to leave without warning. so if this girl's got a soul... she's dying inside right now. i feel it's best you don't add to her grief by 'checking to see if she's okay' when you know goddamned good and well she's not okay right now...

good luck again,

cuss
post #24 of 32
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by little cuss:
well pal,

and this is coming from her side of things. coming as i do similarly from the side of the rejectee... i wouldn't call her or pretend you want to be friends. you made yer juice right? so stew in it. she's not okay right now... and that's not much of an assumption right? think of it this way, how many ex hubby's and wives are anything but civil? and if they don't have kids, how many of those 'stay in touch' or check to see if the other's okay? you know the answer...
<hr></blockquote>

Well, matter of fact I have always had great friendships with all my "exes" before. I never said I dont like her anymore. I still have strong feeling for her and 'love her' like a sister or someone very close. I just dont love her like I used to, like a normal in-love couple normally does.

Also, she took the whole thing 'pretty well'. I really want to be friends and Im even open to the thought and idea of getting back to gether... just not now.. not for a while.

So obviously I DONT want to keep her hanging like a toy (thats just bastardly and I know how it feels) but I also dont want to just disappear as if we hadnt spent a quarter of our lives together and had never happened.

[quote]
Don't take all this too harshly but i came from a very stable and loving two-parent background... my ex didn't and when she came home one day and said she was leaving... well zo, i was devestated... for as much as i was imprinted to trust everything would be okay, she was imprinted to leave without warning. so if this girl's got a soul... she's dying inside right now. i feel it's best you don't add to her grief by 'checking to see if she's okay' when you know goddamned good and well she's not okay right now...

good luck again,

cuss<hr></blockquote>

I feel Im in the classic 'damned if you do damned if you dont' situation. I want to be close to her and see how she is because, to be honest, I do care. But obviously, its BECAUSE of me that she may not be doing to good. Ugh. Dammit.
I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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post #25 of 32
I read it somewhere that it is common to fall out of love with the one that you are with. The excitment is just gone because the two persons are too close to each other. They have less things to say because they do things together... and the everyday nitty-griddy stuff start to interfer those romantic moment.

That is what a young man told an older guy about his current situation. And the young man asked what he could do.

The old guy said. "love her".

But the young guy protest, and say he doesn't feel like he is in love anymore.

The old guy reply. "love her".

Again, the young guy explain that he feel differently about her now.

The old guy once again, reply "love her".

And the young guy finally get it.

******************

Love is not just a feeling.
Love is not just a noun.
Love is also a verb.

When love fall out of the equation within the relationship, what is need is action.

Love start with "just a thought", and if you truly believe it is gone, you are just wishing it away.

[ 05-22-2002: Message edited by: Sundae ]</p>
post #26 of 32
I think that any person is insane if they are with someone merely for financial reasons. I have a lot of aspirations in life, and if I go ahead with these goals and achieve them, then I am afraid that I will sort of be in the public eye. The thing is I really don't want that. Why? I feel that if I had notoriety people would see my girlfriend as being with because of that. I don't want to put her in that position. I know that she has been there for me before all of that and SHE is the one that believes in me. She loved me before that. Yet I still want to achieve my goals.

We are shaky and I really haven't been able to think straight or do much recently. I can live with her being so far away, yet I can't. We have talked and it's obvious to both of us that we aren't as close anymore, yet we have never lost any feelings for each other. I love her more than ever, and I can only let it grow. But how can we be as close if she's not there for me? She admits it herself. Sometimes I honestly don't get it, or get her. Here she is with the chance to be there for me, but she doesnt take it. Or at least that's what I feel like it is. Of course I realize she has things that she has to do.

I'm totally devoted to her and I just want to be there for her. She has made it pretty clear that school is her #1 priority, not me. Anywayz of course she lives in NC, and whenever I want to meet, she always has something else to do. She says she had it planned long ago, yet she never tells me and it always seems to be a different thing that she does when I want to be with her. I don't know...

I do everything for this girl, seriously. It just kills me that I can't be there to do everything else that I can't do for her while I am here.

I have no clue why I'm writing this....
~Winner of the Official 2003 AppleInsider NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Pool~
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post #27 of 32
i hear u.

LDR is hard on both parties. While u think u are doing everything for her, she may be doing lot of things she wanted before making the "ultimate sacrifice". One of u have to move and it is very likely that it is going to be her, unless u realize that and make the sacrifice yourself.

Take this as a "drunk blabbling", but I think if u luv her so much, she is worth the wait.

In the meantime, think ahead, months ahead to make plan to be with her, so that she will make way of your arrival. It works better and u both have that to look forward to.

i will stop now. Good luck.

[ 05-22-2002: Message edited by: Sundae ]</p>
post #28 of 32
Listen. I always tell her I can come there. She rejects me.
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post #29 of 32
About attracting 10x more women. It's the same when you first get a girlfriend. The secret is you're not really looking and they can sense that.

I wish you good luck ! It's always rough when you break up with someone. The only similar feeling is when someone has died.

I haven't had a relationship in 2 years now. The last one crashed and burned rather badly. At my age ( I just turned 49 ) it's just that much more difficult to find one. Still you never know.

Anyway stiff upper lip and all that. Try not to carry baggage from this relationship into the next.

[ 05-23-2002: Message edited by: jimmac ]</p>
Without the need for difference or a need to always follow the herd breeds complacency, mediocrity, and a lack of imagination
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Without the need for difference or a need to always follow the herd breeds complacency, mediocrity, and a lack of imagination
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post #30 of 32
[quote]Girlfriends!?
You must be kidding...we're computer nerds. Nerds don't get chicks. I can't leave the house because within an hour I'll NEED to have access to a computer. Yes, I know it's a problem but because I get creative at odd times, being at a bar without a way to be productive just kills me.<hr></blockquote>

I have an idea, Why don't you get that little comment and stick it straight up your a$$???

If you want to consider yourself a nerd, that doesn't mean that the rest of all the people posting are nerds. Some just like to do something differently than wintel people. Try to think about it as a way to become better Creative Professionals. And While you're at it, try telling the moderators that i don't like my Junior Member Status.
Amma start posting a whole mess of crap just so my post count can rise and the Junior Member Status i have can become a regular Member.
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Amma start posting a whole mess of crap just so my post count can rise and the Junior Member Status i have can become a regular Member.
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post #31 of 32
The Junior member status will change to member automatically after a pre-set number of posts.

To gain that status, u just need to post more.

And nerds do have girlfriends. And many do meet online.
post #32 of 32
There's nothing wrong with being a nerd,I don't consider solely to be a nerd,but that is a side of me,spending a night holed up with a book of equations or working on a computer program is one idea of having a good time.If some people don't approve that is their problem.
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