I know what you mean Tallest, and you're almost certainly right - you certainly know far more about it than I do. However, whoever's fault it is, I'm posting from the point of view of an average, non-advanced computer user who buys a computer to do a certain job and is often told by Mac supporters to get a Mac because "they just work" and that I will be able to do anything I can on a Windows PC, but better. Not so in this case.
I love many things about my Mac and to an extent you always compromise when you buy any product, as all have their advantages and disadvantages. I understand that. However I use a lot of Flash-heavy websites and sure I'd prefer it if Adobe would fix Flash for Macs, sure I'd prefer it if those websites used a better alternative to Flash, but they haven't and the websites don't - that's the reality of the situation and I can't change it.
To be perfectly honest, to most people it doesn't matter if it's Adobe's fault, Apple's fault or the man on the moons fault - if buying a Mac means you can't do certain things, then in purely practical terms it doesn't matter.
Try to think of a product you use every day but don't really care about too much. For example, you are clearly very knowledgable and "into" computers and you like Macs, understandably. So you see things from Apple's point of view and you defend them.
However say if you're not really into cars and you just want something that works, and say (purely for example) a Toyota fan told you to get a Toyota. Then it was recalled with a brake fault. You say you're disappointed as you were told Toyota's were good quality - they tell you it's not Toyota's fault but the supplier of the part which failed.
They may well be right, but do you really care? The fact is you aren't that into cars and you just want a reliable car. Whether it's Toyota's fault or their suppliers fault, the fact is the product let you down so you might decide not to buy another one.
Like it or not, that's how the majority of people feel about computers. I like to use a lot of Flash-heavy websites, and my iMac isn't proving a very good choice for that particular task. It's not something that is ever mentioned to people when they're considering buying a Mac, so it can cause problems.
I genuinely love many things about my Mac and I'm over-simplyfying to a degree - and I totally understand why you like Macs and feel a certain loyalty to Apple, but in this specific case, it doesn't help much.
I really appreciate all the help I've had on this site so I don't mean to sound ungrateful, and I'm sticking with my iMac for now, but I have noticed a certain perspective on Apple websites like this that they'll help you if the problem can be solved, but if it can't, then you're told well websites shouldn't use Flash, Adobe should do something about it, Blu-Ray should have been developed differently so that it wouldn't annoy Steve Jobs. You only really find that out when you've bought the Mac - it's not always quite as simple as "it just works".