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What's the difference between a beer and a girl?

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
Chime in with your thoughts...
Here one to start the ball rolling..

] When the beer grows flat you can just throw it out.

mika.
post #2 of 47
Thread Starter 
c'mon ppl. before the new mods get trigger happy.
here's another.

] beer takes longer to finish?


mika.
post #3 of 47
You don't get in trouble with the police for keeping beer in your fridge?
post #4 of 47
Thread Starter 
heheh


] you can have a beer and the other doesn't mind.
post #5 of 47
Thread Starter 
] when done with the beer there's no need to put a label on it.


mika.

[ 07-20-2002: Message edited by: PC^KILLA ]</p>
post #6 of 47
Um, beer's good cold and girls are better hot?
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post #7 of 47
I can get a beer.
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post #8 of 47
Wouldn't it take a moderator locking good threads to be labelled "trigger happy" while idiotic threads merely present acceptable targets?

Lots of people around here wanting me to martyr them, I think you guys have issues.

[ 07-20-2002: Message edited by: groverat ]</p>
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post #9 of 47
why havent you locked my thread yet...?
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"If it weren't for my horse...I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

"If curling is an olympic sport, then oral sex is adultery. If anything, oral sex should be an olympic sport...cause it's...
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post #10 of 47
Head from a beer is a sure thing.
post #11 of 47
1, 2, 3, 4, Beers...
1, 2, 0, 0, Girls...

need I say more...

j/k

[ 07-21-2002: Message edited by: Ebby ]</p>
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post #12 of 47
I like girls.
I don't like beer.
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post #13 of 47
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Ebby:
<strong>1, 2, 3, 4, Beers...
1, 2, 0, 0, Girls...

need I say more...

j/k

[ 07-21-2002: Message edited by: Ebby ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Correction Ebby,

1, 1, 1, 1, Beers...
2, 2, 3, 4, Girls...



(No need to be anti-social... )


Edit:
] Yeast is a good thing; for beer.
] It's easy to make a beer cream.



[ 07-21-2002: Message edited by: PC^KILLA ]</p>
post #14 of 47
I just broke off with my girl so beers for everyone... <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />

Beer vs. Poon-Tang

Finally, the truth is calculated and cannot be disputed.
Beer is always wet.
Poon-Tang needs encouragement.
Winner: Beer

Beer tastes horrible served hot.
Poon-Tang tastes better served hot.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Having an ice cold Beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold Poon-Tang makes you Hillary Clinton.
Winner: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Poon-Tang does not.
Winner: None

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming Poon-Tang, you are not disgusted.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Twenty-four Beers come in a box.
Poon-Tang is a box you can come in.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Winner: Beer

If you come home smelling like Beer, the layd may get mad.
If you come home smelling like Poon-Tang, she will definitely get mad.
Winner: Beer

Six Beers in a night and you better not drive.
Six Poon-TangsÂ* in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Buy too much Beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much Poon-Tang and you will get poor.
Winner: None

It is socially acceptable to have a Beer in the stands at a football game.
Getting Poon-Tang in the stands at a football game makes you a legend.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If a cop smells Beer on your breath, you get a arrested..
If a cop smells Poon-Tang on your breath, you get a high-five.
Winner: Poon-Tang

With Beer, bigger is better.
Winner: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make Beer any less enjoyable.
Winner: Beer

Poon-Tang makes you see God.
Beer makes you see the porcelain God.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If you think all day about your next Poon-Tang you are normal.
If you think all day about your next Beer you are an alcoholic.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Peeling labels off of Beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of Poon-Tang is more fun.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Snagging Beer at work gets you fired.
Snagging Poon-Tang at work gets you charged with sexual harassment.
Winner: None

If you drop a Beer it breaks.
If you drop Poon-Tang, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Winner: Beer

If you change to another Beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Winner: Beer

The best Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Winner: Poon-Tang.

The worst Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Winner: Beer

Bad Beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad Poon-Tang: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Winner: None

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red
Good Poon-Tang: Almost all but the above.
Winner: Poon-Tang

The government taxes Beer.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Beer=9
Poon-Tang=11

The numbers never lie. The winner is Poon-Tang!
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post #15 of 47
Thread Starter 
Yes, the numbers aren't good..
And most people prefer a cheap Poon-Tang over a cheap beer. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />


mika.
post #16 of 47
Except that cheap Poontang comes with suyphilis.
post #17 of 47
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by cdhostage:
<strong>Except that cheap Poontang comes with suyphilis.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'm sure the beer bottle doesn't mind. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />


mika.
post #18 of 47
I'd rather have a stout ale...
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post #19 of 47
[quote]Originally posted by PC^KILLA:
<strong> </strong><hr></blockquote>

<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
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post #20 of 47
Beer has a head. Girls can giv...

Never mind...it's late.
post #21 of 47
A beer doesn't get mad when you look at another beer.

A beer can't change it's mind after you've opened it's top.

Nick

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." -George Orwell

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"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." -George Orwell

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post #22 of 47
Uh, this is a little off-topic but what is the legal drinking age in Israel PC'KILLA?
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"All good things must come to an end."
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post #23 of 47
Thread Starter 
Hmm, to tell you the truth, I really don't know. Israelis aren't big on alcohol, and I never really drunk until after I finished the army. It wasnt ever an issue for me. If I had to guess I would guess it's 18. Maybe even earlier. I'm thinking this because now you can get your motor license in Israel before you turn 18. Whereas before you couldnt.


mika.

[ 07-22-2002: Message edited by: PC^KILLA ]</p>
post #24 of 47
I'm a female...

I can have a beer...

but to have a girl i should be lesbic!!
i'm not...

so i prefer the beer...
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post #25 of 47
[quote]Originally posted by PC^KILLA:
<strong>Yes, the numbers aren't good..
And most people prefer a cheap Poon-Tang over a cheap beer. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />


mika.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Dude. . . Iron City -- a fine Pittsburgh brew that is priced similar to Colt 45. I actually think its better than Bud, which I consider to be a decent, mid range brew. Iron city is $11 a case, even in the People's Republic of Maryland.

And as Eugene said: I can get a beer.
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post #26 of 47
Mulattabianca :

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Grandma yelled, "Praise Gawd!".

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post #27 of 47
Thanks Gringo

sign the guestbook as well if you want...

ehehe.. if i one day come to Texas i'll offer a beer
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post #28 of 47
[quote]Originally posted by Splinemodel:
<strong>

Dude. . . Iron City -- a fine Pittsburgh brew that is priced similar to Colt 45. I actually think its better than Bud, which I consider to be a decent, mid range brew. Iron city is $11 a case, even in the People's Republic of Maryland.

And as Eugene said: I can get a beer.</strong><hr></blockquote>

LOL. But, you need to remember that alcohol is MUCH more expensive in PA. MUCH.

I'll have to remember " The People's Republic of Maryland" . LOL.
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
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post #29 of 47
if your mum catches you with a beer late at night she doesnt really mind
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post #30 of 47
you dont have to take a beer out for dinner
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post #31 of 47
you dont have to give a sh1te with a beer for it to stay with you
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post #32 of 47
There are some things you just don't do with a beer.
post #33 of 47
there are some things you just dont do with a beer!
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post #34 of 47
[quote]Originally posted by leviathan:
<strong>there are some things you just dont do with a beer!</strong><hr></blockquote>

sorry about that vargus....heres another

a beer doesnt mind if you share it with friends
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post #35 of 47
once a beer is drunk the fun's over.
once a girl is drunk the fun's just starting.....
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a flirt with mediocrity comes with heavy penalty
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post #36 of 47
with both beer and girls nuts are the currency for a successful evening
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post #37 of 47
[quote]Originally posted by leviathan:
<strong>with both beer and girls nuts are the currency for a successful evening</strong><hr></blockquote>

But with most girls you don't need salted nuts!
post #38 of 47
beers will never insult you if it wasnt good for them
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post #39 of 47
your friends will gladly let you have the best beer in the house
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post #40 of 47
When you're sick of beer you can just puke and flush it down the toilet.
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