Here's everything so far:
"Once I was licking Steve Ballmer's sweaty ass. When he farted on it, I could see Bill Clinton's Wife's ex-boyfriend's kojac, which sneezed on seventeen virgins who switched to Snapple, because I need fish-sticks, Monkey-boy. This gigantic orgy lasted until MacWorld-New York.
Pie eating CEOs suck. Cake is not as good as pie. You are a cheater.
Then I went out and saw a bug that deposited bottles of wine on a pig-T-Rex drag-queen singing "waltzing-matilda" or spewing spam upon my synthetic t-shirt. Design was a fairly deathly pork chop, code-named Jaguar. However, she squatted over the pickle jar until Xidius discovered herself naked after rolling a boulder. Blunt drugs costs money, and she has no clue that it discombobulated Bill, except for the l33t and fornicators rule!
Ass yogurt helps sooth engorged prostate glands that throb intimately and explode pleasurably inside latex, teddy bear gloves that rip. Your..."
Tell the computer to speak this in TextEdit. FUNNY!