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Top of the spams

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Most of the spams suck.

But i guess there are some that are funny.
Or would otherwise qualify for the Top of the Spams.

So how about a Top of the Spams thread??

<img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />

My fav's
(as categories):

1# all those that promise me 1-4 inches to my dick with a clickk :eek: and if i'd really click (or any other female they send that .SIT to?)
2# grow. yea? i click and i can be taller? cool .. <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
3# i'm a poor nigerian bla bla bla .. give me your money

as the start..

i notice most of the spam is really boring and it repeats itself...

there must be some pearls in them...

<img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />
How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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post #2 of 18
hmm..i haven't got any lately
post #3 of 18
The one that bothers me the most is animal sex
Mac Pro 2.66, 5GB RAM, 250+120 HD, 23" Cinema Display
MacBook 1.83GHz, 2GB RAM
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Mac Pro 2.66, 5GB RAM, 250+120 HD, 23" Cinema Display
MacBook 1.83GHz, 2GB RAM
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post #4 of 18
This fücking thread should be considered spam.
*** Voted "Biggest Asshole" and "Role Model Of The Year." ***
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*** Voted "Biggest Asshole" and "Role Model Of The Year." ***
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post #5 of 18
Here's one:

Want to attract that special someone instantly?
Need more sex?
Want to feel more sexy?
Interested in a little extra edge in business affairs?
Ever wonder why some people seem to have it all?
Science Has Finally Done It!
Nature's Only True Aphrodisiac!
Women subconsciously detect this product and they are instantly attracted to you!

Highly concentrated Pheromone will give you an edge over the competition. Without changing anything else, women will suddenly find you far more sexually attractive. You will notice more women making eye contact and initiating conversations.

YOU can be more popular with women than you ever thought possible! Order the strongest concentrate allowable by law and legal for public use.

...the funny?..the product is called "ATTRACTALL" Yeah, attract sheep... <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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post #6 of 18
[quote]Originally posted by Artman @_@:
<strong>Here's one:

Want to attract that special someone instantly?
Need more sex?
Want to feel more sexy?
Interested in a little extra edge in business affairs?
Ever wonder why some people seem to have it all?
Science Has Finally Done It!
Nature's Only True Aphrodisiac!
Women subconsciously detect this product and they are instantly attracted to you!

Highly concentrated Pheromone will give you an edge over the competition. Without changing anything else, women will suddenly find you far more sexually attractive. You will notice more women making eye contact and initiating conversations.

YOU can be more popular with women than you ever thought possible! Order the strongest concentrate allowable by law and legal for public use.

...the funny?..the product is called "ATTRACTALL" Yeah, attract sheep... <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>I can assure you, artman @_@, that it actually works. So, there

- T.I.
MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch, Late 2013) / 2.6 GHz Intel Core i5 / 8GB RAM / 500GB SSD
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MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch, Late 2013) / 2.6 GHz Intel Core i5 / 8GB RAM / 500GB SSD
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post #7 of 18
i never recieved this type of spam and i refuse all cookies.
post #8 of 18
[quote]Originally posted by Mikey Offender:
<strong>This fücking thread should be considered spam.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Your mom should be considered spam.
proud resident of a failed state
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proud resident of a failed state
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post #9 of 18
Make sure you post that on your little blog at 3 in the morning when you're all alone wishing she would give you some play. When you're in the dark waiting patiently for that booty call.
*** Voted "Biggest Asshole" and "Role Model Of The Year." ***
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*** Voted "Biggest Asshole" and "Role Model Of The Year." ***
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post #10 of 18
where is shanny's mom?
I feel so very lonely
her sex is needed
proud resident of a failed state
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proud resident of a failed state
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post #11 of 18
OK...back on topic...this TOPS my list of idiotic SPAM...I did not make this one up:

Date: Thu, 17 Oct 2002 09:19:37 +0500
From: &lt;coloncleansing@jtbk.net&gt;
Reply-To: &lt;coloncleansing@jtbk.net&gt;
To: LorraineSmith
Subject: RE: Your Bowels Cleaned


Let me ask you this...which is worse:

A. The engine on your Lexus freezes up at 160,000 miles instead of 300,000. You take a financial hit and you are forced to buy a Camry this time.

B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor and get poked, prodded, X-ray'd, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a call for a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced colon cancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years left to live. He tells you it's time to get your house in order because you'll be checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today.

A friend of mine who was a science and health researcher at the University of Chicago, just died this past year of colon cancer at 42. In the midst of the prime of his life, he said goodbye, and left his wife and child behind, wondering what just hit them.

Why do you brush your teeth? Are your teeth falling out right now? For most of us, we do it so we won't need false teeth and Fixodent down the road...right? We want to be able to eat apples. Hey, I agree with that. Natural teeth are great.

But have you ever seen someone who was forced to endure a colonectomy? Someone who now will be spending the rest of their life carrying a bag around?

Incredibly, this is an area where even the staunchest MD's AGREE with us!! Can you believe it? If they knew you had the greatest colon cleanse in the world, I bet they might even refer people to you. NO, I'm not kidding...

This subject is not even up for debate. It's a proven fact. The problem is, most people are not doing anything about it. Please don't be one of them.


****WARNING***** The next section of this email contains graphic material which may not be suitable for squeamish individuals.


Let's talk stools.

The stool tells you a lot about your colon health. If it's dark brown in color, and it sinks, and it stinks, that's not good. And don't feel bad, that's the way most people are. What you want to see is light brown color, which means it's full of fresh bile from the liver, very mild odor, and a stool that floats. We're talking low-density here folks. The more compaction you have the darker the color and the faster it sinks. Compaction is not good. Also, moving bowels should be SIMPLE. If the veins are popping out of your neck and you feel like your doing the bench press, you NEED to cleanse your colon.

When you do the cleanse, for the first few days....things are a little weird. But you know you're cleansed when you see the above good stuff happening, and you are eliminating at least 2-3 times per day.

Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. Its also very economical at $43.00. You may be very surprised at some of the benefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from your body and brightening your future health.

People have reported more energy, less allergies, clearing of acne, cessation of migraines, and many other results, not to mention restored regularity. When your body is void of old, poisonous toxins that are constantly being reabsorbed through the colon walls, it can begin to heal again. And when the colon walls are clean, the good nutrients from your food and supplements can be absorbed again. You will be thrilled with the results.

At this point you are either nauseated thinking about what is inside your own colon, or you're ready to do something about cleaning it out.

Want more info? Click here and I'll send it to you, including instructions on how to take it. And yes, I have taken it myself.

Currently available only in the U.S. and Canada. Seeking Distributors to meet high demand.

<img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" />
I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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post #12 of 18
This tops my spam list. It was sent to my cat.

horrid misuse of cool technology
SSBA.COM
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horrid misuse of cool technology
SSBA.COM
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post #13 of 18
The subject was "Hot Girls and Wild Horses!!!!!" I didn't open that one.
post #14 of 18
1) 100% All Natural Penis Enlargement Pills!
2) Re: How are you doing [I was naive enough to open that one]
Lose your dreams and you may lose your mind
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Lose your dreams and you may lose your mind
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post #15 of 18
[quote]Originally posted by kelib:
<strong>1) 100% All Natural Penis Enlargement Pills!
2) Re: How are you doing [I was naive enough to open that one]</strong><hr></blockquote>And?

- T.I.
MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch, Late 2013) / 2.6 GHz Intel Core i5 / 8GB RAM / 500GB SSD
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MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch, Late 2013) / 2.6 GHz Intel Core i5 / 8GB RAM / 500GB SSD
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post #16 of 18
Thread Starter 
See what people have discovered about sex!

From: "lagamery" &lt;out2@supermail.com&gt;

Finally 6 products that will change your life forever


Better Sex: Men
Better Sex: Women
Hair Regrowth
Stretch Mark
Breast Enhancer
Fat Burner

Check out these amazing products...Click here


Duh... they really are trying ALL the spam products in one.. and obviously "click here to be removed" (as i dont see my name on the list..)


<img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" /> <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" /> <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" /> <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" />
How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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post #17 of 18
Date: Sun, 20 Oct 2002 21:03:39 -0400
From: "Master" &lt;yyy@yyyyyy.ca&gt;
To: "" &lt;xxx@xxxxx.com&gt;
Subject: Strapon Dildo Megaworld

Sometimes you are thinking about that... The Queen of Strapon is waiting for you. You dreamed about me, but never told about this anyone. Come to me and I`ll understand you without words. I`ll be your cruel and hot mistress, I`ll strap on my dildo and take you to the unknown, unreal pleasures. Welcome to my dildo world, my slave, and soon it will become yours.

JOIN NOW!

I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
i notice putting a filter "if the sender contains apple.com then deliver to inbox" works fine. so if the sender does not contain apple.com then deliver to trash. <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
Reply
How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
Reply
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