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How to pick up British girls?

post #1 of 88
Thread Starter 
Well I'm going to at least attempt to, there's a British girl in my English class, good looking, nice, basic admirable features. Any tips, pointers, anything I should know? Any inside stuff that only Brits would understand? Any help appreciated.
post #2 of 88
Tell her you love women with hairy arm pits and that you have a big willie or johnson <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
post #3 of 88
Tell her that she has nice teeth while trying to keep a straight face. Then maybe talk about how the Beatles were the best band ever and how you never understood why we drive on the left side of the road. Then ask her if she would like to spend tea time at your house on friday and maybe go get a dinner of fish and chips over at Long John Silvers and then go see Die Another Day.

Maybe also start off with a witty joke. "Two peanuts were walking down the street; one was assalted."

[ 11-15-2002: Message edited by: G4Dude ]</p>
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post #4 of 88
the less advice you take from appleinsider, the better.


here's a hint: british girls aren't any different than american ones.
post #5 of 88
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

Duh.. i'm not good in this topic.. lived in UK but i knew far more Greek guys than British gals..

Tell her she's pretty.. and how all the American girls are like the same.. so you are amazed how much more intelligent / individual / traditional / stylisy / whatever she wants to hear SHE and the generally the british are..
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post #6 of 88
please don't start off by telling her that she has [quote] nice, basic admirable features <hr></blockquote>...that would be a poor beginning....just smile, be friendly, look her in the eyes when you talk to her, listen when she talks and be confident without be cocky....if you can do that, you should be fine...g

ps...don't tell her you have been wanting to talk to her, but had to get some advice first from some apple geeks on-line...not a strong selling point...
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it's all fun till somebody loses an eye
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post #7 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by thegelding:
<strong>.. been wanting to talk to her, but had to get some advice first from some apple geeks on-line...not a strong selling point...</strong><hr></blockquote>

...unless she uses a mac?
<img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />
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post #8 of 88
Please. Here's how to pick up any girl: just ask her a question, and zone out while she talks. Occasionally mutter or grunt, throw out an oh no, or wow, great, and furrow your forehead every once in a while. You don't even have to listen, just let them talk and you'll come out looking like a big sweetheart. Whatever you do, don't talk puppy-dogs and ice cream because it will end up on the friendship tip.

That's it.

lol
post #9 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by Jonathan:
<strong>the less advice you take from appleinsider, the better.


here's a hint: british girls aren't any different than american ones.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Translation: Don't trust this, but this is what you should do.
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Resistance is futile when electrons are excited.
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post #10 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by Gambit:
<strong>...Whatever you do, don't talk puppy-dogs and ice cream because it will end up on the friendship tip.</strong><hr></blockquote>

what does that mean? you know, "translated".
post #11 of 88
I'm going out with a lovely American girl from Hartford Connecticut, Insurance Capital of the USA.

I managed to seduce her by taking her to the best Japanese restaurant in London and getting her really drunk on saki. I'm also very good looking indeed, and very charming and funny; this helps.

So, good luck! British girls can be tremendous, especially if they have the nicer basic features. Ask her about Zippy from Rainbow, Grange Hill, or shake you head sadly and say 'John Leslie and Ulrika Johnson, eh?' and she'll melt into your arms.
post #12 of 88
Basically it comes down to pouring two pints in her and snog her (that's kiss)

Then tell her to get the f*ck out of Ireland It's very trendy to be anti government in England. Don't say anything bad about the queen though - they love her.

Oh..and soccer is football.
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
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You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
post #13 of 88
Wrong forum - Should be Software discussions
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post #14 of 88
Topic: How to pick up British girls?

Bend at the knees, and keep your back straight.
Die Grüne Hölle - Gute Fahrt
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Die Grüne Hölle - Gute Fahrt
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post #15 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by GardenOfEarthlyDelights:
<strong>Topic: How to pick up British girls?

Bend at the knees, and keep your back straight.</strong><hr></blockquote>

lol
Because the people who are crazy enough to think thay can change the world, are the ones who do
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Because the people who are crazy enough to think thay can change the world, are the ones who do
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post #16 of 88
Jchen: Just be you,
Because the people who are crazy enough to think thay can change the world, are the ones who do
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Because the people who are crazy enough to think thay can change the world, are the ones who do
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post #17 of 88
i love the smart a$$ comments people give...makes me proud to be a member <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
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post #18 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by Alpha Mac:
<strong>Jchen: Just be you,</strong><hr></blockquote>

He's trying to pick her up, not be a single guy for the rest of his life.

[quote]Originally posted by Hassan i Sabbah:
<strong>
So, good luck! British girls can be tremendous, especially if they have the nicer basic features. Ask her about Zippy from Rainbow, Grange Hill, or shake you head sadly and say 'John Leslie and Ulrika Johnson, eh?' and she'll melt into your arms.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Ask her about Bagpuss (professor Yaffle, Madeleine, Gabriel etc), or Captain Pugwash (Master Bates, Seaman Staines, Roger the cabin boy etc).

Rainbow (Zippy, George, Bungle etc) is totally uncool.

[ 11-15-2002: Message edited by: RodUK ]</p>
post #19 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by Defiant:
<strong>

what does that mean? you know, "translated".</strong><hr></blockquote>

"if you don't want to be considered as a FRIEND but something more, then don't talk like a teenager british girl"
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post #20 of 88
Make sure she knows how desirable you are. Reinforce that Americans are superior to the British and thus you are a better catch than those other bloody bastards. This will make you very attractive in her eyes. Be sure to insult British cooking, the royal family and in particular, David Beckham. Speaking of Beckham, remember, that the British are most proud of the Spice Girls and if you adore them that will help her fall in love with you. And whatever you do, don't call her brilliant. The British never use the world brilliant because it is considered the worst insult possible. Kinda like bad can be good in America, while the same sort of reversal applies to the world brilliant. Just tell her she is not brilliant in the least to be on the safe side.
post #21 of 88
Oh and make sure you wear a sheepskin rubber, those Wuthering Heights types love that.
post #22 of 88
When I was in London...all the "birds" had cell phones attached to their heads...well, I guess that's everywhere.

Talking to Asian gals with British accents was quite...exciting... <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
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I AM THE Royal Pain in the Ass.
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post #23 of 88
jchen,

just be yourself. If you pretend to be someone you're not then your relationship will be a short lived one.

Be nice, be honest, be a gentleman, listen to what she says, try to make her laugh and you will be fine. There are no "international rules" on dating or asking someone out. It's just a matter of connecting and finding some sort of attraction.

good luck!

- trowa
.: trowa
.: "To see with eyes unclouded by hate"
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.: trowa
.: "To see with eyes unclouded by hate"
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post #24 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by trowa:
<strong>jchen,

just be yourself. If you pretend to be someone you're not then your relationship will be a short lived one.

Be nice, be honest, be a gentleman, listen to what she says, try to make her laugh and you will be fine. There are no "international rules" on dating or asking someone out. It's just a matter of connecting and finding some sort of attraction.

good luck!

- trowa</strong><hr></blockquote>

Gather round people, wherever you roam.
Witness a man, who's never pulled in his life.

First of all, women want to be lied to so don't be yourself. Find out what kind of guy she goes for and be him. Enjoy it while it lasts if you have to lie about yourself. The ones that you don't have to lie with are the ones you marry but for the time being, lie as much as you need to to get what you want. Women do it to and it's only natural.

What ever you do, do not try to make her laugh. You will end up looking like someone who never quite grew out of being the class clown. Women will laugh at you tying your shoe laces if they like you and it takes them about ten seconds to decide whether they do so don't put too much effort in to it. You'll only seem unnatural and they'll cop on to your lies quicker.

Also speak with an Irish accent and, if possible, mention you know me...no worries, if she ever asks me about it I'll lie for you.
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
post #25 of 88
I can give you the way that a french terrorist will speak to her : " He toi, je vais te sauter".
Sorry i can translate it in english, it will lose sense.

Anyway it's a lame joke : sorry could not resist
post #26 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by macfenian:
<strong>

Gather round people, wherever you roam.
Witness a man, who's never pulled in his life.

</strong><hr></blockquote>


Macfenian,

I'm doing fine, thanks. I've had my share of girlfriends.

Besides, every woman knows Irish men love their alcohol more than their women

jchen,

this was probably the worst place for you to ask that question.

all in good fun.

peace out

- trowa
.: trowa
.: "To see with eyes unclouded by hate"
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.: trowa
.: "To see with eyes unclouded by hate"
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post #27 of 88
if someone's right, he's right.

The Internet isn't the place to ask such questions.

ask your friends
your brothers and/or/neither sisters
mom & dad
teacher

oh hell, I'm just giving advice myself... <img src="graemlins/embarrassed.gif" border="0" alt="[Embarrassed]" /> <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" />
post #28 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by Defiant:
<strong>The Internet isn't the place to ask such questions.

ask your friends
your brothers and/or/neither sisters
mom & dad
teacher</strong><hr></blockquote>
Or just ask the girl if she wants to go out somewhere sometime. Jeez. It's not rocket science.
Chicanery.
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Chicanery.
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post #29 of 88
ah belle. you can just bring it to the point. thanks.

Whatever it is, it ain't rocket science.
post #30 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by ColanderOfDeath:
<strong>Make sure she knows how desirable you are. Reinforce that Americans are superior to the British and thus you are a better catch than those other bloody bastards. This will make you very attractive in her eyes. Be sure to insult British cooking, the royal family and in particular, David Beckham. Speaking of Beckham, remember, that the British are most proud of the Spice Girls and if you adore them that will help her fall in love with you. And whatever you do, don't call her brilliant. The British never use the world brilliant because it is considered the worst insult possible. Kinda like bad can be good in America, while the same sort of reversal applies to the world brilliant. Just tell her she is not brilliant in the least to be on the safe side.</strong><hr></blockquote>

This is excellent advice.
post #31 of 88
yeah. she'll kill you on the spot.
post #32 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by trowa:
<strong>
Besides, every woman knows Irish men love their alcohol more than their women
</strong><hr></blockquote>

<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
Not as much as English women love getting pissed up on alcohol and jumping Irish men!

Play up on the cultural differences (English women are suckers for an accent!) and go with the flow.
Be yourself if you can see a future with this girl, if not then bullshit her as much as you like.
Ask her about her upbringing and get a few hints on things she enjoys and find out about these things.
If all else fails, find a good strip club, bound to be plenty of English girls to meet there
post #33 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by Gambit:
<strong>Please. Here's how to pick up any girl: just ask her a question, and zone out while she talks. Occasionally mutter or grunt, throw out an oh no, or wow, great, and furrow your forehead every once in a while. You don't even have to listen, just let them talk and you'll come out looking like a big sweetheart. Whatever you do, don't talk puppy-dogs and ice cream because it will end up on the friendship tip.

That's it.

lol</strong><hr></blockquote>


<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> Not everyone looks like you, Gambit. But really, that's an awesome tip about what not to talk about...
post #34 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by MiMac:
<strong>

<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
Not as much as English women love getting pissed up on alcohol and jumping Irish men!

Play up on the cultural differences (English women are suckers for an accent!) and go with the flow.
Be yourself if you can see a future with this girl, if not then bullshit her as much as you like.
Ask her about her upbringing and get a few hints on things she enjoys and find out about these things.
If all else fails, find a good strip club, bound to be plenty of English girls to meet there </strong><hr></blockquote>

Great Irish minds think alike
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
post #35 of 88
[quote]Macfenian,

I'm doing fine, thanks. I've had my share of girlfriends.

Besides, every woman knows Irish men love their alcohol more than their women <hr></blockquote>

Not true. There is nothing better than coming home from the pub, with a quick stop at the Indian take away, and getting in to bed with who ever it is you love this week and breathe in her face for about a minute and a half. I would be more graphic but I wouldn't want to disgust you all
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
post #36 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by Belle:
<strong>
Or just ask the girl if she wants to go out somewhere sometime. Jeez. It's not rocket science. </strong><hr></blockquote>

Don't listen to her..she's one of them

We all know that being direct can only end up in embarrassment.

Stalk her for a while - find out everything about her. If you have a relative in the police force let him do a check up on her. Then break in to her house and take a picture of her while she's sleeping. Stick it to her front door and write "I'm watching you" on the back. Then get a friend to chase her some night and then deck him. You'll be the hero and she'll be yours.

It'll work - I do it all the time.
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
You cannot conquer Ireland. You cannot extinguish
the Irish passion for freedom. If our deed has not
been sufficient to win freedom, then our children
will win it by a better deed.
Pádraig Pearse

...
Reply
post #37 of 88
lol !! <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
post #38 of 88
this thread has become very interesting. finally. appleinsider is near dead and lifeless now that apple has kicked the s*it out of people who want to give out info. so we resort to this...now, to get back on topic:
since none of us know you,really,"just be youself" might actually be the worst advise we could give you.
on the other hand, your position will be stronger vis-a-vis a british chick if you have the following credentials:
-possess an American passport
-dont have any Irish blood in you
-express wonderment at why so many british men have an infantile obsession with large breasts
-pronounce french very badly (on purpose)
-ability to walk out of a relationship very cooly
the above do work. guaranteed.
---
post #39 of 88
[quote]Originally posted by niji:
<strong>-express wonderment at why so many british men have an infantile obsession with large breasts
</strong><hr></blockquote>

You mean to say this isn't a world wide phenomenon :confused:

Who can possibly resist a heaving pair of succulent creamy white orbs overflowing with... sorry, I need to find some tissues to clean things up. <img src="graemlins/embarrassed.gif" border="0" alt="[Embarrassed]" />

[ 11-16-2002: Message edited by: RodUK ]</p>
post #40 of 88
european girls are all the same big ass cows, or they will be when they are 23. (yes, UK is europe) try to find a dancer (no anorexia-ballet-type) or at least some one who moves a limp ones in a while (not to shove food or meat inside her nice face, but really moving, muscle feels better than fat)
or try a japanese girl, really great, good fights

[ 11-16-2002: Message edited by: gar ]</p>
alles sal reg kom
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alles sal reg kom
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