Hope to maybe offer my opinions on some of your concerns;
4G (it will make me get a more expensive data plan
You don't have to use 4G; and pretty much everyone else wants that feature
looks too much like the IPhone 4.
To me, it looks similar, but still quite different. yes, it's still a rounded rectangle, but this has a solid aluminum body, no glass on back, is of a different size, and thinner. The "face" of it is still very "Iphone" but that is part of their branding. I mean the de-facto Iphone icon is basically it's silhouette, What other Phone is IMMEDIATELY identifiable by just it's silhouette?
the Notification control panel is confusing and overly complicated
I do think the notification Panel should be "cleaned-up": get rid of the texture there, make it look more like the settings "app". perhaps then notification categories should be "minimized" by default to just their headings and expand when you touch them (perhaps they "glow" when there is a recent notification?)
The voice-mail interface needs to be the same as the rest of the interface
Seems the same to me... Swipe-to-delete works on IOS5 for me unless I don't understand you.
Provide a way to zoom into websites designed for mobile devices
More up to the website developer; if they have specified a fixed viewport then they can prevent you from zooming.
Make it so IOS does not hesitate when I'm swiping from the home screen to the search screen
Doesn't happen on my Iphone 4s (ios 5)
Make it easy to automatically switch off data or Wi-Fi based on where you are and your signal to either
IOS5 already does one part of this, if it detects a known WiFi it automatically connects and all data then goes through the WiFi, and i thought in IOS 6 they added a feature to automatically switch back to cellular if WiFi signal gets too low, not sure though...