Originally Posted by GTR
I 'sea' what you're getting at...
...and I'm cackling at your cockles!
Source anon ...
Once there were two clams chilling out at the bottom of the ocean. Their names were Sam and Joe. Sam and Joe did everything together, watched the clam bowl, went bar hopping, the stuff that all guys do.
One day, Sam died in a horrible accident. Joe was really depressed. Eventually, Joe got over Sam's death. He still missed Sam, and everyday wished that he could see Sam just once more. One day while Joe was gllopped along (gllopping is how clams move) another clam suddenly appeared in front of Joe. This clam was dressed all in white, and a little halo above it. Joe was so astonished, that he fell down. This angel clam then spoke.
"Joe, you have been very good, and you have been granted your wish. However, there will be some guidelines that you must follow."
Joe was so happy that he hastily agreed. This had been his dream for the past several months.
"What are the guidelines angel?" Joe asked. "Follow me first."
So Joe followed the angel, and soon they came to the gates of heaven.
"Before you may see Sam," the angel said, "you must put on this tart necklace. You must wear this at all times. In order for you to return to the ocean, when you return, you must have this tart with you. You have three hours, until midnight. Is this all clear?"
Joe nodded, took the necklace, and asked for directions. The angel told him to go up the hill, and he has a place on the left.
Joe gllopped up the hill, and there he saw Sam's place. There was a huge neon sign proclaiming "Sam's Dance Club". Joe went in and looked around. Behind the bar, there was Sam. "Sam!" exclaimed Joe.
Sam looked up and saw Joe. "Joe! Are you dead now too?"
"No, I have permission to come visit you for 3 hours." Joe replied.
"Well enough talk, and let's party!"
So Joe and Sam had a great time and lost track of time. In the middle of a dance, the clock started to strike 12. Joe looked up startled, hastily explained to Sam, and went down the hill as fast as he could. He made it to the gates at the last stroke. The angel was there waiting.
"Well, you barely made it. Now you can go back to the ocean once you give me your tart."
"No problem," said Joe. He reached around his neck (don't ask, they just have a neck), and the necklace was gone. "Oh No!" yelled Joe. "I don't have the tart!"
"Well I'm sorry, but I can't let you go then. Where is it?" asked the angel.
Joe said, "I left my tart in Sam Clam's Disco!"