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I Hate Helicopters...where's my gun ?

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Well hate is a pretty strong word, but I've been living in what has now become the flight path of every damm helicopter in the world ( slight exaggeration ).

They're driving me nuts.

There are at least six or seven flying at any one time..everything from heli-ambulances to army, air-force, police,.. which i have to accept. But then there are all the dumb-assed radio traffic helicopters and TV bigshots & journalists who think nothing to fly by helicopter just to visit a local school or do a story about someone's friggin cat being stuck in a tree..

" Oh we need heli-shots of that poor pussy... boys "

My real gripe is that they fly really low and at almost walking speed..so they whomp whomp the air for what seems like hours..the windows rattle, the television reception goes skew-wiff.

Unlike airport traffic that has time limits, these helli jocks fly at 2 or 3 in the morning.

Then there are the 1,000,000 candle search lights..
turning night into day...no doubt chaing some desperado who has stolen a toothpick...You get the picture...

I've spoken to council & government air traffic regulators, but the helicopters apparently fall outside the laws' regulations with regards to altitude & noise levels etc..

Sometimes ..I wish I had a slingshot or one of those pee shooters..

....don't want to kill em..just wing em..so that they think twice about harrassing us poor humans..

What a bunch of helli-jocks..;grumble:

Sounds of Wagners.." The ride of the Valkarie.".

Dum dee dee dah dum...Dum dee dee dah dum... Dum dee dee dah dah.....Dum dee dee dum !!!
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post #2 of 23
Go get yourself a marine searchlight, a couple megacandle should do the trick. Next time they shine it at you, shine yours back.

I bet they'll listen to you then... even if you *are* on the witness stand.
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post #3 of 23
Careful, some of those things can spit. 30mm machine gunfire and Hellfire missles are a sight more unpleasant than the noise and vibration.
"Beware the Jabberwock , my son! The jaws that bite, the claw that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the the frumious Bandersnatch!"

from Jabberwocky, excerpt from Alice through the looking...
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"Beware the Jabberwock , my son! The jaws that bite, the claw that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the the frumious Bandersnatch!"

from Jabberwocky, excerpt from Alice through the looking...
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post #4 of 23
Just because you're paranoid...
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post #5 of 23
I too hate those annoying TV choppers. I see three every night, because I have two bridges and a major highway very close to me. Then the jerks fly back over my neighborhood, why I don't know, becasue all the TV stations are the opposite direction, and there is always a traffic jam near Scandia, no matter what time of day.

Have you ever tried to play basketball when a helicoptor flies overhead? :erm:
post #6 of 23
Actually a pellet gun would be interesting to play with. Although they might get pissed, and if they find out was you......
post #7 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Kickaha
Go get yourself a marine searchlight, a couple megacandle should do the trick. Next time they shine it at you, shine yours back.

I bet they'll listen to you then... even if you *are* on the witness stand.

Maybe I should jump on my roof..& do a big fat brown eye at em...

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There are 3 types of people in the world.

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post #8 of 23
Quote:
Unlike airport traffic that has time limits,

Google must not be anywhere around here because the airplanes go 24 hours a day on this continent. Late night is mostly cargo planes, the oldest and noisiest planes that are no longer coolio for passengers.
post #9 of 23
Quote:
Originally posted by Aquafire
Well hate is a pretty strong word, but I've been living in what has now become the flight path of every damm helicopter in the world ( slight exaggeration ).

They're driving me nuts.

It's the black helicopters that fly secretly over America each night to prepare the takeover by either aliens or the UN
post #10 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Smircle
It's the black helicopters that fly secretly over America each night to prepare the takeover by either aliens or the UN

There's a whole bunch of us Ai'ers whoose already gots our boarding passes.

Seats are already being allocated..

I'm gonna be sitting with the 7ft tall blonde Venusian babe with the 1ft long tongue.....
There are 3 types of people in the world.

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&

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There are 3 types of people in the world.

Those who count.

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post #11 of 23
A friend of mine aimed a police radar gun (those used to find out haw fast you are speeding) at a news chopper once. It took a quick dive and fled at top speed out of the area. That would only solve your problem temporarily because 3 Apache choppers showed up and searched the area for a 1/2 hour.
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horrid misuse of cool technology
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post #12 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Ebby
A friend of mine aimed a police radar gun (those used to find out haw fast you are speeding) at a news chopper once. It took a quick dive and fled at top speed out of the area. That would only solve your problem temporarily because 3 Apache choppers showed up and searched the area for a 1/2 hour.

Wow..now that's what I call drawing some heat...

I won't even ask how your " friend " got hold of a police radar gun...
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post #13 of 23
1. Buy a SAM battery and then call the local media to tell them a small kitten is stuck in a tree across the street from you.
2. Wait until the helicopter shows up to cover the dramatic rescue then fire your missile.
3. Repeat as necessary until all helicopters are destroyed.

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PC Free Since 1999

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post #14 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by jante99
1. Buy a SAM battery and then call the local media to tell them a small kitten is stuck in a tree across the street from you.
2. Wait until the helicopter shows up to cover the dramatic rescue then fire your missile.
3. Repeat as necessary until all helicopters are destroyed.


Like I said, I only wants to wing-em so that they can raise their ugly yungins in a nest far aways from me....
There are 3 types of people in the world.

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There are 3 types of people in the world.

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post #15 of 23
Kickaha and Amorph couldn't moderate themselves out of a paper bag. Abdicate responsibility and succumb to idiocy. Two years of letting a member make personal attacks against others, then stepping aside when someone won't put up with it. Not only that but go ahead and shut down my posting priviledges but not the one making the attacks. Not even the common decency to abide by their warning (afer three days of absorbing personal attacks with no mods in sight), just shut my posting down and then say it might happen later if a certian line is crossed. Bullshit flag is flying, I won't abide by lying and coddling of liars who go off-site, create accounts differing in a single letter from my handle with the express purpose to decieve and then claim here that I did it. Everyone be warned, kim kap sol is a lying, deceitful poster.

Now I guess they should have banned me rather than just shut off posting priviledges, because kickaha and Amorph definitely aren't going to like being called to task when they thought they had it all ignored *cough* *cough* I mean under control. Just a couple o' tools.

Don't worry, as soon as my work resetting my posts is done I'll disappear forever.
post #16 of 23
Quote:
Originally posted by Kickaha
Go get yourself a marine searchlight, a couple megacandle should do the trick. Next time they shine it at you, shine yours back.

And because they're wearing ITT Aviation NVDs, they'll probably be blinded for a second, even with the brightness protection that those things have.
post #17 of 23
Quote:
Originally posted by Aquafire
Like I said, I only wants to wing-em so that they can raise their ugly yungins in a nest far aways from me....

Aquafire: Keep in mind that shooting at an aircraft is a federal felony. Blinding the pilot with a searchlight may be as well.

As a balloon pilot, I clearly remember that some guy in the Midwest got several years in prison for shooting his rifle at a (manned) gas balloon some years ago. Sure, helicopters overhead are obnoxious, especially the news copters that serve no good purpose. But you wouldn't want to risk prison.

Voicing your concerns with the appropriate government officials is probably the best (legal) thing you can do. I'm glad you already did that.

Escher
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"The only laptop computer that's useful is the one you have with you."
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post #18 of 23
http://www.safe-skies.com/helocrash.wmv

Here ya go. It's in WMP unfortuantely though.
Ewwwww, don't touch it.
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Ewwwww, don't touch it.
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post #19 of 23
WMP is the devil.
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post #20 of 23
I always thought that estes rockets, with their payload compartments packed with flour, would make nice POOOF marks and they might steer clear of your area.
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post #21 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Aquafire...Keep in mind that shooting at an aircraft is a federal felony. Blinding the pilot with a searchlight may be as well.

As a balloon pilot, I clearly remember that some guy in the Midwest got several years in prison for shooting his rifle at a (manned) gas balloon some years ago. Sure, helicopters overhead are obnoxious, especially the news copters that serve no good purpose. But you wouldn't want to risk prison.

Voicing your concerns with the appropriate government officials is probably the best (legal) thing you can do. I'm glad you already did that.

Escher

Yep,
I ain't intending to do anything illegal.. Do yer think that some bird-lime might do the trick.

Actually my local council declared our precinct a No-go zone for nuclear weapons, no transports are allowed to use our roads to convey nuclear materials or WOMD..
No kidding..they even had a proper road sign displayed..but tourists ( bloody young backpack terrorists iz what I calls them ) kept flogging the signs no sooners as they wuz up..
There are 3 types of people in the world.

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Those who can't.
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There are 3 types of people in the world.

Those who count.

&

Those who can't.
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post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally posted by Aquafire
I ain't intending to do anything illegal.. Do yer think that some bird-lime might do the trick.

I'm not sure what bird-lime is. But if it's something that attracts birds, presumably to make the helicopters stay away, remember that birds are noisy too, and poop on top of that. At least the helicopters are just noisy and don't poop up your yard.

Here in DC, I'm en route between the White House and some of Bush's suburban destinations (e.g. Camp David). Marine One, or at least one of the three helicopters that become Marine One when the prez is sitting inside, flies over my back-yard several times a day. You can imagine how I've been tempted to run up to Jersey to buy a Bazooka from a cab driver.

Escher
"The only laptop computer that's useful is the one you have with you."
Until we get a 3 lbs sub-PowerBook, the 12-inch PowerBook will do.
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"The only laptop computer that's useful is the one you have with you."
Until we get a 3 lbs sub-PowerBook, the 12-inch PowerBook will do.
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post #23 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Escher
I'm not sure what bird-lime is. But if it's something that attracts birds, presumably to make the helicopters stay away, remember that birds are noisy too, and poop on top of that. At least the helicopters are just noisy and don't poop up your yard.

Here in DC, I'm en route between the White House and some of Bush's suburban destinations (e.g. Camp David). Marine One, or at least one of the three helicopters that become Marine One when the prez is sitting inside, flies over my back-yard several times a day. You can imagine how I've been tempted to run up to Jersey to buy a Bazooka from a cab driver.

Escher

Bird lime is a glue substance that traps birds little tootsies to the twigs they is perching on..

Re the bazooka thing..

I remember seeing a detective whodunnit film where some baddy was shooting people with water ..only it was frozen into a bullet shape..

They only caught him, because he got too fancy and used mineral water..

The gumshoe got suspicious when he realised cadavers shouldn't fizz so much...
\
There are 3 types of people in the world.

Those who count.

&

Those who can't.
Reply
There are 3 types of people in the world.

Those who count.

&

Those who can't.
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