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The earth is square. The bible says so!

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
I was fumbling around on the net last night, and I discovered THE TRUTH and found it quite humorous, yet terribly frightening at the same time.

Why I find it humorous is obviously (aside from the text itself being a satire) because people actually believe this stuff. And I cant help but laugh my ass off thinking about it.

That is also the reason that I find it terrifying. The fact that reasonably intelligent, reasonably educated people can remove themselves so far from reality, and believe something as ridiculous as a flat earth at the center of the universe (all based on a literal reading of the bible of course.) And I cant help but be scared that these people are wandering around in normal society; and could be handling our bank accounts, processing cable subscriptions, driving around in cars, or delivering the pizza I just ordered. Scary as hell, man.


What do you literalists think? (if there are any left here)



(Oh, and anyone here that says theyre from Idaho is a liar.)
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post #2 of 28
Quote:
Originally posted by DiscoCow
I was fumbling around on the net last night, and I discovered THE TRUTH and found it quite humorous, yet terribly frightening at the same time.

Why I find it humorous is obviously (aside from the text itself being a satire) because people actually believe this stuff. And I cant help but laugh my ass off thinking about it.

That is also the reason that I find it terrifying. The fact that reasonably intelligent, reasonably educated people can remove themselves so far from reality, and believe something as ridiculous as a flat earth at the center of the universe (all based on a literal reading of the bible of course.) And I cant help but be scared that these people are wandering around in normal society; and could be handling our bank accounts, processing cable subscriptions, driving around in cars, or delivering the pizza I just ordered. Scary as hell, man.


What do you literalists think? (if there are any left here)



(Oh, and anyone here that says theyre from Idaho is a liar.)

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post #3 of 28
Thread Starter 
Where's my damn pizza?!
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post #4 of 28
Revelations is the Twin Peaks of the Bible.
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post #5 of 28
Thread Starter 
Does no one else have something to say on this matter?



...Bueller...Bueller...Bueller?
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post #6 of 28
I think that's ridiculous, and I'm a Christian.
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post #7 of 28
Of course it's ridiculous, the world is obviously a flat, circular disc

Or a sphere. One of those two. Because I've seen a lunar eclipse and the earth's shadow was curved on the moon, so I know that the Earth must at least be circular.

That site was a joke anyway.
post #8 of 28
Quote:
Originally posted by Luca Rescigno
Of course it's ridiculous, the world is obviously a flat, circular disc

Or a sphere. One of those two. Because I've seen a lunar eclipse and the earth's shadow was curved on the moon, so I know that the Earth must at least be circular.

That site was a joke anyway.

blasphemy! the lunar eclipse is the moon being devouered by a giant wolf!

btw, nice to see a fellow minneapolite
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post #9 of 28
Quote:
Originally posted by CosmoNut
I think that's ridiculous, and I'm a Christian.

Well, I think that's ridiculous too, and I'm a Kopfian!
post #10 of 28
The idea that the world in the center of the universe is ridiculous.

Everyone knows it sits on the back of a space turtle, which is supported by four elephants.
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post #11 of 28
Wait ... is the moon cheddar or blue cheese?
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post #12 of 28
In High School I dated a chick who believed in Wicca (some scary witch thing). She believed that the earth came from some dude's seminal fluid.

What the hell did I care, she was hot. We created lots of mini-earths in our short relationship. ZING!

(that joke could have been a lot dirtier
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post #13 of 28
Quote:
Originally posted by Giaguara
Wait ... is the moon cheddar or blue cheese?

Green cheese, Giaguara, not yellow or blue cheese. It's green because it's been sitting up in the sky rotting for so long.

And rotting is not due to microorganisms, it's because of... because of... God's will! Yeah, that's it! Whenever someone leaves cheese out too long, God punishes them by making their cheese green and inedible.

Anyone who disagrees with me is a heathen and will burn in Hell! Giaguara, believing that the moon is cheese is not enough, you must believe that it is green as well!
post #14 of 28
Quote:
Originally posted by GardenOfEarthlyDelights
Revelations is the Twin Peaks of the Bible.

Best. Reply. Ever.

Succinct and to the point...

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post #15 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Willoughby
She believed that the earth came from some dude's seminal fluid.

Damn, I'd hate to see what happens when he urinates.
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post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by CosmoNut
I think that's ridiculous, and I'm a Christian.

Do you think that it's ridiculous because the earth has been proven to be a sphere? Or because (most of) the bible dictates that the earth is flat an immobile?

From this link:

Quote:
1 Chronicles 16:30: He has fixed the earth firm, immovable.

Psalm 93:1: Thou hast fixed the earth immovable and firm ...

Psalm 96:10: He has fixed the earth firm, immovable ...

Psalm 104:5: Thou didst fix the earth on its foundation so that it never can be shaken.

Isaiah 45:18: ...who made the earth and fashioned it, and himself fixed it fast...

Who knows? Maybe its all just a metaphor or parable to base our lives on or something.
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post #17 of 28
Quote:
Originally posted by DiscoCow
Damn, I'd hate to see what happens when he urinates.

Kidney stones...
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post #18 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Giaguara
Kidney stones...


Are they Evil Kidney stones?

*raises pinky to lip*


[/Dr. Evil]
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post #19 of 28
Don't forget. Scientist used to think that draining the blood from sick people and smearing bird droppings on their feet would cure them.
post #20 of 28
Quote:
Originally posted by Scott
Don't forget. Scientist used to think that draining the blood from sick people and smearing bird droppings on their feet would cure them.

Sounds like the sort of crap New Age Gurus dish out as "cures" for a $100 a throw..

& people are cuing up....Go figure...?
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post #21 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Scott
Don't forget. Scientist used to think that draining the blood from sick people and smearing bird droppings on their feet would cure them.

Im sure they developed these techniques using the scientific method.

No question about it.




At all.
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post #22 of 28
Given that the Universe is a relative system, there is no proof that the Earth is not immovable.

Anyway, I'm just try to raise a point based on relativity. Even my devoutly evangelical quasi-girlfriend would cite the listed passage a one that's metaphorical. I'd love to whip out other passages to back up my points, but I'm not a scholar of the Bible. Nor am I a literalist.

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post #23 of 28
Thread Starter 
From the New Testament:

Quote:
Revelation 20:8 :

...and will come out to deceive the nations at the four corners of the earth, Gog and Magog, in order to gather them for battle...

The Greek word for corner being used here is: gonia (go-nee'-ah); which means an angle, a corner, or a quarter.

How is that metaphorical?

Quote:
Job 28:24:

For he looketh to the ends of the earth, and seeth under the whole heaven...

Omnipotence, or a flat Earth with God in the sky?

Quote:
Psalm 104:5:

Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever.

Forever meaning about five billion more years; when the Earth is engulfed by the sun.

Quote:
Job 38:4-6 :

Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Declare, if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it? Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof...

Thats probably metaphorical...

Quote:
I Samuel 2:8:

...for the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and he hath set the world upon them.

Another metaphor!



Quote:
In Matthew 4:8:

Again, the devil taketh him [Jesus] up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them...

How would this be possible if the earth wasnt flat? Yes, I know; one could argue that The Devil revealed these kingdoms to Jesus in a vision of some sort; but why then was it necessary to be on top of that exceeding high mountain? Better reception or something?

Its still a little fuzzy there Satan, try moving your arm a little to the left.

Quote:
People gave ear to an upstart astrologer [Copernicus] who strove to show that the earth revolves, not the heavens or the firmament, the sun and the moon. Whoever wishes to appear clever must devise some new system, which of all systems is of course the very best. This fool (or 'man') wishes to reverse the entire science of astronomy; but sacred Scripture tells us that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still, and not the earth.

- Martin Luther

The End. for now
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post #24 of 28
Thread Starter 
In my opinion, it all boils down to this: saying that these type of passages are metaphorical is a cop-out. Just like the phrases God works in mysterious ways or There are still so many unexplained things in this world.

The bible is transparently human. Its not special in any major way. It has ups, downs, wisdom, foolishness, its good, & sometimes its very bad. Just like the men who wrote it. And sometimes I have trouble understanding why people hold it in such high regard (other than those motivated by fear, nostalgia, or some deep inability to look at the text objectively; while being subconsciously motivated by this culture, and its apparently inherited advocacy for the Bible.)


Or maybe Im just an iconoclast.
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post #25 of 28
Your mom is square. I say so.
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post #26 of 28
Thread Starter 
I would have to agree with you.
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post #27 of 28
We gotta help her find the funk.

proud resident of a failed state
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post #28 of 28
Thread Starter 
Damn right my mafizzle dizzle.
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