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post #121 of 169
Quote:
CoD:

I just printed that story out and mailed it to your parents.

Mr. and Mrs. E will be shocked! SHOCKED I SAY!

Just for that, I'm gonna kidnap Greg Davis and make him your wedding coordinator. You have no shot of ever pulling off your vows. Your best man will run curl routes two yards past the foyer entrance and never get the ring even close to the altar. I bet I can get Cedric Benson to kickj down the chapel doors and steal your photographer's too.

Quote:
Yes only 5 girls, it's a pity

Well I struck out with girl B and I never got to whoppatottie the pootytang on girl C so that makes it only three girls. Plus girls D and E are a seperate error from girl A so really it was only three girls and never more than 2 at once. That's nothing compared to a typical Powerdoc orgy at your exotic Catalan villa which you paid for through monies earned handing out overpriced boob jobs.
post #122 of 169
Mine was *not* overpriced. He did a beautiful job.
My brain is hung like a HORSE!
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My brain is hung like a HORSE!
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post #123 of 169
Hands down, mine was getting walked in on by a sister of mine while masturbating. Not a good feeling. But hey, most guys have been caught, so why be shamed?
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. - Albert Einstein

I wish developing great products was as easy as writing a check. If that were the case, then Microsoft would...
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. - Albert Einstein

I wish developing great products was as easy as writing a check. If that were the case, then Microsoft would...
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post #124 of 169
Those aren't beautiful. They look more like pancakes than chest melons. You must have borrowed your mirror from Gene Keady.
post #125 of 169
Well, my most embarrassing story is related to an ex-girlfriend of mine, me, and nookie. About 15 months before this story, I suffered a collapsed lung due to some rigourous cycling into the wind. I honestly don't know what happened, but it hurt like buggery.

I opted for the natural recovery (only 25% of the left lung collapsed), where it would heal itself. However, this can leave one prone to more collapses.

Cut to 15 months later. Girlfriend and I were having sex, and, somehow (don't ask ), my lung started to feel painful again, and breathing became difficult in the left lung. Uh oh. Symptoms were the same: dizzy, pain in lung etc. This was late on in the day - I couldn't exactly walk to the hospital, GF didn't drive...only one option left...asking her parents...

The rest is history, but needless to say, the car journey was slightly 'tense' as her Dad drove me to A&E/
post #126 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by ColanderOfDeath
Just for that, I'm gonna kidnap Greg Davis and make him your wedding coordinator. You have no shot of ever pulling off your vows. Your best man will run curl routes two yards past the foyer entrance and never get the ring even close to the altar. I bet I can get Cedric Benson to kickj down the chapel doors and steal your photographer's too.

Well I struck out with girl B and I never got to whoppatottie the pootytang on girl C so that makes it only three girls. Plus girls D and E are a seperate error from girl A so really it was only three girls and never more than 2 at once. That's nothing compared to a typical Powerdoc orgy at your exotic Catalan villa which you paid for through monies earned handing out overpriced boob jobs.

Hey my villa is a secret place, much more secret than anything here

Overpriced, that's not what you said when i put these small implants to make your butt look better

Thanks Kikaha, and pancakes are yummies
post #127 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by piwozniak
Hey, you know how you know that are geek... :-)

I was on my way to work, and heard few dudes talking about uploading jpgs to their ftp server and login being rejected, then it hit me. I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, this is embarrassing, i'm a geek.

...

(Luckily this Sunday we're going to hit the slopes, drink few beers and shoot the s***, so this will un-geek me for a short moment)


dude, there is nothing wrong with being a geek. the thing you don't wanna be is a nerd...ahh! the difference between geeks and nerds is...geeks get laid
I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
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I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
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post #128 of 169
Geeks bite the heads off chickens.
post #129 of 169
the difference between geeks and nerds is.... geeks think that it matters.
post #130 of 169
One of my most embarassing moments has to be when I went to play basketball at an indoor facility with some friends. We all had to go to the bathroom before hand and we walked into one, they all got stauls or urinals, except for me...I thought I had one, but the door was jammed. I kept pulling and pulling, I then rammed into it only to see some poor guy sitting there doing his business....I QUICKLY ran out of the bathroom, so embarassed but laughing my ass off. I still dont know why the guy in their didnt say "excuse me", maybe he was too scared!? LOL, an embarassing moment but hillarious too. Shoulder rushing an occupied staul, lmfao.
People that are passionate about what they do, truly believe in their good cause, have a clear vision and understanding of what they want, those people are heroes.
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People that are passionate about what they do, truly believe in their good cause, have a clear vision and understanding of what they want, those people are heroes.
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post #131 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by Messiahtosh
One of my most embarassing moments has to be when I went to play basketball at an indoor facility with some friends. We all had to go to the bathroom before hand and we walked into one, they all got stauls or urinals, except for me...I thought I had one, but the door was jammed. I kept pulling and pulling, I then rammed into it only to see some poor guy sitting there doing his business....I QUICKLY ran out of the bathroom, so embarassed but laughing my ass off. I still dont know why the guy in their didnt say "excuse me", maybe he was too scared!? LOL, an embarassing moment but hillarious too. Shoulder rushing an occupied staul, lmfao.


hahahaha, that's not embarassing for you, it's embarassin for the guy, funny as hell though
I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
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I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
Reply
post #132 of 169
I was having sex with my girlfriend in her shower. The combination of alcohol from the day at the beach, mild heat stroke, super hot water, and exertion made me pass out for about 5 seconds.

The bad part is I was uh... like... well, we'll just say that one side of the shower was being pushed out a bit, and mine were the only feet on the floor. I almost dropped her.



Couldn't have been that bad I guess, she still married me. heh heh
post #133 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by murbot
I was having sex with my girlfriend in her shower. The combination of alcohol from the day at the beach, mild heat stroke, super hot water, and exertion made me pass out for about 5 seconds.

The bad part is I was uh... like... well, we'll just say that one side of the shower was being pushed out a bit, and mine were the only feet on the floor. I almost dropped her.



Couldn't have been that bad I guess, she still married me. heh heh

nice!!! that's friggin' hilarious!
I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
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I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
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post #134 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by BuonRotto
Geeks bite the heads off chickens.

old time (19th century) geeks used to wear over sized pants with the pant cuffs cinched up.
then to amusement off the paying customers he would drop a couple of rats down his pants, the patrons mood would reverse as blood would start to ooze through the pants, but the geek was nonplussed by the audiences horror....then with a flourish the geek would pull out a live weasel he had secreted in his pants that ate the rats, to the audience's delight.
post #135 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by superkarate monkeydeathcar
old time (19th century) geeks used to wear over sized pants with the pant cuffs cinched up.
then to amusement off the paying customers he would drop a couple of rats down his pants, the patrons mood would reverse as blood would start to ooze through the pants, but the geek was nonplussed by the audiences horror....then with a flourish the geek would pull out a live weasel he had secreted in his pants that ate the rats, to the audience's delight.

some interesting info can be found at the wikipedia.
post #136 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by murbot
I was having sex with my girlfriend in her shower. The combination of alcohol from the day at the beach, mild heat stroke, super hot water, and exertion made me pass out for about 5 seconds.

The bad part is I was uh... like... well, we'll just say that one side of the shower was being pushed out a bit, and mine were the only feet on the floor. I almost dropped her.



Couldn't have been that bad I guess, she still married me. heh heh

D'oh. Did something similar once, but we ended up pulling the shower rod clean off the walls...

Try explaining to your folks why you're late meeting them for dinner when *that* happens.
My brain is hung like a HORSE!
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My brain is hung like a HORSE!
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post #137 of 169
Thread Starter 
In a sports car. Apparently the parking brake between the seats was on, pulled into the highest position.

I don't ever remember touching the parking brake, but the next day I discovered 37 distinct bruises on my thigh, which could only have come from the tip of the parking brake.

Contact with that brake must have hurt, to give me such bruises. But I don't remember a thing. Too much passion.....

Not an embarrassing story, but still.....

Then there was the night (I was 15) when my dad came out to the car (parked on the street in front of the house), and tapped on the window. My friend and I were in a reclining position (clothes in considerable disarray, but basically dressed) when I looked up and saw my dad's face looking in. Oh god.

He made us come into the dark kitchen, where he told me how disappointed he was with me, and he told my friend he never wanted to see him again. It was SO humiliating.

And my dad had just that very day come back from travelling the world for 7 or 8 months.
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #138 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by Carol A
I am not stick-thin or fat, but 'just right'; and my ass actually won the title of 'best ass on campus', in an informal contest held by a fairly large group of males.

You are one of a kind, Carol. I can't think of any (other? ) female that would say anywhere their ass won that title .. unless it was something like Naomi Campbell's, and she was extremely drunk when saying that. Because I frankly think even Naomi would never say such.
How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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post #139 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Giaguara
You are one of a kind, Carol. I can't think of any (other? ) female that would say anywhere their ass won that title .. unless it was something like Naomi Campbell's, and she was extremely drunk when saying that. Because I frankly think even Naomi would never say such.



I was provoked beyond endurance (by you and tonton).



Oh, and I can't think of any other female who would say their place of residence was in some guy's pants.


Meow.....meow.....meow.....meow.....meow.....etc.



PS I liked winning that title. I didn't even know there was a contest going on until I was told I was the winner (by a landslide). I've always had a nice ass. It's a little hard to keep it a secret. hahahahaha I'm mentioning it now because you seem to find it so annoying. Did you read BuonRotto's comment in the workplace romances thread? You didn't say.

And I would NEVER have mentioned the contest had you and tonton not gone on and on......and on and on.......and.......

......calling my veracity, character, AND physical attributes into question. It's just too absurd.

Please let this be the last communication between us.
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #140 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by Carol A
:

Please let this be the last communication between us.

According to psychologists, it's the worst thing that a women can say to an another one .

This thread is really becoming emberassing
post #141 of 169
Oh pardon ma'am .. got to update my location. 'am currently 4047,5 miles from his pants.


I remember once walking straight towards the automatic doors which were not working. My nose hurt still the day after. Must have looked hilarious, but ever since I guess I look like a clown in front of the automatic doors if they don't want to get open for me.. I do everything to avoid walking towards them closed again.
How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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How many problems have you modified or originated in the past 1 day?
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post #142 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Powerdoc
According to psychologists, it's the worst thing that a women can say to an another one .

This thread is really becoming emberassing

"...the worst thing"? Oh, I don't know. Not if you're planning on it actually being the last communication.

Sorry, but I've had enough, and I've taken the gloves off. I can be catty with the best of them if I have to.

I was going to say I hadn't been in an exchange like this since junior high. But frankly, I've never been in an exchange like this. It's something I just don't do. However, I guess there's a first time for everything.

I do hope it's over with; but if not, maybe you should cover your eyes, Powerdoc. It won't be pretty. I don't plan on taking any more petty 'needling' lying down. I tried being polite, but it didn't work.

(Btw, I'm a mod on another board. Hard to believe, eh? )
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #143 of 169
well, i think the only solution in this case is to post an image of said award winning ass.

that should settle things once and for all.
post #144 of 169
did someone say cat fight? i want a live video feed.
post #145 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by Carol A
"...the worst thing"? Oh, I don't know. Not if you're planning on it actually being the last communication.

Sorry, but I've had enough, and I've taken the gloves off. I can be catty with the best of them if I have to.

I was going to say I hadn't been in an exchange like this since junior high. But frankly, I've never been in an exchange like this. It's something I just don't do. However, I guess there's a first time for everything.

I do hope it's over with; but if not, maybe you should cover your eyes, Powerdoc. It won't be pretty. I don't plan on taking any more petty 'needling' lying down. I tried being polite, but it didn't work.

(Btw, I'm a mod on another board. Hard to believe, eh? )

I was just kidding in order to relax people here. 8)

Sometimes, the communication is difficult on internet. Recently i have been involved in a little flamewar in an another forum, because i did not know enough the others peoples and the reverse. So the others members did not know if i was serious, half serious or joking, and things get heated. That was ridiculous, and i was pretty angry about the others and myself. I was really embarassed
post #146 of 169
This entire thread is an embarrassment to the humanity..
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? _(W.C. Fields)
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What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? _(W.C. Fields)
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post #147 of 169
i just found a website dedicated to just the topic at hand. aqui
post #148 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by thuh Freak
i just found a website dedicated to just the topic at hand. aqui

good website, pretty funny
I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
Reply
I think I think...therefore, I think I am.

We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more...
Reply
post #149 of 169
My maist embarrassing moment came in front o' the cameras during a screen test for a major International acting role....

Years ago my old pal Willie and I worked at Clachnacudden FC (Fitba' ye understand) as ground keepers; looking efter the grass, repairing the cludgies, cleaning the paper Bovril cups in time for the next match; that kind o' thing.

One day a notice appeared in the village hall tae the effect that a film producer frae America wid' be arriving wi' a camera crew tae screen test potential candidates for a forthcoming animated documentary aboot everyday life in America.

Well - we baith put doon oor names and on the day things were going weel for us baith - we fair looked the part wi' oor big ginger beards and cartoonesque features, but when I slipped whisky intae his tea at break time he put diesel frae the tractor intae my whisky and efter that I jist rolled aboot the flair burbling and roaring wi' laughter, and I couldnae remember my lines. He got the part and I got - in quick succession- an anvil, a grand piano and a heavy safe falling frae the sky right on tae my heid.

The rest is history. He's noo a major international star reprising his groundskeeping role in a major televsion series aroond the world. Willie got the fame and the groovy chicks while I got the cludgies at Clach.

Still, withoot wishing tae sound bitter I sometimes feel he comes across on the tv as being a wee bit two dimensional, no' tae say flat, but there ye go.
Heedrum Ho
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Heedrum Ho
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post #150 of 169
I once went on a lunch date with a Lebanese girl (in a Lebanese restaurant on Edgeware Road, Londons little West Bank.) We were working together; we saw a lot of each other. This was our first date.

Half-way through the meal, I asked her X, are your parents very rich? (It had dawned on me that they might be rich.)

She sighed and said that yes, they were indeed very rich, and she had learned to say so without any fuss because it was better than pretending.

What do they do? I asked. She replied that her father was the former owner of [very famous manufacturer of yellow bulldozers] and had just sold the company, which he formerly owned.

OK. This aint the kind of thing that phases a Sabbah, and shes nice enough, so we continue our lunch. I would pay.

The bill comes. I proffer my card. Im sorry, Sir, they say, We dont take Switch.

Damn. The embarrassment. I go to the cashpoint. It gives me no money. I have paid my rent that day, or the day before.

Damn.

I return to the restaurant.

X, I say, I have no money. Im sorry.

She has no money either. So we get a lift in a white delivery van driven by a waiter, with her sitting on my lap, to her fathers mansion in Maida Vale, where she pops in and gets the money for the bill off her dad.

We are still friends.
post #151 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by groverat
I have never been caught masturbating.

I shit my pants at work once... food poisoning. But no-one knew except me, I felt it and then got my ass home with a quickness, no speaking to anyone. E-mailed my boss, "Went home. Very sick. - Adam"

I called a teacher "mom" in 4th grade, holy Jesus I wanted to curl up into a ball and die a thousand painful deaths.

I called a teacher "Dad" in 4th grade. Yes, a female teacher.
post #152 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by alcimedes
well, i think the only solution in this case is to post an image of said award winning ass.

that should settle things once and for all.

How about if I post a 'state fair' image of a mule with a blue ribbon on the bridle?

Wouldn't that be an "award-winning ass"?

hehehehahaha.....
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #153 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by thuh Freak
did someone say cat fight? i want a live video feed.

We could move the "altercation" to a low-rise vat of chocolate pudding. Whaddaya think?
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #154 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by thuh Freak
i just found a website dedicated to just the topic at hand. aqui

The one with the dog was pretty embarrassing. Cringe. Dogs can't seem to leave well enough alone, ever noticed that?

(I LOVE dogs, though.)
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #155 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Mac o' the Isles

but when I slipped whisky intae his tea at break time he put diesel frae the tractor intae my whisky and efter that I jist rolled aboot the flair burbling and roaring wi' laughter, and I couldnae remember my lines. He got the part and I got - in quick succession- an anvil, a grand piano and a heavy safe falling frae the sky right on tae my heid.

Still, withoot wishing tae sound bitter I sometimes feel he comes across on the tv as being a wee bit two dimensional, no' tae say flat, but there ye go.

Well, Sir Mac, it was fate. He was more ruthless than you. Dog eat dog, and all that. But your life now is probably better than his, or at least just as good. So, no worries, eh?

Btw, isn't diesel poisonous when ingested?????
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #156 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Mac o' the Isles
Willie got the fame and the groovy chicks while I got the cludgies at Clach.

Still, withoot wishing tae sound bitter I sometimes feel he comes across on the tv as being a wee bit two dimensional, no' tae say flat, but there ye go.



Agh! <---Did I spell that right?
post #157 of 169
Quote:
Originally posted by Carol A
I am not stick-thin or fat, but 'just right'; and my ass actually won the title of 'best ass on campus', in an informal contest held by a fairly large group of males.

I think that we may have found your membership subtitle, if you want it....
tribalfusion?
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tribalfusion?
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post #158 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Chinney
I think that we may have found your membership subtitle, if you want it....

You mean: "Just right" ?

Hmm. Well, it's a little ambiguous, don't you think?

"Right" could mean 'accurate'; or 'conservative', 'Republican', 'right wing'.......
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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post #159 of 169
Carol, please note that I let it go a long time ago.
post #160 of 169
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by tonton
Carol, please note that I let it go a long time ago.

OK
Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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Much have I seen and known...yet all experience is an arch, wherethrough gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades forever and forever when I move. - Tennyson
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