or Connect
AppleInsider › Forums › Other Discussion › AppleOutsider › Scientology
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Scientology

post #1 of 54
Thread Starter 
Here's a religion that everyone can enjoy mocking! I heard about it again recently because of Tom Cruise talking about it as he promotes his newest blockbuster.

Here is how the Church of Scientology defines itself:
Quote:
What is Scientology?

The aims of Scientology are a world without insanity, without criminals, without war, where the able can prosper and where Man is free to rise to greater heights.

And if you were to ask any Scientologist they would tell you it is a practical religion, with practical answers tools that can be applied to achieve greater awareness and purpose in the here and now.

Here's what the Wikipedia article on Scientology says about it:
Quote:
The central beliefs of Scientology (or rather the early teachings) are that a person is an immortal spiritual being (referred to as a thetan) who possesses a mind and a body, and that the person is basically good. The life one should lead is one of continual spiritual and ethical education, awareness, and improvement, so that he/she can be happy and achieve ultimate salvation, as well as being more effective in creating a better world. Scientology claims to offer specific methodologies to assist a person to achieve this.

Spirituality, awareness, yadda yadda. OK, whatever. But then in the next paragraph:
Quote:
Those that reach the higher teachings (OT III) within the Church of Scientology will learn all about Xenu, the evil intergalactic ruler who implanted "thetans" or alien spirits, in earth's volcanoes 75 million years ago, after which they escaped and invaded human bodies. The ultimate belief of Scientology is that you are possessed by the spirits of aliens murdered 75 million years ago by "Xenu" and you have to exorcise these spirits. The cost of reaching OT III approaches $360,000.

Uh, an evil galactic ruler named xenu who implanted aliens in volcanoes 75 million years ago?

Apparently L. Ron Hubbard made all this stuff up in order to make money.
post #2 of 54
www.xenu.net

More info than you could ever want about this so-called 'religion' (read: cult).
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
post #3 of 54
I want to make a religion that uses the Starship Enterprise for intergalactic Holy Rolling but you have to reach a higher state before you can accomplish that. Plus i will only charge $340,000. Thats a deal!! Funny how man needs a idol of some sort isnt it? Scientology use to almost force themself on folks in Clearwater years ago. Like the world needs another fricking man made religion. Its about two things, first is your money,2nd is your mind. Its what all the worlds pathetic religions have in common. Nothing like telling others how to live.
VOTE OUT ALL INCUMBENTS! Its the only way we can clean up Congress.
Reply
VOTE OUT ALL INCUMBENTS! Its the only way we can clean up Congress.
Reply
post #4 of 54
A religion around the Starship Enterprise would probably violate copyright. I'd go for something in the public domain, like Jules Verne or H.G. Wells. Morlocks make great cult material.
I was promised flying cars. Where are the flying cars?
Reply
I was promised flying cars. Where are the flying cars?
Reply
post #5 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by BRussell
Uh, an evil galactic ruler named xenu who implanted aliens in volcanoes 75 million years ago?

Ah, now that explains why those Dianetics commercials which used to run on TV featured a graphic of an erupting volcano.

At any rate, it should be obvious to any fool that Xenu is only one of three evil intergalactic rulers, which include Xenu's son Xandor, and Xenu's holographic alter ego, Skip. Scientology is such a complete incoherent mess because these crazy scientologists have failed to understand the unifying power of triune evil overlording.

I for one welcome our new trinitarian evil overlords.
We were once so close to heaven
Peter came out and gave us medals
Declaring us the nicest of the damned -- They Might Be Giants          See the stars at skyviewcafe.com
Reply
We were once so close to heaven
Peter came out and gave us medals
Declaring us the nicest of the damned -- They Might Be Giants          See the stars at skyviewcafe.com
Reply
post #6 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by shetline
Ah, now that explains why those Dianetics commercials which used to run on TV featured a graphic of an erupting volcano.

At any rate, it should be obvious to any fool that Xenu is only one of three evil intergalactic rulers, which include Xenu's son Xandor, and Xenu's holographic alter ego, Skip. Scientology is such a complete incoherent mess because these crazy scientologists have failed to understand the unifying power of triune evil overlording.

I for one welcome our new trinitarian evil overlords.

I wonder if they caught on that L.Ron Hubbard wrote Science Fiction??? or that he was a tax dodger living on his boat??? Funny. People are a mess and all the religions of the world want to help
VOTE OUT ALL INCUMBENTS! Its the only way we can clean up Congress.
Reply
VOTE OUT ALL INCUMBENTS! Its the only way we can clean up Congress.
Reply
post #7 of 54
I found this site that really shows how Tom Cruise uses his scientological powers to brainwash other celebrities.

It's quite shocking.

http://tcruiseko.ytmnd.com/
post #8 of 54
Quote:
a person is an immortal spiritual being (referred to as a thetan) who possesses a mind and a body

this is the funniest part. totally goes against the five Aggregates. just plays on death-fear.

--B
...


...
Reply
...


...
Reply
post #9 of 54
as crazy as scientology is, is it any nuttier than any of the other world religions? christianity, islam, Judaism, buddhism, and those crazy kids in utah, all have some rather bizarre beliefs when it come right down to it.
post #10 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by running with scissors
as crazy as scientology is, is it any nuttier than any of the other world religions? christianity, islam, Judaism, buddhism, and those crazy kids in utah, all have some rather bizarre beliefs when it come right down to it.

Amen.

Scientology is somewhere in the middle of Christianity, Coca-Colaism, Scientism and the Jobs Cult.

Just because a faith has been around for longer doesn´t make it more legitimate. The feeling of the believer is not more or less false. Its true for him or her.
"I reject your reality and substitute it with my own" - President Bush
Reply
"I reject your reality and substitute it with my own" - President Bush
Reply
post #11 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by Anders
Amen.

Scientology is somewhere in the middle of Christianity, Coca-Colaism, Scientism and the Jobs Cult.

Just because a faith has been around for longer doesn´t make it more legitimate. The feeling of the believer is not more or less false. Its true for him or her.

Also, if you tythe at 10% like the Church asks you too, you will pay more than $360K over your lifetime.

The target audience (rich people) able to pay $360K to the scientologists would pay way more than that to the Church as tythes, so the Scientologists are saving those people money!
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
post #12 of 54
One evening, some time ago, I set up my camera across the street from the Scientology office in Toronto and took a flash photograph every 5 minutes.

After watching people scurry around the building, picking up phones, glancing out the doors at me, and twice asking me what I was doing, the police showed up. The Scientologists wanted to file trespass charges against me.

I argued that I was on the public sidewalk ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET.

They were under the impression, then, that I could not take pictures of their private building.

The cop was having none of their crap, and not so politely thanked them for wasting his time.

After the cop left, the Scientology staff came outside with signs, and stood right in front of my camera. I started taking pictures of the staff who were blocking me and it was like I'd farted. They scampered back into the building so quickly.

Aah. The good old days when I had nothing better to do with my time.

One good thing about cults: They're fun to play with (excepting the ones with guns).
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
post #13 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by running with scissors
as crazy as scientology is, is it any nuttier than any of the other world religions? christianity, islam, Judaism, buddhism, and those crazy kids in utah, all have some rather bizarre beliefs when it come right down to it.

buddhism?

--B
...


...
Reply
...


...
Reply
post #14 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by audiopollution
One evening, some time ago, I set up my camera across the street from the Scientology office in Toronto and took a flash photograph every 5 minutes.

That's pretty weird. Why would you do that?
post #15 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by BRussell
That's pretty weird. Why would you do that?

I was bored. They seemed like a legitimate target for some confusion.
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
post #16 of 54
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
post #17 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by audiopollution
I was bored. They seemed like a legitimate target for some confusion.

hmmm pissing of Scientologists....that never ends well...

"My 8th grade math teacher once said: "You can't help it if you're dumb, you are born that way. But stupid is self inflicted."" -Hiro. 

...sometimes it's both
Reply

"My 8th grade math teacher once said: "You can't help it if you're dumb, you are born that way. But stupid is self inflicted."" -Hiro. 

...sometimes it's both
Reply
post #18 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by BRussell
Uh, an evil galactic ruler named xenu who implanted aliens in volcanoes 75 million years ago? [/B]

How is that any crazier than a god who created billions of stars with millions of planets, all for the sole benefit of some bipedal hominids (who just happen to be made in that god's image) on one small blue planet?

(not that I think very highly of Scientology either)
You need skeptics, especially when the science gets very big and monolithic. -James Lovelock
The Story of Stuff
Reply
You need skeptics, especially when the science gets very big and monolithic. -James Lovelock
The Story of Stuff
Reply
post #19 of 54
The Ottawa Scientologists use very pretty women on the street, to try and get you to come in and watch a video.

I was weak, and it took me an hour or so to get free.

At least the Hare Krishnas would give me free food - I got nothing from the scientologists.
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
post #20 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by Tulkas
hmmm pissing of Scientologists....that never ends well...

When we were standing with the policeman, they tried to get my name four or five times. I explained that I wasn't comfortable giving them my name considering the things I'd read about them. The cop seemed to be fairly clued in and told them that I didn't have to. I've yet to have someone standing outside my place taking pictures so I think I made it out alive!

They're not the friendliest folks when they're pissed off, but it's those damned Shriners that you've gotta watch out for.
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
"Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell
Reply
post #21 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by iPoster
How is that any crazier than a god who created billions of stars with millions of planets, all for the sole benefit of some bipedal hominids (who just happen to be made in that god's image) on one small blue planet?

(not that I think very highly of Scientology either)

It's just how specific and involved the Scientology thing is. I mean, they even know the evil intergalactic ruler's name.

It's one thing to think there must be a creator. Most of the major religions around today were created long before we understood that we were just one small planet. It's perfectly understandable to think there was a creator, IMO.

But in general, I think you're right that religions you're not familiar with seem weird, whereas the ones you know (not to mention believe in) don't.
post #22 of 54
I wonder how recruitment is doing these days?

I know they fought tooth and nail from anyone spilling the beans about the whole space alien thing. I think the idea was that by the time you had given them hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of your life you and you finally got the inside scoop, you would be reluctant, or possibly incapable, of leaping to your feet and shouting "Evil space vampires! Oh shit! I'm a complete fucking idiot!" And making a beeline for the door.

But now that the secrecy is blown, I would think a lot of people would want to know all about the goofy sci-fi stuff right off the bat.

Personally, I would like to see the Mormons and the Scientologists duke it out in the "patently ridiculous 'religions' that opportunistic nut-jobs made up recently" bowl.

Not that I'm not charmed by the various unlikely happenings of antiquity, it's just the relative proximity of the origins of those two groups grant us fascinating insight into the mechanisms of a certain kind of myth making.

The real wild card appears to be the force of personality of the progenitor (in that, I guess, nothing has changed for thousands of years). I mean, there must be a steady flow of "inspired" people peddling their revelations, and I would have to assume that at least some of them are more plausible/compelling than either Scientology or Mormonism, yet these two made the leap into a mass belief system.

Is it that Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard are just real persuasive dudes? Because you wouldn't think the story they had to tell was going to get them anywhere.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #23 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by addabox
Is it that Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard are just real persuasive dudes? Because you wouldn't think the story they had to tell was going to get them anywhere.

See John Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven for an utterly heretical treatment of the history of (violence in) the (fanatical wing of the) Mormon church. One of the things he discusses is Joe Smith's charisma (he was arrested for being a con artist in NY) and places it in the context of the proliferation of religious revelations/cults/new religions. Krakauer seems to think that it was purely by sheer force of personality that he got so many converts.
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
post #24 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by midwinter
See John Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven for an utterly heretical treatment of the history of (violence in) the (fanatical wing of the) Mormon church. One of the things he discusses is Joe Smith's charisma (he was arrested for being a con artist in NY) and places it in the context of the proliferation of religious revelations/cults/new religions. Krakauer seems to think that it was purely by sheer force of personality that he got so many converts.

Now that sounds very interesting. I'll have to give it a read.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #25 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by addabox
Now that sounds very interesting. I'll have to give it a read.

It's a good read. I misspelled his name. Here's his official site: click
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
post #26 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by midwinter
It's a good read. I misspelled his name. Here's his official site: click

Huh. Fundamentalist Mormons.

I guess it never occurred to me that Mormons could have achieved sufficient modernization to generate a fundamentalist wing. I wonder if Scientology will ever have some sort of reformist/fundamentalist schism. That would be entertaining.

I would like to suggest that the phrase on the web page blurb that describes the book as "a bone-chilling narrative of messianic delusion, savage violence, polygamy, and unyielding faith." be adopted as our slogan here at AO. While I'm waiting for that idea to be adopted by popular acclaim, I'll get the ball rolling by taking it for my sig.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #27 of 54
Quote:
I guess it never occurred to me that Mormons could have achieved sufficient modernization to generate a fundamentalist wing.

Fundie mormons are 2% of the mormon population, and they are the ones who have multiple wives (non-fundie mormons gave up on bigamy in the 1800s in order to avoid being slaughtered by US troops). They usually live in towns that are 100% fundie (and the towns are in Mexico, Southern Utah (near grand canyon), and British Columbia).

The main victoms of the fundies are the daughters, who are married off to neighbors at age 13. I was in favor of bigamy (as a general principal, as a libertarian I think that people should be as free as possible) until I read the book - I didn't realise the whole dynamic about young girl children and bigamy.
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
post #28 of 54
I love the title of one of Hubbard's (uncomplimentary) biographies: Bare Faced Messiah.

It's a hilarious (and chilling) read.
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
post #29 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by e1618978
Fundie mormons are 2% of the mormon population, and they are the ones who have multiple wives (non-fundie mormons gave up on bigamy in the 1800s in order to avoid being slaughtered by US troops). They usually live in towns that are 100% fundie (and the towns are in Mexico, Southern Utah (near grand canyon), and British Columbia).

And Texas, now. Warren Jeffs (president and prophet of the FLDS chuch) picked up camp and moved to the boonies of Texas, which, I think, deserves his sorry ass.
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
post #30 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by midwinter
And Texas, now. Warren Jeffs (president and prophet of the FLDS chuch) picked up camp and moved to the boonies of Texas, which, I think, deserves his sorry ass.

Absolutely. Texas has been exporting its particular brand of vicious madness for a while now, maybe it's time we started sending our scary neighbors down Texas way.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #31 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by addabox
Absolutely. Texas has been exporting its particular brand of vicious madness for a while now, maybe it's time we started sending our scary neighbors down Texas way.

no thanks, we have a enough loonies to contend with. hell, the churches are full of them. just ask benny hinn, he's been taking advantage of them for years.
post #32 of 54
WoWa !!!


You GUYS wana join MY religion ???




Its called MACchine !!!




We have a COOOOL song, its called "WELCOME TO MACchine !!!"

NOW SEND ME MAJOR BUCKs !!!!!!

post #33 of 54
Quote:
We have a COOOOL song, its called "WELCOME TO MACchine !!!"

Already taken, by Pink Floyd:

Welcome my son, welcome to the machine.
Where have you been?
It's alright we know where you've been.
You've been in the pipeline, filling in time,
Provided with toys and 'Scouting for Boys'.
You bought a guitar to punish your ma,
And you didn't like school, and now you
know you're nobody's fool,
So welcome to the machine.

Welcome my son, welcome to the machine.
What did you dream?
It's alright we told you what to dream.
You dreamed of a big star,
He played a mean guitar,
He always ate in the Steak Bar.
He loved to drive in his Jaguar.
So welcome to the Machine.
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
45 2a3 300b 211 845 833
Reply
post #34 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by e1618978
Already taken, by Pink Floyd:

Welcome my son, welcome to the MACchine.
Where have you been?
It's alright we know where you've been.
You've been in the pipeline, filling in time,
Provided with toys and 'Scouting for Boys'.
You bought a guitar to punish your ma,
And you didn't like school, and now you
know you're nobody's fool,
So welcome to the MACchine.

Welcome my son, welcome to the MACchine.
What did you dream?
It's alright we told you what to dream.
You dreamed of a big star,
He played a mean guitar,
He always ate in the Steak Bar.
He loved to drive in his Jaguar.
So welcome to the MACchine.


Thanks I was looking for that...
post #35 of 54
I live near a couple of big Scientologist buildings and they are always in the subways giving out free "stress tests". I never pass up an opportunity to either yell out cult as I walk by or ask people taking the stress test if they are aware it is a cult.
post #36 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by bergz
buddhism?

--B


Well, there are some rather strange sects of Buddhism. I believe it's the Japanese Pure Land Buddhists that believe that if we all say the name of Amida (?, correct if I'm wrong anybody) Buddha enough times that he will return and make a new pure land for us to live in.

Buddhism is very open-ended. While the majority of Buddhists are atheists, the teachings of the Buddha do not entirely rule out a theology, if you need one. Things like that.
12" iBook G4, 800MHz, 640 MB RAM, 40 GB HD, AE
Reply
12" iBook G4, 800MHz, 640 MB RAM, 40 GB HD, AE
Reply
post #37 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by addabox
I would like to suggest that the phrase on the web page blurb that describes the book as "a bone-chilling narrative of messianic delusion, savage violence, polygamy, and unyielding faith." be adopted as our slogan here at AO. While I'm waiting for that idea to be adopted by popular acclaim, I'll get the ball rolling by taking it for my sig.


That's funny. Kudos.


As to Mormons, I think they have several reasons for gaining so much popularity as a cult, beyond your average cult tactics.

Going to a frontier territory and populating it via polygamy helped a lot.

Even today, they still have tend to have lots of children.

The vast majority of their converts are relatives.

I think the religion is fairly nutty, but I don't really have anything against it. One of my best friends is Mormon (although he seems to have some doubts), they're, in general, very nice, family-oriented people, they have an awesome choir (seriously, the MTC is one of the best in the world), and, ironically, were amongst the first groups to bring the practice of smoking marijuana to the United States.

Plus, in disaster situations and/or the apocalypse, they stockpile enough non-perishable food to support themselves and a few neighbors for a month.

Sure, they had some terrible practices in their early history, but every group has a few skeletons in the closet. I mean, shit, slavery was still going on in this country less than one hundred and fifty years ago.
12" iBook G4, 800MHz, 640 MB RAM, 40 GB HD, AE
Reply
12" iBook G4, 800MHz, 640 MB RAM, 40 GB HD, AE
Reply
post #38 of 54
Thread Starter 
Tom Cruise, the high school drop out, is spreading his knowledge to the masses.
post #39 of 54
Quote:
Originally posted by BRussell
Tom Cruise, the high school drop out, is spreading his knowledge to the masses.

Isn't amazing how two people, a talk show host and an actor, both highly paid for their supposed abilities to communicate and express, can talk so much and accomplish so little in the way of meaningful communication?
We were once so close to heaven
Peter came out and gave us medals
Declaring us the nicest of the damned -- They Might Be Giants          See the stars at skyviewcafe.com
Reply
We were once so close to heaven
Peter came out and gave us medals
Declaring us the nicest of the damned -- They Might Be Giants          See the stars at skyviewcafe.com
Reply
post #40 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by shetline
Isn't amazing how two people, a talk show host and an actor, both highly paid for their supposed abilities to communicate and express, can talk so much and accomplish so little in the way of meaningful communication?

I love it:
Quote:
TOM CRUISE: No, you see. Here's the problem. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.

But my favorite passage is :
Quote:
MATT LAUER: You're-- you're-- it's very impressive to listen to you. Because clearly, you've done the homework. And-- and you know the subject.

Matt Lauer is just blown away by Cruise's intellect.

The context behind this is that Scientology pitches itself as an "applied religion," a competitor to psychiatry, with its own kinds of psychotherapy and self-help. When Cruise criticizes psychiatry, he's following the long-standing Scientology line that came from L. Ron's rejection by them.

And it's not like most of what Cruise is saying is all that far out - many people think psychiatric meds are over-prescribed, including many in the field itself. You don't need to follow some absurd religion to be concerned about that.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: AppleOutsider
AppleInsider › Forums › Other Discussion › AppleOutsider › Scientology