Commode thread

Depends on what I am doing at the time my colon decides to make a move.

I say we combine this thread with the "one Picture a day" thread, you know, just for shits and giggles!

Thanks, I'll be here all week!

i find the toilet to be rather uncomfortable, so i like to get my business done and then go sit on the couch for my reading. if i had screaming kids or something though, i might spend a LOT more time in the bathroom.

Wireless sure is neat.
flick.

I agree with flick.

If Foreign Policy has the new issue out I go for that, if not Ayn Rand or FHM.

\\
Why would you have to plug in your toilet? You're weird.

Thats the problem and really I just got tired of unplugging it.
flick.

<reminds self not to buy your used laptop>

Get in, do my thing (in peace and without distractions), and get out.

Generally a magazine of some sort. Sometimes I'll turn on the shower radio while I do my business.

PSP.

PSP..
Pee
Sh##t
Pee?

I guess that makes sense..
flick.

1. Worry that the Alien (from the movie) is going to climb out of the toilet and bite my butt.

2. Think about my fantastic toilet (Toto sanaclean - it is microscopically smooth, so you don't need to clean it)

3. Wonder how my kids use up all the toilet paper, and still forget to replace the roll.

4. Think about cars

You'd be great in second grade.

I just got the feeling I really don't contribute much around here..
flick.

Just replaced my toilets with Toto brand - they have a non-stick coating that keeps them clean (supposedly you have to clean them with dish soap every so often to remove oils).

It also has a hyper powered 1.6 gallon flush - this is the toilet to get should you need a new one.

I used to keep a bookcase in my bathroom. I'm like Al Bundy.

It is VERY STRANGE that you mentioned this. I just bought a condo, and the master bathroom has two toilets in it, both of which are pretty old and busted. I was thinking about replacing one of them with a urinal or a squat toilet, both of which Toto makes readily available models for.

It would be killer to have a urinal in there.

Are you sure one isn't a bidet?

Yes. The place was built in the late sixties, apparently by an architect who was a little bizarre. The bedroom and study are linked by the bathroom. The bathroom itself has sliding doors between the full bath and the study bathroom. So it's really one and a half baths in one room. It's pretty silly if you ask me, but it's a perfect place to install a urinal.

Home urinals kick ass.

the idea of reading or wasting time in there bothers me. its very inconsiderate to anyone else who might be home, and dancing on one leg waiting for a piss. my older sister used to do her homework in there, and my bladder increased manyfold over those years.

Hmmm.

Maybe the British aren't obsessed with their bowels at all.

Americans on the other hand....(or is that cheek)...

I seem to remember a couple of episodes of The Young Ones that were...

That's true - most things about BBC1 management is anally fixated. "Little Britain" have a sequence on a man with factitious disorder (made-up illness) on a commode. It encapsulates the quintessence of 'British toilet humour'.

Other items are distractions. You should not think on the toilet. You should merge the mind with the body and focus completely on that bowel movement. I want to manifest my complete discipline over my wayward conscious mind by capturing it and making it submit and dwell on a singular thought if only for a few moments. A strong flick of the wrist to initiate a spinning toilet paper roll and then a firm rip that gives a crisp bursting of TP perforations should be the gong that brings you out of that zen like trance after a good colon spew.

That "Big Dig" special this summer was pretty anal, I thought.

You have satellite t.v. to reach the British shores? Or maybe summer holidays in England?

I missed it - I leave England (and t.v.) in summer so instead of watching toilet humour, I go to France to experience their latrines.

Most Americans probably don't know what a latrine is: these weren't designed for people of higher body mass indicies. Americans would freak at latrines; the hole is so far and oddly shaped. By squatting, the risk of losing balance and getting wedged into the latrine increases proportionally with a rise in BMI The ranch-style doors are even more peculiar - especially in pubs where latrines are just behind the counter where people can see the heads and feet of a bod, or everything except from the head below. No Frenchman ever wears flip-flops into a latrine either.

Apparently, having good bowel motions are important in the States as it is in Britain; scientists show that when a well-formed motion takes place, it stretches the sphincters which releases neuro-endorphins which give a happy feeling on going to the toilet.

Betcha didn't know that?

Yeah, I enjoy a massive, satisfying poop.

I try to get to London as often as I can. Was there for three weeks this summer (mid-June through mid-July), working in the British Library. You guys have all the books I need!


The Big Dig actually wasn't that bad (but then, for some reason, I find British television [both BBC and iTV] utterly fascinating), but it was more than a bit strange to have a three day special with "live archaeology" punctuated by debates over whether the Romans technically invaded or if the folks on the Isle were pretty well Romanized before the legion got there.

On latrines: when I was in college, I used to frequent a bar where there was a piss trough in the floor and that was it. No toilet seat/bowl apparatus. Just a trough with a hole in the end.

Ok ok. But talking about it is another matter (help! save me from those bowel-obsessed Americans! )



It's the best time to come to England. August is pretty awwful. The British library - it's an amazing building isn't it??! Houses the best collection of journals anywhere in England and has copious floods of room. Senate House Library is also superb. I like the Bibliotheque Nationale in France, but they don't major on slapstick English comics much either. Reading in England is a fringe activity nowadays - most people's response to going to a library runs along the lines of "why do you need more books? you've already got one". There are poetry seances and interesting literary events which can be fun, but even these have been taken over by popstars signing their autobiographies (which someone else wrote for them) at Waterstones....

When I was in the States, I quite missed British TV too. Didn't know which channel to watch ... just flicking and flicking for 20 minutes before the ADHD set in, gave up, dozed off.

http://travesti.geophys.mcgill.ca/~olivia/BOUDICA/

Boadicea, queen of the Iceni almost sent the Romans packing back to their mediterranean latrines - almost. Before the Romans massacred the British, Britain was still a popular holiday destination for invading marauders in the 1st century. Mediterranean men had a thing for British women and regularly came over to pillage and sack villages. British women having a thing for mediterranean men also assimilated Latin influences before mediterranean men even set foot on British soil

Latrines were also advantageous for hygiene lacking students - there are fewer bacteria on latrines than regular cisterns. Amazing how much research the British have done on toilet hygiene...

Man! That's livin'!
I salute you.