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Swedish girls vs British girls =) - Page 2

post #41 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guybrush Threepwood

Do what better? Drink their grog or Guinness Stout faster?

Everything! Period. ;p
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post #42 of 86
The Squirrel Story

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END



NOW FOR THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference
and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and
starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm
home with a table laden with food. The British press inform people that
they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of
GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a
cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts
a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the
squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases
the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retrospective to the
beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken
to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the
work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt, when he
told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish
it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially
mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy
members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retrospective taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building
a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as
a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get
to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.

On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent
love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of
hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the
police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial
moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it
was feared they would face death by the mice.

The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit
cards. A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of
the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council
house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain
the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding
is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'. The cats seek recompense
in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to
get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately
because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care
of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks
he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state
the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug
rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers
representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are
praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity
and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press
blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes
of despair arising from social inequality and his traumatic experience of
prison.They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were
infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the
United Kingdom.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the
burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their
credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and
order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 75 because of a
shortfall in government funds.

post #43 of 86


It's so true, blame the Labour party and the idiots that vote for them.
Abhor the Stereotype, respect the Individual.
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Abhor the Stereotype, respect the Individual.
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post #44 of 86
Funny isn't the word. Drivel is more apt.
Abhor stereotypes Matty?

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"Wankers talking about other wankers and wanking." XamaX

I'll never get back the time i just wasted reading that post." Miami Craig
" It's like you've achieved some kind of irrelevance zen, or...

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post #45 of 86
You don't have to go to the club

post #46 of 86
post #47 of 86

post #48 of 86
Sweet! 6 month old threads dug up for softcore porn!
post #49 of 86
I think this might be the only thread where there is an exception...
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"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #50 of 86
Pictures of fully clothed women in public places is hardly softcore porn.
post #51 of 86
post #52 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Konsten View Post

You don't have to go to the club


Are those stretch marks?
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #53 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guybrush Threepwood View Post

Are those stretch marks?

Looks like someone forgot to Vitamin E before puberty hit...
post #54 of 86
do i care?
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"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
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post #55 of 86
International football is a great thing.
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post #56 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by hardeeharhar View Post

do i care?


Seconded!
.
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post #57 of 86
I think the British have always been among the world's ugliest. Their women are perhaps matched by those of Sicily, Latvia and Moldova (where the ladies tend to have as much facial hair as the men). But damn, comparing England to Sweden is like comparing poo to poontang!
post #58 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superbass View Post

But damn, comparing England to Sweden is like comparing poo to poontang!

Greg would disagree.

(Hope he doesn't hurt me for that comment.)
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #59 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guybrush Threepwood View Post

For some people, poo is better than poontang.

sorry, i forgot some guys like to go in through the out door!
post #60 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guybrush Threepwood View Post

Greg would disagree.

(Hope he doesn't hurt me for that comment.)

Gross. I date Moldovians only.
post #61 of 86
Moldovians with an excess of Vitamin E I'm guessing?
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post #62 of 86
I could go out in Sweden right now, find the equivalent bar to an under-class Newcastle pub in a poverty stricken neighbourhood and take unflattering pictures of the ugliest people I can find and then compare them to the hottest girls I can find at a West End London nightclub. But that would be childish and it would reveal some kind of insecurity on my part when it comes to Swedish women - which is clearly the motivation for this kind of exercise. Rejected by an English girl were we?
post #63 of 86
You're right.

Registering on here solely to defend your English womenfolk in 7 month old thread reveals maturity and sophistication.
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"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #64 of 86
The birds in West London aren't English!

Article: Brazil vs. Turkey
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post #65 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Splinemodel View Post

The birds in West London aren't English!

Article: Brazil vs. Turkey

The women at that pub in Newcastle aren't English either, and neither are the girls shown in that nightclub in Sweden of Swedish origin. Immigration doesn't just effect West London.
post #66 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guybrush Threepwood View Post

You're right.

Registering on here solely to defend your English womenfolk in 7 month old thread reveals maturity and sophistication.

The irony of attacking someone for checking a "7 month old thread" apparently soared way above your head. It wasn't 7 months old for me of course - it was the first time I viewed it. I didn't actually post to defend English "womenfolk" at any rate, although that's kind of a cute turn of phrase (were you an extra in the movie "Deliverance"?).

I was merely pointing out the absurdity of comparing those who frequent an underclass establishment in a poverty stricken neighbourhood with those who frequent one of the hippest clubs in Sweden of course. If you have a problem with that then it simply reveals your own issues regarding women - which would also explain why your social life appears to be based on this forum. I know, I know - "outsiders" scare you. But don't worry too much about me spoiling your life though, I'm just passing through.
post #67 of 86
Women in poverty stricken neighborhoods thank you. They were having such a horrible reputation before you pointed out the absurdity.

But you are right. My issues with women go far beyond the comparison of those who frequent underclass establishments in poverty stricken neighborhoods and those who frequent the hippest clubs in Sweden.

Welcome to AI, though.
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #68 of 86
I'm for chilling out and taking this all for what it is: a thread full of scantily clad world cup fans and pub-goers. Of course groverat PM'ed me a "warning" about embedding that photo of the brazil supporter. I guess whatever does it for ya, grove...
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post #69 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Splinemodel View Post

In London, there are enough foreigners to boost the average. I can only assume that mattyj lives in London, since as far as I know the North hasn't been a trendy spot since the Beatles.

Yeah, all we've had since then is The Cure, New Order/Joy Division, The Stone Roses, The Smiths, Oasis, and The Arctic Monkeys (ahem)... yeah, the north just blows.

Manchester's second to London in terms of gigs, especially in terms of lesser known US bands. The Shins aren't that big over here, hence they do like one night in London as part of their 'european' tour. In that sense, I envy Londoners. But I've always reckoned the music scene's just about as good, in terms of home-grown talent. Add to that more fresh air, everything being cheaper, and less overcrowding, I know where I'd rather be.
post #70 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by IJaK View Post

Yeah, all we've had since then is The Cure, New Order/Joy Division, The Stone Roses, The Smiths, Oasis, and The Arctic Monkeys (ahem)... yeah, the north just blows.

This thread has nothing to do with the actual merits of any given place: just the density of pretty girls.
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post #71 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by hardeeharhar View Post

do i care?

I do. That's false advertising.
post #72 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by mattyj View Post

Very, actually. I haven't seen girls as ugly as that link ever, quite shocked.

In the 1970s, some of their cousins were in the state of Maine on the US east coast.

(shudder)

Wasted teenage years.....

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post #73 of 86
Can anyone say "inbreeding"?
post #74 of 86
Forget Swedish girls (the world forgot Brits back in the pre-Cambrian) where it's at is"

Middle Eastern Babes!

And just to prove the point here's a pic of what Michael J Totten in his excellent Middle Eastern Journal calls two "Hizbollah Groupies"

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What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
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post #75 of 86
It's nice to see some middle eastern birds not in birkas. I've met a few American girls of middle eastern extraction, and most of them have been at least reasonably good looking. They have one thing going for them, especially: they are all very thin. Some of those Swedes are tanks.
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post #76 of 86
I dated a girl from Pakistan that was gorgeous. A little chunky but I don't mined. Too bad we both transfered to different schools\
post #77 of 86
I a like some of you played rugby, but i was a forward D: haha, so i was in the scrum ( strongest and best in the scrum) and in the rucks. I never looked like those mo fo's though haha, i broke my nose once but it wasn't that bad. But yeah, sweeds are probably hotter than UK chicks, but it really depends on where you go in the UK, but sweeds are probably hotter no matter where you compare them to!

p.s. who the fuck brought the ugly gene into the UK hahahaaha.
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post #78 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich-Myster View Post

p.s. who the fuck brought the ugly gene into the UK hahahaaha.

It's a Saxon/German thing and not of any great age....7th century on perhaps.

Luckily it only applies to the English genepool - the original indigenous Celts are still objects of stunning beauty so it's not really fair to mix the aesthetic wonders of the Welsh, Scots and Irish in with the more chavish English elements....

What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
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What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
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post #79 of 86
Ah, the famed male ability to talk out of his arse while his tongue is firmly in his cheek. No woman from the isles off the mainland of Europe can withstand it.

"Wankers talking about other wankers and wanking." XamaX

I'll never get back the time i just wasted reading that post." Miami Craig
" It's like you've achieved some kind of irrelevance zen, or...

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"Wankers talking about other wankers and wanking." XamaX

I'll never get back the time i just wasted reading that post." Miami Craig
" It's like you've achieved some kind of irrelevance zen, or...

Reply
post #80 of 86
touche, enjoy your moral victory. whilst we enjoy our politically incorrect banter.

I must add that I doubt that any politicians grace this forum and as i cannot vouch for the other members of this forum i sill simply state that it is not a high priority to wish to be considered correct in some/most/all/any matters/topics/discussions by you, whoever you are. now back to the thread.


I propose a theory on this observation. as far as i am aware Sweden,Finland and Norway are the modern names for where the vikings of old once roamed from. this point leads to their well earned reputation for pillaging plundering and stealing beautiful women. add to that tid-bit the improbable chance that any army from asia reached this geographical area thus altering the genetic pool that was created by the raiding and the burning and the stealing of pretty women. This already happened once when Russia was invaded by the Tartars in the 16th? century and ruined russias reputation for blonde beauties, i am partial to darker hair anyway.

So in conclusion i will say the only single word that was really necesarry to post in the first place.

SWEDISH

If, there is a motivation to wield the gauntlet from your own conscience and brandish it in opposition to my personal opinion. I am sure you will find solace in the fact that i do not care about yours. enjoy.
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