How to End World Hunger

When humans die, some of our bodies are destroyed by the same horrific event which causes our death. Fire, water, falling bricks, or whatever the case may be. Our bodies are mutilated beyond recognition. Some of us die of disease, leaving our bodies writhing in germs. But many of us die with our bodies perfectly intact. Approximately 56,597,034 people die each year. Of these, Id say it is safe to assume that at least half of them leave behind bodies in pristine shape. So what do we do with these bodies? Bury them. Or burn them.

What a waste of resources.

About 6 million people die of hunger each year. We try to give them food, but the government has a hard time justifying spending so much money on feeding the hungry. After all, buying so much food does get to be rather expensive. Food costs money to grow.

But what about the 4244777550 pounds of meat that is produced each year in the form of dead human bodies? It would cost very little to take dead human carcasses and clean them up a little so they could be eaten. Doesnt it make sense to use old humans to help grow the new? Its kind of the same principle as recycling.

It would cost a little bit of money to prepare the bodies for consumption, as certain bits of the human body should not be eaten, and it might be a good idea to clean the corpses before eating them. But you would get much more bang for your buck with this method than buying any other type of food for starving people, as the actual food itself can be obtained free of charge, the dead having no real say in the matter.

This may seem morally repulsive to some people. But look at it this way: isnt it better to eat someone who is already dead than die yourself? Someone dies of hunger every 3.6 seconds. That is a LOT of deaths. Are we willing to let people go on dying when we have a perfectly reasonable way to feed them simply because it breaches etiquette? I certainly hope that we can straighten out our priorities...

Many citizens already agree to be organ donors; is it really that much more of a stretch to donate your entire body?

Think about the children who are starving to death even now as you are reading this. They, too, might shrink away at first from the idea of eating someones grandparents. But eventually they will choose this option over dying themselves. All we do with the bodies is bury them anyway. Why not use them to help those in need?

No new market for human meat would develop. Who would it be sold to? The meat is being distributed free of charge to starving people, so no one would buy it from anyone. Why would you kill people to sell it when there is no market?

Obviously hunger is not due to a lack of food, it is due to a lack of funding to raise and buy the food. Humans pay for their own raising. Then they can die, and be eaten by other humans. It is a cycle that would be really efficient, and solve much of the world hunger problem.

True, many African countries with high starvation rates are a bit unstable, but it wouldn't have to be the country doing the handing out of the meat. Why not our government, or some helpful organization like the Red Cross?

Really what it amounts to is this: if you're not willing to be eaten, then you're being selfish.

"The problem with world starvation has never been lack of food but lack of distribution. Either because of money or governments or war. Obviously this thread is a joke why bother commenting more?"

Exactly. I am proposing a way to help starving people without spending near as much money as it would take to do it using current strategies. Food costs much more than carcasses, and is in much shorter supply. We have an abundance of meat that we are literally throwing away. I propose feeding it to people. This would solve the "lack of distribution" problem you are referring to, since we can affoord it easier. It is not because of "government," because the government has always been willing to help feed the hungry. It has just never had the funds to do it on a wide enough scale, which is why the problem persists. Once the hungry are fed for a while, and can feed their children, they will develop into strong, healthy people, who will become contributing members of society. There will be no more homeless or starving, because everyone will now be able to get a job. Once they get fed, they get strong, so they can get a career too make money. It may just take a few generations to kick start, so hence my idea for feeding them without expending too much of a budget.

Now do you have anything intelligent to contribute, or would you rather shut down these ideas without really understanding them?

Wowa. Those pyrons sound pretty serious. I don't want a SpongeBrain...

Although of course, if you prepare it right, then nothing bad will happen to yoou. Here is an excerpt from an article which goes into detail on how to "Butcher the Human Carcass for Human Consumption."

"Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For best results and health, freshness is imperative. A living human in captivity is optimal, but not always available. When possible make sure the animal has no food for 48 hours, but plenty of water. This fasting helps flush the system, purging stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making bleeding and cleaning easier. Under ideal conditions, the specimen will then be stunned into insensitivity. Sharp unexpected blows to the head are best, tranquilizers not being recommended as they may taint the flavor of the meat. If this is not possible without exciting the animal and causing a struggle (which will pump a greater volume of blood and secretions such as adrenaline throughout the body), a single bullet through the middle of the forehead or back of the skull will suffice.

Hanging: Once the animal is unconscious or dead, it is ready to be hoisted. Get the feet up first, then the hands, with the head down. This is called the "Gein configuration". Simple loops of rope may be tied around the hands and feet and then attached to a crossbar or overhead beam. Or, by making a cut behind the Achilles tendon, a meathook may be inserted into each ankle for hanging support. The legs should be spread so that the feet are outside the shoulders, with the arms roughly parallel to the legs. This provides access to the pelvis, and keeps the arms out of the way in a ready position for removal. It's easiest to work if the feet are slightly above the level of the butcher's head.

Bleeding: Place a large open vessel beneath the animal's head. With a long-bladed knife, start at one corner of the jaw and make a deep "ear-to-ear" cut through the neck and larynx to the opposite side. This will sever the internal and external carotid arteries, the major blood vessels carrying blood from the heart to the head, face, and brain. If the animal is not yet dead, this will kill it quickly, and allow for the blood to drain in any case. After the initial rush of blood, the stream should be controllable and can be directed into a receptacle. Drainage can be assisted by massaging the extremities down in the direction of the trunk, and by compressing and releasing, "pumping", the stomach. A mature specimen will contain almost six liters of blood. There is no use for this fluid, unless some source is waiting to use it immediately for ritual purposes. It acts as an emetic in most people if drunk, and it must be mentioned here that because of the eternal possibility of AIDS it is recommended that for safety's sake all blood should be considered to be contaminated and disposed of in some fashion. It is not known whether an HlV-infected human's flesh is dangerous even if cooked, but this is another item to consider when choosing a specimen, someone in the low-risk strata."

And it goes on and on for quite a while. Someone has given this thought...

For the full text of the article, here ya go: http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-...s/butcher.html


Yeah, that sentence gave me the lolies to write too..

Here I found it on Wikipedia:

In December 2002, a highly unusual case was uncovered in the town of Rotenburg in Hesse, Germany. In 2001 Armin Meiwes, a 41-year-old computer administrator, had posted messages like his more recent ones (see messages) in Internet newsgroups on the subject of cannibalism, repeatedly looking for "a young Boy, between 18 and 25 y/o" to butcher. At least one of his requests was successful: Jürgen Brandes, another computer administrator, offered himself to be slaughtered. The two men agreed on a meeting. Jürgen Brandes was, with his consent, killed and partially eaten by Meiwes, who, as a result, was sentenced to eight-and-a-half years in jail for manslaughter (Totschlag, second-degree murder). In April 2005, the German Federal Court of Justice ordered a retrial upon appeal of the prosecution, and in May 2006 Meiwes was convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment. The band Rammstein took up this case in the song Mein Teil.

I guess they did punish him after all. Not so socially advanced as we thought.... Methink the song is the best part though. Here is an excerpt from an imperfect translation of the lyrics:

Search well built eighteen to dreissigjährigen ones for slaughtering.
The butcher master.

.....

The blunt blade - good and quite
I bleed strongly and to me am bad
I must fight also with the faint
I continue to eat under cramps

Is nevertheless so well peppered and so beautifully flambiert
And in such a way affectionate on porcelain serves
In addition a good wine and a tender candle light
Yes, there leave yourself I time
Something culture must be

Because you are, which you eats
And you know, what it is

It is my part - no
My part - no
Because that is mine part! - no
Yes, it's my part - no

And so on. Why anyone would write a song about this is beyond me. I guess songs about normal love and unrequited love got old, so they had to settle for cannibalistic necrophiliac love. Oh well. Can't win em all....

Yeah I am gonna have freaky dreams too. Try watching a bunch of cheap anime in the original Japanese with the volume turned up way too high while drinking Bawls. Then your dreams will be even better. (Gives me migraines just THINKING about doing this....)

No kidding, thuh Freak... I tried to preach this new philosophy to my friends at school today and was shouted down by conservative Christians. Oh well. The world has a lot of maturing to do.

And we can import the meat from healthier countries, so they wouldn't have to eat just bones.

AsLan^, good job, I never thought of this... It would still be cheaper just to eat the humans though, so that gets my vote. Efficiency is everything.

Yeah maimezvous, you must have higher class friends than me. But the really sad part is that I am actually a vegetarian. I think it is wrong to eat animals, yet I think this whole eating humans business is a great idea. Figure that one out..

And has anyone seen the movie Soylent Green? They sort of did this theme in that movie; it's a sci-fi classic so if you haven't seen it you should.

Mandatory euthanasia...... That would be SCARY......

But shetline, how to catch insects in large quantities? That would be difficult...

Actually no, I didn't discover "A Modest Proposal" until after I posted this.