or Connect
AppleInsider › Forums › Other Discussion › AppleOutsider › Why I miss California
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Why I miss California

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Don't know what paper this was in (I got it off a private email list), but it's pretty funny. Maybe from "The Onion"? (I can't beleive it's real!)

FROM LOS ANGELES CITY BEAT

Germ Busted for Soap

Drummer Don Bolles is jailed after police say soap bottle in his car
contains illegal drug, GHB



~ By DEAN KUIPERS ~



It was just another average day in the flamboyantly messy life of Don Bolles, once the drummer for the legendarily messy, flamboyant Los Angeles punk band, the Germs. On April 4, Bolles had picked up his girlfriend, the 21-year-old drummer for a band called Civet who goes by the name Cat Scandal, from a Newport Beach rehab, where she had, as he put it, a day off. They had just had coffee and were on their way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Cat Scandal was riding in the passenger seat of Bolless 1968 Dodge Van and they had just crossed out of Newport Beach into Costa Mesa when they were pulled over by police, who told Bolles that he allegedly had a broken brake light.

But what he really had was a crazy old van, a wild Russian fur cap, long hair, and a gorgeous young girlfriend. Bolles called it a classic case of profiling: driving while weird. And then they found the soap.

Its hilarious. A Germ arrested for soap, says Bolles, 50, talking Monday via cell phone as he ran errands for a Friday court appearance. Its just ridiculous. Ive already been in jail almost four days over this, and its completely wrong. Its soap. Its peppermint Dr. Bronners soap.

As Bolles fished his ID out of what he calls his man-purse, policemen allegedly asked him why he was being so protective of his bag. Bolles explained there was nothing illegal in the bag. In it, police allegedly found a small amount of weed, but a legal amount for a medical marijuana user under state law. Bolles has a medical marijuana card, but did not have it on him.

And then they found the fuckin thing full of orange liquid that smelled like peppermint. And so they asked me what it was, and I said, Soap. It says so on the label; its in a Dr. Bronners bottle.

In an e-mail to supporters sent last week, Bolless friend Nora Keyes wrote that he only uses Dr. Bronners soaps. Which would hardly be unusual, since theyre a popular brand available in stores across America. But police allegedly whipped out their drug-testing gear, a ODV 905 reagents test, and dropped some powder into the soap, and it turned color. Then they told Bolles he was under arrest for possessing a controlled substance: GHB.

He was arrested for violating 11377(a) of the Health and Safety Code, and that was for the GHB, says Sgt. Evan Sailor of the Newport Beach Police Department.

Bolles claims hed heard of the drug but thought it was some kind of steroid, having never tried it. In actuality, gamma-hydroxybutyric acid is an anesthetic once popular with the rave culture for its mellow, friendly vibe as an intoxicant and also called a date-rape drug because, like Rohypnol, it can be undetectable when mixed with water. In any case, Bolles insists that the only thing in that bottle was soap.

Asked whether the police field test had any history of false positives, Sailor says, Not that Im aware of. We do our preliminary testing of the substance, and then its sent up to the county crime lab for more testing.

The Orange County Sheriffs office, which administers county Forensic Science Services, was not able to verify that the case had come to their lab by press time.

Bolles was arrested and eventually ended up in Orange County Mens Central Jail in Santa Ana on $25,000 bail, charged with felony Possession of a Controlled Substance, misdemeanor Contempt of Court for disobeying a court order, and misdemeanor Violation of a Protective/Stay Away Order. The felony drug possession charge carries a sentence of up to 20 years in prison. The latter two charges were brought by the Orange County D.A. and relate to an incident a year earlier when, after an altercation between Bolles and Cat Scandal, Bolles voluntarily signed a restraining order under which the two can see each other only under restricted conditions.

It was an amicable restraining order after I got a Disturbing the Peace charge, he explains. The only thing that brings this into play is the felony drug charge theyre bringing now.

Cat Scandal, who also plays drums in the Don Bolles Disaster, was not charged in the latest incident.

When I first got the call, I couldnt tell if it was a joke, laughs Michael Bronner, vice-president for international sales for Dr. Bronners Magic Soaps and grandson of soap creator Dr. E.H. Bronner, who died in 1997. I wish it would have been clearer, because we would have jumped into action sooner.

Listening to the message on his machine, Michael Bronner thought the person was saying THC, the active ingredient in marijuana. It is a common misconception that the hemp oil used in the soap is psychoactive, but in fact the drug is present in such a minute amount it is undetectable and hemp products have been declared legal to sell in the U.S. under a ruling by the Ninth Circuit Court. That case was also brought by Dr. Bronners Magic Soaps.

When Bronner figured out what was happening, he called Keyes and offered to pay the bail. By Saturday, however, enough small donations had poured into an online account that Bolles had already paid it. So Bronner has offered to pay the legal bills.

First and foremost, we feel that were socially progressive activists, and we want to help this guy out. We want to send a message to the system that you cant just make up reasons to incarcerate people, says Bronner. Then he adds that theres also the products reputation to consider, saying, As a business, we want to make sure that nobody can possibly think again that our soap contains GHB. I think its a little bit of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth; these ridiculous charges that everybody just laughs about, like, Yeah, whatever, and all of a sudden people started believing them. We dont want that.

Bronner said he had never heard of any of his companys soaps or other products testing positive for GHB or any other drug.

In a statement released Wednesday, David Bronner, Michaels brother and president of Dr. Bronners Magic Soaps, said: We cannot imagine anyone putting GHB, or any other drug for that matter, into a rinse-off soap product that is lathered and rinsed off the body immediately. The Newport Beach police should see how much of a buzz putting beer in their shampoo gives them, and get a grip and apologize on their hands and knees to Mr. Bolles.

Bolles, whose real name is Jimmy Michael Giorsetti, is due at a pre-trial hearing on Friday, April 13. He took his stage name from an investigative reporter at the Arizona Republic who was famously car-bombed in 1976 and died, but first blamed his death on the Mafia.

Im not angry at the cops. Im angry about a system that would do this to an innocent person, says Bolles. If I had been the real Don Bolles, who was a journalist, all Id have to do is tell exactly what happened. In this case, the truth is so outrageously on my side that I dont even need to be sensationalistic about it. Its just a case people need to know about.







04-12-07
post #2 of 21
Typical.

When cops want to pull someone over who looks "suspicious" to them, they often pull them over for minor traffic violations, broken taillights, etc. that they would normally ignore. Then they ask if they can search bags, or the car itself, threatening to bring in drug-sniffing dogs if the car occupants don't consent.

At least it wasn't Isotope Soap...

/old school punk
post #3 of 21
Thread Starter 
That's pretty weird that of all the people in the world to sing that song it'd be Geza X. Back then I lived with the other Geza in the CA punk scene, in SF. (I never saw Geza X play before.)

Paul

PS Do you know who makes that soap? I'd like to buy some to use when I sing along to the video in the shower...
post #4 of 21
Huh, that's odd. I have a friend who's friends with Don Bolles and he was telling me all about this a few weeks ago. My friends take is that Bolles is pretty much a maniac and if the cops busted him it was likely because he was giving them shit and he just pissed them off. Not that that makes it any less funny, or the cops any less assholes.

My friend didn't mention the pot part, he said that the Dr. Bronners also tested positive for hemp, which makes sense as it is made with hemp. He also said that Dr. Bronner hisself was getting involved. I would dearly love to see Dr. Bronner (if he is in fact still alive and it's not just the company) on the witness stand testifying for the defense of Don Bolles. It would be a quintessential California moment.

Dr. Bronners is made by, uh, Dr. Bronner. Known for its labels featuring a great deal of extremely small text describing some kind of quasi-religous motivation for soap, or something. Dilute! Dilute! Dilute! All-in-one-Godhead!

Available at your health oriented stores. I favor the Eucalyptus version.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #5 of 21
Just checked, Emanuel Bronner passed away in 1997. Hopefully, his family carries forward his highly eccentric notions about the uses of soap and product labeling.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #6 of 21
I miss California because of Del Taco.
post #7 of 21
There aren't Del Taco's outside of California?

Nick

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." -George Orwell

Reply

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." -George Orwell

Reply
post #8 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by trumptman View Post

There aren't Del Taco's outside of California?

Nick

Certainly not where I am.

As far as the States go, I suppose there might be some in Arizona or Nevada, but I think the rest of the country is Taco Bell territory...
post #9 of 21
Man, I miss Del Taco too... I also miss In-N-Out Burgers.
post #10 of 21
Del Taco is great, but Taco John's beats it, easily.
My brain is hung like a HORSE!
Reply
My brain is hung like a HORSE!
Reply
post #11 of 21
When In-N-Out moved into the Bay Area, it was like crack hit town. Ditto when Krispy Kreme opened up an outlet. Lines 100 deep. Just not enough grease in our diets, apparently.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #12 of 21
LOL we've got Krispy Kreme in Hong Kong now!!! I kid you not. Not that I'm a big donut fan, mind you, though I do miss the Farmer Bros. coffee they used to have at Winchell's.

Big news here is that after a 10-year hiatus, we finally got a Burger King back.

When I first arrived in HK in 1995, BK had just left the market. We had Wendys (left in about '97), Jack in the Box ('98 or so) and Hardy's (left this year).

And BK is only available in the most remote place - on the Peak. There's also one in the airport, but it's for outgoing passengers only, so it doesn't count. I guess they think only tourists would buy a Whopper. Kinda true, because the local taste is that McDonald's is yummy, and a juicy burger with lettuce and tomato is gross... hence the death of so many fast food places.

Best burger place in HK now is White Spot, which is supposed to be Canadian. But a burger, fries and a coke costs about US$7.50.

Whenever I go back to visit my parents in Cali, I overdose on BK, Carl's Jr. and Del Taco. But I'll always have a special place for Del Taco, sustaining me through college with those wonderful 49 cent green burritos. Mmm...

We've got ONE good Mexican place in Hong Kong (Taco Loco) but the prices keep going up. They make traditional Baja type tacos and decent burritos, in addition to the fajitas and nachos most places sell in lieu of the cheap stuff.
post #13 of 21
Thread Starter 
I saw the movie Chungking Express recently and was stupefied that China had pizza and hamburgers back in 1993 (when the movie was made). It was only after I saw Quentin Tarantino's introduction that I realized the film was shot in Hong Kong!

It's not that I couldn't imagine these foods in China but rather that in the movie they seemed part of the a local subculture (fringy types like expats, artists, cops) that I didn't think could've existed fourteen years ago in the PRC. Also, they were eaten at local snack bars, rather than the big chains.

BTW, is there a Chinese equiavalent of a donut? (In NYC's Chinatown street vendors sell something similar to beignets--fried dough sprinkled with powder sugar)

LOL we've got Krispy Kreme in Hong Kong now
post #14 of 21
You guys miss the fast food?

When I'm away from home, I miss the beauty:
post #15 of 21
I spent the past two weeks in SF, and managed to eat no fast food. Actually, I don't even recall seeing any fast food places aside from when I was down the peninsula. There are a lot of good eats in San Francisco, and in the east bay too, that are cheap without being fast food.

I start the new job tomorrow, in Mountain View. I am living temporarily in Santa Clara for the next month, although I'm going to try to find an apartment somewhere that's a little more lively. SF to Mountain View is too long of a commute.
Cat: the other white meat
Reply
Cat: the other white meat
Reply
post #16 of 21
Seriously, if I wanted natural beauty, I'd go back to Switzerland or to the remote beaches of Palawan. Most of California's just far too dry (it's mostly desert, after all), developed and polluted.
post #17 of 21
Thread Starter 
When I lived in SF just walking out of the house gave me a high. True, it wasn't as spetacular as Switzerland, or even Seattle in the winter, but it was damned nice. Not just the hills, but the way the city has developed around the landscape. Ok, you did say natural beauty, but then I've never appreciated mountains and beaches without human stuff to give them scale and contrast.

What I really miss about California is the way it feels. Then again, I lived there in the late 70s and 80s, and it's a different place now. Here's how NYC feels today: http://www.urban75.org/photos/newyork/new-york-001.html (like a concrete tumor on the planet, and this is a nice scene, for NY). Of course we do have some natural beauty: http://pic1.funtigo.com/urbanphotos/?g=17680025.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tonton View Post

Seriously, if I wanted natural beauty, I'd go back to Switzerland or to the remote beaches of Palawan. Most of California's just far too dry (it's mostly desert, after all), developed and polluted.
post #18 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ptrash View Post

When I lived in SF just walking out of the house gave me a high. True, it wasn't as spetacular as Switzerland, or even Seattle in the winter, but it was damned nice. Not just the hills, but the way the city has developed around the landscape. Ok, you did say natural beauty, but then I've never appreciated mountains and beaches without human stuff to give them scale and contrast.

What I really miss about California is the way it feels. Then again, I lived there in the late 70s and 80s, and it's a different place now. Here's how NYC feels today: http://www.urban75.org/photos/newyork/new-york-001.html (like a concrete tumor on the planet, and this is a nice scene, for NY). Of course we do have some natural beauty: http://pic1.funtigo.com/urbanphotos/?g=17680025.

It's true, crowding and development have taken a toll. But there are still certain times and places here-- dusk in the Marin headlands, the way the western light comes in under the fog canopy and lights everything up with a pearly incandescence, the view from Russian Hill out over the Bay when the air smells like a thousand miles of Pacific, a still evening under the southern anchorage of the Golden Gate, Sonoma in the spring when the mustard is in bloom, the rare hot night when the whole city comes out on the street to mark the occasion, riding the ferry through the fog, hiking the long band of East Bay park ridge-- when I remember that this is like no other place on earth and that people pay money to come do some of what I do every day just to get around.

And through it all awful socialist California has actually protected the better part of its coast (above LA, anyway) so these magnificent vistas remain, un-walled by condos and luxury homes.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
Reply
post #19 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by addabox View Post

When In-N-Out moved into the Bay Area, it was like crack hit town. Ditto when Krispy Kreme opened up an outlet. Lines 100 deep. Just not enough grease in our diets, apparently.

Anyone ever eat at the Maid-Right? Mmm... them's some tasty... sandwichy things. Oh, and they're in the mid-west (mostly)...

Proud AAPL stock owner.

 

GOA

Reply

Proud AAPL stock owner.

 

GOA

Reply
post #20 of 21
I had severe wheat and dairy allergies and irritable bowel syndrome when I first moved to San Fran in 2000. This was mind you, after several years in Brisbane (Australia) and Melbourne in Australia, where I would regularly scoff down cereals and breads and buns and at least a litre (2 pints) of freshhh aussie milk.

If not for Whole Foods (California and VanNess) I would have left after 6 months. I managed to stay from June 2000 through to Jan 2003.
post #21 of 21
Orange County. That explains everything.
"We've never made the case, or argued the case that somehow Osama bin Laden was directly involved in 9/11. That evidence has never been forthcoming". VP Cheney, 3/29/2006. Interview by Tony Snow
Reply
"We've never made the case, or argued the case that somehow Osama bin Laden was directly involved in 9/11. That evidence has never been forthcoming". VP Cheney, 3/29/2006. Interview by Tony Snow
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: AppleOutsider
AppleInsider › Forums › Other Discussion › AppleOutsider › Why I miss California