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God said it, I believe it, that settles it!

post #1 of 127
Thread Starter 
Friends of God -- Evolution

Er, words escape me.



But I did need to actually verify one thing that a this young guy mentioned. He wanted to grow up and "become a biochemist at the Institute for Creation Science in Arizona".

My fears were real. There is an Institute for Creation Research.

People. Do some research on your own with the present facts and reach the logical solution. Don't expect a cobbled-together two thousand year old book to give you the truth.

"Approximately 54 million Americans over the age of 18 do not believe in evolution."

post #2 of 127
Jesus walked up to a porn star and said - "I hear you're into well hung guys"

Jesus to a budding porn star "It feels really great to be nailed in three holes at the same time"
post #3 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcUK View Post

Jesus walked up to a porn star and said - "I hear you're into well hung guys"

Jesus to a budding porn star "It feels really great to be nailed in three holes at the same time"

You're going to hell.
I can only please one person per day.  Today is not your day.  Tomorrow doesn't look good either.  
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I can only please one person per day.  Today is not your day.  Tomorrow doesn't look good either.  
Reply
post #4 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by SDW2001 View Post

You're going to hell.

whats the difference between a 'creationist' and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face
post #5 of 127
.....
post #6 of 127
Wow. Religious jokes are so... uh... "tolerant."
And Christians get called hypocrites.
"Stand Up for Chuck"
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"Stand Up for Chuck"
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post #7 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jubelum View Post

Wow. Religious jokes are so... uh... "tolerant."
And Christians get called hypocrites.

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jews found the same penny.
post #8 of 127
What do you do if you see a christian running around in a circle screaming?

Stop laughing and nail his other foot to the floor.
post #9 of 127
But on a more serious note;



From Public Acceptance of Evolution from Science 11 August 2006, Vol 313.

Quote:
The politicization of science in the name of religion and political partisanship is not new to the United States, but transformation of traditional geographically and economically based political parties into religiously oriented ideological coalitions marks the beginning of a new era for science policy. The broad public acceptance of the benefits of science and technology in the second half of the 20th century allowed science to develop a nonpartisan identification that largely protected it from overt partisanship. That era appears to have closed.

Also a good read is Childhood Origins of Adult Resistance to Science from Science 18 May 2007, Vol. 316. (sorry no free link to that one (that I can find anyway))

Quote:
These developmental data suggest that resistance to science will arise in children when scientific claims clash with early emerging, intuitive expectations. This resistance will persist through adulthood if the scientific claims are contested within a society, and it will be especially strong if there is a nonscientific alternative that is rooted in common sense and championed by people who are thought of as reliable and trustworthy. This is the current situation in the United States, with regard to the central tenets of neuroscience and evolutionary biology. These concepts clash with intuitive beliefs about the immaterial nature of the soul and the purposeful design of humans and other animals, and (in the United States) these beliefs are particularly likely to be endorsed and transmitted by trusted religious and political authorities. Hence, these fields are among the domains where Americans’ resistance to science is the strongest.

\
Every eye fixed itself upon him; with parted lips and bated breath the audience hung upon his words, taking no note of time, rapt in the ghastly fascinations of the tale. NOT!
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Every eye fixed itself upon him; with parted lips and bated breath the audience hung upon his words, taking no note of time, rapt in the ghastly fascinations of the tale. NOT!
Reply
post #10 of 127
If a Christian couple from Kansas get a divorce in California, are they still brother and sister?

This is the Christian Jokes thread right???
post #11 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcUK View Post

This is the Christian Jokes thread right???

Yep, keep 'em coming.
post #12 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcUK View Post

If a Christian couple from Kansas get a divorce in California, are they still brother and sister?

This is the Christian Jokes thread right???

So Marc... are there any sacred cows you're keeping on your farm that we all might share in?
"Stand Up for Chuck"
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"Stand Up for Chuck"
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post #13 of 127
Don't let marc fool you. He is a devout messianic monotheistic barbarian of the first order.
"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
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"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
Reply
post #14 of 127

Proud AAPL stock owner.

 

GOA

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Proud AAPL stock owner.

 

GOA

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post #15 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpamSandwich View Post

A little something to gnaw on...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...030102073.html

"More than 10 percent think that Noah's wife was Joan of Arc"

What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
post #16 of 127
^

why wasn't Jesus born in caerphilly?

God couldn't find three wise men, or a virgin there!
post #17 of 127
A little boy was sitting on the steps of a Catholic church. Killing ants.
Every time he would kill an ant he would say, "Goddamn useless ants."
A priest heard this and says to the little boy, "God did not mke anything useless. If you can name three things that god made that is useless, you can sit here all day killing ants.
The boy thinks about it and says,
"Tits on a Nun."
"Balls on a priest".
"And these Goddamn useless ants.
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive. Thomas Jefferson
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The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive. Thomas Jefferson
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post #18 of 127
An atheist had heard that the local Mulla was very wise and this started to gnaw away at him. He felt that the local populace should recognize that it was he and not the Mulla who was full of wisdom.

Accordingly he challenged the Mulla to a debate on all matters theological, scientific and God knows what else; winner takes all, the next day at the Mulla's house at noon.

When the appointed hour came, the atheist proceeded all a-tremble to the Mulla's home. Knocking on the door he puffed himself up for the coming debate but there was no answer.....the Mulla had quite forgotten the 'great debate' and instead gone out to the local cafe to smoke the hubble-bubble.

Incensed, the atheist scribbled 'Stupid Oaf' on the Mulla's door and went home in a huff.

About an hour later, the Mulla was frantically knocking on the atheist's door...."I'm so sorry" he panted, "I had completely forgotten and it wasn't till I saw that you had written your name on my door that I remembered and hurried here quick as I could....."
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
post #19 of 127
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."

Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.

A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."

And Adam said, " 'What is a 'caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "'Lord, that was even better than the kiss."

And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."

And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.

And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?"

This is pure GOLD! (NSFW language)

Stupid Oafs?
You need skeptics, especially when the science gets very big and monolithic. -James Lovelock
The Story of Stuff
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You need skeptics, especially when the science gets very big and monolithic. -James Lovelock
The Story of Stuff
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post #20 of 127
Back on the evolution thing, from a scientific perspective, evolution sans any sort of intelligent agents, is an idiotic proposition, and is believed for purely dogmatic reasons. The entire edifice of Darwinism is collapsing with each passing discovery. More complexity, jess junk DNA, homologies that don't fit 'the plan,' the tree of life that is now actually the Bush of life...

...that one was for MarcUK....

...irreducibly complex systems, etc. The Darwinist party is over: "Oh look, that irreducibly complex system is similar to this irreducibly complex system, so they must have evolved, just don't ask questions, and believe!" 'But wait, they're irreducibly complex, how could you actually build that, and do it by chance?' Oh, shut up you filthy stupidhead Christian, you want to kill the gays! End of 'dicussion.'

Guillermo Gonzalez, just a little more than a week ago, was denied tenure purely for his ID stance -- not his science -- not his somewhat prestigious career. He has been blacklisted. You have to realize that Darwinists are at the stage where a belief system looses cohesion and a desperate rush for damage control ensues. Its proponents have little more to resort to but blacklisting, selected PR glances at/hitpieces on fundies, and gauche diatribes by Richard Dawkins. The squirming has begun in earnest.


...But we make their truth our falsehood, thinking that hath made us free,
Hoarding it in mouldy parchments, while our tender spirits flee
The rude grasp of that great Impulse which drove them across the sea.

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply
post #21 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmz View Post

Back on the evolution thing, from a scientific perspective, evolution sans any sort of intelligent agents, is an idiotic proposition, and is believed for purely dogmatic reasons. The entire edifice of Darwinism is collapsing with each passing discovery. More complexity, jess junk DNA, homologies that don't fit 'the plan,' the tree of life that is now actually the Bush of life...

...that one was for MarcUK....

...irreducibly complex systems, etc. The Darwinist party is over. "Oh look, that irreducibly complex system is similar to this irreducibly complex system, so they must have evolved, just don't ask questions, and believe!"

Guillermo Gonzalez, just a little more than a week ago, was denied tenure purely for his ID stance -- not his science -- not his somewhat prestigious career. He has been blacklisted. You have to realize that Darwinists are at the stage where a belief system looses cohesion and a desperate rush for damage control ensues.

Its proponents have little more to resort to but blacklisting, and gauche diatribes by Richard Dawkins.

ROTFLMAO!

That was the best JOKE so far in this thread!

Keep them coming dmz!
Every eye fixed itself upon him; with parted lips and bated breath the audience hung upon his words, taking no note of time, rapt in the ghastly fascinations of the tale. NOT!
Reply
Every eye fixed itself upon him; with parted lips and bated breath the audience hung upon his words, taking no note of time, rapt in the ghastly fascinations of the tale. NOT!
Reply
post #22 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmz View Post

Back on the evolution thing, from a scientific perspective, evolution sans any sort of intelligent agents, is an idiotic proposition, and is believed for purely dogmatic reasons. The entire edifice of Darwinism is collapsing with each passing discovery. More complexity, jess junk DNA, homologies that don't fit 'the plan,' the tree of life that is now actually the Bush of life...

...that one was for MarcUK....

...irreducibly complex systems, etc. The Darwinist party is over. "Oh look, that irreducibly complex system is similar to this irreducibly complex system, so they must have evolved, just don't ask questions, and believe!"

Guillermo Gonzalez, just a little more than a week ago, was denied tenure purely for his ID stance -- not his science -- not his somewhat prestigious career. He has been blacklisted. You have to realize that Darwinists are at the stage where a belief system looses cohesion and a desperate rush for damage control ensues.

Its proponents have little more to resort to but blacklisting, and gauche diatribes by Richard Dawkins.

Yes, Dawkins is a nasty piece of work.....and a loon to boot.

At least Hitchens has a sense of humour. Give me Stephen Jay Gould anyday.

But yes, there is a Witch-hunt going on - and yes, there is an organized anti-religious Crusade in full swing. I call it the 'New Inquisition'.

Having said that though, much ID is utter claptrap and most creationists are far more lunatic than Dawkins is....though possibly equally as dangerous.

They are both two sides of the same coin.....have I mentioned that?
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
post #23 of 127
Actually a great book on the outright dishonesty of many of those who see it as their duty to oppose anyomne who does not embrace Darwinian Evolution is Forbidden Archaeology.

The book is a compendium of examples that science has dismissed and refuses to consider which all point to flaws in evolutionary theory.

It is not in any way intended to support ID and in fact argues against it as the main thesis is that humans have been around far longer than is presently accepted and that human civilization may date back millions of years.

Naturally, none of the book's claims have been deemed worthy of 'scientific consideration' and the authors have been abused, maligned and ignored in the time-honoured manner.
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
What is Faith? When your good deed pleases you and your evil deed grieves you, you are a believer. What is Sin? When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up - Prophet Muhammad
Reply
post #24 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by franksargent View Post

ROTFLMAO!

That was the best JOKE so far in this thread!

Not for professor Gonzalez, it isn't.

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply
post #25 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by segovius View Post

Actually a great book on the outright dishonesty of many of those who see it as their duty to oppose anyomne who does not embrace Darwinian Evolution is Forbidden Archaeology.

The book is a compendium of examples that science has dismissed and refuses to consider which all point to flaws in evolutionary theory.

It is not in any way intended to support ID and in fact argues against it as the main thesis is that humans have been around far longer than is presently accepted and that human civilization may date back millions of years.

Naturally, none of the book's claims have been deemed worthy of 'scientific consideration' and the authors have been abused, maligned and ignored in the time-honoured manner.

I definitely hear you.

They have rights who dare maintain them; we are traitors to our sires,
Smothering in their holy ashes Freedom's new-lit altar-fires;
Shall we make their creed our jailer? Shall we, in our haste to slay,
From the tombs of the old prophets steal the funeral lamps away
To light up the martyr-fagots round the prophets of to-day?

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply
post #26 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by segovius View Post

An atheist had heard that the local Mulla was very wise and this started to gnaw away at him. He felt that the local populace should recognize that it was he and not the Mulla who was full of wisdom.

Accordingly he challenged the Mulla to a debate on all matters theological, scientific and God knows what else; winner takes all, the next day at the Mulla's house at noon.

When the appointed hour came, the atheist proceeded all a-tremble to the Mulla's home. Knocking on the door he puffed himself up for the coming debate but there was no answer.....the Mulla had quite forgotten the 'great debate' and instead gone out to the local cafe to smoke the hubble-bubble.

Incensed, the atheist scribbled 'Stupid Oaf' on the Mulla's door and went home in a huff.

About an hour later, the Mulla was frantically knocking on the atheist's door...."I'm so sorry" he panted, "I had completely forgotten and it wasn't till I saw that you had written your name on my door that I remembered and hurried here quick as I could....."



I think the athiest knows the mullah is full of wisdom, and the mullah has an issue with sharing.
post #27 of 127
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did.""
Every eye fixed itself upon him; with parted lips and bated breath the audience hung upon his words, taking no note of time, rapt in the ghastly fascinations of the tale. NOT!
Reply
Every eye fixed itself upon him; with parted lips and bated breath the audience hung upon his words, taking no note of time, rapt in the ghastly fascinations of the tale. NOT!
Reply
post #28 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmz View Post

Back on the evolution thing, from a scientific perspective, evolution sans any sort of intelligent agents, is an idiotic proposition, and is believed for purely dogmatic reasons. The entire edifice of Darwinism is collapsing with each passing discovery. [/I]

This is total, utter, absolute fucking bullcrap.

It's impossible to write a considered response to this. It's as true as saying 'Housebricks are made from the crushed bones of the elves'.
post #29 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmz View Post

Back on the evolution thing, from a scientific perspective, evolution sans any sort of intelligent agents, is an idiotic proposition, and is believed for purely dogmatic reasons. The entire edifice of Darwinism is collapsing with each passing discovery. More complexity, jess junk DNA, homologies that don't fit 'the plan,' the tree of life that is now actually the Bush of life...

...that one was for MarcUK....

...irreducibly complex systems, etc. The Darwinist party is over: "Oh look, that irreducibly complex system is similar to this irreducibly complex system, so they must have evolved, just don't ask questions, and believe!" 'But wait, they're irreducibly complex, how could you actually build that, and do it by chance?' Oh, shut up you filthy stupidhead Christian, you want to kill the gays! End of 'dicussion.'

Guillermo Gonzalez, just a little more than a week ago, was denied tenure purely for his ID stance -- not his science -- not his somewhat prestigious career. He has been blacklisted. You have to realize that Darwinists are at the stage where a belief system looses cohesion and a desperate rush for damage control ensues. Its proponents have little more to resort to but blacklisting, selected PR glances at/hitpieces on fundies, and gauche diatribes by Richard Dawkins. The squirming has begun in earnest.


...But we make their truth our falsehood, thinking that hath made us free,
Hoarding it in mouldy parchments, while our tender spirits flee
The rude grasp of that great Impulse which drove them across the sea.

Oh look, dmz is making grunting sounds again.
post #30 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan i Sabbah View Post

'Housebricks are made from the crushed bones of the elves'.

Mine are. Faeries, too. But it takes a lot more of them.
"Stand Up for Chuck"
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"Stand Up for Chuck"
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post #31 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmz View Post

the tree of life that is now actually the Bush of life...

...that one was for MarcUK....


[/I]

Armed, prepared and dangerous


by the way, did anyone hear the one about the Christian sex doll?
post #32 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan i Sabbah View Post

This is total, utter, absolute fucking bullcrap.

I would imagine Dr. Gonzales said the very same thing.

New occasions teach new duties; Time makes ancient good uncouth;
They must upward still, and onward, who would keep abreast of Truth;
Lo, before us gleam her camp-fires! we ourselves must Pilgrims be,
Launch our Mayflower, and steer boldly through the desperate winter sea,
Nor attempt the Future's portal with the Past's blood-rusted key.

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply
post #33 of 127
This just in... Explosion in a printing shoppe destroys Darwinist. Film at 11...
"Stand Up for Chuck"
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"Stand Up for Chuck"
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post #34 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmz View Post

Back on the evolution thing, from a scientific perspective, evolution sans any sort of intelligent agents, is an idiotic proposition, and is believed for purely dogmatic reasons. The entire edifice of Darwinism is collapsing with each passing discovery. More complexity, jess junk DNA, homologies that don't fit 'the plan,' the tree of life that is now actually the Bush of life...

I really want you to define complexity, junk DNA, and homologies.

This ought to be fun.
"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
Reply
"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
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post #35 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShawnJ View Post

Oh look, dmz is making grunting sounds again.

Then a picture would be better?





No soup for you.

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply
post #36 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by hardeeharhar View Post

I really want you to define complexity, junk DNA, and homologies.

This ought to be fun.

we dont want that....well we can hope....but this topic is much better if you just take the piss out of eachother.
post #37 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcUK View Post

we dont want that....well we can hope....but this topic is much better if you just take the piss out of eachother.

dmz:



Quote:
Originally Posted by hardeeharhar View Post

I really want you to define complexity, junk DNA, and homologies.

This ought to be fun.

Are you kidding me.

How many times have we been serious with this guy only to have him saunter away for a few months reading "The Economist" and come back like he never before encountered any opposition to his creationist arguments? It's like those hundreds of pages of evolution threads he participated in never happened.
post #38 of 127
um...

dmz... perhaps you don't understand the tenure process. education institutions don't just consider the 'normalized' citation count when granting tenure. it has a lot more to do with funding, external reviews, quality of teaching etc. In other words, your jackoff du jour probably isn't well respected for one reason or another...
"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
Reply
"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
Reply
post #39 of 127
you're right shawn...
"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
Reply
"In a republic, voters may vote for the leaders they want, but they get the leaders they deserve."
Reply
post #40 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by hardeeharhar View Post

um...

dmz... perhaps you don't understand the tenure process. education institutions don't just consider the 'normalized' citation count when granting tenure. it has a lot more to do with funding, external reviews, quality of teaching etc. In other words, your jackoff du jour probably isn't well respected for one reason or another...

No, the funding canard, for one, has been tossed out already. You might want to familiarize yourself with the case before commenting.

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply

In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Reply
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