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We're going to have to attack Iran - Page 5
They particularly hate Godless turkey families that smoke brisket. Red neck bastards.
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Now, see, that just goes to show that you're from Texas and clearly don't know jack shit about good ribs. I have actually seen Texans walking down the street get slapped in the face by a rack of babyback pork ribs and still not know what it was.
I swear to God, the worst ribs I've ever eaten were when I was living in Oklahoma. BBQ SAUCE?!?! On BEEF RIBS? Dude. I have an idea: MAKE THE MEAT TASTE GOOD.
Tell you what: I won't tell Texans how to cook a steak if they won't talk to Southerners about ribs. Fair?
God! I feel so liberal right now I think I'll BBQ tonight!

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/me comes running with propane fish fryer assembly
/says AH GOTTA GAS TANK!!
Upon arriving, I will go to Gibson's Barbeque, where I will order the pork plate, with slaw, with hush puppies, and with a half dozen white buns, and with a giant ass crushed iced plastic glass co'-cola.
And then, my friends, if I could just have quiet there in the back, I will put that barbeque on that bun, and I will put that slaw on that barbeque, and then I will take the plastic squeeze bottle of God's own white, vinegary, slightly creamy, this-is-how-they-do-it-in-Huntsville "barbeque sauce" and I will squeeze a generous portion onto my sandwich, and I will feast.
Ya'll can take your weak-ass red sauce and "five alarm" Kansas City nonsense and lay them before the alter of properly pit barbequed pork served with slaw and white sauce and hush puppies and Coke.
Because that is what God intended his children to eat, as often as possible.
Behold:

Moreover, the friendly staff therein:

Aaahhhhhhh, soon, soon....
Coincidence?

I generally do too, but in this case, I'm curious about the white barbecue sauce. Never heard of that one before...personally I prefer 'sweet' barbecue, since spicy tends to give me GI issues...
\The Story of Stuff
The Story of Stuff
- midwinter
- Regietserd Uesr
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I've heard of it, actually, but I'm from just across the border.
/me checks google maps.
Gah! NO DIRECT ROUTE!

- ShawnJ
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Might I humbly suggest this culinary paradigm of virtue:
http://www.risckys.com/
...the thick slice of Vidalia, the whole Jalapeño on the side, the slaw, the sauce, the huge frosted goblet of Shiner Bock.
Outstanding.
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...
- midwinter
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As much as it saddens me, and as much as I think that Ft. Worth is the only city in Texas I would consider visiting again, I have eaten Risky's ribs.
I can only offer this advice for you poor Texans: for BBQ, you start in Memphis. Maybe some hype-y place like Rendezvous. There are, of course, better places in Memphis for ribs, but that's a good place to start.
Hell. They'll even ship them to you.
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- segovius
- The New Number 2
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Free anti-Halal Pork Ribs during 'Shock and Awe' hour maybe?
I think there's definitely some mileage in this....
There you go again, you heretic! Throwing a rib v. brisket dichotomy wrench into the works.
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...
- segovius
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I was just trying to help - I thought that pork might imbalance them (you know how these primitive savages are about foodstuffs) and when they are sufficiently discombobulated we could nuke them or something.
The pork is merely a distraction to prevent them strapping bombs to babies and throwing them at us before we had a chance to drench them in DU - I'm sure brisket is better objectively.......

I was just trying to help - I thought that pork might imbalance them (you know how these primitive savages are about foodstuffs) and when they are sufficiently discombobulated we could nuke them or something.
The pork is merely a distraction to prevent them strapping bombs to babies and throwing them at us before we had a chance to drench them in DU - I'm sure brisket is better objectively.......
Now way, José -- you start with the pork, they'll just break out the flatbread and radishes and threaten our guys with a fat-free meals!
A lose-lose mass culinary conflagration of stark proportions!
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...

Preparation time: 10 minutes + a few hours for marinating
Cooking time: Very fast - 8 minutes
Cost: Economical
Difficulty: Very easy
In Iranian restaurants, you will often find a Royal Kabob and a Chopped Meat Kabob offered: two different versions of the national dish.
Iranians use flat skewers, not round, which allow the meat to sit flat on the grill for quicker and more even cooking. Traditionally, the meat is taken off the skewer using pita bread or a piece of flat Iranian bread. It is then sprinkled with sumac, a spice that has no real taste of its own, but which brings out the taste of the brochette wonderfully. The kabobs can be served with Iranian bread or with hot white rice into which you have melted a knob of butter.
Ingredients for 4 people
450 g lean lamb (tenderloin or tenderized meat) Juice of one onion 2 tbsp. yogurt Salt, pepper and turmeric 1 tsp. lemon juice 125 ml (1/2 c.) butter or oil A pinch of saffron dissolved in 2 tbsp. boiling water (optional)
Method
1. Cut the meat into 2 cm by 6 cm slices;
2. mix the yogurt, onion juice, lemon juice and seasonings together in a bowl; add the meat and let marinate for a few hours in the refrigerator;
3. thread the meat onto the skewers lengthwise, through the middle;
4. place the skewers on a wooden board and pound the meat with a heavy object or the side of a large knife to flatten it and make it very thin;
5. coat the meat with the butter and saffron or oil;
6. place on the grill and cook for 3-4 minutes on each side.
From the Worldwidegourmet.com
Desperately trying to stay on topic...

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Mmmm. That is supposed to be very good. However, one must be very careful. I have heard of massive death, destruction and general disfigurement from Turkey Fryer Explosions. Seriously. But is supposed to be the best Turkey ever.



"America is Better: We Like Pork. Mmmm. Pork."
Well, hereabouts (currently being my parents home in Huntsville, Gibson's ahoy!), death, destruction and disfigurement are generally accepted as appropriate collateral damage when it comes to festivities of all sorts. Folks get drunk, blow shit up, set shit on fire, come up with novel things to do with riding lawnmowers and weedwackers, discharge firearms in a highly unsafe fashion, and then it's time to deep-fry the turkey.
Really. Watching the evening news down here is an interesting blend of bug-eyed horror and fits of giggling, as they run through the day's injuries, house fires and casual mayhem resulting from people having some fun or trying to make dinner or just getting bored and drunk at the same time.
Fourth of July is generally an epic conflagration. Can't wait.
Yeeeee haaaaaw!

Well, hereabouts (currently being my parents home in Huntsville, Gibson's ahoy!), death, destruction and disfigurement are generally accepted as appropriate collateral damage when it comes to festivities of all sorts. Folks get drunk, blow shit up, set shit on fire, come up with novel things to do with riding lawnmowers and weedwackers, discharge firearms in a highly unsafe fashion, and then it's time to deep-fry the turkey.
Really. Watching the evening news down here is an interesting blend of bug-eyed horror and fits of giggling, as they run through the day's injuries, house fires and casual mayhem resulting from people having some fun or trying to make dinner or just getting bored and drunk at the same time.
Fourth of July is generally an epic conflagration. Can't wait.
Yeeeee haaaaaw!
IMHO, deep fried turkey is as good as it gets, turkey-wise.


Mmmm. That is supposed to be very good. However, one must be very careful. I have heard of massive death, destruction and general disfigurement from Turkey Fryer Explosions. Seriously. But is supposed to be the best Turkey ever.



"America is Better: We Like Pork. Mmmm. Pork."
Pork. Mohamed Atta's favorite white meat.
The Story of Stuff
The Story of Stuff

Well, hereabouts (currently being my parents home in Huntsville, Gibson's ahoy!), death, destruction and disfigurement are generally accepted as appropriate collateral damage when it comes to festivities of all sorts. Folks get drunk, blow shit up, set shit on fire, come up with novel things to do with riding lawnmowers and weedwackers, discharge firearms in a highly unsafe fashion, and then it's time to deep-fry the turkey.
Really. Watching the evening news down here is an interesting blend of bug-eyed horror and fits of giggling, as they run through the day's injuries, house fires and casual mayhem resulting from people having some fun or trying to make dinner or just getting bored and drunk at the same time.
Fourth of July is generally an epic conflagration. Can't wait.
Yeeeee haaaaaw!
Warning!
Without a Crappie/Bream outing -- consummated in a rip-roaring fish fry -- your entire trip will turn to ash in your mouth!
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...
In our desire to impose form on the world we have lost the capacity to see the form that is there;
and in that lies not liberation but alienation, the cutting off from things as they really are. --...


Preparation time: 10 minutes + a few hours for marinating
Cooking time: Very fast - 8 minutes
Cost: Economical
Difficulty: Very easy
Ingredients for 4 people
450 g lean lamb (tenderloin or tenderized meat) Juice of one onion 2 tbsp. yogurt Salt, pepper and turmeric 1 tsp. lemon juice 125 ml (1/2 c.) butter or oil A pinch of saffron dissolved in 2 tbsp. boiling water (optional)
Method
1. Cut the meat into 2 cm by 6 cm slices;
2. mix the yogurt, onion juice, lemon juice and seasonings together in a bowl; add the meat and let marinate for a few hours in the refrigerator;
3. thread the meat onto the skewers lengthwise, through the middle;
4. place the skewers on a wooden board and pound the meat with a heavy object or the side of a large knife to flatten it and make it very thin;
5. coat the meat with the butter and saffron or oil;
6. place on the grill and cook for 3-4 minutes on each side.
From the Worldwidegourmet.com
Desperately trying to stay on topic...

Why do you eat like a terrorist? Why do you hate America?



- midwinter
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OMGCRAPPIE.
You just made my mouth water at the very thought.
Say, weren't you buying crappie Christmas tree ornaments a few years ago?
- midwinter
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I actually didn't. But I *did* buy the crappie belt buckle with built-in tape measure.
And I helped my uncle set up his online crappie stuff store.
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Well, hereabouts (currently being my parents home in Huntsville, Gibson's ahoy!), death, destruction and disfigurement are generally accepted as appropriate collateral damage when it comes to festivities of all sorts. Folks get drunk, blow shit up, set shit on fire, come up with novel things to do with riding lawnmowers and weedwackers, discharge firearms in a highly unsafe fashion, and then it's time to deep-fry the turkey.
Really. Watching the evening news down here is an interesting blend of bug-eyed horror and fits of giggling, as they run through the day's injuries, house fires and casual mayhem resulting from people having some fun or trying to make dinner or just getting bored and drunk at the same time.
Fourth of July is generally an epic conflagration. Can't wait.
Yeeeee haaaaaw!
Dude..whenever fireworks and alcohol come together, it'd bound to be a good time. It reminds of this time when I was a kid and we went, I shit you not...to a demolition derby. There are some QUALITY individuals are those things, let me tell you. Anyway, that had fireworks after the carnage, and they malfunctioned due to wind or something. All the embers came down on the bleachers. Fortunately no was was hurt, but I recall several "light beer enhanced" persons getting more fired up (sorry) as more ashes came down.
Of course, then there was the time my friend singed is eyebrows off and melted the skin on most of his hand by emptying the powder from those spinner fireworks they used to sell at convenient stories, putting it in a styrofoam cup and lighting it.
The best one though is my brother, who I am CONVINCED gave Char-Broil the idea for the convertible gas/charcoal grill. We went to a party at his apartment, where he had this gas grill he bought when he moved in. Two weeks later, the apt. banned gas grills on balconies. But, they said charcoal grills were OK...it was the gas they were worried about.
So, my brother, who is normally very intelligent, called Char-Broil and asked them if he could convert the grill. I believe their response was "we definitely recommend that you do not do that....and it will void your warranty, champ." So he and his normall not=so-intelligent friend decided to say fuck it and do it anyway. Well, they put in a ENTIRE BAG of self-lighting charcoal, then put half a can of lighter fluid on it.
<commercial break>
After the ensuing 6 foot fire that scorched the concrete patio ceiling and sent smoke billowing out into central Allentown, PA...they realized the metal on the grill was turning white. It turns out that it was melting. So they started poking it with a stick to check it's structural integrity. After we picked most of the charcoal out with tongs and
grilled up some tasty "really flame broiled' burgers, the grill was never used again, except as the home for a nice colony of yellow jackets, who made the charred palace their home for the next two years.
6 months later, Char-Broil introduced their convertible gas/charcoal grill. Bastards.
What's the ultimate irony of this, you ask?...
My brother is now works for the US patent office.
Fuckin' Char-Broil.
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Mon Jun 25, 7:22 PM ET
Iranian Revolutionary Guard forces have been spotted by British troops crossing the border into southern Iraq, The Sun tabloid reported on Tuesday.
Britain's defence ministry would not confirm or deny the report, with a spokesman declining to comment on "intelligence matters".
An unidentified intelligence source told the tabloid: "It is an extremely alarming development and raises the stakes considerably. In effect, it means we are in a full on war with Iran -- but nobody has officially declared it."
"We have hard proof that the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps have crossed the border to attack us. It is very hard for us to strike back. All we can do is try to defend ourselves. We are badly on the back foot."
The Sun said that radar sightings of Iranian helicopters crossing into the Iraqi desert were confirmed to it by very senior military sources.
In response to the report, a British defence ministry spokesman said: "There is evidence that explosive devices used against our troops in southern Iraq originated in Iran."
"Any Iranian link to armed militias in Iraq either through weapons supply, training or funding are unacceptable."
Britain has about 7,100 soldiers in Iraq, most of whom are based in the southern city of Basra and surrounding areas, though the government has pledged to reduce that to between 5,000 and 5,500 this year.
I know, it's the Sun...but there are now three carrier strike groups in the region (Nimitz, Stennis and Enterprise). With Cheney running the for-policy show and Ramadan only a couple of months out, it would seem that if any time is ripe for our assault, this is about it. Otherwise, we wait through until Feb and do it then (may be a nice way to secure Republican re-election, don't want to switch horses midstream). Of course, it could all be bluster.
- We're going to have to attack Iran
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