Restaurant Etiquette

A few things you should know or do:

Seating

If you can help it, sit where the hosts seat you. Servers usually have "sections" of assigned tables that are filled in a particular order. If you want to sit elsewhere, most restaurants will accommodate you, but understand you will be screwing up the order. Either another server will have to take your table out of turn, or someone else will take that server's table, leaving him or her with one less table and forcing him or her to either take tables outside their section or temporarily swap tables with the other server. That is not always possible, so at best you are screwing things up and at worst taking away earnings from another server. Instead, first ask if your server has another table in his or her section that you can sit at.

Also, upon seating, if you tell your server you need to make a movie or some other engagement by a certain time, there is nothing a server can do to expedite your service besides recommending faster-cooking menu items, and be ready to take your order and give you your check as soon as possible. Generally appetizers and sandwiches cook fastest. Steaks, burgers, and things of that sort do not.

Kids

Kids are a server's and busser's worst nightmare. They take up valuable seating space, their dinners are cheap, and they make a horrible mess. Do not let your kids make a mess. If they do, either clean it up or compensate your server.

Large Groups

Expect to wait longer for seating, service, your food, and your check. Go in the order that your server prefers. Check-splitting is an issue with larger groups. If multiple people will pay, be sure to tell your server before ordering. Also, if you're going to split the check, please sit in some sort of arrangement that your server can follow. "He's with me" and "the one second on the left is mine" are not easy to follow arrangements when 2-3 groups are doing the same thing as you.

Tipping.

20% should be a standard tip, not something awarded only for exceptional service. It also should not be given on a merit basis because good service in a busy restaurant is more dependent on luck than merit. Many people have at least some ethical tipping standard, but in the end they're all arbitrary no matter how consistent you think you're being. The only time you should deviate from a 20% tip is if a server willfully goes out of his or her way to make your experience bad. Server mistakes happen from time to time.

Closing Times

Respect them. Do not come 5 minutes before closing and demand to be seated, or argue with the host that your watch is slower than the restaurant's. Restaurant staff have worked a very long day and should not have to stay longer to work around your schedule. If the restaurant is fairly empty, it's not economical for it to remain open past closing either. There are 24 hour restaurants in your area most likely. Go to one of them. However, if you do manage to get seated, then order something quick like an appetizer or a sandwich. Understand that nothing will be all that good at that time of the night. Eat and leave. Do not linger afterwards as people must stay longer to clean up after you.

Complaints

The customer is not always right. If you demand a full refund after eating most of whatever you ordered, you will not get a refund. Restaurants exist to make a profit, not to feed the needy. If you do not want a refund, then by all means tell your manager about any aspect of your experience that you found sub-par. They need to know this.

Payment

When paying your server, credit cards are faster. For me it never mattered whether customers gave me a cash tip or a credit card tip, but some like cash because then they can underreport their tips at the end of the night. But if you pay for your meal in cash, don't ask for change if possible. If not, then expect to wait longer because servers only have a limited amount of change on them.

Yes, I think so too.

I'm mostly just trying to raise awareness that, you know, your actions in a restaurant will affect your service. If you do things a certain way, you're more likely to have less or more mistake-prone service, faster or slower service, etc. Customers' expectations need to account for the customers themselves in part. But otherwise, I agree with you.


Rightly so.


It depends on if it's busy. If it's busy, your server not being in view probably reflects his or her being busy doing something else. Should you punish him or her for getting swamped at that moment, scheduling mistakes that left too few servers on the floor, or an over-zealous front-of-the-house manager who seats tables the moment they are available? If it's not busy though, I can sympathize a lot more with the customer.

Also, if you are an asshole customer, understand that your food may be "altered."

It's not my job.

And I don't expect to give servers "special treatment;" I expect customers to realize their actions affect their service in part.


I never said it was otherwise.

No one's saying hosts shouldn't accommodate customers' seating preferences. But realize your asking for a different table *has repercussions* that people don't realize. Most customers think they can sit anywhere they choose, even in closed sections (which is generally one place managers and hosts will rightfully steer customers away from and suggest a similar seat elsewhere)


You doubt?

You would not believe what customers typically ask for when they're rushed. But they should at least realize what's possible, what entrees to choose, and how to speed things up otherwise (cash vs. credit card, etc).


Um.

No, it's rather not. Customers typically spring last-minute check-splitting notices on servers. That's fine, *no one's saying servers should not accommodate this,* but just understand that it's going to take longer to sort out the check and it's going to be more mistake-prone. In larger groups (10+) customers frequently seat their children together at one end of a table and it's a mess trying to figure things out. Again, *no one's saying servers should not accommodate this,* but again understand that it may affect your service.


People are very very resistant to challenges to their tipping standards.

You seem to have some sort of standard, but once again, it's not very ethical when you get right down to it. You're tipping for a smile? I'm sorry but that shouldn't have anything to do with paying someone their earnings. This is where arbitrariness comes into play here. What if one server isn't quick to smile like another server? These people generally work *very hard* on weekend nights, so no matter how many mistakes they make, they are all doing their job. I'm increasingly convinced that good service is really a matter of luck. If you knew how chaotic kitchens are on a busy night at an average restaurant, you'd be more sympathetic to this view.

Also, servers don't make much to begin with (typically half of min. wage + tips). Your reserved "20% for excellent service" might be $4-5 more to you on an average night, but that could be $50 more to the server. I don't buy the "they could choose another job" argument. They are, for whatever reasons, working this job. A real minimum wage for servers would help, but that's a different topic.


As in the kitchen "closes at 11" and oftentimes a little earlier than the posted time if it's really slow.

And if you do walk in that time, and somehow manage to get sat, you are absolutely without a doubt an asshole customer. I personally wouldn't walk into a restaurant 30 minutes before closing, but 15 minutes should be the absolute minimum (to give you enough time to order properly). And we are not talking about servers making closing decisions. We are talking about managers making those decisions. The restaurant isn't making much money to stay open for you.


I think you can, obviously.

I was not referring to pie-in-the-sky scenarios like that, but instances where the customer doesn't "like it" or felt it was "cooked poorly." Well, they ate it. If they didn't like it, the restaurant would have counted that as a loss and cooked them something different. This happens several times a night on a busy night. Someone's always looking for something.


The point is that it shortens or delays your departure, not that you shouldn't pay however you like. And that you should be *aware* that how you pay affects your server as well. A little conscientiousness and empathy for everyone would be nice for a change.


I was very well-suited for customer service. I worked in a restaurant for 6 years doing every imaginable job. I was a courteous and knowledgeable server for the final 4 of those years. But this is not about me. And this is not about catering to servers. This is at a minimum, about raising awareness how certain customer actions will affect their service, about being conscientious to the restaurant staff, and things of that nature.

I do not suggest a restaurant should not accommodate customers.

I'm merely pointing out that customer expectations might be unreasonable if they don't take into account their own actions. I pointed out several examples where what customers do might affect the level and efficiency of service, ***regardless*** of the best efforts of the staff.


Just in general, I think you're missing a lot if you only see my points about consideration towards the staff.


I do not think customers *must* seat themselves according to what's easier for the staff.

Restaurants will accommodate your seating choices. But let me explain something about seating that clearly customers don't understand. If you *do* deviate from how restaurants seat you, it may very well affect your service *regardless* of the best efforts of your server. If it's a busy night and the server had to end up taking a table far away from his or her section, you might wait longer for service throughout the night. There's often nothing the restaurant can do about this if no other server can take the table. So adjust your expectations accordingly.

And the corollary to that is to not bring out the food too quickly either. The Olive Garden once brought out my dinner 8 minutes after I ordered. Going to a chain restaurant, you're going to expect they emphasize efficient cooking and high turnover rates, but that's just too quick.

With longer cooking times, anywhere from 20-40 minutes is not out of the ordinary. Generally restaurants want to get the food out between 20 and 30 minutes. Any longer and you're killing your turnover rate, so trust me, long food waits aren't good for the restaurant either.


Yes, if it's too cold then that's not going to make many happy customers. But most restaurants besides the small independent ones are not authorized to fiddle with the thermostat. It's usually set by policy either by a corporate office or otherwise. So while some customers might leave or be uncomfortable during their stay, most times there's nothing the staff or managers can do about it.

$15,310 mean yearly wage for full-time servers (including tips).

My bad.

$17,190 in 2006.

Those statistics are for full-time staff.

Tinker asked.

Follow along please.