Now I know what is the product Steve is going to announce!
An air conditioner!
The Apple Whoosh
It has amazing new features:
Compact size. With it's ultra portable size you could transport it were you go, even if it weights the same as your refrigerator. It's that thin. And that heavy, too.
Touchscreen. Because there is nothing worse that an air conditioner remote. Imagine a beautiful touch interface. Pinch once to put it in "comfort" with a smooth nice wind in your head, pinch twice to go "caribean" and holograms of caribean hot girls make the appearance around you. It uses sensors to detect were you are and place the holographic girls right there.
.Mac Syncing. What happens when you go to a conference or a hotel and you want to relax like when you're at home but you don't have your Apple Woosh with you? Well, using .Mac syncing, all your Wooshes will remember your favorite settings. It's that easy. It's just work. Another reason to switch to Mac, even tough will work on Windows too, but the iTunes version will be crippled.
Flash drive. What you say? Nobody wants memory on an air conditioner? Oh, your so wrong. Steve knows we want to see pictures in the roof while the Apple Woosh use a mosaic effect to present the family photos to... well, the family. And all of this magic uses Core Animation and isn't compatible with Tiger, so make sure so upgraded to the latest big cat.
iTunes WIFI Store. Wouldn't it be great if you could purchase music right in the living room while looking at the caribean girls proyected by the Apple Woosh? Of course it would. Just watch the Steve demo at the keynote or wait for the Steve Jobs Clone demo at Apple.com, the same guy that demoed Leopard with the classical look of SJ.
Integrated iSight. Don't you wish you could take photos with your air conditioner? Or make a video chat? The Apple Woosh includes a new iSight camera that will just know when you want to broadcast your life to the world. Just bounce your head three times and the Apple Woosh will kill the lights and open iChat for you, with all your lazy friends waiting for talking to you, because we know you think your so important.
It's the ultimate reality show. You can make feeds and WooshCasts that your dummy friends will easily watch at there iPod or AppleTV. You would not need to know anything about air conditioners, let the Apple Woosh be up there for you, broadcasting your life to iTunes and, of course, making you cool. (Get it? "Cool"? Because it's a air conditioner. It makes you cool. Get it?)
The Apple Woosh will ship in "febiury" at the incredible cost of $499. But wait two months, because by then it will cost just $10.