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The Grammar Rant Thread!

post #1 of 149
Thread Starter 
Dear People of the English Speaking World:

Learn to use the friggin' apostrophe.

Here's a quick lesson:

Used to be (i.e. prior to about 800 AD) that English had case endings like in Latin. The (genitive) case ending that indicated possession was "-es." It still is that way in German.

So. If I wanted to say "Midwinter's grammar rant thread," I'd write "Midwinteres grammar rant thread."

Eventually, the apostrophe emerged in the 17th century to make things a little easier for us. You see, an apostrophe in a word means that something has been omitted. What's been omitted? The "e." And so "Midwinteres" becomes "Midwinter's."

And so on and so forth.

What's your grammar rant?
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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post #2 of 149
Who the hell besides you cares about this stuff in a internet forum. We aren't writing scholarly journal articles.

Most of us quickly respond to other posting. I don't always care about perfect grammar in this environment. Do you follow grammar when you text message?

Let it go man...
post #3 of 149
English doesn't have a gender neutral pronoun for the third person singular besides the uber-pretentious "one."

Rant part: ENGLISH, YOU BASTARDIZED TONGUE!
post #4 of 149
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShawnJ View Post

English doesn't have a gender neutral pronoun for the third person singular besides the uber-pretentious "one."

Rant part: ENGLISH, YOU BASTARDIZED TONGUE!

English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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post #5 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwinter View Post

English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.

And sound stupid?

( Oh no I dint!)
post #6 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwinter View Post

English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.

Unless you're from central PA, then it's younz.

( Never had to spell that out before)
post #7 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwinter View Post

English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.

Ha! After I read Shawn's post but before I scrolled down I was about to post that "ya'll" should be recognized as the official plural "you" of the English language.

I mean, clearly, head and shoulders above such ungainly constructs as "youse guys", "you-uns" and "all you".

Just imagine the thrill of hearing Terry Gross, for instance, habitually saying things like "Now, ya'll have a new movie coming out, tell us about that."

Southerners, however, would get to remain soul guardians of the mystery of the singular ya'll.
They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
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They spoke of the sayings and doings of their commander, the grand duke, and told stories of his kindness and irascibility.
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post #8 of 149
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by addabox View Post

Just imagine the thrill of hearing Terry Gross, for instance, habitually saying things like "Now, ya'll have a new movie coming out, tell us about that."

But by the same token, imagine Larry King habitually saying things like "I see y'all are wearing pants. Why don't we talk about that?"

Quote:
Southerners, however, would get to remain soul guardians of the mystery of the singular ya'll.

Indeed. Equally sacrosanct is the most excellent "yo'mamma'n'nem."
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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post #9 of 149
The internet's and text messenging's made grammer obselete.
traveling the globe in an envelope
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traveling the globe in an envelope
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post #10 of 149
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flat Stanley View Post

The internet's and text messenging's made grammer obselete.

Indeed, although later today I have to help my uncle, Jack, off a donkey.

LONG LIVE THE APPOSITIVE!
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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post #11 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flat Stanley View Post

The internet's and text messenging's made grammer obselete.

Not to mention spelling.
post #12 of 149
The southern dialect.

*Snooze*

We've been there before. You haven't heard stupidity until you've heard people from Northeast PA talk. We've got our own wikipedia page and dialect. Here are some marvelous examples:
Quote:
Atha Leets
If you're real good, you'll go on TV as the Atha-Leet of the Week, especially if you play for a semi-pro team like Berwick High School that recruits from a 10,000-mile radius.

Aynit?
This is an advanced form of "Haynit?", spoken mainly in deep, dark interior regions such as Ashley and West Nanny-coke, where anthropologists fear to tread

Be-endat
It's hard to find good halupki anymore, be-endat the Ackamees all shut down and Gerrity's is too busy setting up their chicken barbecues in the parking lot, smokin' up the neighborhood.

Bott Tings
It's the turd of the month and da checks are out, so we bott tings at Bosco's.

Cattycorner
Farley's is cattycorner from the courthouse, hayna?

Da You
That fine Jesuit institute of higher learning on Mulberry Street, not far from CMC where they pump alcohol out of kids' stomachs.
Some people in the Wyoming Valley probably think it's called the University of Wilkes-Barre/Scranton.

Down da line
Pittston and points south.

Fish Tix
Mrs. Poll makes 'em.

Hoddogs
The boys at the hose house fry these suckers up on the grill when there ain't no fires on the scanner, just in time for Jerry Springer.

Jeet jet?
In other words, did you scarf down those Mrs. T's Pierogies in the freezer? The proper response is "No, jew? But don't worry, Dairy Dan is out there ringin' da bell right now, unless of course you're lactose intolerant."

Korder
15 minutes before or after the hour. "Honey, it's korder ta seven. Ain't doze fish tix done yet? I'm havin' a regular conniption fit in here kuzz the cable's busted and all I can pick up is the I-Team exposing stale donuts at the greasy spoon in Tunkhannock."

The Kowney
Who needs college? You can get a nice juicy job with The Kowney, laying down orange cones on the highway.

Kupple-too-tree
A kupple-too-tree hoddogs and a kupple-too-tree Meisterbraüs sure beats a Happy Meal, dammit.

Onnakowna
We better head over the bowling alley onnakowna there ain't nothing exciting happening on the scanner, Jerry Springer's over, and there's no WWF until tomorrow.

I don't talk like this, being edjumakated and stuffs.
post #13 of 149
I hate stupid fucking commas in the wrong place. Don't use a comma if you don't need it or resolve your frigging clauses, stupid writing people.

Once you see this one you start seeing it everywhere.

"The Danish physicist, Nils Bohr was a very clever man."

What? Denmark has had only one physicist in its entire history? And his name was Nils?

Oh, you meant "The Danish physicist, Nils Bohr, was a very clever man." But you could have written "The Danish physicist Nils Bohr was a very clever man" and it would have been more elegant. And unless you were making a comparison you shouldn't have gone anywhere near the commas in the first place. I bet you weren't making a comparison, were you? No. That's what I thought.

"The Republican candidate, Ron Paul said today 'Let them eat cake.' "

Wait: I thought they hadn't decided who was going to represent the Party of God (no offence, Fellowship) in the elections.

Oh, hang on: you meant "The Republican candidate, Ron Paul, said today 'Let them eat cake." But really what you meant, since you weren't making a comparison, you illiterate knobcheese, was "The Republican candidate Ron Paul said today 'When I get elected it's every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost with a pitchfork in the anus' " or something of that ilk.

You get the picture.
post #14 of 149
post #15 of 149
What the hell? A guy like Mojo can get a response on these forums but Dave K can't?

I was waiting for something good to come out of that, and I get nothing...
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #16 of 149
I'll take the bait...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave K. View Post

Who the hell besides you cares about this stuff in a internet forum. We aren't writing scholarly journal articles.

Most of us quickly respond to other posting. I don't always care about perfect grammar in this environment. Do you follow grammar when you text message?

Let it go man...

A few misspelled words I can deal with...but bear with me...

Compare a discussion here to let's say a discussion in a cafe with another person. If that person can't communicate their point grammatically, will you pay attention? Will you stop them and correct them? More likely you'll save them the embarrassment and move on.

Anyone who tries to direct a point or express their opinions in an online forum or via email and is sloppy or immature in their grammar, I totally lose interest and even suspect their credibility. The same reaction I would have in a real face to face discussion.

Text messaging is dodgy, because I don't have a cell phone and much less would not care to text message people anyway.

From the looks of it though, text messaging will be the bane of the Internet and World communication in general.
post #17 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by @_@ Artman View Post

From the looks of it though, text messaging will be the bane of the Internet and World communication in general.

wot do u mean lol any1 can c that u have a carrot in yr ass abt grammar
post #18 of 149
I hate when people mix up their, there, and they're. They're different words people!

Same thing with to, too, and two.
post #19 of 149
I hate when people quote Friedrich Nietzsche.
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
Reply
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #20 of 149
I hate when people quote Mickey Mantle (I mean, seriously, he was clinically retarded).
post #21 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outsider View Post

I hate when people mix up their, there, and they're. They're different words people!

Same thing with to, too, and two.

!!!!!
From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that!" -...
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From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that!" -...
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post #22 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outsider View Post

I hate when people quote Mickey Mantle (I mean, seriously, he was clinically retarded).



Quote:
"I made a wrong mistake." - Yogi Berra
post #23 of 149
English is a horrible language.

Quote:
The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Even more
post #24 of 149
"Lose" and "loose". I am truly fearful that the word "lose" will soon be all but lost to us. Frankly, I think it's a travesty.

Please note midwinter my dog is also an expert in the use of the apostrophe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by adda

I mean, clearly, head and shoulders above such ungainly constructs as "youse guys", "you-uns" and "all you".

The local territory minister I've been doing battle with for what seems like forever has been known to refer to the opposition as "you guys" at sittings of the Legislative Assembly. It beautifully sums up her intelligence level and really raises the tone of the place.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan

you illiterate knobcheese

I am an illiterate knobcheese. I was taught to use them where one would pause if speaking. So I would write:

Chester's dog, Bob, is smarter than midwinter's dog, Molly.

And we are not ashamed to use the pretentious "one". We are quite partial to the even more pretentious royal "we" as well.
Tomorrow shall be love for the loveless;
And for the lover, tomorrow shall be love.
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Tomorrow shall be love for the loveless;
And for the lover, tomorrow shall be love.
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post #25 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outsider View Post

I hate when people quote Mickey Mantle (I mean, seriously, he was clinically retarded).

Touché, Outie.

Touché.
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
Reply
"If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I'd wear a dress." - Mickey Mantle
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post #26 of 149
I hate when cry babies get all upset about grammar on the internet.

Does it hinder me from making a living? No.

Does it cause me to loose friends? No.

Besides in my line of work the scripts make no sense anyway. What do I care?
post #27 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster308 View Post

Does it cause me to loose...

Credibility. See Chester's post.

post #28 of 149
There's nothing better than the creative use of the apostrophe. Some people just stick 'em in there whenever there's an 's,' just in case. Back home there's a door with a big sign that says "Employee's only."

Here's a good one I saw just today: "Do we really wan't Baucus coming up with a stimulus plan?"

"Wan't."

That's better than any mixed metaphor or Yogi Berra saying that I've ever seen.
post #29 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonton View Post

Credibility. See Chester's post.


So let me get this straight....typing on my laptop and putting two "o" causes me to loose credibility? to who you? big whoopie...

Do you pay me? The day that you do and it matter's then i will give a rat's ass.
post #30 of 149
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster308 View Post

So let me get this straight....typing on my laptop and putting two "o" causes me to loose credibility? to who you? big whoopie...

Do you pay me? The day that you do and it matter's then i will give a rat's ass.



I GAVE A FUCKING LESSON ON HOW TO USE THE APOSTROPHE AT THE TOP OF THIS GOD FORSAKEN THREAD AND YOU STILL FUCKED IT UP!!!!

FAIL.

Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
post #31 of 149
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BRussell View Post

There's nothing better than the creative use of the apostrophe. Some people just stick 'em in there whenever there's an 's,' just in case. Back home there's a door with a big sign that says "Employee's only."

Here's a good one I saw just today: "Do we really wan't Baucus coming up with a stimulus plan?"

"Wan't."

That's better than any mixed metaphor or Yogi Berra saying that I've ever seen.

Yeah. I've seen that one before. Of course, I also once had a 20 year old college student write "I had runned to the store."

Had. Runned.

But it's OK. She wasn't being paid to write, so it didn't really matter.
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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post #32 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwinter View Post

I GAVE A FUCKING LESSON ON HOW TO USE THE APOSTROPHE AT THE TOP OF THIS GOD FORSAKEN THREAD AND YOU STILL FUCKED IT UP!!!!

FAIL.


WTF is this a 5th grade test? Let me guess you are a teacher?

Again, I think i am doing just fine being a horrible speller.
post #33 of 149
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster308 View Post

WTF is this a 5th grade test? Let me guess you are a teacher?

Again, I think i am doing just fine being a horrible speller.


MISSING A HYPHEN, A COMMA, AND A COLON IN THE FIRST LINE AND THERE'S A CAPITALIZATION ERROR IN THE SECOND LINE.




Additionally, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that if you have such anxieties about your grammatical and spelling deficiencies, you need not express them by being hostile to a thread that makes you uncomfortable. Here. Go look at some LOLcats.
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
Reply
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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post #34 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwinter View Post

MISSING A HYPHEN, A COMMA, AND A COLON IN THE FIRST LINE AND THERE'S A CAPITALIZATION ERROR IN THE SECOND LINE.




Additionally, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that if you have such anxieties about your grammatical and spelling deficiencies, you need not express them by being hostile to a thread that makes you uncomfortable. Here. Go look at some LOLcats.

how am i hostile? you're the one screaming at me in all caps.
post #35 of 149
I'm amused by the kids making excuses for their stupidity. Just because you're not being paid makes it OK to be stupid?
From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that!" -...
Reply
From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, "Look at that!" -...
Reply
post #36 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingOfSomewhereHot View Post

I'm amused by the kids making excuses for their stupidity. Just because you're not being paid makes it OK to be stupid?

It really sums up contemporary culture, doesn't it?
post #37 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingOfSomewhereHot View Post

I'm amused by the kids making excuses for their stupidity. Just because you're not being paid makes it OK to be stupid?

kids? im 31 own my house, two cars, one motorcycle, my childs college is already paid for (she's 11months old) and i can retire now if i choose to do so.

man i hope i make it
post #38 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster308 View Post

kids? im 31 own my house, two cars, one motorcycle, my childs college is already paid for (she's 11months old) and i can retire now if i choose to do so.

man i hope i make it

If you have a motorcycle, you're a kid.
post #39 of 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster308 View Post

kids? im 31 own my house, two cars, one motorcycle, my childs college is already paid for (she's 11months old) and i can retire now if i choose to do so.

man i hope i make it

Have mom correct that spelling and grammar homework.

post #40 of 149
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShawnJ View Post

Have mom correct that spelling and grammar homework.


Maybe his shift and apostrophe keys are broken.
Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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Gangs are not seen as legitimate, because they don't have control over public schools.
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