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Growing List of Apple's Laughing Stockboyz

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
As Apple ultimately becomes vidicated, it will engender a long line of "Wrong-Way Corrigans" who, standing on the edge of blackhole oblivion, insistently proclaim "There is too much fuss being made about gravity - ummmm, make that Apple!!" Apple's Trail of Tearz starts to the left:

1. MICHAEL MALONE (Author of Infinite Loop) - "Steve Jobs just cant take on this juggernaut called Intel/Windows. Look at the combined market capitalization of Gateway, Dell, Compaq, Intel and Microsoft. Thats like two trillion dollars that hes up against. And there almost 300 more. No matter how well he does, hes still got himself a $15 or $20 billion company. The question is: Can Jobs do much more than hes done right now? Hes up against 300 companies. No matter how clever Jobs is, the combined creativity and brainpower of 300 companies ultimately will defeat him. He didnt believe that the first time around. I think he knows that now. Thats why I think hes positioned Apple for the big exit. I suspect hes shopping the place around.

I dont want to say Steve Jobs is a one trick pony, but his two great successes are the Mac and the iMac and theyre both the same thing."

2. NATHAN MYHRVOLD - In discussing Apple's failure to bring the Copland operating system to market, Microsoft's Nathan Myhrvold says Apple had to suffer "the ultimate ignominy" of buying an operating system from the outside. This is a very ironic statement, considering that Bill Gates and Paul Allen bought a CP/M clone called 86-DOS and made some modifications. It was later known as MS-DOS!

3. MICHAEL DELL - When asked how to fix Apple, the head of Dell offers a rather drastic solution: "Close it and return the shareholders' money!"

4. STEVE BALLMER - (Nov 14, 2006) ... Microsoft's Zune Can Beat Apple's IPod, Ballmer Says

5. ED COLLIGAN - "Responding to questions from New York Times correspondent John Markoff at a Churchill Club breakfast gathering Thursday morning, Colligan laughed off the idea that any company -- including the wildly popular Apple Computer -- could easily win customers in the finicky smart-phone sector.

"We've learned and struggled for a few years here figuring out how to make a decent phone," he said. "PC guys are not going to just figure this out. They're not going to just walk in.'"

6. Jeff Zucker/George Kliavkoff (don't deserve to be capitalized) - "A move by NBC Universal to walk away or withdraw a large amount of content will probably hobble Apples efforts to move deeper into the sale of video-focused consumer electronics like the iPhone and a new class of iPods"

... and counting!
post #2 of 28
Makking Woz #1 really doesn't do him justice.

-t
post #3 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post

Makking Woz #1 really doesn't do him justice.

-t

QFT. The Woz always did and always will just want to do what makes him happy. He's not a greed-motivated individual. Working at Apple was no longer making him happy and he was already set for life financially. He really shouldn't be on a list of laughing stocks for choosing to leave a job he didn't want or need.
post #4 of 28
Thread Starter 
... and counting! ...

7. Ivan Seidenberg (Verizon boss) - "Steve Jobs eventually will get old" said Seidenberg, scoffing at Apple's iPhone sales so far. "There goes the conspiracy again. You're declaring them a winner before they've earned it on the field. Jobs has no monopoly on innovation!" [Ed. note: Enderle and Verizon was first approached by Apple to handle the iPhone exclusively, but dismissed the iPhone as unworthy.]

8. Rob Enderle - "Business users should not be too quick to adopt the iPhone because flaws in the product may take time to surface ... Apple is one of those companies that could sell refrigerators to Eskimos, but that does not suggest that Eskimos should actually buy them. The problem is that Apple tends to lead on hype and does a good job controlling initial product reviews. It would be better for employees and their companies if purchases of the iPhone 3G were delayed until at least September (Ed. note: this is about the time RIM will try to roll out their new "iPhone-killer" model).
post #5 of 28
No karma. All this negativity is reason for their depression. Apple will create the future and reap the rewards. Heads up and nose to the grind stone.
Macintosh today, iPhone tomorrow, AppleTV forever!
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Macintosh today, iPhone tomorrow, AppleTV forever!
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post #6 of 28
Thread Starter 
Growing List of Apple's Laughing Stockboyz
As Apple ultimately becomes vidicated, it will engender a long line of "Wrong-Way Corrigans" who, standing on the edge of blackhole oblivion, insistently proclaim "There is too much fuss being made about gravity - ummmm, make that Apple!!" Apple's Trail of Tearz starts to the left:

1. MICHAEL MALONE (Author of Infinite Loop) - "Steve Jobs just can’t take on this juggernaut called Intel/Windows. Look at the combined market capitalization of Gateway, Dell, Compaq, Intel and Microsoft. That’s like two trillion dollars that he’s up against. And there almost 300 more. No matter how well he does, he’s still got himself a $15 or $20 billion company. The question is: Can Jobs do much more than he’s done right now? He’s up against 300 companies. No matter how clever Jobs is, the combined creativity and brainpower of 300 companies ultimately will defeat him. He didn’t believe that the first time around. I think he knows that now. That’s why I think he’s positioned Apple for the big exit. I suspect he’s shopping the place around.

I don’t want to say Steve Jobs is a one trick pony, but his two great successes are the Mac and the iMac and they’re both the same thing."

2. NATHAN MYHRVOLD - In discussing Apple's failure to bring the Copland operating system to market, Microsoft's Nathan Myhrvold says Apple had to suffer "the ultimate ignominy" of buying an operating system from the outside. This is a very ironic statement, considering that Bill Gates and Paul Allen bought a CP/M clone called 86-DOS and made some modifications. It was later known as MS-DOS!

3. MICHAEL DELL - When asked how to fix Apple, the head of Dell offers a rather drastic solution: "Close it and return the shareholders' money!"

4. STEVE BALLMER - (Nov 14, 2006) ... Microsoft's Zune Can Beat Apple's IPod, Ballmer Says

5. ED COLLIGAN - "Responding to questions from New York Times correspondent John Markoff at a Churchill Club breakfast gathering Thursday morning, Colligan laughed off the idea that any company -- including the wildly popular Apple Computer -- could easily win customers in the finicky smart-phone sector.

"We've learned and struggled for a few years here figuring out how to make a decent phone," he said. "PC guys are not going to just figure this out. They're not going to just walk in.'"

6. Jeff Zucker/George Kliavkoff (don't deserve to be capitalized) - "A move by NBC Universal to walk away or withdraw a large amount of content will probably hobble Apple’s efforts to move deeper into the sale of video-focused consumer electronics like the iPhone and a new class of iPods."

7. Ivan Seidenberg (Verizon boss) - "Steve Jobs eventually will get old" said Seidenberg, scoffing at Apple's iPhone sales so far. "There goes the conspiracy again. You're declaring them a winner before they've earned it on the field. Jobs has no monopoly on innovation!" [Ed. note: Enderle and Verizon was first approached by Apple to handle the iPhone exclusively, but dismissed the iPhone as unworthy.]

8. Rob Enderle - "Business users should not be too quick to adopt the iPhone because flaws in the product may take time to surface ... Apple is one of those companies that could sell refrigerators to Eskimos, but that does not suggest that Eskimos should actually buy them. The problem is that Apple tends to lead on hype and does a good job controlling initial product reviews. It would be better for employees and their companies if purchases of the iPhone 3G were delayed until at least September (Ed. note: this is about the time RIM will try to roll out their new "iPhone-killer" model).

9. Monkey Boy Steve Ballmer #2 - Sept. 2008 - "Apple iPhone will utterly fail in next 5 years and we (MS) will win!" Of course, Monkey Boy had already spouted off about the demise of the iPhone before it was actually sold, but this comment comes after a huge sales trend and back to back product of the year awards have already been established.

... and the beat goes on!
post #7 of 28
Thread Starter 
10. Nicholas Deleon - (Anti-Apple Toadie/Spin Bloggist) - "NBC back on iTunes because Apple caved to network's demands. Let's all predict Apple's imminent demise!"

"NBC left iTunes last year because Apple didnt let it set its own prices for its content. That has now changed. NBC said that itll be selling certain, older TV shows for 99 cents a pop versus the normal, Apple-set price of $1.99. NBC is also toying with the idea of creating best of collections that it would sell at a price of its choosing. For example, maybe the five best episodes of The Office for $5 instead of $10."

Let me see if dum'ol'me can follow this genius's reasoning. According to him, NBC left iTunes last year - NOT BECAUSE IT WANTED TO CHARGE MORE THAN WHAT APPLE ALLOWS, BUT BECAUSE IT WANTED TO CHARGE LESS!

Now, according to Deleon, it is Apple that caves, in effect saying "Gee, we give up - we want you back, NBC - so much that you can now sell your listings for 99¢ each rather than the $1.99 we were making for you on each transaction, thereby allowing you to make the loss you always wanted and held out for so long rather than the heavy sales volume you were doing at the higher selling point."

Of course, NBC tries to look as if it wanted to sell 99¢ TV shows all along - mean ol' Apple! - greedy bastards hat they are.

Pay no attention to the fact that NBC originally wanted the ability to package some of its offerings for a premium price - something Apple does not allow - until now that is - let's see - hmmm - that's 5 of its most prized shows in a collection set which will now sell for - let's do the math - 5 x 99¢ = about $5. Yes, that's the price point NBC was looking for all along.

Wow - thanks to NBC - we can all expect lower prices because of the outstanding example they have set.

Prediction - 15 years from now - the man on the street will ask "What's NBC?" One year from now, the man on the street will ask "Who's Nicholas Deleon. Nothin' on goggle about him."
post #8 of 28
Thread Starter 
11. Roger McNamee (investor in dead man walking Ed Colligan's Palm debacle) - his prognostication about the supposed upcoming release of the Palm Pre - "You know the beautiful thing: June 29, 2009 is the two year anniversary of the first shipment of the iPhone. Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later."

An obvious shrewd investor and smooth operator on the inside skinny, McNamee knows best, having done his homework. Ohhh! wait!! - did the original unsubsidized iPhone come with a two year contract? Nahhh - surely I must be wrong - tell me that McNamee and Wrong Way Colligan know better.

As one Gizmodo post put it - "Hilarious. It's one thing to have bravado, but quite another to have a company on the brink of bankruptcy to call out the most successful mobile phone company."

And the hits just keep on comin'...
post #9 of 28
You could really expand the thread by posting some things that have been said around here.
everything is good and it's gonna be that way forever
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everything is good and it's gonna be that way forever
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post #10 of 28
Thread Starter 
King of the Wrong Way Corrigans, Monkey Boy Steve Ballmer was quoted this week by Techflash as saying:

"Apple gained about one point, but now I think the tide has really turned back the other direction.
The economy is helpful. Paying an extra $500 for a computer in this environment - same piece of hardware - paying $500 more to get a logo on it? I think that's a more challenging proposition for the average person than it used to be.

It continues to amaze how someone like Bill Gates can in any way leave a legacy like MicroSoft for a gentleman like Steve Ballmer to completely screw up!

And the hits just keep on comin'...
post #11 of 28
Monkey Boy still doesn't get it.
post #12 of 28
Thread Starter 
12. Truly the lapsit exillis of all damnations by faint praise, (if Ballmer is the King of the Wrong-Way Corrigans) then the Emperor himself, Bill Gates, has sealed the success of the iPad for all time by disapproving comments directed at the iPad during his recent visit with Brent Schlender of BNET where he was quoted as saying:

""So, it’s not like I sit there and feel the same way I did with iPhone where I say, 'Oh my God, Microsoft didn’t aim high enough.' It's a nice reader, but there’s nothing on the iPad I look at and say, 'Oh, I wish Microsoft had done it.'"

Of course, this contradicts an earlier byte from MacDailyNews ( September 2, 2004) where Gates was similarly quoted as saying an uncannily identical quip about the iPod (which, in true Gatesian style, completely contradicts his recent comment about his initial feelings about the iPod above):

"There's nothing that the iPod does that I say, 'Oh, wow, I don't think we can do that.'" - Bill Gates, September 02, 2004.

He-he, he is obviously bowled over by the realization that he won't be able to make a dime off of the devices in terms of software sales, unlike many small developers who will make a fortune.

Given the prospect that no MicroSoft software income will come from yet another of Steve Jobs' innovation game-changers, MS will be "forced" to get on board in the only way Jobs has left open for them - on the hardware side of the street.

I can see it now: As iPod has led to iPad, so will the Zune lead to the Zane!

Surely the genuises at MS will take all that they have "learned" from the school of hard knocks and apply this wisdom vigorously to what this time will hopefully be an unbridled and unparalleled spending spree in an effort to catch Apple.

Just to make it fair, the usual handicapping should apply: giving Apple a minimum two year head start; and the use of aging technology from another company to manufacture the Zane, preferably under the eagle eye of Monkey Boy Steve Ballmer whose deft and critical touch was unmistakeable in the ordering and delivery of Zunes in the exact same shade of brown Ballmer had earlier insisted on when he went to the trouble of suppling the exact pantone hue to the manufacturer in a specimen bag.
post #13 of 28
All these A-Holes speak about apple as you posted, however you never say what you think about it all. What confuses me is that all the negative post you have put up and no dates to them. Are they 2010 current to Apple's success? Again what why post all this? What is you point? Are you for Apple or just some Microsoft Crony trying to ruin someone's day.

Answered one: 2004, 2006 statements
post #14 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RussellSakay View Post

All these A-Holes speak about apple as you posted, however you never say what you think about it all. What confuses me is that all the negative post you have put up and no dates to them. Are they 2010 current to Apple's success? Again what why post all this? What is you point? Are you for Apple or just some Microsoft Crony trying to ruin someone's day.

Answered one: 2004, 2006 statements

Sorry RussellSakay about the quality of the thread and my posts in particular. I've reread them and am inclined to agree with you - nobody enjoys reading a thread that leaves gaping holes for the reader to fill. Again - sorry for the confusion - it certainly was not my intention.

As to the missing dates, please note that there are some dates on the quotes - but I agree that there are no dates on most of them. When they were posted, the items noted were usually highlighted within the same timeframe on a popular Apple or PC web newsite so the reader would probably not be curious as to whether the quote was authentic or not.

I must say that I never considered the possibility that a quote that was in the public mind when made, might later be subject to an increased scrutiny when reviewed by someone with fresh eyes, but such is obviously the case. You are quite right - I should have done that and will make a note to do so in the future. I am at least partially gratified that the post I made yesterday is properly dated.

As to the rationale behind my posting and the point I wish to make, again I must thank you for bringing to my attention the need for clarification. Not to be too wishy but English is not my first language but I try hard to be proficient in it - sometimes too much apparently.

The point of this post is to provide an ongoing list or a type of archive - not too detailed or comprehensive - of what seems to me to be a growing trend of non-Apple people who evince a certain pattern that seems to repeat itself. This pattern is usually one of disrespect for Apple and/or Mr. Steve Jobs, whereby either or both are dismissed or subject to ridicule by some spokesperson who is typically a competitor or a MicroSoft ally, only to have it later blow up in their face as the saying goes.

History, even recent history, is often replete with such patterns and it provides an interesting perspective to see so many people (who are committed to diminishing Apple's efforts) end up suffering the same fate of ridicule that they had hoped for Apple.

I am definitely for Apple because I see it as a quintessential archetype of an American underdog story - where a company of vision and passion is beset on all sides by fierce detractors - how you might say "Cry havoc - and let slip the dogs of war!" Yet because of their unswerving commitment to delivering a vision intact which results in a certain joy for the end-user, they will ultimately win out in the end if they stay committed to this pursuit - as I believe time will tell.

I might not understand your reference to "a MicroSoft crony trying to ruin someone's day" - but I will take it as a question of whether I am such a person. The answer is definitely not - although until relatively recently, I did own a small stake in MicroSoft stock and was finding that I got continually more anxious when I saw MicroSoft do things (often in seeming opposition to Apple) that did not seem in the best interests of the company (at least to the perspective of the tiny investor that I was). The most difficult thing for me was when I saw MicroSoft react to Apple and seemingly fail to reflexively act or even understand the nature of the Apple initiative. That is why I post this.

While it is my nature to let the chips fall where they may, I must say that I would like it just as fine if my remarks ultimately did not ruin someone's day - as opposed to making one feel uncomfortable for remarks made (as your post has done to me). However, when one goes online and posts a remark, they should stand for the attention it receives - both me in my limited capacity as a small time poster and even Mr. Bill Gates, the Chairperson of one of the largest corporations in the world.

As I am sure time will tell, Mr. Gates will find out that he has overlooked the ramifications of what the iPad presents and ultimately offers as a game-changing device. I for one as familiar with a British company who is at the forefront of whiteboard technology and who is excited by the prospects of extending their whiteboard experience in the educational classroom by putting an iPad in the hands of teachers and students and letting them control the learning experience by active touchscreen at their student desks. This alone should be huge over the conventional Wacom style bluetooth wireless tablets which have no screen and are little more than a remote mouse.

While I do not really wish to "ruin Mr. Gate's day", I am sure he couldn't care less what legacy his calculated remarks ultimately engender if they hit the mark intended when first uttered.

Again, I thank you for making your remarks very much. My wife who I respect very much for her English says that my word choice is too big for my bite so I must also apologize for that beforehand but it will save me much time if you will politely overlook the indiscretion. This is maybe why I don't talk more when I post because I realize I do not want to be too confusing.

Sorry for any misunderstanding and thank you for taking the time to write. I appreciate it. Go Apple!!
post #15 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by meh 2 View Post

Sorry RussellSakay about the quality of the thread and my posts in particular. I've reread them and am inclined to agree with you - nobody enjoys reading a thread that leaves gaping holes for the reader to fill. Again - sorry for the confusion - it certainly was not my intention.

As to the missing dates, please note that there are some dates on the quotes - but I agree that there are no dates on most of them. When they were posted, the items noted were usually highlighted within the same timeframe on a popular Apple or PC web newsite so the reader would probably not be curious as to whether the quote was authentic or not.

I must say that I never considered the possibility that a quote that was in the public mind when made, might later be subject to an increased scrutiny when reviewed by someone with fresh eyes, but such is obviously the case. You are quite right - I should have done that and will make a note to do so in the future. I am at least partially gratified that the post I made yesterday is properly dated.

As to the rationale behind my posting and the point I wish to make, again I must thank you for bringing to my attention the need for clarification. Not to be too wishy but English is not my first language but I try hard to be proficient in it - sometimes too much apparently.

The point of this post is to provide an ongoing list or a type of archive - not too detailed or comprehensive - of what seems to me to be a growing trend of non-Apple people who evince a certain pattern that seems to repeat itself. This pattern is usually one of disrespect for Apple and/or Mr. Steve Jobs, whereby either or both are dismissed or subject to ridicule by some spokesperson who is typically a competitor or a MicroSoft ally, only to have it later blow up in their face as the saying goes.

History, even recent history, is often replete with such patterns and it provides an interesting perspective to see so many people (who are committed to diminishing Apple's efforts) end up suffering the same fate of ridicule that they had hoped for Apple.

I am definitely for Apple because I see it as a quintessential archetype of an American underdog story - where a company of vision and passion is beset on all sides by fierce detractors - how you might say "Cry havoc - and let slip the dogs of war!" Yet because of their unswerving commitment to delivering a vision intact which results in a certain joy for the end-user, they will ultimately win out in the end if they stay committed to this pursuit - as I believe time will tell.

I might not understand your reference to "a MicroSoft crony trying to ruin someone's day" - but I will take it as a question of whether I am such a person. The answer is definitely not - although until relatively recently, I did own a small stake in MicroSoft stock and was finding that I got continually more anxious when I saw MicroSoft do things (often in seeming opposition to Apple) that did not seem in the best interests of the company (at least to the perspective of the tiny investor that I was). The most difficult thing for me was when I saw MicroSoft react to Apple and seemingly fail to reflexively act or even understand the nature of the Apple initiative. That is why I post this.

While it is my nature to let the chips fall where they may, I must say that I would like it just as fine if my remarks ultimately did not ruin someone's day - as opposed to making one feel uncomfortable for remarks made (as your post has done to me). However, when one goes online and posts a remark, they should stand for the attention it receives - both me in my limited capacity as a small time poster and even Mr. Bill Gates, the Chairperson of one of the largest corporations in the world.

As I am sure time will tell, Mr. Gates will find out that he has overlooked the ramifications of what the iPad presents and ultimately offers as a game-changing device. I for one as familiar with a British company who is at the forefront of whiteboard technology and who is excited by the prospects of extending their whiteboard experience in the educational classroom by putting an iPad in the hands of teachers and students and letting them control the learning experience by active touchscreen at their student desks. This alone should be huge over the conventional Wacom style bluetooth wireless tablets which have no screen and are little more than a remote mouse.

While I do not really wish to "ruin Mr. Gate's day", I am sure he couldn't care less what legacy his calculated remarks ultimately engender if they hit the mark intended when first uttered.

Again, I thank you for making your remarks very much. My wife who I respect very much for her English says that my word choice is too big for my bite so I must also apologize for that beforehand but it will save me much time if you will politely overlook the indiscretion. This is maybe why I don't talk more when I post because I realize I do not want to be too confusing.

Sorry for any misunderstanding and thank you for taking the time to write. I appreciate it. Go Apple!!

My intension was not to anger you or make you think I was just some Mac Dick. I wanted to know the purpose of all this feedback you have cut and pasted in this forum.
post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RussellSakay View Post

My intension was not to anger you or make you think I was just some Mac Dick. I wanted to know the purpose of all this feedback you have cut and pasted in this forum.

No, no. Please. I certainly do not think that. I hoped to convey that I actually appreciated your remarks. I believe they were on target and I needed to hear them. I hope I have answered your good question - probably too much!

Again, I thank you for your time and hope to hear from you some time again, my friend.
post #17 of 28
Can we include people from AI?

Oh wait . . . the list would run for hundreds of pages.
post #18 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quadra 610 View Post

Can we include people from AI?

Oh wait . . . the list would run for hundreds of pages.

Yes, if we included AI posters that would easily generate the longest thread ever.
post #19 of 28
@ meh 2
too soon
the iPad could flop, and this is from an iPad-believer like me
but I sure hope it is a success

Quote:
I can see it now: As iPod has led to iPad, so will the Zune lead to the Zane!

Zane: be inZane

iPod nano 5th Gen 8GB Orange, iPad 3rd Gen WiFi 32GB White
MacBook Pro 15" Core i7 2.66GHz 8GB RAM 120GB Intel 320M
Mac mini Core 2 Duo 2.4GHz 8GB RAM, iPhone 5 32GB Black

Reply

iPod nano 5th Gen 8GB Orange, iPad 3rd Gen WiFi 32GB White
MacBook Pro 15" Core i7 2.66GHz 8GB RAM 120GB Intel 320M
Mac mini Core 2 Duo 2.4GHz 8GB RAM, iPhone 5 32GB Black

Reply
post #20 of 28
Thread Starter 
And so it continues, the endless parade of those who just do not "get it." As another thread (please see "The iPad has no market and the iPhone is not popular according to..." by Mac Voyer - General Discussion) on this forum so aptly put it, some of these individuals obviously must live in "alternate universes."

The latest and most noteworthy laughingstock is none other than who should be Apple's chief competitor and the one who would spur Apple on to improve their own products - namely, Research In Motion!!!

This time from RIM's (read that Blackberry's) President & Co-Chief Executive Officer Mike Lazaridis, who downplayed many of Apple's efforts today, April 16th 2010, in a keynote at the TD Newcrest technology conference in Toronto.

The sum of his remarks? - NO MARKET FOR TABLETS or TOUCH-ONLY PHONES!! - a view only preposterous, of course, when considered from the narrow perspective of this known universe, given that Mr. Lazaridis is, according to RIM's own executive bio page, "known in the global wireless community as a visionary, innovator, and engineer of extraordinary talent."

One can almost imagine "Steve Jobs, after skimming over the day's newsworthy events and reading the quote from Lazaridis, at that point turning back to an unanswered memo from his earlier director's meeting where the question had come up as to whether to include cutting edge innovations in screen and software improvements in the upcoming summer iPhone release (which would cut into Apple's profit), and sending a simple "thumbs down" icon as a famous Steve response back to those awaiting his decision. Why should we, Steve might ponder, when Pre is down, HTC's balls are soon to be squeezed, and this is the consensus from RIM's "visionary guru." Given this outlook, Steve resists the urge to freeze and halt all iPhone research and improvement for the next 3 years and turn instead to consolidating Apple's satellite network plans."

To wit: <http://www.electronista.com/articles/10/04/16/rim.co.ceo.questions.ipad.iphone.staying.power/>.

13. RIM's co-chief Mike Lazaridis downplayed many of Apple's efforts today in a keynote at the TD Newcrest technology conference in Toronto. The executive was concerned that there wasn't necessarily a market for tablets like the iPad and that any devices would have to be put in the context of computers and smartphones. Many companies ask new hires to choose either a new smartphone or a new notebook, and if the tablet is simply a substitute for a notebook it may not have an easy answer, Lazaridis said. He added that smartphones are getting more powerful and more computer like, and by extension would reduce the need for a tablet.

The company leader also dismissed the importance of touchscreen phones. While it's important to give customers what they want, touch-only phones like the iPhone aren't that popular, Lazaridis argued. He claimed that most of the people buying touchscreen phones are going back to phones with hardware QWERTY keyboards, like those that made RIM "famous."

He pointed out that it was the experience and not the features that determined a phone's success, and that the most popular BlackBerry was actually the starter Curve 8520. It not only lacks touch but 3G and a high-resolution screen.

With "wrong-way Corrigans" like this, Apple seems almost unfairly benefitted due to an utter lack of competition from what should be viable corporate entities desirous of making a better mousetrap.
post #21 of 28
Thread Starter 
14. Like a rodent happily spinning itself into oblivion on its own internally created hamster-wheel, Shantanu Narayen gave us a peek into why the Jobsian Juggernaut has been left virtually unchallenged - and why, remaining unchallenged over time, will eventually parlay itself into a self-fulfilled silicon prophet (spelled p-r-o-f-i-t) who garners honor even in his own country (because Apple will be the first trillion-dollar company).

Expounding on why Adobe profits are down and will continue to "dip" (if not for Apple customers one might make that "plummet"), Mr. Narayen pulled his head out of the sand long enough to tell a sympathizing sychophantic journalist that any crashes of Flash in Mac OS X could not possibly be related to Adobe's software, but instead are the fault of the questionable Mac Operating system.

He also was gracious enough to set the record straight about Job's patently false claims that Flash is in any way responsible for causing excessive drains on battery-powered mobile systems. In fact, Narayen adjusted a carefully placed mirror when dismissing Jobs' stated problems with the technology behind Flash as a "smokescreen."

Citing Job's obsession with control, he blasted the Apple Chief for wanting to control the system to the point that it affected the user experience. "We believe in creating one application that can be used across all platforms. Take a suit of clothes as an analogy. Jobs believes in tailoring the suit to best fit a certain type of wearer - while we believe that it is best to have a "one size fits all. Apple insists that this creates problems for their Mac body-type - which doesn't wear clothes off the rack very well - but we say the fit is good enough for the rest of the world - it's good enough for Apple! In short, Apple is too good - they feel they are too good to look and perform like the rest of us! I control Steve - Steve doesn't control me!

During the live interview, Narayen was hoping not to have to take a call from his former employees Carlos Icaza and Walter Luh (former Adobe mobile engineers) who were working on the development of Flash Lite for emerging mobile platforms because Adobe knew Flash was such a resource hog. The whole Adobe Flash Lite program was cancelled, of course, in 2007 when it became apparent to the Adobe braintrust that the just-released Apple iPhone was going to be a bust and they opted instead to concentrate all of their resources on what they assumed would be the increasing market demand for increasingly powerful feature-rich phones like Japan already had.

Continued Narayen "What the world needs now, besides a 15MP phone camera, is a mobile platform that can handle native Flash in all of its splendiferous glory at the 8MB memory level - as opposed to this Flash-Lite nonsense where we would be expected to produce Flash-like results with just a few KB memory overhead instead! "Ridiculous!" snorted Narayen, saying "I had to fire that group of rebels insisting on Flash Lite! It was like having Steve Jobs at work on the fifth floor below! Thankfully, everyone who had sympathies with that group have finally been purged from the pure essence of Adobe!"

With genuises like Hyderabad wunderkind Narayen driving their entry, there can be little wonder why Adobe remains firmly rooted in the pole position of the "Indian Apple-Less" silicon speedway on the growing list of laughing stocks falling over themselves to see who can outdo one another in the race to be famously and deservedly dissed and dismissed on their own merits by Steve Jobs.
post #22 of 28
Thread Starter 
15. Not to be outdone by Narayen, Dan Rayburn as Exec. VP of Streaming Media, brilliantly notes that Apple surely must be feeling the pressure from the large group of consumers who have yet to buy one of the recently purchased million iPads already into user's hands. Surely, as the highly satisfied iPad group swells to 2 million and then on to 3, 4, and 5 million, Dan notes that the pressure to allow Flash to bog down the iPad experience must be near unbearable.

Dan furthers demonstrates his amazing accumen for wrong-way Corriganism when he points out that Jobs takes Adobe to task for being a closed environment, while his own Apple OS X system is closed or proprietary! Leaping on the similarities as to how the adjective C-L-O-S-E-D is spelled with regard to Adobe's environment and Apple's system, Dan shrewdly sidesteps the need to examine the nouns at the right of the identical adjectives, relying instead on traits that must be responsible for the following gems of thought...

Dan takes Jobs to task for trying to fool people into believing the iPad experience is a "full Web" experience. This is an outright lie, Dan explains, because clearly Job's iPad cannot access the 75% of the Web composed of the bloated, bad malware and battery draining delights which clogs and imparts familiarity and a certain value to everyday PC users' experiences. Showing his skills as a word-wizard, Dan nails Jobs on the obvious point that Jobs is lying when he says the iPad gives a full web experience! It can't, Dan gleefully notes, - because a full experience must necessarily embrace all of the bad karma that is out there - which Job's iPad simply doesn't do! Point two for Rayburn!

Rayburn also burns Jobs by pointing out that SproutCore just debuted this week new HTML5 web development tools and MLB and NFL have yet to implement them to make the switch to HTML5. Of course, Rayburn was recently burned himself when his big example, YouTube, opted over to offer HTML5, so he wisely went silent on that one - just as he will when all the other waiting sites will begin to use resources like SproutCore to make the transition. And he was strangely silent on MicroSoft's recent admission that HTML5 was the future for the web, and Flash was a dinosaur memory hog that was a deadman walking.

Relying on the huge installed base of PC dinosaurs to complain when they may have trouble running HTML5 (of course they also have trouble running Flash but have managed a work around for it - (remember, molasses as a lubricant is merely a point of perspective, like the one-eyed man being king in the land of the blind!) Dan is quick to point out that this installed base of aging PCs running Windows 98 and XP "IS" the PC era that everyone should be basing their metrics on for future development.

Rayburn takes Jobs to task for this obvious oversight, chiding "Well I hate to tell you this Steve, but it's still the PC era" as he ducks for a Pterodactyl gliding by. Dan continues "For all the growth of the mobile space in the U.S., how much of that content consumed on a mobile device is video? - Very little!" Rayburn, buoyed by the sheer logic thus cast, continues his flawless assault on Jobs' archaic-forward thinking - thus, "No one is getting rid of their PCs because they have a mobile device, the PC is not going anywhere and the volume of content that is delivered to PCs will always surpass what will be delivered to mobile. Apple's iPhone and iPads are not going to replace the PC experience, ever.”

Relying on CompuServe as the lynchpin in his syllogism, Rayburn continues "And I dare say that, like CompuServe, PCs are the reigning Tyrannosaurus Rexes in the world and no mobile computing will ever overtake their current paradigm!"

Wow - that's one wrong-way Corrigan that really knows how to "turn" - er, twist a phrase!! At this rate, he won't be lambasting Jobs, he'll simply be looking for Jobs.
post #23 of 28
Thread Starter 
16. Eric E. Schmidt - Chief Executive Officer of Google - displays what has (for him) become a vanguard expression of "wrong-way Corriganism." While most of the wrong-way Corrigans highlighted in this growing list are chronicled for being 180 degrees off the mark, while thinking themselves smugly in the know, Mr. Schmidt represents a special kind of "snake in the grass" Corriganism, wherein he knows the score, but pretends to be a member of the homo booboisee.

For example, he sat quietly on the Apple board, pretending to be an amicable director from a flagship search engine company, but all the while the "silicon leprechaun" was playing a desperate game of corporate espionage where he siphoned off what he could in the way of previews of Apple's technology output and roadmap, while "in typical stealth mode" taking it all back to Google and disseminating it to a waiting band of cutthroat copycats in whom he had cultivated a greedy taste for Apple insider information. Only when it got too obvious for even the leprechaun's hot Apple-lust, did Eric ever recuse himself from certain parts of Apple's Board meetings, and then only for those portions of the meetings where he waited outside in the hallway while the rest of the board continued in closed session.

Unable to change his ways any more than a leopard can its spots, Eric was asked recently what he thought of the iPad, to which he replied "You might want to tell me the difference between a large phone and a tablet." In typical Eric-Speak (craven-version - which is the only known version to exist), this means that Google has an iPad me-too under wraps and will want to launch it in much the same fashion as they have the iPhone me-too.

Sure enough, the New York Times reports, Eric the Silicon Leprechaun told friends at a recent party in Los Angeles about the new device, which would exclusively run the Android operating system. People with direct knowledge of the project - who did not want to be named because they were unauthorized to speak publicly about the device - said the company had been experimenting in "stealth mode" with a few publishers to explore delivery of books, magazines, and other content on a tablet.

It's not that Eric the Craven is a wrong-way Corrigan who doesn't "get it" - it's that (while he does indeed "get it") - he pretends not to, laying back like a snake in the grass when actually developing his own insider-based competitive products in his trademark "stealth mode."

The problem is Eric is unable to take a page from John Milton's character from "The Devil's Advocate" wherein he tells young Kevin Lomax to never let your enemies see you coming. With Eric, everyone but Eric sees him coming - and all the while Eric continues like the Iago he is, unable to tell that his backside is so exposed.

No wonder Steve Jobs, in effect smarting from Eric's duplicituous stabbing of Apple, may well have opined like did Antony of Brutus's treachery in stabbing Caesar, "...and this, Ericius, was the most unkindest cut of all."

While Steve may well deign to have coffee in public with Ericius when it suits his purpose, he will hardly allow Ericius the scorpion the opportunity to sting Apple again, saving Ericius the need to explain why he would sting anything ferrying him across a pond he would otherwise be unable to navigate on his own. As Jobs famously summarized, "We did not enter the search business, they entered the phone business."

When the scorpion explains why he treacherously stings an ally, he must be unaware of his own evil, merely excusing the act to be the natural result of some unintentional innate urge (re: the scorpion's reply to the toad as they both sank, "It's in my nature!").

Naturally, it is only fitting that Google would have a mantra like "Don't be evil," while all the while being only that at its highest echelons (and no doubt being quite unaware of it themselves - even though it is obvious to any reasonable observer).

Again, as Jobs has famously uttered, "...one more thing. This [Google] don't be evil mantra: It's bullsh*t!"
post #24 of 28
Thread Starter 
I don't know why I find it intriguing that certain personalities, who are responsible for running incredibly large and powerful multinational corporations, should have such a different take on Apple than I do. It sometimes makes me wonder if my little grip on reality is all that secure. Their actions continually remind me of a famous American football personality I heard of named "Wrong Way Corrigan." When given the ball in a crucial game, he made a heroic run for the goal, going past every defender who tried to stop him, and did not stop until he passed the goal line. The only trouble is that he went the wrong way, crossing the other team's goal line - and winning the game for them. Supposedly along the way, he was being shouted at by everyone to stop - turn around - go the other direction - but Wrong-Way ignored them all, kept his head down, and famously performed on a public stage one of the most famous epic failures of all time.

But now I think these examples may be more like watching Charley Sheen (as some may have had the recent opportunity to see him self-destruct). You wanted to look away but somehow it was remarkable to see someone say the things he did (some remarks seemed quite considered) and go down that road of self-destruction in the manner he did. Somewhat similar - I suppose - to being a "rubbernecker" over here on the California highways when passing the unfortunate circumstances of another human being. You know you shouldn't look but are tempted to take a peek if you can do so without slowing traffic or creating a danger yourself (something that perhaps can't be done in the long run anyway).

At any rate, two new Sheens have popped up on the Wrong-Way Radar screen and I am cretin enough to document them here below for posterity.
post #25 of 28
Thread Starter 
17. Craig Mundie, Microsoft's chief research and strategy officer [you know - that Redmond, WA. company responsible for such enduring and rock-solid performers as Windows NT and Windows Me and Windows Vista (ad nauseum)], said today that he's not sure whether Apple's iPad will "remain with us or not" because Mundie sees it as just a passing fad.

Echoing his boss's (Steve Ballmer - see above) earlier dismissive take on Apple's success as nothing more than a "rounding error," the erstwhile Mundie quashed the debate once and for all - to any who might have previously questioned his credentials to be the leader responsible for research and strategy for Microsoft - by being equally dismissive of Apple's petty little feat of selling (to actual end-users) 15 million first generation iPads and being on track to far surpass this with the iPad2.

In what can only be described as "pure genius" [as it is defined in Redmond], Mundie summed it all up for posterity when he stated "Today you can see tablets and pads and other things that are starting to live in the space between (a PC and a smartphone). Personally, I don't know whether that space will be a persistent one or not." This is because Mundie believes the successor will not be a smartphone or an iPad, but a "room" (didn't I see this concept already lampooned in the film "Back to the Future" - ahem!)?
post #26 of 28
Thread Starter 
18. Andy Lark - Dell's global head of marketing, predicted that Apple's iPad will eventuallly succumb to Dell's Android & Windows-based tablets because of pressure from an open enterprise market. While congratulating Apple for igniting the tablet opportunity with the iPad, Lark predicted the device will ultimately fall to more "open competitors." Citing the creed of Adobe, Lark continued the mantra by stating that he is actually happy that Apple created the market (so he can profit by it no doubt) - "but longer term, open, capable and affordable will win, not closed, high priced and proprietary."

Showing why Dell is at the point they're at today (due no doubt in part to the fact that they only recruit and hire the best), Lark trained his deeply analytic powers on the situation at Cupertino and delivered the following divination "The challenge they've got is that already Android is outpacing them. Apple is great if you've got a lot of money and live on an island. It's not so great if you have to exist in a diverse, open, connected enterprise; simple things can become quite complex." Lark explained.

When asked to expound on so deep a thought, the great man stopped briefly on his triumphant stride from the speaker's podium and fixed the obviously ignorant interviewer with a sad stare. Explaining in the simplest terms that even an Apple fanboy could understand, Lark thundered the following inescapable logic: "It's the high cost of additional accessories for the iPad that makes the tablet inaccessible. An iPad with a keyboard, a mouse and a case [ed. note - overlook the fact that no PCs come with a cover either while ignoring the fact that the iPad doesn't need or want (in most cases) a keyboard or a mouse] and you'll be at $1500 or $1600; that's double of what you're paying," he patiently explained to the half-wit reporter. "That's not feasible" he stated, mercifully ending the explanation there, not wishing to embarrass Apple enthusiasts any further by continuing to dash their hopes that the iPad might one day be a success of which they could be proud.

It's nice to see Apple's competition take the initiative and show mercy when dealing with the crazed Apple RDF adherents that one sometimes comes across when dealing with technology people can't live without. In all fairness, he could have - AND DIDN'T - point out the obvious - that besides the mouse and keyboard and covers, Lark graciously did not point out that by adding the equally obvious add-on of a Mercedes CL-Class automobile, it would have really put it over the top and unquestionably into a category that ordinary people just couldn't afford.

Oh, to be Richard Cory (er - I mean Andy Lark!) ...
post #27 of 28
Thread Starter 
Oooops - forgot one that popped up today on the radar screen.

19. Last fall, Acer's chairman JT Wang predicted that Apple's share of the tablet market would plunge from near 100 percent to just 20 to 30 percent because of the "closed platform" of Apple's iPad iOS, noting confidence in Android in saying that it "simply need a little more time before it turns strong."

Now this...

Stan Shih, the founder of Acer, the second largest PC maker globally, has acknowledged that the company must overhaul its operations to focus on profit margins rather than market share in reaction to the success of Apple.

To this...

Acer Corp. Chief Executive Gianfranco Lanci resigned Thursday, as his company looks to reorganize in an effort to take on the iPad and other tablets like it. The company hopes to find a permanent successor by the end of April.

Lanci's exist was put in context on Friday by DigiTimes, which noted that the impact from Apple products was a "key reason" for his departure. Could JT Wang be in the wings?
post #28 of 28
Thread Starter 
20. Cliff Edwards of the Wall Street Journal ran this advice for Steve Jobs back in May, 2001 when he wrote an article titled: "SORRY, STEVE: HERE'S WHY APPLE STORES WON'T WORK."

In it this wrong way Corrigan actually quotes other luminary Wrong-Ways, pontificating on why the Apple stores are such a bad idea. I think that their comments are most illuminating about the attitudes that still reside today in many of these technology companies. To wit:

"Apple's problem is it still believes the way to grow is serving caviar in a world that seems pretty content with cheese and crackers," gripes former Chief Financial Officer Joseph Graziano. Note that this is a FORMER Chief Financial Officer. No wonder!

"I give them two years before they're turning out the lights on a very painful and expensive mistake," says David A. Goldstein, president of researcher Channel Marketing Corp.

"When you choose to compete with your retailers, clearly that's not a comfortable situation," says CompUSA Chief Operating Officer Lawrence N. Mondry. Note - has anybody seen a Comp USA lately? I didn't think so!

"They are the most secretive company I've ever done business with," says one top retailer. "They should let the news leak out, to convince the world how exciting their stuff is. That's how everyone else does it. Maybe it's time Steve Jobs stopped thinking quite so differently." Our friend - that savvy analyst Cliff Edwards again, summing it all up with the wisdom of the day.

And the beat(down) goes on.
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