Originally Posted by Celemourn
Ok, apparently none of you are aware of the secret insider information I possess. Allow me to enlighten you all. For all photographic evidence, please refer to THIS SITE
So, here we go. The secret is...Steve Jobs does not actually have any internal organs or skeletal structure.
How is this possible, you may ask? Ah, it's simple. He is filled with pure, liquified EGO (Executive Growth hOrmone). It's what powers his Reality Distortion Field (the field generator is in the little toe of his left foot - you can see it when he wears sandals). Now, if we go back to 1997, when NeXT was acquired and Steve took over, (please refer to the above link for photos) you'll recall that he was looking quite plump. This is due to the fact that the RDF had been in disuse during the NeXT years, Steve having made relatively few public appearances. As a result, his stockpile of fuel was topped off, and ready to go.
Fast forward to 2003. After successfully deploying his RDF in the launch of the iMac, iPod, and making some very fundamental changes to Apple as a company, we can see that his EGO reserves had been depleted somewhat. He slimmed down, and even lost a bit of hair (follicles contain super high concentrations of EGO). Apple was the better for it.
Now we arrive at 2008. Steve has not only launched the third generation of iPod Nano, intel based Macs, the new form factor for the MacBook and MacBook Pro, the Mac Pro, and all the other wonderful little oddities of the last few years, but he has brought to fruition the iPod Touch and iPhone. These two, doubtless, have required the greatest expenditure of EGO so far, in what has been a monumental reshaping of the Cellular Backwater called America. We can tell by looking at all the phone makers (especially in China!) who are trying to copy the iPhone. The RDF has been working at triple capacity, and been doing double shifts.
So you see, Steve isn't ill. He hasn't even lost much weight (EGO is incredibly buoyant in Earth's atmosphere, and may frequently be mistaken for hot air). He's simply deflating.
So there you have it!