I think you make a valid point but I would suggest that you not consider it a personal failure if such a thing or something like it were to materialize.
This past Sunday my pastor gave a message which addresses this very issue in many ways.
I think any and all here should listen to his message and see the perspective he shares. I know I was impressed with the perspective which I never thought about before hearing his approach to difficult children making questionable choices.
Please watch or listen to his message:
Moving from Hurt to Hope"
From this page:
With complete respect,
You right Fellows, the baby himself is of course not a failure. By failure, I meaned the way I educated my child.
Once the mistake is done, we have to deal it, the best way we can, and that's another story and I respect nearly all the choices.
I just wanted to say IMHO that 17 is not the right age to raise a baby. At 17 99,99 % of the time you are not mature enough to raise a child.
PS : the audio message is interesting, but it deal more with rebellion than anything else. I am not sure that in her case it's rebellion. Perhaps it's a lack of education. I just spoke with one of my patient who had a child at 19. She said that it was really young, and at the time, her mother did not teached her anything about "these things". She said to me, that she managed to teach more her daughters for avoiding such issues.