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I am a "consultant" this coming month. What do I do?

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
A semi-serious thread, do I walk around saying things like, "change management is the driver of future valuation despite endemic volatility..." while looking like I predicted the credit crisis five years ago...?

It's only about 15 hours a week but at a slightly higher-than-average hourly rate, relative to my age, the industry and the country. (I'm only 30 so it's not some high-flying super-executive position thing)... Kind of like freelance but also having a more advisory function, there are the actual few staff that execute the marketing/design/retail implementation.

Kinda related to Retail/Marketing aspects of this particular business. Yes, I used to work for this particular company, and to be honest they've got various issues, too much to go into any detail. Like that stuff Tauron was talking about. As things get worse, people are promoted instead of chastised. Though hopefully, I am the exception to that dodgy rule. Hopefully...

Another phrase I could use: "Are you Web 2.0? If not, you're a dinosaur. You're yesterday's news. You gotta be 2.0. In fact, forget 2.0! Go 2.5! Yeah, that's it. Web 2.5. Today. Right now. From the ground up, from the inside out... We gotta think outside the box, mash things up. Come on, people. We only get one shot at this...!"

This month, am I on my way to becoming a certified asshole?
post #2 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by nvidia2008 View Post

A semi-serious thread, do I walk around saying things like, "change management is the driver of future valuation despite endemic volatility..." while looking like I predicted the credit crisis five years ago...?

It's only about 15 hours a week but at a slightly higher-than-average hourly rate, relative to my age, the industry and the country. (I'm only 30 so it's not some high-flying super-executive position thing)... Kind of like freelance but also having a more advisory function, there are the actual few staff that execute the marketing/design/retail implementation.

Kinda related to Retail/Marketing aspects of this particular business. Yes, I used to work for this particular company, and to be honest they've got various issues, too much to go into any detail. Like that stuff Tauron was talking about. As things get worse, people are promoted instead of chastised. Though hopefully, I am the exception to that dodgy rule. Hopefully...

Another phrase I could use: "Are you Web 2.0? If not, you're a dinosaur. You're yesterday's news. You gotta be 2.0. In fact, forget 2.0! Go 2.5! Yeah, that's it. Web 2.5. Today. Right now. From the ground up, from the inside out... We gotta think outside the box, mash things up. Come on, people. We only get one shot at this...!"

This month, am I on my way to becoming a certified asshole?

So you are equating being a consultant and asshole? I don't get it. Perhaps you mean being a manager/boss = asshole. Prove that a boss doesn't have to be an asshole, I would say, because it doesn't. Seems like you were smart enough to realize the fu()*$#@ up situation in your company, that is a beginning. Be fair to everybody with actions, not words, I would say.
post #3 of 10
"Going forward, we have to remaximalise out plenipotentitude."

That's what I'd say.
post #4 of 10
See if you can toss in some Lean Thinking and 6 Sigma jargon too.
post #5 of 10
Thread Starter 
Ooh.. 6 sigma... That's bound to impress while being fairly incomprehensible to the rank-and-file.
post #6 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan i Sabbah View Post

"Going forward, we have to remaximalise out plenipotentitude."
That's what I'd say.

Noted.
post #7 of 10
Good luck with your new job - where have you settled now nvidia?
post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nordkapp View Post

Good luck with your new job - where have you settled now nvidia?

Somewhere quite close to the equator at the moment. My attempts at getting into London with a good job around the middle of this year, was somewhat of an epic fail. Mostly due to that *June to August* being the period when the whole global economy started going bad, fast. And London being a major financial centre... so... *sigh*.
post #9 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by FloorJack View Post

See if you can toss in some Lean Thinking and 6 Sigma jargon too.

quote Warren Buffet and Jack Welch while you're at it.
post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sared View Post

quote Warren Buffet and Jack Welch while you're at it.

Ha! I've been watching a bit of 30 rock so I'm picking up some Jack Welch anecdotes and stuff LOLs
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